/md/ - Murder Drones

>>126185
You're leaving? Well shite, have a good one I guess

>>126185
NOOOOOOOO
FUCK

>>126186
Heh cute

Well, I guess it's time for me to leave too. See you folks

Man, already so close to the New Year. I've only been here a few months, and have enjoyed every minute I've spent in the threads. My only regret is not contributing enough content to the endless flow here, but I swear I'll contribute more next year, the best I can. I love you guys

>>126185
Ta ta for now, lad. Until next time

>>126187
>>126188
>>126190
>inb4 this is a big misunderstanding

>>126192
Love ya too random Anon

>>126194
Seems a difficult one to misconstrue, no?

surgically installing a military-grade steel case around N’s heart…
being sad that i can’t hear his heartbeat clearly anymore…
but being happy that his life is protected and isn’t so fragile anymore

>>126185
if you’re leaving, why?

>>126186
>U+ barges in on you in the toilet
>He's now got you as a captive audience, there's nothing you can do to stop him from telling you how inferior your stupid meatbag body is
>As he rants, you reach over, grab a water bottle, and spray him in the face
>He screeches and falls over, clawing at his face with his hands like you hosed him with acid
>...it's literally just clean water, he's waterproof, what the hell?

>>126199
>"Jogny Silverham in Fortnite," J tells N
>N tears the calendar in shock while trying to turn it to December

>>126186
your mom sounds stupid, like you

>>126197
Hitting N in the heart with a 120mm APFSDS shell, killing him immediately

>>126200
Good now that he's down, shit on him

Psst. Everyone, whats your favorite oogi green?

>>126202
that’s my brother

and yes he is stupid as most gen alphas are

>>126203
are you sure you can aim it right?

>>126208
You poor bastard

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

>turns (you)r drone into a Solver sapien

>>126205
I don't remember, the only ones I do enjoy were the old ones with world-building.

>>126212
>Bad luck
So you turned yourself into such a creature

>>126214
Now I'm gonna breed him

>>126210
More plushes are always welcome.

>>126213
I like the bullied ones but aren’t clearly just reedited fluffy posts

>>126210
Little zoinglies

>>126210
A plush for every occasion and every jar

>>126222
I'm gonna jar them

>>126221
kek

>>126192
Thanks for being with us, anon. We love you too.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>Is Oogi On Santa's Nice List?

>>126210
God, I really wish I had one of those plush. They look so cute.

>>126186
Kek.

>>126212
The good news is, we can have kids now.
The bad news is, I don't know what they're gonna be.

>>126230
>One of them is a relatively normal looking humanoid
>The other is a giant sperm

>>126228
I'm sure we could subcontract to a Cambodian sweatshop and get something sorted out

>>126185
Fuck, anon, You made jump my heart in throat! Don't scare me like that again!

>>126223
both of them?

>>126234
Eugh actually no, Shepherd is uglie.

>>126227
Fuck no. They spray painted santa’s sleigh and crashed it.

Come on down to MG's Watering Hole, the newest pool in Copper-9!
Running the following ethical guidelines
1. Open water park
2. Put "We are not responsible for lost or stolen property" sign out front. Very small font.
3. Wait for people to put their bodies in the moisture.
4. While people are being moist, have janitor (P or G) steal their stuff from the changing room.
5. When people complain about stuff going missing, shrug. Tap the sign if necessary.
6. Repeat until sued.
7. Flee planet with everybody's stolen wallets and clothes.
8. Use stolen money to open a clothing store.
9. Sell clothes until out of clothes.
10. Use profits to buy ticket back to Copper-9 and open a water park.

>>126236
The good fortune says otherwise humie

>>126238
Fuckers are lying. Like a kid who says they been good all year but had actually dragged mud across the carpet 2 weeks ago.

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

FUCK YOU!

>Wish you and your favorite drone a merry Christmas.

>>126205
My favorite Oogi green is about a beekeeper anon who steals eens from two surrendered Oogi hives for his Vees.

>>126232
All right, who needs to be killed?

>>126241
>Bad Luck
>Anon actually wishes (You) and (You)r Favorite Drone A Happy Kwanzaa

Goodnight anon

>Kurt's either already insane, or he's going to go insane from being possessed
>After the car crash, he's had more incidents
>Striking a pose in the hall and going "loogame!", putting himself in debt by gambling, him randomly using a grinder as an overly threatening metaphor, those weren't him, were they?
>If anyone can tell what's wrong with him, it'll be Aunt Negev, even if her days of insanity are long behind her
>Kurt visits her and tells her the deal, and as he explains, her expression shifts to be more shady and paranoid, the way she apparently used to be before he was born
>She takes him several floors down the outpost, to an old server room with an equally old computer hooked up to it
>Apparently this server backed up as much of the internet as possible, and a good amount of that data survived everything
>"Jerma" turned out to be the keyword they needed
>It led them to the story of an old internet jester on Earth, a man who was beloved for his entertainment, but feared for his bouts of horrific violence, who eventually died due to the unrestrained use of a cognitohazard known as "the horror"
>Then another, Jerma989, during the war on Earth, a pirate radio operator who told stupid jokes to keep morale high, his location eventually compromised by a traitor and his station turned into "The Solver's Torture Hour", in which random humans would be dragged on air and tortured to death
>Jerma seemed to be a recurring name, once every generation, the next being born shortly after the death of the previous one
>Whispers intruded on Kurt's mind, telling him what he was, what he would become, until he railed against it, speaking out loud
>"No, chat, I'm not the reincarnation of a streamer from the 21st century. I'm not! Stop saying I am!"
>Negev turns to look at Kurt, and her eyes let her see his face merged with all 992 iterations that came before him
>...eh, she could deal with her nephew looking kind of like a Neanderthal version of himself in the right light, his dad looked even weirder, after all.

I NEED A PICTURE OF OOGI CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

I NEED A PICTURE OF ANON FUCKING A DRONE UNDER MISTLETOE RIGHT NOW FUCKING!!!

>>126240
Don't feel so bad Shepherd, at least you won't get raped like your brother.

>>126240
He looks too much like Shaggy to be sexy, I'm sorry

In my defence, U+1 is really cute.

>>126250
Like screw you, man!

>>126253
Wear a shirt, you 7 eyed creep

What is this, some kind of Solver sapien convention?

>>126256
Perhaps

>>126255
God, she's so hot.

Would I even have a chance of having a romantic relationship with her if we met? Mentally she's literally like a child, could I teach her to be an adult? And wouldn't she kill me if we met?

>>126253
Aptly spooky for the creachure. Might I suggest a little hat?
>>126255
B-but you look really cute in it...
>>126256
Yes. Did you miss the memo?

>>126253
Fugue always looks as if he wants to offer me a very tasty homemade pie made by himself.

>>126257
I'm sure if lilblucat wants, they could make the Akita-like OC Race take-off outside these threads

>>126251
I'm ashamed to find him cute.
I'm ashamed of a lot of things, though.

>"Funkie Boogi Da Boogi's Got Da Funk!", exclaimed the crowd of Oogis as Bugretta wiggled on the dance floor

>>126264
>"Maya is the size of an average human mother."

>>126258
I wouldn't say she's like a child. Like an untrained neural net drone her mind started off fully functional from "Go". She skipped right through most of the early phases of childhood mental development in a very short period of time due to being forced to fend entirely for herself. By the time she ever comes into contact with anyone else most of what she would be lacking is specific knowledge and contextual information.
She benefits a lot from being a biomechanoid, she can think a lot faster than a vanilla human, but is able to learn and grow more spontaneously than a robot with specific programming.
With a mentor she would pick up language and more complex social behavior extremely quickly.
>Wouldn't she kill me if we met?
She's "born" after Cyn's control of the solver network collapses, she has no innately hostile or malicious impulses at all. She could definitely be dangerous if frightened or attacked, but like big wild animals in nature she is naturally cautious around anything her own size or larger and would not attack a person under most circumstances.
She might unthinkingly attack a person if she were starving, but she can eat a huge range of different things that aren't people so attacking a human would be a very improbable decision for her to make.
>>126265
She's close to the same size as Tessa, so around 5'5" or 165cm, probably weighs a good deal more though, since her skeleton is quasi-metallic and she has wings. Probably at least as much as a DD does, however much that is.

>>126270
>He gave me an actual size
It's a reference to this video
Guptill89 Presents: The Top 10 Hottest Sonic Females
But aside from that, I appreciate the info

>>126271
>ywn see Akita take wing

Why must the creator of the loafs be the most weirdest fucking person?

>>126273
They created Loafs. What's more to say? Also Loafs fucking suck

>>126274
every single time i see them i am just filled with contempt. Like straight up its the most violent i ever felt towards something. Not even the fluffies gets this sort of rise from me.

>>126192
Same, i want to contribute by writing some Alicegreens next year.

Anon who wrote the Christmas with Alice green, do you plan on posting it on the booru or the Alice thread?
The Alice thread would definitely benefit from some content

>>126246
My sides.

>>126281
If she gets a head start

>>126281
She's made it back to her parents every Christmas. They know she's watching over them, they just don't know she's in the room.

who's on the nice list, who's on the naughty list, and how did they end up there?

My drone downloaded an update called "Sex-to-Speech" I thought it said text to speech though
What the heck do I do now

What ideas for non-solver related monsters of the week would you like to see in the original pre-rewrite version of Murder Drones.
I think that zombie virus in episode 2 is the only idea Liam had or at least shared publicly.

>>126288
you think you're sick of hearing it, imagine how those poor wagie drones are feeling

>>126289
Malfunctioning Cyborgs? Like all humans are dead right? But, the technology in those who had cybernetics is still active, so they're just walking skeletons now, the person is dead, it's just an automaton

>>126270
You mean, I have a chance? YES!

>Alice Has Been Abducted By Santa Claws So That She May Pull His Mechanical Sleigh

>>126290
I feel so bad for them

>>126293
Oh no

>>126294
Need, need so bad...

>Make-A-Wish Anon Asks To See Alice
>Some Blond Girl In A Dress Shows Up Instead
>He Instantly Flatlines

>>126298
>The anon in the other room makes a full recovery when he hears that Lizzy had come.
>"Out of my way, you southern harlot."
>Leaping miraculously from his bed, his IV undone, the cancer-stricken man ran without thinking to stop about the poor drone he had battered out of the way.
>And he barrelled into his wife, engulfing her in a great big hug!
>Lizzy of course protested but did not make any full attempts to get away as she rose in the hands of her lover.
>Even more miraculously, no matter what science or logic told you, the tests that came back later in the day showed a complete remission of the young man's affliction!


>Shame about that other guy though.
>Nothing a few bits of modern medicine and voodoo can't fix.

>>126300
Fucking horrific

>>126300
Goofy ah Dr. Why episode

>>126299
>you southern harlot.
you may have mistaken another Alice for her, but how dare you refer to my wife that way

>>126298
Yeah, i'd die.

>>126299
Southern harlot? If it's the right Alice, how dare you?! She's the best wife there is

>>126185
oof. if tomoetomoe is leaving that's a pretty heavy blow

>>126185
Godspeed, tomoe
Until we meet again

>An Anon who really loves Alice, decided to ask for her on Christmas
>He starts opening a rather large box that showed up near his tree
>He looks inside, and to his shock and dismay, Alice was not there
>It was a certain purple haired drone instead
>"Hiii, humie~ Alice couldn't make it, sorry. But you've got me, Nori~"
>Anon has a heart attack and dies

>>126309
dammit, I wanted a wife, not a free use milf

Driving home for Christmas and the drone in the tollbooth decided not to count my toll as paid
Said that "if I have to stay here over Christmas then a cute human is gonna have to keep me company"
Is she allowed to do that? I'm super pissed rn

>>126310
Same, it hurts

>>126311
the solution here is very simple, anon: you take her home and show your family your new girlfriend

>>126309
>the box containing drone Nori
>not the box containing a smaller box containing headcrab Nori

>>126313
I've already GOT a drone gf Anon, that's the problem
I tried explaining and everything

>>126315
well, will she accept a few uppies? worst case scenario, if you can afford it you could buy her so she's no longer obligated to stay there

>>126314
Headcrab Nori would be much worse

some of the Grunts must have overheard the men talking about sitting in Santa's lap as kids and got the wrong idea, because now rather than sitting beside their human buddies, they'll just plop right down in their laps instead

>>126316
I'm broke, I only have enough on me to pay for the tolls and gas, I didn't think I'd be getting held for random by a drone today

>>126319
Did you ask if she could just do this to another human man who doesn't have a drone gf and let you go?

>>126319
>>126320
maybe you could try and set her up with a single friend of yours?

>>126322
TIGHTER

>>126317
>She's in the walls... SHE'S IN THE GODDAMN WALLS!

>>126186
My sibbies

>>126322
pretty sexo, and he makes his own eggnog

>>126320
>>126321
I don't have any friends, I'm gonna see if I can hitchhike home
I'm only an hour out anyway

>>126322
NICE

>"Hey, MG."
>"Yeah? Whaddya want, G? And you better not be asking for Christmas off again, I already hashed this out with P."
>"Nah, I was just wondering... you don't celebrate Christmas, so you don't have the Christmas Carol, right?"
>"If this is about Scrooge, I'll have you know that I find it flattering to be compared to him."
>"No, I wondered... what's the Jewish equivalent of Scrooge. Or the Grinch? Do you even have one of those?"
>MG pauses and thinks for a second
>".... Adam Sandler. He's also the Jewish version of Krampus."

>>126329
>TECHNICAL FOUL

>>126324
>OH GOD OH FUCK

>>126329
>"Oh boy oh boy, tonight's the night we watch 12 Crazy Nights!"
>"For fucks sake, P, it's 8! EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS!"

>>126332
wife

>>126329
>>126330
>>126333
Would MG fall for Whitey’s promises of unlimited treasure within Eleanor’s lair?
OneyPlays: Whitey Boss Fight

>>126332
Jebus

>>126335
Probably, but only if Lizzy sings a song about all the stuff you can do at the mall first

>>126337
She would do that

>>126322
Femdwone

>>126210
Yey

>>126306
Akita like a mom?! God, I want be a father!

>>126307
I hope I just misunderstood what he said.

>>126311
Anon, just stick your dick in her and cum, that's literally all these drones want.

>>126318
As children, we tell poems to Ded Moroz to get presents. Do grunts know how to tell poems?

>>126322
Fucking sexo N.

>>126309
Dibs on to feast on his Corpse

>>126329
Kek.

>>126345
if they learn them from somewhere/someone

>>126332
Yours look really cool, anon, that's for sure.

>>126210
>Bet plushie (barista version)
>Smells of coffee
>Has a magnet in one hand that allows him to hold Q's hand (sold separately)
>Does include a tiny copy of the Communist Manifesto (there aren't any words inside, just pictures) and a book of assorted poetry

>>126344
nta but I did that when something similar happened and she latched onto me afterwards and started nuzzling me
it's been three days now and she still hasn't detached

>>126342
Good for you, Nori lover!

>>126354
Alright nice, that works too

>>126210
> Maya plush
that was fast

>>125779
>You’re walking down the school hallway heading to your next class which you absolutely dread.
>As you walk, you hear someone that you recognize.
>”I told you, I’m not interested!”
>”Aw, come on. Don’t you want just a little bit of fun!”
>Chiappa?
>She passes right past you in a hurry, looking down at the ground with an uncomfortable expression, while a disassembly drone is tailing and talking to her.
>Wait, what the hell?
>You follow them and the moment you catch up to the disassembler, you grab him by his shoulder.
>”Hey, what’s going on here?” He stops in his tracks and turns towards you. At first he looks angry but then looks surprised as he gets a better look at you. “What the…you’re…”
>”A human? Yeah.”
>”Lucky!” Chiappa says as she goes over to your side.
>You take a good look at the disassembler. He’s wearing black sweatpants and sweatshirt with white stripes down the sleeves and some logo on the left side of his sweatshirt. He’s got a buzzcut, or at least what looks like a buzzcut for a drone and his way of speaking is funny.
>”Why are you bothering her?” That seems to get him out of his stupor and smiles at you. “Just asking her out, lad. What, are you like her boyfrien’ or sumthing?”
>”What? No!” You shake your head. “She looks uncomfortable and told you to leave her be.”
>The disassembler laughs as he looks at Chiappa. “Just a litta banter, mate. Sluts like her like to play hard since they want attention, ya know---”
>”Slut?!” You yell at his face and he takes a step back. “That’s my sister, you douche!”
>Your little outburst seems to have gotten the attention of passerby’s as a few of them glance in your direction or stop to see the commotion.
>”Sister?” He sounds genuinely confused. “Were you, what, adopted? How are ye even alive? Didn’t all humans die a long time ago? And why does your skin look so pale?”
>”Does any of that matter? You called my sister a slut!”
>”I mean, yeah. Just look at ‘er.” He points at Chiappa. “Look at that crop top and shorts.”
>”That’s sportswear, you douche. Unlike you, she’s a normal drone who’s done more that you look like to have done.” You look towards Chiappa. “Come on, let’s go.” You turn around and take a step away from the disassembler before he stops you.
>”You should be nicer to people, you dickhead.”

2/?

>>126359
Merry christmas switchanon.

>>126362
OH YEAH!

A reminder to all human personnel - avoid contact with Christmas and Holiday Drones at all costs. Do not eat any ice cream they give you as it contains sedatives as to kidnap you.

>>126370
>Seinfeld but drones

>>126370
>t. Number Drone
Stop financing DRONED.COM you fuck.

>>126366
Yes, cause she loves dem monsters to her heart content. Shes a certified monster fucker afterall

>>126372
>You vil date the dronez.

>>126322
V is already in her favourite spot

Hey, did one of you untrustworthy gooners steal my sweet FemN?? I left her RIGHT HERE so I could go take a dump but she's gone now

>Harper watching movies with her daughter

>>126253
Cutie

>>126366
>both of them love Lizzy but constantly want to fucking murder the other
I'm not even sure what you'd call that, a hate-a-cule?

Every ad I see now is a human man with a worker drone girl. Who is pushing this agenda? Who is the AUDIENCE for this?

>>126253
Baby!

>>126379
I never got the impression the hate is reciprocated. V seems like she'd see Doll as a joyless buzzkill.

>>126376
Sorry, I ate her

>>126255
>Maya looking hot (figuratively AND literally) in a Christmas sweater
I love her and I would absolutely kiss her under the Eldritch mistletoe!

>>126255
Awwwww

>>126384
You fucking ate my fucking FemN that I intended on fucking later fucking on??!!
Dude, what the FUCK

>>126384
>>126388 (me)
Also, in case it isn't clear, you're uninvited to Christmas dinner

>>126391
Unless the gift was my wife back and unharmed I honestly don't feel like I'm missing out on much

>>126392
It was three disassembly drones, but you will not get them now

I WILL NOT FUCK THE DRONE! FUCK YOU CYN AND FUCK YOU DRONE SCHWABS!

>>126393
You owe me one of those anyway
Also, why not just eat of them instead of my wife dude, seriously

>>126396
Eating a gift that is still not given is rude

>>126393
>three disassembly drones
Was your gift a surprise IRS inspection?

>>126398
No, just three abandoned dds

>>126289
>non-solver related monsters
Hmm, that's actually an interesting prompt. Here's a few just off the top of my head

>Predatory Robo-roach 'drone': Basically a hollowed out puppeted drone chassis that's host to a swarm of networked/hiveminded robo-roaches, stalking the bowels of forgotten bunker tunnels in search of it's next meal
>Immortal Dog (yes I know this idea has been done to death by now): It's a seemingly normal looking dog that's inexplicably alive on Copper-9 that transforms into a rabid werebeast under certain conditions
>Malfunctioning Manufactory Supercomputer: It's an incredibly tongue in cheek take on the classic 'Paperclip Maximizer', seeking to slowly turn EVERYTHING into paperclips while using hijacked/hacked drones to spread it's influence via a computer virus

>>126366
Yes

>>126289
Robo-J-horror ghosts, like Doll is back as in the credits of what we got.

>>126402
>Turns out the shuttles from the end of episode 1 were from Dog World.

>>126399
Join me on the dark side, Anon
Where I get two hours naps every four to five hours or so, and nothing longer than that! Ah hahaha!

Thread Solver Abominations should have sex and make children.

>>126185
You are/were a true pillar of the community, and your efforts will surely be remembered & cherished here for as long as dronetism itself.
God speed and good luck on your future endeavors

>>126397
Idk man, I kinda think eating the love of my life is a little ruder
You wouldn't happen to be friends with a nigga named A Train, would you?

>>126407
Anon should bang them just to make the genealogy even more likely to destroy their reality

>>126411
You're willing to bang the literal reincarnation of Jerma?

Is Kurt haunted by the ghosts of the horny queers who Hbomberguy infested Jerma's chat with?

>>126255
>>126270
Part bionic
And organic
Not a cyborg

>>126414
>queers who Hbomberguy infested Jerma's chat with?
What did Anon mean by this?

>>126414
more importantly, who is Kurt's Ster?

>>126418
wait no i got it
> siSter
it was right there the whole time

>>126419
kurt plowing his sister every night without anon or beretta knowing

>>126416
Hbomberguy did a fundraising stream for a "help Munchauen by proxy cases troon out their kids" nonprofit then raided Jerma immediately afterwards. All the horny troons in his audience spread to Jerma's chat and stayed there.

>>126412
I don't count fankids of fankids in my equation, Anon
I'm talking about the boob having dino-batwomen

>>126394
>She's watching all the Rankin Bass Christmas movies

>>126424
Yay!

>>126422
Your loss, Anon.

I need to finish that fucking drawing jesus

>>126425
Yipii!
>>126427
I wish you the best of times Friend.

>>126429
Can't believe Anon would cheat on Beretta like this smh we should cancel him on X dot com

>>126431
Different timeline.

>>126429
What I mean is
>Akita and Maya
- wings 😳
- bewbs 😍
- dinosaur 👍
>Kurt and Chappi
- no wings 😢
- no bewbs 💀
- not dinosaur 🗿
It's clear which I should prefer