Hi, everybody! I have to make this quick, cause I know I’m not supposed to be here anymore. Thanks for taking us this far in the competition, I’ll be back next year, and, uh, I formally disavow anything Pepe says or does from here on out. He didn’t take the results well, and I have to hop out of here before he finds me...Bye!
>>431771 REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FRAUD! THIS ELECTION WAS STOLEN! I WILL NOT CONSNEED! UNTIL THE FINAL VICTOR OF THE TOURNAMENT IS CROWNED IT ISN’T OFFICIAL! THE VOTE CAN BE OVERTURNED BY FAITHLESS PIE CHARTS! TRUE PATRIOT PIE CHARTS ARE MOBILIZING! TRUST THE PLAN!
>>431778 I HAVE TWO DOZEN SWORN AFFIDAVITS THAT SAY MONARCH AND SHAKE HACKED INTO THE GOOGLE FORM AND ADDED VOTES! WE ACTUALLY WON BY TWO THOUSAND VOTES, A LANDSLIDE! DOMINOS AND TAG TEAM ARE COMPROMISED...BOUGHT OUT BY BIG COCOON...A TOTAL SCAM!
>>431782 KEEP TAG TEAM TOURNEY GREAT! WE WILL NOT LET THIS ELECTION BE STOLEN BY ENEMIES OF THIS GREAT TOURNAMENT! THE ORGANIZERS ARE BOUGHT OUT BY FOREIGN ENTITIES SUCH AS THE GUILD OF CALAMITOUS INTENT! VERY SHAMEFUL!
>>431785 STATS ANON WILL RETURN AND VERIFY THAT WE WERE THE TRUE VICTORS OF THE ELECTION...BASED STATS WILL OVERTURN THIS CROOKED VOTE AND ENSURE TRUE DEMOCRACY IS UPHELD! FUCK RIGGERS! FUCK RIGGERS! FUCK RIGGERS!
>>431810 >>431800 I’m actually the guy who nominated Kermit and Pepe in the first place and the guy who wrote the writefaggotry above, I also voted Asshole Duo this round but just wanted to have Pepe go out in an appropriately /pol/ way
I sense that human with a piece of the AllSpark actually bested a demon. Impressive. But now with the rest of the Allspark I corrupted with my will I’m finally certain my plan is going into motion perfectly
>>431810 I still can't believe they made it this far. Monarch and Master Shake always get fucked over in these competitions despite Monarch qualifying for two Mr /co/s and his wife winning Ms. /co/ and Master Shake qualifying for every single /co/, including the last tag team with Cartman.
S: YOU DID IT!! You absolute maniacs did it! Thanks to your investments, SCAM Inc. has grown exponentially and made it to the ELITE 8! Remember what we told you when that happens? PAYDAY! We don't even KNOW what to do with all this money, so we're giving a little bit more back to ALL our investors as a holiday bonus! Your next check will come with a paramedic to resuscitate you when you look at it! Try stuffing THAT in your stocking! And Krabs says you saved the little square guy's job, so good work there too!
We're not done yet folks. We've got BIG things in store. And, as of now, SCAMMY+ is LIVE! So get watchin'! Anything to add, Krabs?
S: Haha, same buddy! As always, remember to reinvest in SCAM Inc.! Put us on YOUR nice list, and we'll see you in the next round, SCAM faithful!
[SCAM INC] IS IN [FIRST PLACE] [POWER OF TWO] IS IN [SECOND PLACE] [MIGHTY AND POWERFUL GODS] IS IN [THIRD PLACE] [CRACKING CHEESE LOVERS] IS IN [FOURTH PLACE] [NORTH POLE EXPRESS] IS IN [FIFTH PLACE] [ASSHOLISH AS DUO] IS IN [SIXTH PLACE] [FAKE SANTAS] IS IN [SEVENTH PLACE] [DAPPER DEALERS] IS IN [EIGHTH PLACE]
SIGNING OFF ---------- ENDING A
The year is 1957. The city, Washington D.C. You've been up throughout the night trying to write a commercial for Wilkins Coffee. A white light streaks across the night sky.
You hear an explosion. Something has landed outside. You go to check.
The puppet lay abandoned on the road, cast aside after it lose the last race by a hair. The accident had left its arm torn off. There was noone around, and a thick mist was settling atop the track.
Within the puppet, something squirmed. Its eyes glowed with an unnatural power. Those same eyes had glowed many times before, but there was something different about them this time. They were yellower.
The puppet sprang to life, some strange presence within trying to break free. Felt stretched and tore, gray skin growing beneath. From the back sprouted wings. From the head, horns. The binocular vision of the beast split into vision eightfold. Blood spewed from the wound where its arm once was before a mechanical replacement manifested. The puppet's strained body was shredded entirely as orange robes rose to replace it. Its head burst open to release a mane of messy black hair.
Once the new form had fully manifested it flew off, leaving a trail of sparkling dust in its wake.
>>431852 1 SCAM Inc. 79.7 2 Power of Two 62.3 3 Mighty and Powerful Gods 60.9 4 Cracking Cheese Lovers 55.1 5 North Pole Express 55.1 6 Assholish AS Duo 53.6 7 Fake Santas 50.7 8 Dapper Dealers 50.7 wasn't really feeling it tonight >>431855 it's an idea I had back in round 1 or so that the wilkins plush is secretly a cocoon for vriska. the Lord English parallel flowed naturally from there.
>>431808 Master Shake, Pip, and Scratch and Grounder (Formerly Zim) rper here, even though I didn't want Jerry to win, I'm going to miss you. You were always a great and important part of the rp. Goodbye and Merry Christmas.
>>431852 (Just so you know it ain’t me the OG Wilkins poster here. The ending I always intended was at the end of the last thread. He loses, Vriska gets pissed off, takes away the power she was giving him, and kills him. Wilkins dies the pathetic frog he was, Wontkins is free, and Vriska slinks off with the wand to find Gamma Rae.)
>>431857 >>431771 >>431774 >"Kermit, Jerry, Hilda, All of you did really great to make it as far as you did! Lots of people were rooting for you, and I bet they're all proud of you. Losing against gods and Santa (take it from me personally) is definitely nothing to be ashamed of. Hope to see some of you stick around to enjoy the rest of the race, but if not, we'll miss you!" >>431786 >"You mad bro?"
>>431878 He either was a god and got absorbed by Bill(according to Billposter), is still a god and just ran off(Seething anons), was just a disguise for Vriska the whole time(random anon) or was stripped of his power and killed by Vriska(OG Wilkposter)
>>431868 Why shall I foreshadow someone that has been here since Day 1? The Chaos Bringer himself is among you all. Not participating in this race but instead watching. He’s the master while all of us are his chess pieces
The two French teams are gone! We did it! Oh what jolly good fun! Hilda the Frog and Pepe the Frenchman will never strike fear in the hearts of contestants ever again! Oh you did it Tulio and Miguel! You really are Gods!
MINIONS! Well done. The Cocoon is through the portal, and the open fiery plains of Hell await the Master Shake and your Mighty Monarch! Though I will admit, I am saddened to see Jerry fail to make it past Klaus and his lackey. It would appear, my old enemy, our rivalry must be settled at another time, and another date... don't you dare keel over from a broken libido until I'm done with you.
Speaking of Santas, it would appear we're facing a few in the upcoming round. Irony is a dish best served hot, it would seem, but though the Christmas season may be taking its toll, we shall return the favor on these festive frauds. You know what to do, Minions, so go forth and do it!
>>431869 Yes I am but the gift Knull gave me is helping me stay alive so that’s nice. You mean one of the many possible parters Oswald could’ve had? I decided to leave them be since I’ve grown respect for this rabbit that is usually unlucky
>>431864 That's what ending A is for. >>431878 Admittedly it is incompatible with the "true ending", but eh. I kinda don't care. Fuck, there's two different endings in my post, I want people to pick whichever one they like best.
>Howard: It's the elite eight! Who ever is in here now is in it to win it! >Kreese: let's go back to the replays of round 4 and see who won the race! >Howard: We're still doing a race theme? >Kreese: Well the amount of gas I've been huffing would indicate yes.
Robotn- I mean Santa Clause here, I shall congratulate the Top 8 for making it this far. You’ve thought so many foes and have been so close to certain defeat but you pulled through till the end. As a reminder the final 2 teams will be racing at The North Pole and the winners of this would receive a wish from the Super Dragon Balls courtesy of /a/. Relax Top 8 as of tomorrow the races will be your most important races yet.
>>431890 I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy my liege! We will need to assemble the troops immediately to pledge their allegiance. Also, if you think I'm annoying, you have seen nothing yet. Wait until you meet this guy in hell.
>>431915 (OG here, just gonna dump my entire Wilkins outline for the record)
>Wilkins, a sentient frog puppet distantly related to Kermit, comes to do his usual tricks to intimidate threaten and extort people into buying Wilkins. Wontkins is an unwilling partner.
>His charisma does him well at the qualifiers and he's planning to move on.
>Meanwhile, Vriska and Gamma Rae, rivals of the God Emperors Daughters Star and Gertrude, got word they lost, and were gonna lose their chance to take out their rivals.
>Rae slinks home, but Vriska is willing to make a deal and offers to grant Wilkins the thief of light if he helps her kill Star, Gertrude, and their father.
>She even offers to buy the coffee, sealing the deal.
>Wilkins now has the glowing symbol. He can kill people with bad luck.
>Mr. Stotch comes first.
>Star is too distracted keeping Garnet off her trail for killing Steven to realize what's going on, Wilkins organizes a meeting with her dad, kills him, and triggers Star to die, and eventually Gertrude, taking her wand and hiding it elsewhere as a gift for Vriska.
>Wilkins absorbs the powers of the god emperor.
>Wilkins gets greedy and extends the deal, no longer is this about killing Star, he promises to take her to the end game. Vriska agrees, and shares more power, causing Wilkins to occasionally glow.
>He kills Tavros to shut him up.
>He recruits Amity by saving her memories from the MIB, which leads him to Zone.
>Wilkins gets greedy again, offering Zone power in exchange for taking out Aradia(who Vriska had tipped him off was a potential troublemaker)
>Caught off guard, Aradia is killed by the combined power of Godemp and Vriska, and Wilkins gives most of that power to Zone uses Vriska's luck magic to transfer it.
>He then sends Zone away to wait for the quarter finales, when Vriska will return to the public.
>Vriska gets fucking pissed off, removes all the power from her puppet, leaving him helpless, and sends him down to hell, killing him. She slinks off, now in control of Star's wand and the power of God Emperor.
>Wontkins is free.
>Gertrude and Star are still dead.
>The God Emperors sons have taken over...and are currently losing.
>Zone-Tan slinks off unharmed, though she had the portion of Aradia's power she was granted forcefully removed.
>Vriska is off to reunite with Rae.
Essentially I left it with Vriska, defeated, but still stronger then before, Wilkins dead, and everyone else still dead.
Also, I said I was done with actively playing him alive, I ALSO said I was giving him a "Dr. Facciler" style death when he lost, because again, entire arc was that he was a weak pointless puppet being puppetered by someone legitimately threatening.
Which I did. He died a slimy pathetic frog just as planned, though it took longer then I hoped, and Vriska slinks off with more power then before, stronger and badder for next time.
>>431936 Can verify, right after talking about how much he enjoyed playing Dan last time he said he was waiting for Wilkins to die so he could do that scene(he even gave some of the dialogue he planned)
Isn't that why we essentially ignored Wilkins last round? Because we knew he was meant to be pathetic?
>>431936 Yeah, and I can't wait to see what happens with Vriska next. Also yeah he's a god. He absorbed a piece of the allspark and slowly transformed into one. I didn't know you already had a set ending so I was planning on having Heaven Ascended Tulio fight Wilkins in a cosmic fight. Sorry if I nearly ruined your story arc.
>>431887 >"I still almost can't believe Wilkins was killed. Thrice! Looks like you were right Al, you all really did have it handled. I guess we can all finally stop drinking this coffee now that his power over the tournament's gone. Congrats on making it to the Quarterfinals! How's it feel to be back home?" >>431868 >"And congrats to you on getting that swanky new godhood. So... is TulioMiguelantism back on or was that always just a thing you were making up?" >>431896 >"Hey, Jack, you okay? I just wanted to say sorry again about that joke earlier, I really would like to read your poetry but if you're not really comfortable with it that's okay, you don't have to." >>431890 >"You and Shake are up against Skinny Santa?! Good luck Mr. The Monarch, if his sleigh's anywhere close to as fast as regular Santa this is going to be tough."
>>431929 This is incomplete but: >Dick Dasterdly cheating to win >rivarly between Dan Vs. and Mao Mao >Detective gang is after Ramses, who is in with Black widow and resurrecting dead characters as mummy soldiers >Wilkins from Wilkins coffee becomes deity due to a Freudian contract with a Homestuck lady and tortures those who don't drink his product, suffers a horrible fall after losing >Ashi and Grace enter to kill Simon and Jack but wiped out first round >Simon and Jack wiped out next round by Billy and Mandy (I think they got gassed with something delirium inducing that Jerry and the detectives tried to warn people about) >Samantha from IT is Mr. Mumbles' mom and Bill Cipher has possessed her to mock Mao Mao and Dan, also kidnapped Mumbles, Dan tries to save her but is locked in hell when he loses >Mister Krabs has defeated Plankton yet again with his team mate (Stan?) and they are also running an organization called SCAM Inc that sells Krabby patties What else?
>>431941 I mean, it did kinda get buried in the Dan stuff.
But yeah, Wilkins was pathetic, infact I was kinda relieing on people continueing to mock him like they did on the qualifiers. The joke was meant to be like >Wilkins says he's powerful >No one gives a shit >He actually becomes powerful by making a deal >No one gives a shit even when he kills millions >He gets too greedy and Vriska cuts him loose. >He dies pathetic(originally with Dan's involvement, that part didn't work out)
But people stopped mocking him pretty early on so I think the joke got lost at some point and people thought I actually intended him to be a threat.
Hell, not like Vriska's coming back this year either. She's slinked off til next year.
Although that will cost Tulio and whoever my vote, I don't like actual gods, personally I preferred when they were talking it up.
>>431943 (Also, just gonna spell it out now. Either when the dealers lose or when they win, they'll get bored of keeping Dan and Chris and hand them over to Angel....who....has his fun with them....cue Commache the Revels for the next 9-10 months)
>>431900 Having a hentai mascot as our preacher would be neat.
>>431896 Don't worry Jack, not all hope is lost. >A comic appears in Jack's hand Its a copy of Action Comics #1 but with Gwen as the main character instead of Superman. Give this to her and she'll love you.
>>431942 I was making it up before but now I think its a legit thing. So convert and you'll get all that stuff.
>>431943 >Miser Bros cursing the race before it even began >all the paternity test drama with Jack Spicer and Mr. Mumbles >Eggman's new album >Samantha made a deal with Bill to escape Grace's kidnapping before the possessing >Jack Spicer and HenchGwen becomes best couple You got most of it.
>>431943 Megatron being bitter about losing and deciding to sabotage the competition, this then results in Tulio having a shard of a powerful artefact Megatron had being embedded into him and turning Tulio into an actual god
>>431913 Your highness! I-I've been stuck here for days! I'm surrounded by sex maniacs and murderers - my hair dye's fading - and there's not even a single female left! M-may I take my leave? Or is there something...
>>431936 >because again, entire arc was that he was a weak pointless puppet being puppetered by someone legitimately threatening. that's lame as fuck though >oh yeah this person who's been around for half the tournament subtly taking out all who oppose him and actually being kind of intimidating is REALLY a pathetic fool controlled by the other super powerful character who hasn't done jack shit so far (and didn't even make it onto the bracket) no wonder people are writing their own shit. lean how to improv properly, your plans are gonna change as the story takes unexpected turns. why the fuck does Vriska want to kill Star anyway?
>>431919 >"Huh...? Santa, what happened to your clothes? Did they shrink in the wash? OH and did you get my letter?!" >>431946 >"Oooh, that's what I gotta do to be forgiven? Mr. Spicer, you dastardly villain you, that almost sounds like extortion!" >>431952 >"Blowing up Wilkins sorta makes me a believer but, let me get back to you on that. Like I said earlier, I'm not the kinda girl who just goes joining every hip new religion that comes up."
>>431970 I should clarify I didn't intend to leave Vriska forever, I was leaving her open to future RPers, she's more powerful now, her two main rivals are dead, now what? She's going back to reunite with Gamma Rae? Maybe Rae betrays her, maybe she gets into trouble with the Emperors sons, maybe someone tries to steal the wand from her or revive Star.
I wanted to dispose of Wilkins and leave Vriska open for future tournaments, especially Ms Co assuming it happens. ----------------------- He's a handpuppet, him being puppeted by someone else fit.
>>431969 A letter? Uh yes I did get your letter and it’s really good. As for my clothes it’s because… uh… climate change, yes yes climate change, as you know it’s getting hotter every year, it’s gotten so hot that now we don’t need to wear thicker clothing in the North Pole so I thought I’d wear this instead.
>>431970 >I never imagined he'd get that far. I originally expected either Star would kill him and they'd revert to the status quo, or he'd beat Star, get greedy, and die in Round 2. Then when he didn't I had to come up with the Amity and Zone-Tan plotlines to serve as a stopgap, because Dan's arc was reaching it's peak and he needed my attention, and eventually I planned to have Dan kill him to kill two birds with one stone. But Wilkins lived and Dan died, so I gave up, I couldn't figure out where to pivot next, I didn't have enough interest, so I stated my attentions on how he'd die and then left to wait.
Sorry I disapointed you, Wilkins overpreformed and things kept ruining all my pivot attempts to clean up the arc like Dan dying, him living, and the Lich going away. dodged all my pivoting attempts except the last one(I voted against him and narrowly cost him)
>>431960 Weekly, I cannot express how much you mean to me. We may have started off rocky in the beginning, but over time we became best friends. Now, I don't know what I'd do without you. If I lose you, I'd never forgive myself.
>>431896 >Really? I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that! It's more about the motion of the ocean than the size of the boat! Or were you talking about the blue guy being gay? Kid, we get so many Californians moving to Oregon I can spot 'em a mile away.
And don't worry about it kid! You remind me a little of my nephew. Nerdy, neurotic, but never stops trying! You're gonna get your girl, just remember to take those chances! Trust me, when you get to the point you've got more to look back on than look forward to, most of the stuff you'll regret are gonna be the things you didn't do. The perfect moment only exists in hindsight, kid. That's why you gotta keep trying with your girl. And invest in SCAM Inc.
>>431993 Sorry to ruin the moment but just came to warn you guys, Ramses and his undead army have started to move. They’ll be here soon and I’ll be prepared for that, even infected and how have under my command some of his army.
>>432010 >which duos are you most sad about not making it here OG King and Queen, Kermit/Pepe, Tainted Love >which ones are you most shocked didn't make it? Bugs/Daffy. Really thought they'd be a powerhouse.
>>431978 >>431988 >"I know Alastor, I know! There were just so many really bright, flashy god-snaps of destruction I was losing track. You and Bill really earned your win on that." >>431988 >"Nine bucks?! That's worse than SCAM's prices! Do you even still need money?" >>431975 >"Oh no! Darn it, someone should just really bite the bullet and use their Christmas wish on a solution for green-house gases or something! Now even the North Pole is melting?! It was bad enough seeing Polar Bears lose their homes, we can't lose the toy factory too!" >"Think you'll still be able to do your run this year?"
>>432010 Sad Patrick's Inferno didn't do better and that Somebody Will Die (Of Fun) got enough votes but didn't qualify under the 3 characters per series rule. Also surprised Miser Bros got beat by Trolberg Jumpers.
>>431961 Amity Blight. I had figured you would be home by now. That will be another thing to tell your family, but for now consider yourself lucky as the first resident of the Boiling Isles to show off my newfound relic.
>It's.... a lantern?
I'll admit, I had thought it was about too good to be truthful, but there are so many vital uses to be had from this! The Titan will be most pleased to have this relic in his possession!
>>431978 Just know that the only interest the Titan and I have in this race is watching all of you fail. I'm still shocked you managed to make it this far, demon.
>Most shocked Dastardly Duo, Bertstrips and Miser Bros. All 3 of them were hyped up since before the tourney even had a date, Bertstrips was the OP and was poll images, and the theme of the rp was centered on Dastardly. The fact none of them made it past the first half and two lost in the same round is even crazier.
>>432032 >Vriska and Zonetan (The Wicked Women) >Derby Hooves(assuming the MLP ban doesn't apply over here, I mean, Homestuck got in) and Scarlett Pendragon (Team Technically Canon) >Dr. Robotnik and Dr. Ludwig (The Mad Doctors) >John Constantine and Rick Sanchez (The Drunk Smarttalkers)
>>432021 Yes it’s definitely a terrible time but you won’t believe it but I’ve actually worked through worse. During the Christmas season of 152 AC the earth was having an extinction level event. A demon that resembled a moon of metal attempted to devour the Earth. It was only stopped thanks to 2 gods flying the moon out of the solar system and presumably destroying it as both the gods or the demon have never returned to Earth after all this time. That year due to a high amount of people on Earth perishing due to this demon I only had to give 75 gifts, a small number indeed.
>>431963 eep! >>431978 I told you my situation, deer boy. And I derive no entertainment from watching this... this - barbarous orgy that it's been! >>432027 Your highness... this is spectacular. I can sense the power... something old and... uncanny...
>>432056 Frankly I'd be fine for just this year allowing trios to circumvent that. Definitely not being a lasting thing, since I don't want people to use it as a loophole to get the same nominees in every year
You heard that, didn't you, listeners? We've just noticed a smooch!
>>432054 I had figured you'd try using those great spells of yours to get out of this situation! If it's THAT much for you, then I could call in security or even yotsuba herself to come and escort you out!
>>432027 How interesting....it absolutely explains that absence!
>>432032 I wanted to submit Quan Chi from Mortal Kombat and Drake from Drake of the 99 Dragons since both had a /co/ appearance before a /v/ appearance but since they both only appear once in their /co/ appearances (I mean Quan Chi was in the MCX comics but fuck those) they probably weren’t allowed
>>432069 Well, don't assume I haven't the powers. Leaving without the Emperor's bidding after he has told me to remain is unacceptable. And I trust this 'Yotsuba' as much as I trust yourself. She's probably a fiend of your hellish magic. >>432082 You're telling me. A bunch of pervert men, always.
>>432031 >"Heh, I thought so." >"Yeah, I remember the last stretch was gonna be the North Pole. You have presents?" >>432049 >"Wow... you think you have things hard these days, but all you gotta do is open up a history book and it really hits you how easy you have it. Mass extinction aside, I'm glad it was an easy year." >>432069 >"Huh? Hey, Al, would you mind with the microphone?" >>432073 >"Who are finally what now?!" >>432076 >>432087 >"I have literally no idea!"
To lift our spirits as we enter the gates of Hell, we should all sing Christmas songs. Maybe it will drown out the tormented screams of the eternally damned. Oh my, I don't very much like to hear those.
>>432099 >"Gee, here I thought I was just getting presents from Santa! You didn't have to do that, Jack." >>432101 >"Um... h-he meant it endearingly? Like, 'asians are good at math'?" >>432103 >>432089 >"Hey come on, you guys don't gotta report on every little thing you know." >>432106 >"That sounds like a great idea Pip, but also a good question for when Al gets back. Do demons celebrate Christmas down here? You know... it being Hell and all I figure they're not all that excited about Jesus' birthday."
>>432103 Don't presume about my taste in girls, deer boy. >>432104 I.. I can go? Thank you, your highness! Thank you immensely! I've learned so much from this experience! A-and I'll never fail you again!
So now, that coffee was a bust. And to think I was going to spread it to the Isles... and why did that demon have to bring up Luz again? She was in the tournament and I didn't even... whatever. Well, I have this seashell necklace, strand of hair, and this black booklet... Forgive me Hexside, but I have to try... >exit Amity
If jackiefag(s) is still screwing around the wrong tournament next year there might be some undead love.
>>431828 The side that will jettison you into the River Styx if you betray their goals, henchman!
>>431921 Yes, indeed. We've entered near the beginning of the end-game. Our Henchmen must be ready to move out in droves if we're to take the phony pair of Saint Nicolas's.... Saint Nicolae? Whatever the plural is. Our primary disadvantage is I'm coming to recognize the power the holiday season gives these two alongside the one true Klaus. Overcoming this seasonly bonus will take both our guile, Shake. I know quite a few annoying guys who should be in Hell, who are you referring to?
>>432069 >>432076 >>432022 ...well shit, there's $100 I owe 21 right out of my pocket. Well done on your first pity kiss, Spicer, I hope the upcoming round won't be all too awkward trying to control your raging hard-on. If it lasts for more than four hours, I have a number you can call.
>>432106 Normally I wouldn't care what you all decided to sing Pip, but considering who we're up against I'm worried going along with the festivities may yield Jack and the Grinch a morale boost we do shouldn't afford.
>>432093 >>432093 Seems pastebin is effectively kill because of the SMART filters (an automatic word filter). For now you should copy the pastebins to a text file and add a new Dropbox folder called “pastebins” and highlight this in the OP next time. There a number of other sites that can host text but I would wait until you see a number of generals and other threads also use it since there could be a number of new potential problems or loss of information. For now, just use google docs for new ones and remember to save new texts in the pastebin folder.
>Howard: Praise be the gods of the city of gold! Miguel and Tulio drop the sun on Hilda and Twig! >Kreese: Kind of reminds me of America after pearl harbor. They attacked something small and America dropped the sun on them twice. And just like then it's still awesome to see an giant ass explosion!
>>432125 >Pastebin used a filter to detect "offensive content" and set it to private automatically. >Account Users can still see their pastes that were flagged. >Essentially anything with a guest account is now 403 Forbidden or 404'd.
>>431757 *Dastardly's planes fly through the portal. In search of the remaining racers among the fiery, hellscape. Knowing that whatever damage they may cause, this world would not appear as though they had even arrived.*
>>432132 Excellent! Soon those racers will be left stranded! Not that the Dappers would probably care, but still! Oh, why, oh why didn't I just do this all those years ago!? Then I could have had the whole track to myself, run a few laps, and give myself the damn trophy!
What's that? Santa Clause and a bunch of racers are making their way through jolly old Hell for Christmas? Well darn, why didn't anyone say anything? Come on, guys, lets give these speedsters a good ol' fashioned Hell welcome show them how we do Christmas in the nine circles!
Christmas Time In Hell String up the lights and light up the tree We're gonna make some revelry Spirits are high, so I can tell It's Christmas time in Hell
Demons are nicer as you pass them by Natasha's victims made a chorus line The snow is falling and all is well It's Christmas time in Hell
There goes Jon Arbuckle Taking a festive Christmas shit After he's done eating up He will have sex with it And there goes Invader Zim's ghost Carolling with his GIR Reunited for the holidays God bless us, yes good sir! Everybody has a happy glow Let's dance in blood and pretend it's snow Even Chris McLean is under the spell It's Christmas time in Hell
God cast me down from heaven's door To rule in Hell forever more But now I'm kinda glad that I fell 'Cos it's Christmas time in Hell Here's a rack to hang the stockings on We still have to shop for Ramses' Son Alastor's hair sure looks swell It's Christmas time in Hell
Hey look there goes Jackie Holding burning mistletoe Over poor Dan Vs' head Just watch his weenie grow For one day we all stop burning And the flames are not so thick All the screaming and the torture stops As we wait for old St Nick So, string up the lights and light up the tree We're damned for all eternity But for just one day, all is well It's Christmas time in Hell
Get a toast together for all our sins We've gotta make room for Mr. Wilkins Wake his mother and ring the bell It's Christmas time (Christmas time, Christmas time, Christmas time) Christmas time (Christmas time, Christmas time, Christmas time) It's Christmas time in Hell Merry Christmas, Tag-Team Tourney!
>>432147 Mr. Satan sir, how's your son doing? It's been a long time since the last time we talked. I remember the chap had me burst into flames as a gift to the little fat kid. I tried writing to him and he wrote back to me "Kill yourself" then he never replied to any of my further messages. Oh I'm dreadfully worried something happened to him.
>>432119 Whatever you want to call it Casanova, a peck on the cheek isn't anything I'd write home to your ghost-mom about in any case. ...and yeah, it really is. Knd of distracting if I'm being honest. This is why the Mighty Monarch always wears an athletic cup underneath the spandex.
>>432139 At last, we meet again, Chris McLean! I hope you're prepared to face the sting of the Mighty Monarch as I make my way through Hell itself. Wallow in despair as my flying Cocoon nears your Hotel as you cower behind its frail brimstone walls!
>>432156 *Radio is now nothing but static* Drat! Stupid machine! Well, I suppose I'll have to play the waiting game while the bombers blow them out and tie them to the depths of Hell! Then, I shall have the trophy!
>>432152 It's because they are a match and work well together as a pair. I don't agree with everyone crying about how a pair should be canon. It wasn't in the rules in the first place that teams should be canon. Stan and Krabs are great.
>>432170 Despite the heavy rping, I also enjoy the Assholish AS Duo on their own. Both are Adult Swim icons and both feel like characters that would work off eachother well with their narcissism, murderous tendencies, and power thirst.
>>432155 You do know that the hotel is highly protected, right? >>432164 Ha! I like this guy. Who is he? >>432168 I'll be taking that. I'll look into it and see if i can find anything on Simon's location. For now, you just go find Mao Mao. >>432169 Better than how the Monarch treats his wife, that's for sure.
D: MABEL MABEL MABEL MABEL MABEL MABEL MABEL MABEL MABEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! M: Jeez Dipper what is it, I'm kinda on the phone right now. D: Trust me, this is much so more important than anything you could ever possibly be talking about on that phone. M: Even better than talking about your favorite K-pop groups? D: Bill Cipher is back!!!!! M: Ok that is pretty important, but wasn't Bill eradicated for ever when uncle Stanford used his memory gun on Grunkle Stan. D: I thought so too, but I just got a call from Grunkle Stan and apparently Bill Cipher is participating in a Wacky Racers competition and their currently racing through Hell. M: Their in Hell? Wow Grunkle Stan really fell off, I wonder if he met Soos' father down there. D: Stay on track Mabel I have a theory. M: Ok ok, I'm super serious now, what theory do you have? D: When the memory gun was used on Bill it was supposed to erase him along with Grunkle Stan's mind, but we managed to actually get Grunkle Stan's memories back. That means that there is a possibility that Bill somehow came back with it. Which means...... M: We have gotta call uncle Stanford.
>>432186 This can't be right. Mao Mao and Badgerclops are heroes. They can't just... They must still be alive somewhere, since I can't see them around here, though its more likely they'd go to heaven....
>>432183 I guess that makes sense >>432188 Well if it makes you feel any better a body hasn’t been found yet meaning they’re probably still around. And even if they did bite the dust you’d still be able to see them in Hell (unless they went to Heaven in which case sorry kid)
>>432190 >>432193 You know what, you're right girl with glowing green arms! You too, red-headed man! The mummies think they can have it over the heroes of pure heart, they better think again because they didn't count on a scout in the air. Haha! It's on Bill Cipher! But first, to the jungles of Peru!
K: Good morning/afternoon/evening, SCAM investors! Wherever you happen to be! We're coming to you from one of the less red parts of hell for a pit stop. And to give our eyes a break! S: Hell? I thought this was San Francisco! K: We just wanted to remind everyone to keep voting SCAM Inc! The launch of SCAMMY+ was a roaring success, and we're breaking ground on a new project to be unveiled soon, but we need your support to pull it off! S: Yeah, nothing bad against Santa, but it's just not a good investment. He gives stuff away on a massive scale for free, and keeps costs low through a consistent use of slavery and child labor. K: Which SCAM Inc. is currently in the process of phasing out! S: Right, right. So if you want an actual return on your investment, vote SCAM Inc! K: We'll see ya at the finish line!
>>432181 D: Uncle Stanford you've gotta hear this, Bill has come ba- S: I already know Dipper, Stanley told me. I'm already trying to prepare. M: But how are you going to beat him this time? The same trick won't work twice on Bill. S: I'm aware of that, but we can still use the quantum destabilizer to send him back to the Second Dimension, I just have to get the drop on him and not miss the shot this time. D: And how do you plan on getting to Hell in the first place? S: When you get stuck across multiple dimension for years on end, you pick up a few things. Let's just say that I know an incantation that can make me a portal to hell. Picked it up from a wizard who visited Hell a few times. That's all for now, I'll update you on what happens when its' over. M: Be careful uncle Ford. D: You have nothing to worry about, I will. >The call ends
>>432111 >"Well... uh, good thing I just so happened to have the exact same idea! I'll give you your present, which I totally already have picked out, at the North Pole too." >>432118 >"You and 21 were having a bet about us? And he was betting in FAVOR? Wow, didn't know he had faith." >>432147 >"Oh. Well I guess that answers my question! Christmas in Hell is officially a thing! Don't know why I ever doubted it, I already knew even bad guys can't hate Christmas." >>432202 >"Hell is once again a surprisingly pleasant experience so far! Which is still a really weird thing to say out loud."
>>432166 The ones I've seen were more about giving them a better chance at winning, but I may have missed a lot of other discussion.
>>432158 People forget Donald and Daffy made it to the finals. Sam and Max being canon and likely the greentext oc was speculated to be that extra push needed to beat those two very popular characters.
>Kreese: The Dapper Dealers make bad things happen to those who choose Wilkins coffee! >Howard: Oh finally Wilkins is gone. This coffee tastes like rancid snatch and I only drank it to stay alive. Fuck Wilkins coffee! >Kreese: You would know what that tastes like wouldn't you.
>>432215 So... he's a GOOD rapper then? I'm still not sure I'm seeing the issue.
>>432218 Yeah, clearly I underestimated your standards, 69. I thought it would be an easy bet, but you had to go and throw the brat a bone. But it matters not! I've since convinced him to go in for double or nothing, the Monarch still has hope of victory.
>>432229 And you literally got it up! A kid pops a woody in class, you don't let him forget it.
My wife is a goddess walking among us! She's the living personification of feminine beauty, the most beautiful butterfly to ever grace you unworthy pieces of slime with her presence. I have an Aphrodite sleeping in my goddamned bed every night! Fuck your quads and fuck your gay little safespace of a Hotel, THE MONARCh WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!
>>432237 >Fuck your quads and fuck your gay little safespace of a Hotel, THE MONARCh WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! Beautiful, I can hear it all in his voice. I just want the Monarch to win it all bros. He deserves this
>>432213 Apparently this Tulio guy think's he some sort of big shot huh. We'll its time to show that shabby god who's boss. However, me and the gang can also have a little fun while were here. >opens a portal from the second dimension to hell Henchmaniacs, Hell is ours for the taking, go free and cause some mayhem, and after this dumb race is over the universe is next.
One of the Henchmaniacs: Why are you a cat? > Bill leaves Samantha's body and fires a laser that kills the Henchmaniac
I don't know, why are you dead? I'm kind of bored with the cats anyway, one of you guys can eat them.
>>432229 >"Y-YEP! Same here, heh..." >"...I hope shopping in Hell is decent." >>432237 >"...gee thanks but I think my standards are fine, sir." >"You got 21 to go in on double or nothing? What's the new bet?" >>432246 >"Oh, right, you mentioned the others were way worse. Guess we all get to find out by just how much. Ones who aren't racing anymore get to just watch from a nice safe distance, right?"
>Kreese: The North Pole express give the queen's finest a early holiday and a Christmas bonus! >Howard: What do you want for Christmas Kreese? >Kreese: You with a broken jaw if you start singing that song.
>>432265 Dick Dasterdly? >>432267 Look at Chris, safe in the knowledge that his own diary was returned to him by an orphaned girl, mocking a young boy with a crush. Maybe that experience with the psycho gas damaged him in the womb
>>432239 Yeah, cause that's what I'm named after: the famous 'monarch moth'. Don't change the subject, you manipulative prick, APOLOGIZE TO DR. MRS. THE MONARCH OR FEEL MY FURIOUS STING!
>>432243 Oh piss off, we have separate beds in the Cocoon, Spicer!
>>432246 If that sniveling reality show hack keeps insulting my Queen, I don't care if he was behind Heaven's gates, Alastor! Even if I have to check into the Hotel myself, I'll strangle the living daylights out of him!
>>432251 No way, I'm not just gonna flat out say our agreement so you two could screw me out of $200. Just keep doing what you're doing and I'm confident things will go in my favor this time.
>>432252 ...my God, I'm starting to see your point. Alright, the moment the spider makes even a twinge in our direction, all cannons are primed to squash it.
>>432263 To beings like you he’s unkillable, but in the presence of a god he’s just like the rest of you >>432268 Seems you underestimate what you don’t understand mortal, you wish to be informed by the Chaos Bringer himself?
>>432271 *Dick Dastardly is not present within the planes, but many of his robotic henches are. They observe the fire, and decimated metropolis with trepidation, but, programming is programming. Their metal fingers slowly reach for several multi-coloured buttons on the dashboard as they descend lower.*
>>432178 I am Coconuts, the greatest creation of the genius Dr. Robotnik. Nice to meet you Christian McLean Chandler. >>432272 Keep seething about the fact your wife is a fake tranny >>432252 Okay Shake. >>432144 Here's 5 bucks! Do your magic.
>>432268 >"Well I only got today and tomorrow to find something and I don't think there's going to be a good mall in the Peruvian jungle! Also a gift from Hell sounds like something Jack would be into. Supervillains and all that." >"What kind of attention are we talking about? Is it the kind bullets work on?" >>432272 >"...cut me in on some of the take and maaaaaybe I can rig it?" >>432282 >"AAAH! Can we seriously not go one track without explosions?!"
>>432298 Don't forget: >Most of the detectives are dead or missing >Samantha a damsel in distress but there's no one left to rescue her and her daughter Ms. Mumbles >Shake faces his nightmare; Tulio now a god >Chris looks up where his grandparents are at while the girls who vowed to slay them are likely watchin This is going to be a hell of an evening, no pun
>>432297 Of course, my son. You are usually right, and an ambush is the best course of action. Undead! We are moving to the other portal! By the sound of it, whatever comes out, there won;t be much left of them. So, this should be quite simple.
>>432278 FUCK, I meant me and Shake had separate... just go hug your body pillow or something, you freaking smartass! And I said I'm not fudging the bet! >>432281 I don't care if she was in another freakin' dimension, apologize and beg for her forgiveness and perhaps the Monarch shall show leniency! >>432284 You again?! Didn't I land my freaking Cocoon on yo-... right, we're in Hell. Robots can go to Hell? Robots have souls?! And in your freaking dreams! My wife is 100% all natural female, you jealous little simpanzee. >>432288 Hah, nice try but no deal. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna need your help on this one 69. This time it's in the bag. >>432301 It feels pretty good, my young Pip, it feels pretty good indeed. The frogs are dealt with and next we shall deal with the phony Santas... and Chris mother-fucking McLean. Watch and learn Pip, you're about to see first hand how a supervillain handles it when it's personal. >>432293 >>432282 AH! Fuck, it's starting move! All cannons, open fire, show that spider the power of the Cocoon- Wait. Something's wrong. Are we under attack?! I hear impact shells outside, what's hitting us?!
>>432305 You're looking at it, technically. You see, once i got down here i noticed i got a few demonic powers. One of them i'm using right now. I have changed my appearance with an illusion to look like my old human self. This face is how people recognize me so i'm keeping it.
>>432310 What do you mean you hear impact shells? Is this an excuse to get out of your ass whooping? That's it pussy, I challenge you to a rap bat- >Bomb falls on MC Pee Pants, killing him >His diaper flies into Monarch
>>432310 OK, fine. To Mrs. The Monarch, if you're listening to this, i am so, so sorry. Sorry that your husband can't satisfy you in bed. You should hook up with my good pal Chef. He knows how to treat a lady.
You'll find that a majority of people down here include those who enjoy cutting others open and those that like to force themselves upon anyone they find cute in a more..egh..."sexual manner", like the filthy degenerates they are!
>>432295 Since we might not make it out of this alive, I'll tell you a long one. "Oh I cower, I hope she doesn't think I like golden showers. I hit the wrong tab, I was trying to hail a cab" Little brother Jack's going to be pissed, literally.
>>432310 >"Aw phooey. Fine, if 21 wins again I bet he'd split the money with us." >>432320 >"W-what?! I mean... as nice as it is, it IS Hell so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. But you're saying there are demons right where people shop who in broad hellish daylight would try to h*ld my h*nd?" >>432295 >"Oh crap oh crap oh crap somebody save the shops at least, I really need Hell's precious commercial district!"
>>432310 He's not dead, I checked my list. Neither are his infernal brothers. They just followed you guys into here because of their extreme loneliness and needing for attention father Robotnik never gave them. And it looks like someone never heard of the robot devil.
>>432330 We need to meet up so we can strategize. I think it's too dangerous to do any now. It seems like Batkek has no plans on backing out of his fight with Ramses, and by the sound of it, it's gonna be huge.
>>432313 SHIT! Take evasive maneuvers, all Henchmen to battle stations! Find who would dare to take a hot explosive dump on the Monarch's lair and show them retribution! >>432317 GAAAGGGGH! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! >>432318 >>432329 I'll deal with you two later when Hell isn't freaking blowing up, but in short reply: screw both of you. >>432319 Chris, by all the powers of Hell I will drag you out of that Hotel and use you as a human shield from this aerial bombardment! You DARE to make mockery of the Monarch's unparalleled talent in the bedroom?!
>>432342 I want Henchmen in the skies! Alastor's given us an opening, take to our flying namesake and fill the skies of Hell with orange fluttering wings, Minions, attack! Destroy the bombers before there's nothing left of the Cocoon!!!