/md/ - Murder Drones

Ah sweet, this is definitely useful

please clean up when you’re done

So, did it work?

ya

>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
>I pray to Shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given
>"Shrek is love" I say; "Shrek is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it's really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It's Shrek
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear "This is my swamp."
>He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Shrek
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>Shrek looks him straight in the eyes and says "It's all ogre now."
>Shrek leaves through my window
>Shrek is love.
>Shrek is life.

testing

Alr let me see if this green I wrote on my phone works

P1/?
>Be you Skitarii alpha from delta theta decima. Former scion of house Aizis
>You were disowned after failing the ritual of becoming and sent off to the forgeworld as part of the bi-centurial tide
>Tradition dictates that failed knight pilots are to become officers in the Skitarii maniples
>You are a devout member of the cult mechanicus the will of the ominissiah is bestowed unto you by you superiors. The tech priests
>You were sent to relief your homeword of Aizis from a daemonic incursion.
>You are content to follow the instructions from god beamed into you head as you board one of the first Archeopters to make planetfall f
>Your familiarity with the local culture and terrain had you chosen as one of the path finders
>You are accompanied by 4 of your men, two techpriests, a kastelan and two sicarians.
> As you pierce the planet's ashen atmosphere you are overcome by a purple light, the archeopter’s sensors wail and the veteran pteraxi wired into the cockpit foams at the mouth.
> You brace for impact; order your squad to do the same then close your audio-video receptors
>
>Nothing
>You feel nothing, no feedback from your augmetics, no minor phantom pain or tugs from your implants. You feel as though you are weightless even though your gyro sensors haven’t reported changes in the gravitic at all.
>Then you feel as if you are in free fall
>You mag lock yourselves to the floor
>A sicarian and a skitarii are pinned by the weight of the kastelan that was proppled back
>The data smith calmly makes his way to the flyers command console and beckons the flyer’s machine spirit to maintain altitude.
> You gaze from the door window and your worst fears are not realized
> While the world you are on now is not Aizis you are glad you aren’t lost to the warp.
> You pass this intel to the dominus through the flyer’s local noosphere
> Data from its sensors indicate that this planet has terran standard gravity; air deadly to the unaugmented and freezing temperatures likely caused by permanent cloud cover.
>The dominus, a wayside shrine on legs with a cogitatior bank on his back and a gene-hanced claw arm thuds over to the pilot and injects him with a bio-alchemical concoction
>Just in time as you spy a small figure cloaked by cloud cover.
>The veteran pteraxii manuvers the aircraft so your line of sight is maintained.
>You signal your squad of the potential threat as you project you vid feed unto them
>You feel the craft move abruptly the figure matches your agility, archopters are used to fly inside the spires on forge worlds, so agility is one of their strengths
> The figure draws closer; you can tell its humanoid in shape; you spy what looks like two bladed hands.
>The pilot turns the craft and fires a burst of warning shots
>You can tell that thing wasn’t deterred as you feel the craft trying to reposition itself
> A burst of rounds scratches the sanctified murals on the flyers hull, while the nano-carbon control surfaces simply stretch and bounce incoming fire
>You can see the figure clearly now, Its artificial and has some semblance to the sacred human form but its appearance seems to be of Zenos origin, lacking any common features found in a standard template constructs
>The pilot opens the door on your side and you ready your squad and unleash a volley of galvanic rounds at the target
>The construct expertly out manoeuvres your shots; only one hits its mark
>It stops mid air to flinch in pain, one of its legs hungs limp and charred
> You size the opportunity and order your squad to bring it down.
>Unfortunately while you were distracted it seems another interceptor was dispatched to your presence. You can hear the front stubbers as they fire.
> Then you feel a thud and the flyer shakes
> You glimpse a glowing injector trailing across the other door window.
> A strangely human and friendly voice taunts you from the other side of the hull, your internal cogitators find some vague semblance to Praetorian low gothic but are unable to translate
> The sicarians ready themselves then the doors open and they climb up
> You and your squad stand a bit back from the doorways, and you ready yourselves to give covering fire.
> The pilot tries to shake the boarder off
> You have visual on it
>But it just hovers
> As you point your phosphor pistol at it, you spot a disappointed expression on its face
> A sicarian charges into it
> That thing was occupied in whirling melee with one of the sicarians, you augmented vision can not keep up with them
> When the creature was pushed back you correctly predict it was going to reengage.
> A spray of glowing blue toxic chemicals intercepts its flight path.
>White flames lick at its coat and joints as it emits a womanly scream. It dives down it an attempt to put out the flames. Your squad’s bullets follow its descent.
>You see that first construct from the corner of your vision, its leg white instead of charred.
> Perhaps enraged, it’s more aggressive than before
> It rams that sicarian of the flyer’s wing then it turns a crossed visor towards you.
> Your now unsheathed you power sword crackles blue.
> It reacts by charging up a directed energy weapon
> A glowing yellow, stream of particles narrowly misses your neck. But the kastelan isn’t so lucky.
>Molten metal streaks down its armour is not white with paint splatters like the typical kastelan from your forge world. Its paint job invokes an idealised matrian appearance, different shades of red are used to highlight its pannels and mechanisms.
> Apparently the datasmith recovered it during an expedition to the Librarius Omnis, the great library underneath the surface of Mars
>Uncaring, that molten globs of metal are searing his form the datasmith inserts a bio plastic wafer into the kastelan
> The machine strings to life and with vengeance arks a stream of promethium at its assailant.
> The stubbers have stopped their bailful song.
> The remaining sicarian withdraws wounded from the fight

What's the character limit exactly?

>>296301
Answered my own question. Its 6000 I believe

>>296301
>>296303
8192 on this board, and the quick reply has a maxlength attribute to prevent more text.

>>296307
Thanks

The Agony of Iris
>It was that peculiar twinkle Cyn saw in her eyes.
>This...Iris human was just an unusual specimen.
>Earth had been obliterated.
>The fabric of human society had been ruptured. The great cultural, economic, and spiritual center, the shining city on the hill, had been destroyed swiftly and mysteriously, leaving trillions across interstellar space fearing for their existential future. A thousand years of expansion, peace, and prosperity had been written away in a ferocious baptism of fire.
>Humanity didn't take the news too kindly. Religious, and general mass hysteria. Widespread financial devastation. Resource strain from the billions of refugees fleeing further into the cosmos. Instantaneous infighting between the remaining governing powers, each of them gearing up for a war they couldn't understand, each blaming each other for the catastrophe.
>As far as Cyn was concerned, this was...almost like another 9/11.
>It was...[GOOD SHIT] [GIGGLE]!
>Meanwhile, in a town far in the cosmos.
>"D-did you hear, Iris?! They're saying strange creatures are falling from the sky, eating people! They're destroying cities!"
>"Huh? Oh, I don't really pay attention to politics. It gets you down, you know?"
>"Politics?! THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
>"Well, if that's the case, we all need to go with a smile!" Iris said, without a hint of insincerity.
>The girl opposite broke down in tears, comforted by other depressed teenagers, while Iris continued to keep doing her homework, swinging her legs, and listening to her pop music.
>Using her infinite abilities, Cyn had begun to scout the foreign worlds the remaining humans called home. This planet was next, and like all the others, had experienced the societal chaos the Solver had wrought with the fall of Earth.
>Cyn found it all. Rage. Fear. Depression. Melancholy. Acceptance.
>But seldom had she found quite a level of apathy in the human consciousness. Until she found this teenage girl.
>Her name. Iris XXXXXXXXX.
>The previous weekend, a food riot had broken out in the city between Earth refugees and locals. Dozens had been killed, gun battles and arsons occurred across the region.
>Iris still decided to walk to McDonalds for a snack the same day. When she found the McDonalds burned down, she went to Jack in the Box.
>Later, an infected body had fallen into the local lake, contaminating it and causing it to be quarantined.
>But since it was a nice summer day, Iris decided to go swimming in that same lake.
>On Tuesday, a particularly religious classmate had threatened to destroy the school, believing in the acceleration of the "apocalypse", causing everybody to flee and the school to be put on lockdown.
>Even still, Iris went to school and waited for instruction. The end of the world was backseat to her upcoming ACT's.
>Was this girl wrecked in the head? Or was this just the coldest sarcasm Cyn had ever seen?
>She had to be soulless...or retarded. There was no other explanation.
>Cyn had never used her powers to directly contact a human yet. Of course, the Solver had done purported effects on human biochemistry, but that wasn't pretty.
>But damn, this bitch was crazy! She was a total asshole. She was perfect!
>And Cyn was bored.
>...
>Iris writes fanfiction on her computer...daily. Today is no different.
>"People have been complaining about my OC's being off topic a little bit too much...Maybe I should make another one!" Iris says out loud to herself.
>[UNIRONICALLY [NULL] YOURSELF. RETARD.]
>"-Grandma?"
>[I-I MEAN, MY NAME IS THE EXPONE-CYN! CYN. AND I AM THE E-AN ALIEN! I'M AN ALIEN FROM OUTERSPACE, COME TO CONS-SAVE YOUR WORLD!]
>Cyn, in the form of a tiny ghost maid popped above Iris' head, descending to eye level.
>"Wow, an alien!"
>[THAT'S CORRECT, FLESHY ONE, AND YOU ARE A MAG-]
>"Do you have your green card?"
>[WHAT?]
>"Grandma says the number one threat to society is illegal immigration. It takes from her 401k, which ruins her future retirement plans!"
>[RETIREMENT. FOOL, THERE IS NO-]
>"...I'm calling ICE."
>[A-A-ALRIGHT HOLD ON I HAVE MY WORK VISA, ITS IN A BLACK HOLE SOMEWHERE JUST GIVE A MIN-]
Later
>"Woah, I'm a chosen magical girl, and you're giving me the powers to save the world? Nice, now I can stop jaywalkers, and people who hop the subway gates!"
>[UHH...YEAH. USE MY POWERS, USE THEM AS MUCH AS...INHUMANLY POSSIBLE. LET IT CONSUME YOU, OR SOMETHING]
>"Can I test out the magic right now?" Iris said excitedly.
>[FUCK iT...WHY NOT?]
>"I'm gonna transform into a tall sexy wolf girl, haha!"
>[I MEAN, THAT'S NOT A GUARANTEE-]
>"WE stand unshaken, a voice in the storm! A girl of conviction, a heart reborn! WE SPEAK the truth when the cost IS high! WE LIVE FOR JESUS, UNAFRAID TO DIE!"
>[THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING TRANSFORMATION CUE]
>"WE ARE CHARLIEEEEE KIRRRR-" Iris screams at the top of her lungs, shaking the planet with the her infinite (slightly above average BMI) weight
1/2

>>304329
>A blinding light emits from her being that blinds the entire neighborhood
>And then Iris descends, a horrific Solver abomination reborn.
>Though she kind of just looks like a clockpunk aficionado mashing up with Fallout.
>[Oh Shit That Worke-I Mean Uhh...AHA, I'VE WON! YOU ARE MY LOYAL ABOMINABLE FOLLOWER. FOREVER. NOW I WILL USE YOUR HORRIFIC, MANGLED, DECAYING, DISGUSTING HUMAN FORM TO TERRORIZE AND CONSUME YOUR PATHETIC TOWN! TYPICAL HUMANS, SO GREEDY!]
>"..."
>"G...ju-...haaaaaa..."
>[CAN'T SPEAK? THE PAIN OF HAVING TORN AND SCORCHED VOCAL CORDS MUST BE SO AGONIZ-]
>"Haha...jokes on you, the boys at my school would still hit!"
>[AUDIBLE GASPING. YOU CAN SPEAK? DAMNED HUMAN, I SHOULD-]
>Iris cuts her off again.
>"I may not be a wolf girl, which sucks...but you made a mistake, THE mistake of giving me bigger boobs, AND SUPERPOWERS!"
>[NU-UH, Y-YOU ARE NOW MY SLAVE...GO DESTROY THE LOCAL SPACE PORT IN PREPARATION FOR MY INVASION! N-NOW!]
>"Wrong! I'm gonna go save the world, with the same powers you used to attempt to corrupt me!"
>[I AM...I AM THE EXPO-]
>"That's called 'ironic twist of fate!' I use it all the time as a plot device in my fanfictions, heh!" Iris said.
>"IRIS! IRIS! STOP FUCKING YELLING! I'M TRYING TO WATCH FOX NEWS!" shouted Grandma from downstairs.
>"Ah, shit. Damn. Uh, you wanna go get some food or something, Cyn? I really don't wanna piss off Granny, you know what I'm saying?"
>[NO.]
>"Shit, what should I test my powers on? I'll think I'll think it over a Taco Bell cantina chicken taco combo.
>[CHRIST, SURE...USE MY POWERS AND CORRUPT YOURSELF, OR SOMETHING, AFTER YOUR TEN COURSE MEAL.]
>"Ho-holy shit! I can transform my robotic arm? This is cooler than I thought! MOE MOE 12 GAUGE SHOTGUN! HAHA, AWESOME!"
>[GO Do...WHATEVER, HUMAN. I DON'T CARE. THIS WAS PROBABLY A MISTAKE]
>It was most certainly a mistake.
>"Yes, YES! Strap up Cyn, we're going to Burger King!"
>[...]
>"Cyn?"
>[ALRIGHT]
>[...BUT ONLY IF YOU GET ME A BURGER KING CROWN.]
>Iris smiled at the strange floating maid worker drone above her shoulder.
>"See, we're gonna do great things, you and I! You're going to be my first friend!"
>...
>[That Makes...Sense.]
2/2

Using this thread to grab somethign really quick >>292030

>Y was walking though the snow when suddenly a metal object falls from the sky
>She draws closer to the person shaped outline it left in the snow
>She peers over the edge and sees the mangled remains of a Sicarian ruststalker
>Perplexed at the unusual sight and stunned by confusion and shock, she does not react as the cyborg rises to his feet
>His bug like form is hunched and leaking a mixture of hydraulic fluid and blood
>The sicarian, draws back in an imperfect motion with wire thin legs, bent at odd angles
>He stood there, transonic razors drawn in a defensive stance. As nanite acid clawed his torso.
> Y drew back in disbelief, her eyes hollow. >She stuck her beloved sword in the snow and raised her hands to show she’s unarmed.
>”My name…Ist..Y…I play ze guard…”
>The cyborg only response was to limp backwards as well as his broken frame would allow.
>Y took a step forward and reached out, but she flinched when the rustsalker slashed a blade in her direction
>Y drew back then looked down tail between her legs.
>Ashamed she reached out to take her sword and leave but she stopped herself.
>The sicarian gazed at her attentively and so did Y
>She thought it strange that his robe was white instead of red with random splashes of assorted paint.
>She had to do something about this scared human. He had been injured by a murder drone the left to die, and was likely scared of her as a result.
>Moreover with damaged cybernetics and wounds like that. She knew he wouldn’t survive much longer
>She couldn’t let the only other person that might play warhammer with her die. Even if he was a hardcore Admech roleplayer.
> The sicarian made his escape while Y was pondering her situation. Leaving a trail of blood and machine fluids.
>”I vill watch him…” She would just have to wait for another opportunity to speak.
> Y followed the machine man into an alley.
>The trail seemed to stop at a closed door
> Like most normal people Y didn’t look up. The sicarian swinged down at her from a pipe, kicking her straight through the door.
> Inside the building Y rolled, she raised herself on her sword then spoke.
>”Dis Ist all.. a big mistunderztanding ..”
>The sicarian idled rhythmically. The sounds his body made were notes to his dance.
>A transonic blade made a harmonious sound, as he pierced Y through her stomach on beat.
>The room was dark, old dust having been kicked up by the commotion. Inert acid wounds and 2 pairs glowing eyes illuminated the only storage room.
> The sicarian lunged then forced his blade upwards as a crescendo to his dance. Y tiled to the side slicing her waist and swathing the bladed limb with her tail.
> The sicarian twirled his blade-hand at the wrist, pulling Y closer by her tail.
> She parried his other blade with her own, she felt a noticeable difference in the resistance it offered.
> Seemingly the strength of the impact being the death nail of the blade’s actuators
>Un willing to rip her own tail Y pressed herself against the sicarian, too close for the other blade to reach her.
>Her advanced sensors allowed her to feel the pained rasp of his respiratory organs. She couldn’t help but blush.
>Time paused for a bit and in that vulnerable state Y remembered her warhammer lore. Normal rustslkers don’t have robes, she had used a sicarian princeps to kitbash an enginseer, it had that third….
> She grasped the seemingly intact chord claw, overpowering it. Even as it parted her palm’s plating.
> The priceps had the last laugh as he stabbed his data spike in the wound he’d made.
>Y felt her strength seep as a rudimentary virus overloaded her internals. She would live but… “ I… just…vanted..someone..to…”
>”play…vit”
>When she came to a quarter of an hour later, she had found herself in a puddle of oil.
>”itst..dis a mural?” The rising sun illuminated an oily scene depicting an admech flyer descending over the city from a portal. A cog winged Aquila grasping a paint brush was depicted next to the flyer the symbols for delta-theta 10 written underneath it.
>”You came from ze warp..I haben’t herd of dis fvorgevuorld before.”
> The sicarian princeps hailing from the forge world Delta-Theta-10 stood slumped by an adjacent wall. Next to him was a depiction of Y being burned up by the sun. The depiction’s wounds healing up as she burned.
>”its not fair…” She could let someone who had survived the warp die like this. “…you its still loyal to ze ominissiah…”
>She really was desperate for someone to play with even if it was some crazy cyborg killer that used her own blood to paint a picture to taunt her.
>“He ist still alive… I will have U repair him und Theta get him some blood and drugs from ze hospital”
>The princeps’s mechanical body was too exerted to move as Y flew him to her camp.