>Wilkins Poster here. Truth be told, I was mostly here for Dan, he was the guy I was primarily backing, and I was setting it up for Dan to be the one to defeat him and Vriska.
>I don't really have any interest in continuing now, Dan was the guy I was mostly using, Wilkins is just a sideshow I never really gave a shit about, hence why I ignored him last round, so...eh........
>>430741 >>430754 Ha!! Looks like little Danny boy failed to save his little Mr. Mumbles after all. The idiot probably just got himself stuck in hell for eternity. All that's left is to just take care of Mao Mao and Jerry.
I'm so proud of how my last nomination's, Jessica and Roger's, matches went. Not only did they go farther than expected, their match up with Wallace and Gromit was really really close. I really thought they'd lose by a lot more.
Yet again congratulations Oswald, who would’ve thought just by teaming up with your little brother you’d succeed this far. If I was your father I’d be super proud of you but I’m not your father I’m just a guy that uses belts the wrong way
>Howard: And we are back are going into round 4! Unfortunately we were not able to see all the matches for round two but we were able to see the ones for round three! >Kreese: That tends to happen when you have to attend two tournaments at the same time. >Howard: Let's go to the replay!
>>430804 >Uh, Vriska was gonna end up betraying him and giving the power to Dan in my original plan, possibly with the help of Gamma Rae. Then I was gonna hype up Dan and Mao Mao's rivarly again with the hopes it would be enough to carry us to the finale.
>>430622 The Church of Wilkins Coffee has been flourishing and my beloved Shuma Gorath has been the best possible Lovecraftian Deity a girl could ask for. I hope I can marry him soon.
>>430681 Well I guess it'll be up to me to become the new Krampus. Only instead of punishing bad kids, I instead take away their ability to masturbate by wiping their memory of it. They'll feel something's missing but not know what it is. That'll really show them.
>>430693 Maybe he's raising his pinky to be polite while drinking Wilkins coffee
>>430717 I always figured I'd end up here one day. Anyone wanna roast marshmallows?
>>430783 >>430795 >"Crap oh crap oh crap oh crap why does the Monarch only load the guns he gives us with darts that have zero effect on metal thingies?!" >>430796 >"Mr. Krampus, we got to get you and Pip someplace safe!"
You want the truth? He was supposed to get a "Dr. Facilier death." as a mockery of him.
Like, he lost, he's like "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY OFF MY DEBT TO MS SERKET NOW?" and she "ARE YOU READY'S?" him down into hell. Like the joke was Wilkins got way out of his league and was really pathetic.
Then when that didn't work out I planned for Dan to kill him, the joke was gonna be that Vriska thought his name was Wilkin Coffee(6 letters each) and when she finds out his name doesn't fit the template she makes Dan her new force, which he goes with fine, and ends up out-eviling her.
>Howard: Wilkins and Wonkins show Tom and Jerry what happens when you don't try delicious Wilkins coffee! >Kreese: Don't you think that boiling them alive in a piping hot vat of Wilkins coffee was a bit much? >Howard: There is no mercy for those who don't partake in Wilkins coffee!
>>430808 And what can you do? You couldn't save your lover, the contestants when the clown bomb when off, your rival, and even your own tail. Face it your pathetic. You can't save anyone, and you certainly won't be able to save yourself.
>Mighty and Powerful Gods >Dapper Dealers (I'm sorry but I haven't been paying attention to the RPing, I had no fucking clue who Wilkins was before Mr. /co/) >The Power of Two >Copper Couple >Goofy Goobers >North Pole Express >Duality of Frog (this one was so fucking hard to decide) >Fake Santas
>>430875 Master Shake, what do you want to bet trips are decent enough numbers to land this Cocoon squarely on top of a certain mechanical simian pissant fucking with the wrong supervillain's henchmen?
Monarch's henchmen, ASSEMBLE! We are in our toughest battle yet against the frogs. We will pull through. They may break our bones, they may break our spirits, but we....uh....we....DAMMIT JUST VOTE FOR ME AND MONARCH!
>>430887 >"Hey! I'm gonna tell on Santa on you!" >>430875 >"EEP! Guess not..." >>430888 >"....that should hopefully get the job done though." >>430892 >"Wow. Has Mr. The Monarch been giving Shake lessons? That was actually pretty close..."
Racing Log Day... 4? I think it's 4. I think I missed 3 either that or it's lost. Nothing really happened in day 3 anyways. All we did was meet a sexually charged robot that scatted everywhere using his partner as his car. It was weird but hey they were only going after the gay couple. Then came the puppets.... yeah the puppets were horrifying. I never seen so much degeneracy in my life. Either way I am calling it Day 4.
It's getting harder for us to find rest spots and the race tracks are staring to look more apocalyptic. I really don't know what is going on at this point. Me and Mick are both just driving. From what I've heard from the other racers we're now a part of the Top 16. Which is amazing. I never thought I would get this far. Especially with everything that is going on. It really is starting to freak me out a bit.
Um... I really am starting to miss my family. I've been wearing the wrestling suit the kids made and the mittens and scarves that Ortensia made for me. They really make me feel less homesick. I'm really glad Minnie is letting them stay over at her house to watch the races.
I would like to say thank you /co/ for helping us get that far. I really hope Mickey holding up well. He really seems to be shaking a bit.
>>430864 >Shakes Wilkins hand Its nice to meet a fellow god Mr. Wilkins, you seem like a well adjusted fellow. Now if you'll excuse me, my friend and I are just about to get out of here. >Snatches a bunch of Wilkins coffee bags
Stan Pines gazed at the subtle wake left by the S.S. Cheapskate. It was an old boat once used for fishing on open water, but had now been repurposed to serve as a racing vehicle. Specifically, they had painted "SCAM Inc." on the side in big letters. He turned to his partner. "Can't this thing go any faster?"
To Stan's annoyance, Mr. Krabs was relaxing on a lounge chair and sipping from a tall glass of lager. "Don't worry," the old crab assured him, "Those other racers don't know a thing about navigating on open water. They're probably going in circles as we speak!" He took an excessive swig of his drink.
"Can we at least start the engine? We've been out here for almost an hour. We're never gonna reach the finish line at th-" He was cut off by the roar of a hovercraft overhead. It was the Chum Bucket, who had just overtaken them. Plankton's voice rang out from a speaker attached to his vehicle.
"Just thought I'd stop by to check up on my old business partner. See you at the finish line, Krabs! Eh he ha ha ha!"
At the words the stingy crustacean bolted up in his seat. "Plankton!" he bellowed, before turning to his teammate. "Well, what are ye standin' there for? Start the engine, we'll never reach the finish line at this rate!" ---------- Spongebob Soundtrack - Dangerous A
Elsewhere, the shadow of a great blimp swallowed the water's surface. It was the imposing form of DICK AIR, piloted by the down but not out Dick Dastardly. "Those fools, kicking me out of the competition!" he mumbled feverishly. "I might not be able to win this race, but I can certainly run it into the ground!" He raised his voice to a shout. "Muttley! Release the clams!"
A great hatch opened on the underside of the mighty airship. From it spilled forth a plethora of underfed clams eager to eat the remaining racers. Dick cackled to himself as the beasts fanned out, until a passing gust carrying the Miser duo tipped his ride off course. ---------- "We've got giant clams inbound!"
"So? Do something about it!", the poultry-based automaton barked to his drill-handed friend. "Surely there must be something on this submarine that can take of them!" The submarine in question was Robotnik's Getaway Submarine, Getaway Getaway Sub-marine, which had been borrowed for the purposes of traversing the aquatic terrain.
Grounder examined the control panel before him. Each button was labeled with a fitting yet frustratingly vague symbol. This wasn't an issue though, as Grounder knew exactly what button he was looking for. "How about the electricity cannon?"
"Perfect!" Scratch's grin grew wide and devious. "Fire when ready!"
Grounder slammed his drill-hand on the button. Towards the front of the ship, a large cannon emerged, charged, and fired. Needless to say, activating an electric cannon underwater was not a very good idea. Though the clams were repulsed, the static waves spread outward throughout the water. Scratch and Grounder, being stationed directly at ground zero, received the brunt of the blast. When they next surfaced, both they and their vehicle were covered in soot. ---------- "Ye better hold onto somethin!" the panicked crab cried to his conman companion. "This clams is awful feisty! I got a plan though!" He swung a fishing line over his head, carefully considering the trajectory and force needed. With a mighty heft he tossed the hook, landing it right on the rearmost point of plankton's craft.
Plankton felt a jolt as he took on the extra weight of Eugene's freighter. His ship wasn't all that big, as he was the size of a blade of grass and Karen was confined to a flashdrive by his side. Krabs had pulled him to a standstill.
"You ever fought a clam before?" Krabs asked. He turned to his partner at the wheel, who gave a nod in response. "Then show that scurvy dog what for while I take care of the runt!" He began hauling Plankton's cruiser towards the deck.
It happened at once: the clam leapt forth from the waves as Stan met it in midair with a mighty uppercut. It fell back into the fold from whence it came and was met with a blast of electricity from a source we couldn't possibly even begin to guess.
Plankton attempted to eject himself from his vehicle, but he had already been pulled down to sea level. His pod flew from the fist he once called his ride and landed on the SS Cheapskate. Before the little green man could even process what had happened, he found himself gripped by the claws of a smug crustacean.
"Look, we're both adults here, right?" he pleaded, "Why don't we both go back to driving and forget this whole thing ever happened?" His offer fell on deaf ears. Mr. Krabs turned his rival towards the sea, and flicked the screaming single-cell into the blue folds of the waves. -------- 8. Pumpkin Party in Sea Hitler's Water Apocalypse - Homestuck Vol. 9
Lay-deez and Gennelmun, we return once more to the /co/ Tag Team Tournament! Round 3 saw our 32 racers scoot across the waters of Bikini Atoll. And while the previous round's losers enjoy a bonfire celebration down below, you all get to see the winners and get splashed by them as they pass. Don't complain, you knew those cheap tickets were too good to be true. Thankfully none of our Irken racers made it this far into the competition or they would be having a horrible time right now!
Right, right, the racers. Here they come now! In first place is the North Pole Express. Wilkins takes second, but honestly he might was well be a team of one. Wontkins ain't looking to good there, I think he might need a transfusion or something. SCAM Inc. sails into third, looking especially cheerful even though their boat is a complete piece of shit. It's the Divine Miguel and Tulio in fourth, with track darlings WALL-E and EVE in fifth.
The Disney Duo takes 6th, with the Heroes of Pure Heart earning 7th. Queen's finest in 8th and Duality of Frog in 9th. Waves are getting quite rough out there, be careful. Fake Santas fly into 10th.
Wander Over Sylvia rides into 11th, and the Dapper Dealers ride into 12th. The Goofy Goobers show off their sea legs by taking 13th. Home field advantage does wonders, you know. Trolberg Jumpers in 14th, but they're bringing a strong wind with them. Mayhaps they pissed off some weather deities? Don't know where they'd find those though. Assholish AS Duo take 15th, and the Cracking Cheese Lovers finish in 16th after demonstrating difficulties with their lack of waterproofing. Can you believe we're already done? These rounds are getting short! Ah well, I'm sure a bunch of shit happened that I didn't see.
And yep, there goes the audience. Completely capsized. Hoo, we're gonna need a lot of refunds to patch that up. I'd better end this before things escalate any further. Join us tomorrow when our racers take a trip down to H-E-double stockings. You'll find it all on the way-out Wacky Races. Signing off!
>>430924 1 North Pole Express 76 2 Wilkins 74.7 3 SCAM Inc. 70.7 4 Mighty and Powerful Gods 66.7 5 Copper Couple 64 6 Power of 2 62.7 7 Heroes of Pure Heart 62.7 8 Queen's Finest 60 9 Duality of Frog 60 10 Fake Santas 58.7 11 Wander Over Sylvia 57.3 12 Dapper Dealers 57.3 13 Goofy Goobers 56 14 Trolberg Jumpers 54.7 15 Assholish AS Duo 54.7 16 Cracking Cheese Lovers 50.7
I'll admit, I might have bitten off more than I can chew for this one. It's not incomplete or anything, I just think I could've done the second segment with SCAM Inc. better but I wrote it in one go 20 minutes back. This is probably the most ambitious things will get cause I'll be busy over the next few days but I'll have enough time to at least write an announcement.
>>430917 We will Miguel what did he mean by eventual payment? I think he knows everything, so let's try and play along. We've decided to stay for a while longer so as to monitor that the tournament goes on uninterrupted by any ungodly forces.
>>430903 Hey Gwen, could you help with a thing? We need a mortal's assistance very very badly
Seacons you have done well stealthily sabotaging this round, you even helped take out the highest seed. Decepticons the Constructicons are nearly done with the Decepticon Doomsday Weapon but it still needs more parts
>>430937 >"Wuh-oh...!" >>430934 >"Save that for later! Running time now!" >>430915 >"Don't worry about me, just swing by and pick up Pip and Mr. Krampus, we can chill back at the campfire!" >>430926 >"Sorry Mr. Gods, I'll be with you in just a sec!"
>>430923 I'm actually little nervous about this one. Honestly didn't expect Wilkins to get this far, but we should still be able to pull through well enough. By the way, what are your opinions on Wilkin's coffee? Does it seem like something we should drink. >Pets Mr. Mumbles while contemplating what he should do with him.
Reminder that if your duo wins this round then they can't be nominated together next year. Hence why I voted Bill Cipher and Alastor, because at least Bill and Al can be paired again with separate beings, while you can't easily pair Wilkins with someone other than Wontkins.
>>430877 Danger Mouse hasn't had a single update in 2 years and rarely gets threads on /co/ so Secret Fanservice not only qualifying but also getting half the votes SCAM Inc did in round 1 shows people don't just vote for what they know
Hell I can say personally I've never watched Xiaolin Showdown or The Year Without Santa but I've been supporting the characters from them the whole time. If this is the first time you've nominated your characters then it's normal for them to lose, don't take it to heart and be cynical about it m8 they'll probably do much better next year
Both: Hahahahahaha! K: Eugene Krabs here! Cofounder and CEO of Sea Crab and Man Incorporated! S: Stan Pines here! Cofoun- aw screw it. You know who we are! K: AND more importantly, we know who YOU are! NOT just because our Scamdroid phones monitor your activity to improve your experience, because we recognize ALL our loyal investors! This is all thanks to YOU! S: And if you thought you were excited before, get ready. We're one round away from the Elite 8. At that point, the return on your investment becomes, as my niece would say, absofabulicious! K: What. S: Never mind! You know the drill by now, SCAM faithful. Reinvest your vote in SCAM Inc! We'll even take former Chum Bucket investors! We'll make you the money old Plankton couldn't! K: We're running all the old deals to make sure we make E8, AND those who invest in this round will get EARLY ACCESS to SCAM Inc.'s upcoming streaming service, Scammy+! Also Spongebob vote for me or YOU'RE FIRED! S: You know what to do SCAMmers! Cast that vote for SCAM Inc., Both: And we'll see you in the Elite 8! S: I'm coming for you Bill haha! I'm coming for you! Look out!
>>430958 As someone who liked the Wilkins content, I'm half glad, because it sounds like he was planning to give him a bitchy death and Wilkins is too fun for that.
But at the same time, I feel kinda bad. He put alot of time and effort(especially last Round) into Dan, and he gets overshadowed by a shitpost he made in Round 1 and 2 that he tried to abandon. Funny, but kinda sad
>>430949 Best of luck with that. Hopefully you three can get to Ramses before Batkek does, he's planning something, mark my words. Meanwhile, Badgerclops and I are going to have to do our best against the fake Santas. Doubtless we will lose. Tis the season after all.
>>430947 >"Alright, hopefully THAT should take care of it. For once, remembering explosions don't work so well underwater should actually be a good time to question cartoon physics." >"Thanks for saving the day again back there Jack, you alright?" >>430926 >"Okay, NOW I think we got a minute. You were asking for something, Mr. God? Congrats on your win over Mrs. The Monarch by the way, even though I think Mr. The Monarch's gonna take that pretty hard when he comes out of the Cocoon..."
>>430941 >Tulio sees the Allspark Hey, what's this blue glowy thing you guys have got? >A piece breaks off and stabs him in the thumb, burrowing under his skin immediately after Oh geez, hope that wasn't dangerous-errr I mean, dangerous by a mere mortal's standards anyways.
>>430956 If you believe in our holy power, we'll ensure that you get second place.
Slag, I thought Shockwave said the Allspark wasn’t fragile. Eh what’s this? >>430977 Seems that Allspark shard has imbedded itself into this human. I’d destroy him if I wasn’t curious to see what an artifact from Primus does to a human.
>>430995 >Basil and Ratigan politely insulting each other throughout the tourney >Basil joining the Mao Mao/Ian/Blacksad/Weekly team >Ratigan being the villain >Ratigan being a rat joke spreads throughout the tourney with Ratigan becoming increasingly unhinged A sprinkle of good RP with Basil and Ratigan's star power would have been amazing
>>430974 Ok so Gwen Me and Miguel are not gods. We thought we could make a fortune off of the Wilkin's coffee but it seems like Wilkins figured it out from the very start. We've seen that you seem to have the ability to do things, such as disappearing from one place to the next without explanation and pulling people's words out of their mouths in the form of weird, word balloon type stuff. We're asking you to teach us how to do this and in return you can have a cut of the profits from the Wilkins coffee
>>430983 HA! You mistake gods for humans, it shows just how ignorant you really are Decepticon! Although, my hand won't stop glowing blue, dunno what's up with that.
>>430975 >"Nothing serious except my heart. Poor ol' Mr. Krampus didn't deserve that, and I can't imagine how Pip is doing right now..." >"Mr. The Monarch better have a talk with him after he comes out of the Cocoon." >>430977 >"Hey, Mr. God?" >>430974 >>431003 >"Dude what are you MADE of?!"
>>431010 >I think Basil and Ratigan got nominated in one of the /co/ threads that got nuked but didn't get nominated on plus4chan Absolute travesty. I never even saw their nomination or otherwise I would have supported.
>>431014 >>431014 Seems like we're out of options so it couldn't hurt >Tulio sticks his hand out, only for a blue death beam to shoot out of his hand and blow up one of the competitors cars WHAT THE FU- I mean, that was just a demonstration of our godly power. Do not blasphemy me again or I'll do a whole lot worse
>>431017 >>431022 >>431024 He did leave the Infinity Train along with the others. But so far I think only Blacksad and Weekly have escaped getting clowned from the end of that round since the others warned them
What was up with that Simon guy, John? Why didn't you shoot him?
It's because he needs help, not a coffin. I've seen many of his kind in the past; a nice young man going down the wrong path and into madness. Usually the stories end the same; either a bullet to the head or put in a jail cell. I didn't want him to be another one.
Voted >Queen's Finest: Jerry Lewis and Alfred Pennyworth >Mighty and Powerful Gods: Miguel and Tulio >Assholish AS Duo: Monarch and Master Shake >Fake Santas: Jack Skellington and The Grinch >Bad Things Seem to Happen to People Who Don't Vote Wilkins: Wilkins and Wontkins >SCAM Inc: Mr Krabs and Stanley Pines >Cracking Cheese Lovers: Wallace and Gromit >The Power of Two: Mickey Mouse and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit This was the easiest selection yet
>>431051 Like someone else said Pepe wouldn't have gotten this far without Kermit. Also kind of feel this way about Monarch and Shake but I can't decide which of them is the weak link since they both never do well in Mr. /co/.
>>431051 SCAM Inc. >staying power of krabs plus niche anons who like Stan Power of Two >staying power of Mickey plus Oswald being a meme underdog of /co/ by now Duality of Frog >definitely Kermit Dapper Dealers >90% Bill, though Alastor has good RP no one cares about Vizzie stuff Everyone else is about equal in popularity.
>>431052 >Not voting Trolberg Jumpers >Bad taste Pick one Beyond that, Tulio and Miguel are great. Also, I like Dapper Dealers, but I won't lie when I say that the Hazbin character is kind of what leads me to Wilkins. I don't care about Hazbin Hotel honestly.
>>431006 >"What the what?! Y-you're not really gods?! But you had a religion and everything! You promised me infinite comic books and ice-cream in the afterlife, that was all lies?!" >"A-and how do you know about that other stuff?! I was working so hard to keep all that under the radar up 'till now..."
>>431013 >"He's a really tough little guy, and technically he already saw one death this tourney... which is probably still one death too many but maybe he'll be able to wither it." >"Huh... lots of guys seem to die around Pip..."
>>431039 >"Hey Al! Congratulations on another win, though I really hope you're prepared for this next one: Wilkins coffee has been really scary this whole Tourney." >"Yeah, he sure has... I hope he's not taking it too hard, I know he really doesn't like to see her lose."
>>431042 But I thought you weren't afraid to use your gun.
I'm not. Believe me, I considered doing it. But the memory of how happy he was at his wedding reminded me of the nice young man that is still inside of him. It would hurt me to be the one to end the life of someone who has so much potential in the world and who still has so much life to live.
>>431070 I never watched it and I'm not interested. >>431068 I actually picked Dapper Dealers all the way until this round where I picked Wilkins because I had little interest in their previous competitors.
Goddamn, we land straight on top of the guy and he keeps freaking going? Either I've not been giving Robotnik enough credit, or Not-Chris is right and repeating digits aren't worth a lick of shit here.
Anyways, MINIONS! My apologies for the delay. When I first heard the news of my wife's loss, I was as you might expect, unimaginably furious. On another day, I would have immediately burst over the Cocoon's audio speakers, verbally castrated every one of your for your utter failure to see Mrs. The Monarch through the ocean blue, and then threaten to have each of you skinned and laid out across every hallway like a collection of butterfly-man rugs if I lost the next. But for some reason, today's events have left me... temperate. I feel the unwavering fury build up within and it just, doesn't explode like it usually would under these conditions. So instead of reminding you all of how worthless you were, first I saw to my Henchmen coming under attack by some rogue robotic reject of the Egg Man's second-rate division, and then I tended to my wife over a very long phone-call, and talked for what honestly feels like the longest time in a long time.
I don't really know what to say but, I'm not quite as blind with sheer rage as I thought I would be. Oh I'm livid, don't you forget that for a minute, and the gods Tulio and Miguel WILL be captured, crucified, and then paraded around the entire track for this transgression. But for now, I'm just happy to say my Queen will be returning to your Cocoon soon, and me and Shake are still going strong into, from what I last heard was, the gates of Hell itself. So, as the cup put it best it himself: just vote for me and Shake, and tomorrow we shall ALL dine on frog-legs. In the meantime, I can't believe I'm saying this, but if feels like I have even more pressing matters to attend to than the next leg of the race.
Someone point me in the direction of Pip, I heard the boy had quite an experience.
>>431070 Not them I just didn't care for it for the bog standard reasons. >color palette is too ugly and limited >everyone is the same shade of skinny twink but some have tits >Charlie is genuinely annoying and I don't find "the princess of hell wants to do good" an interesting angle >bad designs >Vaggie exists for some reason >takes place in hell but a lot of the character designs feel uninspiring and inconsistent because Vivzie just took her DA OCs from 2009 and dumped them into the setting >the songs are awful I heard Helluva is better but it just stars another red/white/pink twink who is getting fucked by another twink and I'm not interested in that. I actually don't know anything about Vivzie as a person outside of what /co/ regurgitates about her so I'm not going to attack someone I know shit about. Alastor really is the strongest character in the show but even I find him irritating to look at sometimes.
>>431067 >"Yeah, darn... guess you were right on that one. I just don't get it, who would just go around telling people they're mighty and powerful gods when they're really not? >"I don't really wanna just avoid him either, he said he doesn't have any friends who don't beat him senselessly. I think he should have at least one or two." >>431075 >>431039 >"Awww... sir are you more worried about Pip than the race? It's a Christmas miracle!" >"Sorry about Mrs. The Monarch falling out of the race, sir, we all tried our hardest for her. But you're handling it really well, I think after the end of the last tourney it makes her a lot happier to just hear you talk to her." >"I'm not really sure where Pip went off to, though."
>>431093 >"Huh. Yeah, I guess that is a pretty long list. Still though, rude!" >"Oh! Right, just before everything went crazy I noticed there was a lot of mistletoe flying around everywhere, thought that was weird. SCAM Inc. did that? Were they trying to wrap you up in some marketing thing?"
>>431115 >Yeah I kind of started that and the Dan poster rolled with it at some point I was the Dan/Wilkins poster the whole time, YOU'VE JUST BEEN DILKINSED! I did the Vriska dialogue at the end of the qualifiers that started it along with the Wilkins dialogue at the start of round 1.
----------------- Anyway guys I'm thankful for the kind words, I kinda feel bad for leaving you Wilkins guys in the dust there, but I'm a man of my word. Just wanted to check in
>>431119 >"Wow. Well, credit where it's due, dumping a blimp full of mistletoe shows dedication." >"It's too bad Coconuts had to shoot Mr. Krampus right then, that would have been a perfect moment!" >>431110 >"The French aren't all that bad, Pip. I know a really cool French guy with a sweet mustache."
>>430892 Not bad, not bad. Thanks for stepping up to rally the troops while I was consoling my wife. But a few tips: try replacing 'our bones' with 'your bones', you don't want to give the Henchmen the wrong impression of who's bones will be the first to break. And try reading a thesaurus or something, a good inspiration villain speech needs a vast, preferably alliterative vile vocabulary to truly sound menacing. >>431087 Yeah yeah, look don't start up with the Christmas lesson nonsense already 69, I'm in a good mood that may or may not have anything to do certain charitable acts, let's just leave it at that. And, thanks, I'll pass that along to the Mrs. You and that permavirgin handled yourself pretty well earlier againsat Robotnik's chimp in my absence, good work. >>431133 Fuck off, I'm a great role model!
>>431110 Hey, there he is. How you doing kiddo, sorry it took me so long to get here, The Monarch had a little business earlier to take care of. Heard you had a rough afternoon, first kidnapping and all that?
>>431134 >"Yeah, I probably would. Not sure what his angle is, but that was pretty cool of him to at least try and help. Plus if he's willing to go that far I'm kind of curious to see what else that crazy old guy can come up with." >>431138 >>431141 >"Um... well, he did get pretty bullet wound-y, but he's also not exactly human so I don't know if that's as bad as it looks. There was a lotta blood though..."
>>431143 Al, buddy, friend: are you trying to imply Shake is more mild than I am? The dude's a freaking mental case in cylindrical form! But, if you're asking for an update on how we're progressing, God help me I think we're actually doing alright. Maybe I'm slowly losing my mind from prolonged exposure to whatever chemical granted him life, but being on the other side of his constant jabs sort of lets me appreciate the humor. And so long as it's not one of his 'custom' albums his choice in music is growing on me.
As far as my reaction to my wife's elimination, it's strange. I've always been able to harness my hatred for every injustice this contest constantly visits upon me and my Cocoon, and it's definitely THERE but I don't know, I just haven't felt it bubbling up and exploding like it usually does. Between being able to just hold a conversation with Dr. Mrs. The Monarch and other... emotions that shall never be brought up outside of Round 3, I feel less of a need to scream at these people. I don't know if I like it.
>>431142 >"I wasn't gonna say anything! Just think it." >"Earlier was totally crazy. You're probably not gonna be all that sad to hear, but we think Mr. Krampus might've died." >>431145 >"Heh, really?" >"Well, I guess you better make sure you don't lose your chance again, huh?" >>431146 >"Just don't underestimate them, Wilkins has been driving half the competitors insane. I don't know what they put in this coffee or even if it's safer to drink it or NOT drink it."
Ah, Krabs, so you will be our next opponent? Congrats to you, my good fellow. I must admit, I had my doubts. I assumed your old age would slow you down, but you showed gusto, even after Plankton shifted into maximum overdrive. I must applaud you, sir.
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MINIONS! Your Monarch has once again risen from his blissful slumber to demand your attention!
With Mrs. The Monarch out of the running, it falls to I, your fearless mastermind, and my dickish associate Master Shake to take home the gold for Queen and Cocoon. I understand our newest, promising Henchman, Pip, despises the French more than anything. Well, take that hatred and harness it my young ward, for our enemies are that which you hate most: FROGS.
Go out, and see to it the Frogs don't finish this length of the race! Make them wave the white flag early and often! Vote the Cocoon to victory! For Pip! For my queen! For the Monarch Empire!
>>431063 Well anyone who's paying attention can see it pretty easily. Why else would you be drinking Wilkins coffee out of a pink word box?
>>431067 It would be a bad idea because otherwise, you'll be damned to the... TulioMiguelism Hell. Where the only food you're allowed to eat is ketchup flavored yogurt, and the only drink you're allowed is gamer girl bathwater. Yeah that's it.
>>431091 If you accept me and Miguel as your gods, then we can assure you that people will slightly dislike you less!
>>431177 Uhh guys? My arm started glowing even brighter when the portal opened. Should I be worried?
>>431187 >"I'm still telling Santa on you until you give Krampus back his Christmas magic, and you're not getting ANY presents this year!" >>431191 >"Awwww, but I like Kermit! He's a really good banjo-player." >>431194 >>431197 >"Mr. Krampus, you're alive!" >"...or maybe not, now that's two holes we have to plug up. Aren't there any doctors in the race? Like, people doctors not robot doctors." >>431201 >"Grounder no! He needs his precious blood in the parts that are losing a lot of blood, his head is fine!"
>>431203 Hey, I'll have you know I got my medical degree from the highest university in California. My professors praised me constantly. They seemed to heavily focus on saying "You're one of the few of your kind here. Congrats." though.
>>431202 >"Gosh darn it. I knew I should have come up with a story on my text-boxes having the flu or something." >"Well, Mr. Not-God, I want to help you even though you lied, but I don't know if I can really teach you how to do that stuff. I kind of learned it on the fly, and I don't think they work as well here since we're on a message board, not a comic book. Can you see the border of your uploaded image?" >>431205 >"What if I am? You're Batkek, I thought you'd go for joking!" >"I mean, when you put it like that it 'sounds' like a bad trade but have you considered what Santa may give you if you're good?" >>431206 >"Why do you have to wait for him to die, couldn't you just use it now and revive him before he dies?" >>431208 >"Oh my gosh, I had no idea! I guess you have to know what you're doing, I'm sorry I doubted you. What do you think is the best procedure, Dr. Grounder?"
>>431195 Oh shut up! I'm just trying to do the kid a solid since he did me one the other day. Plus, he hates the French! This'll be a field day for him. >>431209 Hey Pip, you wanna go kill some Frogs? We're racing a few frogs today, will that cheer you up? >>431203 God, did he really have to keep playing at 3 am?! Could have gone down there and strangled him with his own banjo-strings if I weren't tied up with trying to get Aku through at the time. I don't give a SHIT why they're so many songs about rainbows OR what's on the other side, Kermit! >>431212 I'm torn between wanting to see these divine spaniards fall here to the squirt or advance. I've already got a pretty raging hate-boner going on for Jerry, I don't know if I want to split my hate between him and the guys who fucked over my wife.
Weeeeelcome back ladies and gentlemen to another round of the Tag Team Tourney! Let's see what I can do today....ah!
>>431152 Monarch! I overheard you from last night and I must say.....Could it be that something about these tournaments are getting to you? Maybe it's your new henchmen? Or maybe it's that dear Christmas spirit getting to you?
>>431210 The only thing I desire now is to finish my main plan and/or finish off Ramses for good and I’m highly certain both those desires won’t be listed in the nice category. Speaking of Ramses weren’t those explosives supposed to blow up no-