/baw/ - General Discussion

>>405433
Hey Stone

I really really need a shag. God damn.

>>405443
I don't enjoy sex

And I've only had actual full-on sex with girls at the massage parlor

Who to be fair were all attractive and friendly

Though this all might be because I ended up leaving it until I was in my late twenties and all those years of masturbation messed things up

Anyway if God intended for you to have sex he would not have invented pornography or given you hands

>>405444
>I ended up leaving it until I was in my late twenties
Wait, you waited that long, and then gave in?? Right when you were about to become a wizard???
Smh tbh fam

>>405436
Joke's on you, I'm

>>405444
>Anyway if God intended for you to have sex he would not have invented pornography or given you hands
>mfw im a war vet with no pension to pay internet with and no limbs and served 10 tours in 'nam

But hey, do tell about the massage parlor. That sounds like a story.

>>405455
Its a pretty straightforward transaction, give money - receive sex, although technically its more like pay door charge - receive sex - pay girl. And while its all technically illegal the parlors are an open-secret from the bottom to the top, the one I went to being an upmarket example so no risk of being robbed or shanked or busted by an undercover sting operation.

>>405456
Man, I wanted a story...
You know, what it was like, what lead you to it, how you felt I suppose.

But I guess its not something too many people will openly talk about so I understand. But truth be told, I don't think I've met anyone who's ever partaken in a pay service like that so frankly, I'm very curious.

>>405457
The thing is I can barely even recall the specific circumstances. After hearing about the parlors it had been kicking about the back of my mind for a long time then while I felt pleased with my self afterwards nothing about it had been earth-shattering, since as I said sex hasn't ever been that amazing for me. The first girl's name was Kirsty if that helps.

Exchanging money for sex is just like any other professional providing a service, no reason to avoid plain speech when speaking of it.

>>405452
It was a one in two chance. You know I'm not lying when I say you were my second guess.

Who other than you two would post a fox version of the classic potato image?

>>405459

I would’ve posted the potato version. Or, y’know, something else.

>>405457
Not him, but Ive done the same thing. When I'm home from work I can type it up if you want.

I only got a handy at the massage parlor, but I did lose my v-card in an actual whorehouse, so.

>>405475
Sure, that'd be interesting to read.

>>405486
Alright. Word of warning this is gonna be fucking long.

Guess the best place to start is the whorehouse. It was a place a brief drive from Las Vegas, though I didn't drive from there. I drove from near where I live, which I won't disclose, but is not too far outside of Nevada. Prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada, but only in certain counties (oddly enough, it's not legal in Vegas).

Anyway, this was basically my birthday present to myself, did it a few weeks before I turned 22. I had decided to spend my 21st year trying to better myself and really get out there and get a gf, and planned on using my next birthday as a 'deadline.' But even though I did work out more, get out more, and just generally got my shit more together, I never actually succeeded in getting a gf or even a date. So, having decided I was a hopeless case I drove to Nevada during a time nobody would know I was gone, which was a window of a few days. It was actually a pretty enjoyable drive, as I had ac and plenty of music. At a certain point the gps (id gotten the address online and verified by calling) led me onto a dirt path, which eventually widened out into just...desert. Rocks, bushes, all that stuff. But that was the 'road' to get there so I kept driving, this would have been past 11pm at the earliest. It was a really rough ride from that point on (I literally bounced like half a foot off of my seat a few times just from the random sudden declines and rocks) And I kept wondering if my car was going to break down and I'd have to call someone out there, and explain what exactly I was doing. I was following the gps pretty blindly here, as even with he lights on it was so dark I couldn't see more than maybe 30-40 feet ahead. But fuck it, I wanted to get laid.

I almost ran over a rabbit, which was pretty scary. Fucker just ran out right in front of my car.

Anyway, much to my relief I eventually got there after about two hours of the above. It had actually been more thrilling than scary and I enjoyed the last stretch of the drive a lot, it sort of felt like an adventure. The building stood totally alone, though you could see the Vegas lights off in the distance, pavement stretching from there to the building, and about ten feet past the building in the direction I came from.

I sat nervously in my car for a while, maybe 20 minutes. At some point I saw a car drive up coming from the city, and a beautiful woman stepped out and went inside. After a few more minutes I walked up and ring the doorbell. Shortly a very old woman answered the door. I forget exactly what she had asked me, but I think t was mostly security questions (do you have any concealed weapons, where have you come from, etc.). I was eventually let in and sat in the waiting room, which was a pretty large foyer. She returned and asked me what I was looking for, if it was my first time and if I'd like to take the tour or sit in the bar. I forget if I sat in the bar first, but a woman either talked to me in there or walked out and talked to me in the lobby, and offered a tour. So I said yes.

She basically led me down a hall with a bunch of doors, showing me the basic rooms and some of the specialty rooms (s&m room with chains, hot tub room, etc.). She then asked if I'd like to have a room with her or if I'd like to go to the bar and meet other girls as well, and I decided the latter which she looked sort of miffed at. She said tips for tours aren't necessary but are appreciated, so I gave her a twenty. I remember she looked at it like it was nothing and rolled her eyes as she took it, and I got the impression she felt I had wasted her time.

I didn't feel guilty.

At the bar I had a beer while a few woman sat down to talk to me, I believe I was the only guy there at the time (or at least the only one who wasn't in a room already, I'd heard a moan during the tour). One of them asked what kind of women I like, blondes or brunettes, and I was in the mood for a brunette so I said that, and immediately followed with a "no offense" since she was blonde. She laughed and smiled and said it was perfectly fine, that they have women for all tastes and that everybody likes different things. So she asked if I'd like to have all the available girls lineup for me and I said yes. She had me sit in the foyer again while all the girls got ready. After, I don't know, five minutes about twenty women came out and stood to the side of the room wearing nothing but underwear. The old woman, who seemed to be in charge of the place based on the way everyone acted towards her, introduced them one at a time and had them form a line so I could see all of them side by side.

I'd done my research before all of this, both to be prepared and to make sure what I was doing was morally acceptable by my own standards (visiting a legal brothel makes it very unlikely you're paying money to human traffickers or having sex with women who don't choose to be prostitutes, as they're pretty heavily regulated). Some advice is gotten for this part was to only remember the name of one girl at a time, the one who most stood out to you up to that point. I followed this advice and chose a very beautiful woman with black hair and dark skin. I don't know what ethnicity, probably some island race. She had a nice ass and I'd say C cup breasts. She looked like she was in her early twenties.

This is getting long so I'm gonna take a short break before writing up the rest. Sorry if this is more than you asked for, ha.

She led me to one of the standard rooms, which was a bedroom and a connected bathroom with a shower. It looked a lot like a hotel room, but smelled like nice perfume instead of cheap hotel smell. She asked me to take a quick shower and then we discussed activities/rates.

I lied and said that I wasn't a virgin, because I thought if I seemed less desperate she wouldn't charge as much. I did say that I was inexperienced and mostly wanted to learn what I was doing when it came to sex. She said they have a basic package (she didn't phrase it that way) for beginners, and I chose that. I'd tried to get an approximation about rates and stuff before coming, but I'd been told that it varies per woman and that they don't give a price til they meet you. This might be true, but they also tell you they charge by activity, not time, which is a boldfaced fucking lie. There's a time limit and it's based on how much you pay. I don't know if it's cheaper if you only want oral/foreplay, but based on stories I've seen online there's a standard flat rate of $400 for thirty minutes if you actually want to fuck.

Skip the rest of the spoilers if you don't want the dirty details. I got lessons fingering her and playing with her tits, which was great. I tried a few different things and asked her how they felt, and listened to her advice and tried her suggestions. I ended up deciding to skip the bj because I wanted to get straight to fucking at that point. I've still never actually had a bj. For the amount I'd paid I was allowed two positions, and I chose missionary and doggy. I still feel like that's a ridiculous rule but at least I was allowed to switch back and forth between them. I've heard people say guys always try extremely hard their first time, and that was true for me. I was going at her hard enough for things to be shaking on the walls, I heard them even over the loud creaking of the bed (which is such a great sound). The headrest was hitting the wall so hard that at one point an upright dildo on a nearby desk fell over from all the shaking. At first, she had obviously been faking her moans, but by this point she really seemed to be enjoying it.

As the thirty minutes came to a close a phone next to the bed rang, she answered while I was still fucking her and said we were almost done. They called again two minutes later, and she quickly picked up, said almost done, and hanged it back up. After another few minutes they called again, and she picked up and angrily yelled into it that we were nearly done before slamming the phone back. I still remember the 'pinch' from when she came and how great it felt to feel her legs convulse. I Know it's standard procedure to fake an orgasm with a client, but I'm certainI gave her a genuinely great orgasm. It was a fucking amazing experience.

She wasn't able to make me cum though. Or rather, I wasn't able to. Even after she came and said our time was up, and tried to give me a handjob just to finish me off, I wasn't able to. Which is weird, I didn't feel bad at all about what was happening. At least consciously? I think it's mostly in kind of a rough masturbator so J just don't cum unless I get a lot of stimulation, and the 30 minutes hadn't been enough since we'd started out with just practicing foreplay. I remember she looked really angry when she was jacking me off, and I think she was upset she couldn't make me cum. Like t hurt her pride. After a while she said we couldn't keep extending the time and that was that.

I was given a free hotel room for the night in a seperate area of the grounds. A security guard led me outside and to my room. The 'backyard' of the building was a walled in area bigger than the building itself. There was grass and lush plants everywhere, completely different from the outside. You could still see the desert hills and mountains over the wall though. They had done a very good job of crafting this place to look like an oasis, and that's what it felt like.

The security guard was ridiculously built. Like, the kind of muscle that doesn't even look like muscle even more, but like you have stiff bubbles going up and down your arms. He looked like benching 600 pounds would a warm up for him. He was also incredibly shy and timid, and had been very politely asking me if I was enjoying my stay there so far. He didn't make much eye contact and mostly looked at the ground. I don't think he was acting, if he was he was better and more natural than most actors on tv. But you could tell he could throw, literally throw, anyone out the door the second they made trouble. I have never seen anyone who looked as strong as him, even professional bodybuilders.

Anyway, I went to my room, jacked off, and fell asleep. It might sound like a disappointing end but I felt extremely happy. I knew what sex was like! It hadn't been with a person I knew well or loved or anything, but I knew what sex felt like! The great mystery was solved!!! I'd spent so many years wondering and now I finally knew, and it was this huuuuge weight off of my shoulders.

I somehow woke up after like five or six hours of sleep, and did something I hadn't planned on, which was spend the morning in another room with another woman. This cost another $400, and I still can't believe I went through two month's pay in less than 24 hours, but I did. This time we just went straight to sex and I was able to finish. When I asked her if she had any advice after, she said that foreplay is extremely important and I'd need to spend time on that if I was ever with a woman.

We talked as we walked down the hallway to the foyer. I'd found out all the women had to be waken up for my lineup that morning, and she poorly hid a passive aggressive comment about that by laughing about it. The girl from the previous night had been in that lineup as well. I assumed at the time she would understand me picking a different girl just for the sake of variety and having sex with two women instead of one. I sort of feel guilty about it now though, like maybe I was picking someone else because she had 'failed.' But maybe it's best not to feel too much about how she felt, I mean...I don't know.

Anyway, as the woman I'd just had sex with and I were walking down the hallway, she asked me why I was in Vegas, and not bothering to get into details I half lied and said I was in Vegas for my birthday. She guessed if I had just turned 18, and was surprised when I said 22, and she said I looked so young that she felt creepy having sex with me because I looked like a child. I looked at her and could see she immediately regretted saying that, and she changed the subject, but I don't remember to what.

I began the long drive home, washed the desert dirt off my car, and resumed normal life, albeit on a MUCH tighter budget for a while. I've never told anyone about any of this, which is probably why I've gone on for so damn long. When people ask how I lost my virginity I usually just tell them it was with some drunk girl at a party. But I think a lot of people lie about how/when they first had sex so I don't see that as too big of a deal, even if my reasons for lying are different than most. I felt fucking great immediately after and for the next few weeks. On occasion I feel bad about it, especially because if I do ever fall in love and have an actual relationship, I can never tell my SO about this, and Ive always treasured the idea of being in a relationship where you and the person you're with can be totally honest with each other. And I wonder if I sacrificed that by getting a hooker, but then I don't know if that kind of relationship really exists at all, for anyone. The funny thing is, the slight sense of shame I feel toward myself, the fear that one day someone I know will find out about this, and the thought of having sacrificed the possibility of ever having that ideal relationship, and just everything that comes along with all of this, all of that stuff, it doesn't hurt anywhere near as bad as being a virgin did. Not even close.

Ask questions if you want, or if you want me to say anything about the massage parlor I went to much later (I won't type a fucking novel for that one). Or about the horrible experience I had the one other, and last time I tried paying for sex.

I'm done for tonight though, and maybe for tomorrow. I wrote a lot more than I meant to - sorry about that.

>>405495
>>405496
>>405497
That was a surprisingly great read, thanks. You really got me into your head, there.
Really appreciate the in-depthness of it. Yeah, honestly I did want this level of detail cus, like I said, never talked to anyone about this sort of thing.

I'd definitely be interested in hearing bout your other experiences. If other anons here are okay with that - feel free to object, I understand.
(Though, I'd be cool with reading a novel, tbh. This was better than half the schlock I read half the time... LOOKIN' AT YOU, DAVID BALDACCI.)

I'm reading too - definitely dig the detail and your recounting, anon so feel free to keep going by me.
This is absolutely new territory to me so I'm all ears. Eyes. Whatever.

>>405496
400 dollarydoos for 30 minutes of screwing? Jesus Christ you Americans aren't fucking the girl, she's fucking you!

Twilight is the fucking best! It's very bright outside, and everything is still perfectly visible, but you can look absolutely everywhere, without risking seeing the sun and OWWW YOU FUCKING YELLOW CIRCLE OF PAIN YOU HURT MON VISAGE

>>405502
Nice.

>>405503
>Twilight is the fucking best!
For a second there, I thought you were talking about //youtube.com/watch?v=S35c9igr32M

↑

>>405504
Youtube URL plugin on +4 takes off the time skip. Start at 0:34

>>405499
>>405498
Alright. I won't type it up tonight or tomorrow but some point over the next few days I will. Think I should make another thread or just post it here?

>>405500
Yeah it's ridiculous. The place I was seemed pretty upscale, but that's the price you pay for legality.

>>405511
Just posting here's fine. I don't think there's much objection.

>>405518

It's what the thread is here for, really.

If you can't tell if the animator/illustrator is a boobs or an ass person, they aren't doing their job right.

Or maybe they are doing their job right. I don't know.

Harry Partridge makes his preference very obvious though.

>>405522
I'm of the opinion that unless you set out to make an intentionally sexy work, you really shouldn't let your horn get the better of you. No need to have all the ladies in bombastic pin uppy poses and outfits in a comic for kids or girls, for example.

Some people I've talked about this to think its obvious but its a trope I've come across very frequently.

Now, if you wanna make something provocative or give it some kinky elements, sure. Let yourself shine through.

I just listened to some music I made in Fruity Loops when I was 14 (protip: im not a musician) and while sure it didn't sound very good, it literally feels like needles are pricking into my arms, fingers and neck when I listen to it. Like, in a "go see a fucking doctor" painful way.

It does make me appreciate my newer, visual art a bit more though.

At what point does one stop "trying to make something good happen for once" and start Being Selfish?
Is it when you're hurting someone even if they don't know it?
Can't my happiness come first? For once?

holy fuck I think Ghost from TCR is back for real, not a scam parody
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ghost/2016/03/25/true-capitalist-radio-hosted-by-ghost--episode-227

When I write huge walls of speculation about cartoons I like, it can feel like I'm eating from this big pan of speculation-fodder lasagna and not leaving enough slices for everyone else.

>>405568
I feel like that as well AMIRITE?

But seriously, I have a friend who says "lawl" in full life conversation. It's a little bit annoying, yes.

I decided to give Morel Orel a shot.

Smoking crack by the third episode? Nice.

>>405575

Just wait until you get to the third season.

>>405576
Fuggin S1 Christmas finale tho.
not gonna lie, I kinda like some downer endings like in Stanley's Cup, but damn that one got me good.
Maturity is a great ep. Currently on S2E6

But what about that really embarassing thing you did back in high school?

>>405579
Highschool was hell for me, I gave up on life around that time.

I don't have the fucking patience for anything right now. Everything is shitty and frustrating.

Goddamn I haven't been here in ages. Always feels weird coming back to website you used to spend tons of time on.

>>405587
Close your eyes, and force yourself to not think of anything (even thinking about thinking) for 5 minutes.

There is no other way. Speaking from experience here.

>>405589
Yo! It's pretty bad now. Like, worse than before.

>>405591
I'm new enough not to know Discordia, but I know enough to agree.

HOPE YOU DIDN'T LIKE /DRAW/ OR /DURP/

Moments when you get lost in thought are beautiful things.

>>405576
Oh jesus that is some mood whiplash. I was warned and I'm cool with it, but still, its not even half comedy anymore. Wow.

not an episode spoiler: I can't get over the fact that its the VA of Sandy Cheeks saying "Crack, Hooray!" and shit. Voice actors doing both adult and children shows are my odd interest.

>>405594

Did you see “Alone” yet? Because that’s the episode what got the show cancelled—in spite of it being, in terms of tone, everything [adult swim] asked for.

>>405591
"Remember when /baw/ was good?"
"/baw/ was never good."

>>405595
Yeah, I can see why. I know there's the whole chronology jumble but I can't see the significance of that episode. It was just dark drama.

>>405596
Yeah but /baw/ didn't used to heavily feature Slowpoke heavily defending racism and misogyny or others openly engaging in such.

It just, ya know, occasionally got attacked by Russian spambots.

>>405604

>I can't see the significance of that episode

Ms. Censordoll’s part of the episode set up a storyline for the remainder of Season Three that would’ve been much more in-depth had [as] not cancelled the show and cut the number of episodes down, and Nurse Bendy’s part of the episode was meant (in part) to be a setup for the events of "Dumb". So…characterization and worldbuilding, really.

>>405607
r e k t

>>405605
>he takes politics thread seriously
>blames others for the downfall of plus4

>>405616
Let's keep arguments concerning +/pol/ in +/pol/.

>>405606
Got to the last episode.

You could tell it was truncated (especially with the fucking weird egg stuff) but the final half minute was what the series needed.

I've never been a fan of later seasons in any show

I have found it. The best tumblr evar.
http://k-eke.tumblr.com/

>>405619
Sure thing, harrassment enabler.

Time for Whorestory 2 Electric Boogaloo. Unnecessary detail abounds, but you guys seemed to like that last time so whatever.

This is the time I went to a massage parlor, which was about half a year after my trip to Nevada. I'd been in the area of the city a few weeks prior running an errand, and after doing so had decided to go into some random small restaurant to have lunch. It wasn't a chain or a place I'd ever heard of, and none of the employees seemed to know English but I just pointed at what I wanted from the menu. It was the kind of place you might drive by a million times but never really take notice of or see anyone go into. Just part of a row of random stores like laundromats or specialty places like window stores or an army surplus shop. It was Mexican, okay but a bit overpriced. While I was eating I looked across the street and saw a place with a sign outside saying "20 dollar foot message" and a sign in lights on the window saying "MASSAGE" and it just looked so shady. You just had to look at it to know intuitively it was a sketchy place. I knew I'd be back in the area in a few weeks and made a note of what street it was on so I'd be able to find it again.

So the time comes and I park my car at the meter, and I walk a few blocks down to where the place is. On my way there I saw a kinda fat guy who reminded me of my history teacher at the time, to the point I got a little scared and thought it was actually him at first, as if someone I knew seeing me in the area would give away what I was doing. He was wearing a pretty nice suit and he looked like he was in a hurry and didn't want to be looked at. There was a brief moment where we looked at each other and I felt like I knew he had just been to the massage parlor and he knew that I knew and he knew that I was going there.

I still believe I was right about that, but who knows whether or not I was just projecting or actually being intuitive.

Anyway, I walk in and this Chinese woman who looks about 50 stands up from behind the register and says hello in a heavy accent. She asks if I'm there for a massage and I say yes. I mention the sign outside and she says the deal on the foot massage is only for people who get a full body massage as well. So I say I'd like to get a full body message, which was 40 bucks. I'm led into the first room just down the short hall by the counter. I'm told to undress and wait on the massage table. I strip to my underwear, unsure if I should leave it on or not, I was still here only on suspicion after all. I set my clothes on top of a stool, making sure the pants with my belongings were on the bottom, pockets covered, so I'd be less likely to be pick pocketed while I was there.

I sit on the table when a different Chinese woman comes in, this one probably in her late thirties or early to mid forties. She points at my underwear and says "Off." So I took off my boxers, set them on the clothes pile and laid down on the table. She told me to flip so I did, and she started with a back/shoulder massage. I really don't remember too much about the massage but it was...okay? It didn't feel good, like she was pushing rather than rubbing. Sometimes she would just lift and then drop my arms and legs. But I know some massages aren't meant to feel good while you get them and are just meant to be good for you, so you don't get stiff later or something like that. I wasn't sure if I was getting a shitty massage or if Chinese massages are just focused more on the medical side. I think it was just a mediocre massage but I'm still not 100% sure.

Anyway, after enough time passes she has me flip over and starts massaging my front, going up my legs and to my stomach/chest before going back down. This whole time the lights were dimmed, and I think I remember some soft music playing, like the kind of music you might find if you just type "relaxing music" into a search engine, that kind of slow, pleasant but clearly amateur full-of-chimes kind of music. I think there was also incense, but it might have just been the smell of the massage oil she had been using, which smelled quite perfumey.

One thing that had been kind of stressing me during this whole time was that the parking meter was still running and would be out soon. I tried explaining this to her but she didn't speak enough English, so she got the other woman. While she was getting her I heard them talking loudly outside, like they were trying to figure out what was wrong on their own and were having some kind of miscommunication problem amongst themselves, for some reason. Eventually the older woman comes in and I try explaining to her about the meter. She doesn't get it either so she gets the other woman to come in too, and I'm trying to explain it to both of them. I eventually figured out the older woman knew what 'car' meant and we were able to figure it out from there. She offered to go pay for more time on the meter while I stayed to get the second part of my massage. So then I explained what my car looked like and where it was, which was another issue. I said I could just go pay for it but they seemed to not want me to leave. This all took like half an hour of communicating between languages.

Anyway, I lay back down and we get back to the massage. At some point she points to my dick and says "Sucka?" I say yes and she says "Forty dollar, okay?" and I say okay.

She starts giving me a handjob, and...well that's pretty much it, she was rubbing my dick for like five minutes. She starts saying "cum" or "hurry" or something like that after a while, so I try to hurry things along and eventually cum. Honestly it hadn't been great, I mean it was okay I guess and I knew what getting a handjob from someone besides myself was like now, but honestly it's not like she was great at it. Maybe I should've tried to explain what "sucka" actually meant but I just let her do her thing, since she clearly thought it meant handjob. (I've learned from reading online that this place actually only gives HJs, at least for the people who were reviewing the place in a forum post on some site I found dedicated to these kinds of places). She made this really telegraphed sounding "Ooh, very good" when I finished. She cleaned me up and I got ready to go.

When I got to the front desk I realized I owed $80 and only had like $50 or $60 on me. Yes I know I'm an idiot.

Anyway, I was able to pay for the massage with my card and used $40 in cash to pay for the 'tip' for getting the special massage. I was kinda worried about the payment so I almost paid an additional time with my card without realizing, but the older woman stopped me. She'd actually stopped me from paying them twice. Which I just think is crazy good customer service for that kind of place, I mean I really would've expected this sort of establishment to rip someone off the moment they get a chance but hey. Anyway, they talk with me by the counter a little bit, and eventually start saying how handsome I am, and the older one says she thinks I'll come back one day.

Anyway, the meter had been paid so there was no problem there. I drove home and took a shower so I wouldn't smell like cheap perfume. The oil had also left me feeling kind of sticky all over, not much but definitely enough that I wanted to bathe right away.

The drive home I mostly just thought about how surreal it was for such a place to exist in the city it did. It was sort of a revelation to me about how much goes on in normal, average cities and towns. Just the fact that places like these exist across the U.S. still sort of blows my mind. It makes me wonder how much more we don't see, how much different types of crime actually happen in totally pedestrian towns and cities where everything seems normal. How many of these little shops you always drive by and never see anyone visit are legit or are actually a front for something else.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I had paid $80 for everything in the end. I haven't gone back. Don't know if I'll ever set foot in one of these kinds of places again, but I guess we'll see.

If people are still interested I'll type up the last story at some point in the next few days.

>>405627
better. that thread was created to keep shit out of this thread

>>405628
>>405629
Definitely interesting, yeah. That actually sounds somewhat pleasant as a whole. But that could be just me, considering I'm rather contact-deprived. (I just got an advance for a thing that might go somewhere. Yes, yes, I'm quite lucky, but shutting oneself in an apartment to hammer it out isn't exactly a social activity.)

Honestly, if I could, I'd go for one of those, if anything just so I can just have a new experience.

>/aco/ thread
>find picture
>both girls' faces are very similar to ex-crush
ouch

>>405616
Nobody should take the politics thread seriously. It's all buzzwordbait.

>>405631
>>405629
>>405628
Man, I'm not even gonna try that. I'm just gonna go out for a spa day - if I O from a hot stone treatment, man, so be it.

All this talk in the thread of paid sex makes me interested in hearing of a female perspective, as in a woman who paid for it not selling it as you might first assume. It seems a rarer circumstance sure but it must happen sometimes, be it either heterosexually and homosexually.

>>405643
On the site of the brothel in the first story I put up each woman would write a description about herself, and one of the things they'd specify was if they would have sex with a woman. So there's a market for lesbians, though I have no idea how big it is. There was also mentions about 'couples', so I guess sometimes a man and woman go together if that counts.

>>405685
Jeez, it's just upvotes on 4chan. Don't take it seriously

>>405688
That is only if you have 4chanX, which I do not have.

>>405689
I have it but it's not working :/
I might have neutered it years ago when inline started working

Why the fuck can I not just listen to YouTube in the background while browsing the Internet on a mobile device?

Is this only an iPhone problem?

>>405694
Nope. Android too. Its a problem to myself as well. I like listening to asmr videos when I go to sleep, but I can't just shut off the screen.

>>405694
>listening to YT
>not having a huge ass music collection of your very own

>>405702
fuck off Twister

>>405716
I love you too.

>>405702
>implying iDevices were ever made for music

Whoops. Happy April Fools, everyone!

(The joke was that I pretended to know what I was doing.)

>>405725
It was better that way.

>>405727
I went to page 1 (the second page), which showed up, and tried to post during the whiteout but got Internal Error. What a shame.

I liked it though. Good job Moose.

>musician is part of a group
>he posts a song on his own page, "free download"
>links to the group's "name your price" album
How do I interpret this: musician baiting us into paying for it, or convincing us not to pay?

>>405757

If it’s an NYP album on Bandcamp, you can usually put "0" as the price and go straight to the download page.

>>405758
Yes, it's one of those, but it seems to me as if the musician may be implicitly saying "don't pay for it".

>>405758
I believe you should always pay something. Even if that something is as small as one cent.

Well now I'm writing a sex worker comic thanks to your storydumps, anon.
Maybe something'll come of it.

>>405763
will it be a comedy?

>>405762
Go Denmark?

>>405767
It'll be lighthearted for sure, yeah. Ideally.
Who knows when Slipshine's gonna open up to applications, right?

>>405762
None taken.

>>405771
I only get it when I need sleep for an important occasion.

>>405763
Honestly the idea of anything I wrote inspiring someone to do something is pretty fucking cool, so thanks for letting me know. When you finish I'd like to see what you made if you don't mind posting a link.

I'll probably post the third and final story sometime over the next few days. Though as a word of warning this one will be fairly depressing, so if you're trying to make something lighthearted you might want to skip it.

>>405776
Sure thing. It's not exactly what you've written down yourself, but its made me consider the a brothel a good writing subject at least.

As the norm with writing, I'll do a story outline before anything else, so I could show you that before I work on anything else.
And I mean, no worries about the last story. Hell, my response to being exposed to sad stuff is usually make something upbeat in response!

>>405780
I started Prequel out of curiosity because Katia kept getting shipped with my waifu.

Does anyone else have this thing where if you see a commercial/preview of a cartoon or comic, you assume the main characters are secondary characters?

>>405788
The last thing? Never.

Unrelated. To have a very warm cat take a nap on your lap, is a thing one must experience to understand.

>>405778
>As the norm with writing, I'll do a story outline before anything else, so I could show you that before I work on anything else.
Sure.

Actually, should we just make a /projects/ thread? I know there are other people here who like to write and draw. Having a little circle of constructive criticism and sharing progress on stuff we're all working on could be kind of nice.

>>405816

Don’t we have /coc/ for that?

>>405817
Yeah but /coc/ and /draw/ are both pretty dead. I just figured a thread here would be more active.

>>405818
Or you could just make a thread on the board dedicated to it (so that it isn't dead) and tell people about it here.

>>405825
>if you post content on a dead board it will be less dead
This nigga is up to something.

>>405832
That can be easily handwaved by "Doc was wrong that one time".

>twenty more minutes left before I have to go to work
>not enough time to start doing something
>too much time to leave early
The worst kind of limbo.

>>405835
welcome to 4chan-derivative

>>405838
I was trying to find a children's song about a cowboy donkey and DuckDuckGo's first "page" of hits included two links to a guy fucking a donkey.

That's just the risk you run when you disable filtering, I guess.

>>405842
Sure thing. With me though, I just didnt realise the possible misinterpretation of my query.

A while ago I tried to find an image of the skittles tag line "Taste the rainbow". Got pony porn.
And by the way, any cartoon character will likely bring up deviant deviantart content.

I swear, more people think I either died or dropped off the Internet than apparently know about my Tumblr or Twitter.

>>405857
I saw you on twitter the other day! That was neat.

I'm starting to think of the current namefriends on +4 to be like teachers in a school. You don't expect to see them anywhere else.

>>405897

>I have never had such a low opinion of you.

Oh, don’t worry. You’ll have an even lower opinion of me in time.

>>405898
lol you missed

>>405900

If I’d wanted that reply in that thread, I would’ve put it there.

>>405901
You're a horrible liar dude, you lied in that thread, you're lying now. This shit is Jeb Bush level of pathetic.

>>405902

Jeb? You’re gonna insult me by comparing me to a Bush, and you don’t even have the goddamned common courtesy to go full Dubya? Talk about pathetic…

>>405898
I sincerely doubt that. Anything you do from here on out is just tacking some extra badges of deplorability, and serves to do nothing but enforce the idea that you deserve no amount of respect.

>>405906

You say that as if I’ve ever deserved respect. Nobody respects me; I don’t even respect me.

>>405902
Eh. Lying's not that bad.

Can we pretend those two are talking about MRA shit or something so they can get back to their thread?

Take it to the other thread if you feel the need to continue.

In other news, I am now allowed to enter relaxation mode. Feels good, but it hasn't quite hit yet.

Family dog died. Pretty surreal to look at a corpse and just think "yeah, he's dead" and feel nothing, while my sister has a nervous breakdown next to me. Wasn't nearly as bad as when my own dog died, for me at least; there's something disturbing about a body being so cold.

>>405908
How is lying not that bad? Lying can lead to some pretty horrible stuff. Unless you mean white lies

Stone moved to this thread to keep the shitflinging out of the politics thread and encourage actual conversation in it, MRA anons are taking advantage of the chink in the armor, these two things are not hard to parse.

>"Ok, I've got this bunch of porn ready for next time I feel horny."
>"Wait, this new stuff is good porn!"
>Use new porn I found, including finding some new stuff.
>"Ah. Wait, I didn't use my old porn AND I found some new stuff, I guess I'll have to keep this too."
>160 tabs open

>>405919
Such is life.

>>405919
Yeah, it's terrible when you build up a massive porn backlog.

>>405911
My condolences, anon.

>>405919
This is why I always save something I enjoy, whether I'm gonna use it immediately or not.

And that's how I have 500GB of porn.

>>405919
>>405922
I have a text document full of links on one of my computers--pretty sure half of them are dead at this point, but, y'know.
>>405913
+/pol/ is a containment thread. Keep its trash in there.
>>405911
I'm sorry, anon. I hope you're not doing the thing where you feel nothing at first but then it starts haunting you two weeks later and stays with you for months. I do that a lot.

>>405932
Ur a cheeky cunt, m8

a springtime reminder: http://www.homestarrunner.com/2manyknives.html

I wonder if anyone's drawn oxygen getting DP'd by two hydrogens.

One of the few things in this world that really make me happy is seeing simple-minded people have their mind blown.

I grin instantly.

I am afraid humanity would collectively give away their freedom, in exchange for convenience.

>>405967
I was thinking on a larger, more fantastical scale. Like, you will always have food on your table, but only if you get it on Tuesday morning, and walk at a steady 5 miles per hour to the store.

Or, you will always be strong, but you could only get strong at a specific gym, only on Thursdays, and only using equipment provided by THIS company.

Or, you will never go deaf, but ONLY if you listen to this particular type of music which you may not even like.

Or, you will never go blind, but you'll only be able to see green, blue, and yellow.

>>405968
I would do most of those things, yes.

>>405971
Joke's on you, the human eye does not operate like a computer monitor.

>>405973
If you are referring to how the eye's photoreceptors consist of rods as well as RGB cones, I will exploit an impromptu loophole; that I would be able to see (detect) all shades of each red, green and blue (separately), hence replicating our normal trichromatic sight. Sure, it bastardises your scenario beyond its meaning, but even as Anon I refuse to believe I cheated poorly.

If you are referring to a different aspect of human sight, then I want to learn what it is. I'm kinda interested.

>>405970
Which ones? The food one seems great (free food, stockpile once a week), gym seems reasonable because one day a week fitness for a twig like me is a great bargain, deafness seems ok as long as you aren't limited to only that music (ie its like a medication, you get a daily dose), and not seeing red, orange and violet could be much worse but is pretty bad due to red's importance in society.

>>405968
That's some deep metaphysical shit man, you should write a dystopian novel.

Actually wait don't, I'll write the novel and be famous instead.

>>405974
Wouldn't do the gym one (I like working out, I want to do it more than once per week), and I'm iffy on the blind one. Colorblindness at the benefit of never ever going actually blind. I'd have to think about it for quite a while.

>>405966
You mean like they do with their decisions regarding computer technology?

>>405968
Oh. The first and last one aren't too bad since you're not really made to be brand loyal. The first one kind of depends on a few things. Though not all that compelling either. Do I get the food for free? Am I actually prevented form getting food in other ways? How fast to I run out if I miss it? Would I be automatically used to walking five miles an hour as if I always did it? Overall, I'm not really wanting for food as it is, and am in fact more concerned with preventing what I do have from going to waste, so whatever.

As for anti-blindness, I think this would really only be helpful if I wanted to make a career out of doing something rally nasty to my eyes and getting away with it. otherwise I can probably just bank on being able to get cyborg eyes in a few decades from now if I go blind by then, and that's if I expect to to begin with.

>>405985
Its difficult to make an educated decision with these brief descriptions. Maybe this is the only time I'll want to see the ToC

>>405987
Your life will be forever limited that way. You will be safe, but never allowed to live freely, or to the fullest.

>fanart crossovers between works with no connection
why? at least include a lame pun

>>405994
Double the views = double the $$$

>dont like seeing guys in porn so most of the videos I have are one-on-one, roleplay-ish videos, not for the RP, but because they are usually less boring
>they either talk about my wife/gf (I dont have either), my stepmother or mother (no Oedipus complex) or are degrading (not arousing)
well, at least its not a penis. I'll probably stick to cartoon porn

>>406010
>well, at least its not a penis.
Don't knock it 'til you try it, bud.

>>406010
I pretty much exclusively watch lesbian and solo stuff because so much of the stuff in porn turns me off.

Even with lesbian stuff it's hard to find anything good. Such is life.

>>406010
>stepmother or mother (no Oedipus complex)
Right.

No worries, you're among friends! I even illustrate a porn magazine with that in mind, if you'd like a look.

>>406010

I feel like we should have another sex/fetish thread at this point.

>>406012
same boat as you anon.

>that girl in most lesbian videos who is blatantly gay-for-pay and not enjoying it
ugh

>>406013
Damn right. I have my fair share of odd fetishes which I happily admit to as Anon, but incest is not one of them. plus I think my mom is a bit ugly
But you have mentioned your porn before. What kind of stuff is it?

>>406014
I think I tried bumping it but got 500 internal error. I'll try again.

>>406015
Consider Sweetheart Video, Girl Candy Films, and Abby Winters.

You'll thank me later.

>>406015
>But you have mentioned your porn before. What kind of stuff is it?
Me, I personally do super vanilla stuff. Just regular old girl-on-girl, pin ups.
But I do get commissioned to do an incest and age-difference based illustrations for stories. There's a thread on /pco/ - Dimension H.

And usually incest kinks aren't about wanting to Freud your own momma. There's an element of voyeurism to it!

>>406029
When I meditate, I just think of nothing. And see nothing.

>>406031
>there's an element of voyuerism!
"hey mom, wanna /ss/?"

about three years ago I made "ss" autocorrect to ß. Whoops

>all these people saying "I've been drawing every day since the second grade" or some other hobby they've done since childhood
I'm just a cluster of interests and strengths, not passions.
I haven't become especially good at a single thing, which seems a bit daunting in terms of persuing a career. And the careers if like are very competitive.

Maybe I'll be able to get a midpoint job between my interest and my strength that specialists won't get.

>artist begs for critque
fuckin A
>ignores almost all of it, instead justifying why he did it the way he did
...

>>406046
so... artists should just be quiet and never ask for critique ever

>>406047
literally no. I'm saying they should attempt to take it into consideration instead of ignoring its value.

I don't mean a silly critisism or an invalid one, I mean like when the artist uses "my style" to explain a fundamental flaw that is clearly not style related. It's like when dobson got pressured into asking for critique, you know? They are asking for something and then ignoring it completely.

>>406047
Wow

>>406045
Yes, let's make English more complicated.

>>406051
If there's a genuine need for a letter I think we should add it. Same for getting rid of useless letters like "c".

>>406013
>if you'd like a look
Yeah sure.

http://radiooooo.com/

Neat.

The power of metal can fight the forces of darkness.

>>406056
>Yeah sure.
http://dimensionhcomics.tumblr.com/tagged/dimension-h
have fun!

//youtube.com/watch?v=h5odmZ9cS4Y

A Owl cafe in Japan. Where you can buy an owl.

Pre-emotive apology for the /adv/-tier comment but sometimes I just wish I was dead so fucking much so I just would not have to cope with being alive.

When I see this comment later I'll regret having made it. But I fucking hate myself so fuck it.

Fuck God. Fuck life. Fuck me. I want to die but I don't want to die. God I wish everything could just stop.

The older I gett the more like I feel I'm losing my mind.


Is this mormalz?

Do everyday normal people think reality TV cooking shows are real, or do they suspend disbelief for the sake of entertainment? "Oh no, we forgot to buy the core ingredient of our dish!" "Whoops, we forgot to time how long our dish was in the oven!"

It's like thinking porn is realistic. How?

>>406080
Have you ever been in a high-stress kitchen environment?
As someone who's worked in kitchens during catering time and times of extremely high demand (oh there was a power outage in the next city over so 50 hungry electricians just showed up at once, can you manage by yourself Slowpoke?), situations like that are highly realistic.

eight more years until I earn enough youtube dosh to be allow to withdraw it.

damn $100 minimum limit

>>406080
Some porn is realistic.

>>406097
Fursuits are not realistic.

While spilling a cider on my keyboard, I was reminded of the book Fantastic Mr Fox, in which a significant portion of the plot and even a song is dedicated to alcoholic apple cider, in a kids book. Brave.

>>406113
Authors always write for themselves, and then tone down for a specific audience, if needed.

All fiction is made by adults. Exceptions are exceptions, most 12 year olds cannot write for shit.

>>406116
Speaking from experience I see.

>>406116
Yeah, that makes sense. It just strikes me as funny the way he specifies it's alcoholic. The way he describes it makes me think he's saying "alcohol is magical stuff, kiddo!" Australia is mostly pretty anal about teen content censorship, so I'm always entertained by taboo content in children/teen media.

Now I've decided to reread it (I have an old copy).
>"We take [cider] as medicine - one larger glass [four] times a day."
>the youngest kid starts drinking homebrew liqueur
Now that I think about it, Roald Dahl was generous with his (what some may call) "bad influences"; there are multiple books that justify theft/poaching, at least two bring up alcoholism, and I remember one has a young kid driving a car at night down the main road. I am not criticising, I am just surprised my mother would let me read them.

you ever wonder why you're friends with your friends

>>406146
one of my current friends was a complete douchebag to me in primary. slapped me in the face for no reason and made a hate website. he's all good now though

>>406147
oh. cool. you actually get along with a friend of yours.
me, i wonder what thats like

Spring has come once again, and the plants are once again performing bukkakke in our faces.

>meet cute girl online
>arrange to meet up
>she has to cancel on account of her grandfather is in hospital, and will never come out again
>send her texts, letting her know that it's okay, and we can talk if she wants to
>nothing
>go to bed
>suddenly, my phone decides to show me the texts I recieved from her 40 minutes ago, asking if we can talk
>reply at once, saying I'd like that
>no reply

God damn it, why does my phone have such fucking awful reception unless I climb two flights of stairs?

>>406160
If she is destined to be your gf of choice, perhaps bad reception will not stop you (plural you)!

>stumble into someone who is WRONG on the Internet
>give them a nice fat LOW RATING
>it doesn't do anything, since 99% of other people think they're right
Makes you feel powerless, doesn't it?

Hey guys, I hope none of you where fans of Prince.

http://www.tmz.com/2016/04/21/prince-dead-at-57/

http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/7341522/prince-dead

And WWE star Chyna too.

http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/15285463/1990s-wwe-wrestling-star-chyna-dies-age-46-california


As per the norm I will bame Stan Lee for these deaths.

My little brother has been sick for awhile, just found out today. Family said the doctors aren't sure why so he's getting blood tests done.

>>406173
Oh no. My dream girl...

I wonder if "kingdom" is a special kind of porn where the king dominates everyone.

>>406186
>fandom
i'll fund it

Why does nothing ever go smoothly? Fuck being an adult. I don't want to deal with all this shit anymore.

>>406192
Victory through persistence.

Just wanted to drop by and wish you all a good week!

Also, nobody's perfect. So try and be excellent in what you do, but understanding with others.

>>406214
Thank you

>>406215
bump your dreams thread

>>406248
Tumblr is what you make of it. If you only follow certain blogs or block certain tags, you can get a lot of it with no skin off your nose.

You gotta make an effort to get content you like, but its worth it.

>>406258

Pretty much this. You can avoid the festering piles of radioactive fandom waste and the insanity of super-SJW bullshit if you curate your dashboard feed well enough.

>>406258
>>406259
This. I have an FA account and the worst thing there is a person who keeps posting about his streams being online

>>406248
Tumblr only gives you things you specifically ask for, if something you don't like shows up on your dashboard you only have youself to blame.

>>406262

And even then, there are still browser plugins like XKit and Tumblr Savior that can help block all the shit you don't want to see from the people you do follow.

Seems like everything is in italics now.

A E S T H E T I C

Yey, I made a purchase online without asking for help. For some reason I seemed to be really hesitant to do that before? Also, my current credit card has been expired for months but thankfully I have a pair of Visa gift cards and it actually worked online despite them not doing so before. Also, a few hours left on the Humble Bundle I bought: https://www.humblebundle.com/books/no-starch-hacking-books?

>artist comes into thread and says "hey guys stop pirating my paycomics"
lets see how this goes down

>>406323
What artist? I'm curious...

I wonder if getting all those llama spammers on DA is my karma-shmarma for not drawing anything finished for two months.

If yes, then I deserve it.

>>406324
Angrboda, does a lot of furry TF. No-one's responded to him yet though.

I can't get over that /d/ thread in which BlackShirtBoy was posting in and then an anon comes and dumps his entire paycomic.

I fucking love imageboards.

I don't know why but flea markets depress the shit out of me

Last night I got woken up at like three in the morning by cats fucking outside my house.

Cats are so loud when they fuck, and it is a horrible noise that is the stuff of nightmares.

Reality is not your prison, but your home.

I just realised that anything can be made to sound deep if you say it vaguely enough.

>>406376
What you typed is not vague enough, and therefore sounds shallow.

>>406377
Detail diminishes meaning.

>>406378
No.

>>406378
If you honestly believe that, you are dumber than all your posts make you out to be.

>>406389

Pretty much, yeah.

Speaking of anonymity, Tor metrics are pretty interesting; apparently Italy is one of the biggest users, and there is at least one person using it in Antarctica. Hopefully not for cheese pizza.

Sources:
http://geography.oii.ox.ac.uk/?page=tor
https://metrics.torproject.org/userstats-relay-country.html?start=2016-02-03&end=2016-05-03&country=aq&events=off

>>406389
If this is the real slim shady, I prefer the impostors. and even if this is just a playful vent, I'll rebut it anyway

>both are terrible things that help nobody and accomplish nothing.
This is one of the stupidest things I have read in SYM. People who use the name feature for legitimate purpose (ie. not attention whoring) are beneficial to their threads, and anonymous culture (not only on 4chan) is an extremely liberating tool for communication. It encourages honestly, catharsis, freedom (to a degree) and equality. And entertainment.

>>406418
After the fall of East Germany, the Stasi records of citizens became open to the public, so they could see what files their government had on them. I wonder if any Western countries will ever do the same thing in regards to mass surveillance.