>WALL E and EVE are going against Hank and Bobby Hill Probably won't win this, sucks that they are probably gonna get eliminated in the second round, but at least they are getting eliminated by a team that has a good chance to win it all.
Welp, it's just about time for me and Panchito to get deported again, waiting for Donal' to join us 1-2 rounds from now likes always. Seriously, thank you for making it so close only a few votes separated from beating god damn Spongebob and Patrick, a result I was not expecting. Even this amount of votes warms my heart so much See you Mr /co/ 2021! Also please watch Legend of the Three Caballeros if you haven't, you're missing one of the best cartoons of the 2010s
Ahoy there! Eugene Krabs here! Cofounder and CEO of SCAM Inc.
I just wanted to quickly and sincerely thank all our investors for getting us to the next round! And as always, don't forget to vote for Huey and Riley Freeman, AKA the Freeman Brothers, over that no good lousy cheat PLANKTON!!!!
Congrats Oswald you made it past round 1, too bad you’d now have to move location leaving Ortensia all lonely. Don’t worry I’ll still give her companionship while you’re away Also this seems like the prime opertunity for Ramses to show up again
>Be the Wayward Vagabond You are now the Wayward Vagabond, and you are kind of losing it right now. Your BOTTLE ROCKET's autopilot has been tampered with by an outside source, and you are currently careening off to god knows where. Wherever you're going, you're certainly nowhere near the finish line.
Yeah, you can kiss that race goodbye. You're surprised you even qualified, to be honest. You guess having half the teams disqualified due to duplicate members goes a long way towards letting less popular competitors enter.
>Howard: And there's the checkered flag! The racers make it to the next round! >Kreese: Let's go to the replay to see the gruesome car pile up! >Howard: If only an actual pile up was this fun! >Kreese: It's fun when you see blood!
>>428377 >"NO ONE'S evil enough to ruin Christmas! Even Skeletor and Doofenshmirtz can't bring themselves to do it, and anyone who tries ends up reformed like the Grinch!" >"Aw man, I LOVE Santa. I want presents too, henching for the Monarch I'm pretty sure has put me dangerously close to the Naughty List. And it's not like we have time to pull random acts of charity or whatever to make up for it in the middle of a race." >>428383 >"Waaait... you're Santa too? Something about this doesn't add up, where's your big fat huggable belly?"
I may have failed to win but that was only because Starscream was holding me back. Now I’ll get my revenge on everyone by sabotaging the next rounds Decepticons get to your stations and show them why the Decepticon army is the greatest
>>428335 Well it looks like I won't be marrying Shuma Gorath afterall but the only thing that matters is having fun... ok who am I kidding, I'm depressed now. Somebody get me a white pillowcase, I'm joining the KKK.
>Kreese: Donald and Scrooge rewrite history by knocking the Shaman and Krog off the track! >Howard: Will that have any side effects to the timeline? They basically just killed ancient man. >Kreese: Eh who cares, they were gonna be fossils any way. This speeds up the pace.
>>428335 Looks like the ole Simon and Jack combo is going up against Billy and Mandy. I won't lie and say that I'm not a little concerned about are matchup, but I believe that we can pull through. Apparently this Mandy person is supposed to be pretty scary. That won't be a problem since Jack isn't one to be easily intimidated. I'll focus on the big nosed one.
MINIONS! Your Monarch is pleased with the results of the first round of the Tourney! You have served me, my wife, and all my Henchmen (sans Chef, again what the hell man) very well in pushing us onward past our opposition.
But this race is far from over! Even now, as your glorious leader bears the unending, mind-numbing, insane ramblings of the talking milkshake, the last twinges of his sanity slowly fading away with every repeat of his God-damned album, I do not falter in my goal to see to it either myself or your Queen makes it to the finish line first. So go! Vote for 21, 24, 69, Fang and Spear, and all my forces as we conquer the track an-
FOR FUCK'S SAKE, SHAKE can you turn the freaking radio off while I'm addressing my followers, at least!?!
>>428429 That's the spirit, John. Say, any news on Ramses? Rumor has it some mummy monster has been picking through the car crashes behind us, and that seems a little too far-fetched. The mummies we encountered last time were too terrified of the sun to leave the enclosure Ramses made us build
>>428456 Consider it done, I didn't plan on losing to that blonde idiot to begin with. He may try and act tough but that's not going to work on me. He just mainly lets Jack do the heavy lifting while he gloats as if he has actually earned anything himself. His lose is going to be swift and merciless.
>Howard: The Queens of Villainy neuter Garfield and Odie! >Kreese: I must say, I didn't expect for Martians to look good in butterfly costumes. >Howard: Anything looks good on them. >Kreese: Alright enough simping and more commentating.
>>428407 >"Eh, I'm not sure it works that way Jack. If I could get by on the Nice behavior of friends I think kids would have a lot less to worry about. Being a good loser DOES seem like a Santa-ish thing to do, though, but still maybe we should think of ways to make it up to him in advance." >"I'm hoping we can win in the first place, Santa's sleigh has to be crazy freaking fast to make that trip..."
>>428460 Honestly Al, those rats seem pretty middle of the road to me. They'll definitely be flattened right into it too if their vehicles are as small as they are. Might even be able to feed them to are little monstrous locomotive since its been doing such a good job so far, it definitely deserves a treat.
>>428457 Gwenwho? Anyways, you don't know what you're talking about cup, when they aren't fearing me as their evil commander-in-chief, my henchmen think I'm a total blast. Every shindig in the Cocoon, yours truly is the master of frickin' ceremonies, I KNOW how to party. Listening to your sin against nature of a rap album ISN'T a party. >>428480 What, who dares to hail the Cocoo... oh, God, it's THIS jackass again... Vilgax. Long time no see. Don't think we had a chance to chat since I got out of prison.
>>428478 Perhaps. But could it be? The Pharaoh has lost... >>428479 Ignore them, Dan. This is physically impossible. They are trying to set you up like they did Simon, with the shape-shifting into a woman and stuff. There was no way anything would happen... Even if you were drunk and I was hitting the catnip again...
>BBC lost >Team Hazbin but Actually Good lost >No South Park made it past Round 1 Fuck. Well, there was at least a lot of suprising victories too that made me happy >Robot Devil and Robot Santa beat Ashi and Grace >Klaus and Jesper beat Slappy And HOLY SHIT BROS! Scruffy and Mr Morris won! Scruffy ain't leaving this competition without blood. The Jannies sweeped!
>428335 >428500 >428494 >428492 >428483 >428479 >Allow me to explain boys, it's exceedingly simple.
>Dan took an experimental estrogen serum he stole from Elise 11 months ago in an effort to bribe away some British soldiers.
>While on a drunken pub crawl and still in female form, Dan fucked Mao Mao.
>And then you, Mao Mao, had sex with your girlfriend Sam. A piece of the fertilized egg must have been penetrated into her. You...did see her get preggers yes?
>Oh in that case, Dan probably shat out the kitten at some point, his male system rejecting it, and didn't notice, where it wandered to the local animal shelter and awaited to be reunited with it's mother.
>I must say, this is highly unusual. But I'm glad to pronounce you Mother and Father, my tests are the PINNACLE of accuracy, they never fail!
>Howard: The robot Devil and Santa make the Killer Cuck Queens atone for their crimes! They are out of the race! >Kreese: They'll be back to get Simon and The Samurai, you'll see! Ahahahahahahahaha! >Howard: That you're attempt at a Aku laugh? >Kreese: Yeah I've been practicing what do you think? >Howard: I give that a season 5 out of 10.
>Stan gets on the piano >Krabs on the mic >musical intro starts K: The best things in life are free! S: But you can give 'em to the mice and corgis! K: I need mooooney! S: (That's. What I want.) K: That's what I want S: (That's. What I want.) Together: That's what I waaaaaAAAAnt! K: That's what I want! S: (That's what I want!)
Alfred: For all our friends, allies and those siding with the forces of Good, my name is Alfred Pennyworth. I have to inform you that a device called the HONK-BOMB has possibly bleen planted inside one of your cars. This is a weapon with the horrendous power to turn everyone into a 10 kilometer radius into either a clowm, a Joker replica or worse... kill those who breath its fumes. So far we know no one can resist it.
Alfred: If the race or the vehicle it is carried on are put to a stop, it explodes. If the bomb arrives at the finish line, it blows up too. We know for a fact it is too dangerous to disarm it mid-race, for now. We are currently tracking its signature, but we are afraid it will not be revealed until at leat the third round.
Alfred: If me and Jerry are to fail reaching this far into the race, it is up to you to save the day. I wish you all good luck, and may you all have a chance to win.
I just realized, my curse has been lifted! I made it past a Round 1! Now we just got to break Monarch's Round 2 curse and we are set for the championship! This calls for a new rap album! >>428520 They didn't though
>>428515 Oh dear. I think I need to apologize to Simon for laughing when he got set up with Jack last time, and the whole Chris debacle. Based on the fact that Sam and I had a little bit of a fling back when the train stopped at Pure Heart to let off Adorabat, it seems that Samantha did give birth to the kitten.... Still, just too weird.
>>428513 In the last thread, Stephen Stotch became an unstoppable beast hellbent on grounding everybody. Unfortunately, that all came to an end when his heart gave out after Pip hugged him, then Zone-tan proceeded to rape his dead body. Some people said he was the new you.
>Howard: Boy do I love Wilkins coffee! >Kreese: Umm ok, well Wilkins just shattered Garnet into a million pieces. Anything to say to that? >Howard: I'd say that a cup of Wilkins coffee would have saved her! (please don't kill me). >Kreese: What was that? >Howard: I said that I love Wilkins coffee!
>>428538 >Uh, actually, Star turned Garnet into dust by using a spell to wipe out Corundums, only for Star, her father, and his sister to all meet unfortunate ends due to the terrible luck that comes with not drinking Wilkins Coffee
>>428477 >"A card's nice, but kinda impersonal I think. If we want to make sure Santa doesn't put us on the Naughty List, I think we should make sure we do something really nice to make up for it." >"Oh! Maybe if we pick up some presents and hand them out? A lot of kids in particular got knocked out of the race and are probably feeling down, if we picked up some gifts to pass around I bet Santa would overlook just about anything!" >>428522 >"What?! That's just silly, why would you pull a Speed with a Joker-gas bomb... ooooh, wait wait I get it! 'Honk-bomb'. Like cars honk, clown nose, okay I can see the pieces making a picture here." >"Still that's ridiculous, we HAVE to stop for drive-thrus and bathroom breaks! What do you expect us to do, drive non-stop?"
>Howard: The Blind bandit and Hero send the fat bastards falling into Springfield gorge! >Kreese: Anyone else think it's weird that a little blind girl is hanging out with a grown blind man? >Howard: Nothing weird about it and even if there was touching a boob while blind is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.
Ladies and gentlemen, the sound of revved engines and squealing tires is faint on the horizon. This can only mean one thing: the first racers are approaching the finish line! Stay on the line and we'll give you a play-by-play of who's a winner and who's a loser*! The rules are simple: The first 64 racers to finish will earn a stay at the best hotel they can afford while the rest and prepare for tomorrow's race. Everyone else will die! Wait, that's not right. Everyone else will be sent home with little fanfare, or forcefully escorted off the premises by security.
*We will not be announcing the losers.
Here they come now! Our first first place champion is the Cracking Cheese Lovers, Wallace and Gromit! Taking second place is the Pups of Pani, Courage and Scooby. Third place goes to the Freeman Brothers, Huey and Riley! Fourth place goes to eternal rivals Tom and Jerry, with fifth place going to the Almighty Tallest!
Just shy of the top 5 is the Assholish Adult Swim Duo, Master Shake and the Monarch! Let's hope this calms them down. They are sharing a room tonight, after all. In seventh is-Dick Dastardly? We'll I'll be, he's won himself a race for once! Unfairly, no doubt. But who's counting? Storming eighth place (get it?) is the Miser Brothers, with the Ineptive Invaders in ninth. The Copper Couple rocket by, rounding out our top ten and also marking the point where I switch from words to numbers.
Famed coffee brand Wilkins stops by to claim 11th place, while the Dapper Dealers ride into 12th. The Mighty and Powerful Gods of El Dorado stake their claim on 13th place, with Bertstrips taking 14th and the Rabbit Couple in 15th. 16th goes to the the Warner Brothers, and 17th to Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. Puppet and PNG join in 19th place with Pepe and Kermit the Frog. Classic Disney's Mickey and Oswald end off the top 20, while father and son Hill burn rubber into 21st.
The Trolberg Jumpers are the next to arrive, taking 22nd place. 23rd goes to the showstoppers, Beetlejuice and the Mask. The Primal Duo outpace the Janitors, taking 24th and 25th respectively. Calvin is next and takes 26th. The Chum Bucket rockets into 27th to the chagrin of Sea Crab And Man Inc., who settle for 28th. Enemies of the Samurai wheel into 29th place. Regular Team carts into 30th. Monstrous Monarchs barely tie with Naughty and Nice and Metal but barely beat them to 31st, with the latter in 32nd. Robotnik's Robots cross the line and take 33rd, but their boss is nowhere to be seen. Popeye and Olive Oyl cross next and claim 34th, Gadgets and GETS-zmos follow in 35th. Next is The Fuzz in 36th with the I.M.P. Couple in 37th and the Iron Giant (plus Hogarth) in 38th. 39th goes to the Duck Clan, and Hench 4 Life drives in at 40th.
41st is the Men in Black, 42nd is The Frollo Show, 43rd is Massive Titties. The OG Champs roll up in style to a pitiful 44th place. Queens of Villainy follow them in a rather un-regal 45th. 46th is the Avatars of Nemesis, 47th goes to North Pole Express, 48th to the Addams Family.
Robotnik finally arrives with King Koopa to conquer 49th place. Sector V earns the big Five-O. The Blind Fighters Roll in and 51st to the surprise of many, including me. Pumpkin Heads take 52nd, Tainted Love in 53rd. Wander and Sylvia ride into 54th with the Detectives of Baker Street close behind in 55th. 56th is the Queen's Finest, Paranormal Preteens take 57th, 58th goes to the Goofy Goobers. The Heroes of Pure Heart fly into 59th, while the Grumpy Warlords march into 60th. Patience and Humility have a brush with elimination but scrape by into 61st. Slow and steady, I suppose. Hakuna Matata strolls into 62nd and the Forgotten Foes ride past the finish line in 63rd.
Only one more racer can cross, and it's anyone's game. Two cars are approaching the finish line now, this is gonna be a close one. 64th place will go to...
Wait for it...
Team Reaper! That puts a wrap on Round 1. Sorry to the losers, but there are no participation trophies here. Tune in tomorrow for Round 2's results. Or come see the race in person! There are still seats left to fill, get 'em while you can! This is your Wacky Races announcer, signing off! >>428546 I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about.
>>428542 >>428545 Alfred: We haven't planted the bomb, I am afraid it was already there when we arrived! As a matter of fact, we came here to stop it! This is why we join the tournament in the first place! This is why Jerry left his recovery at WOOHP earlier than he should have! So far we do not know who the villain is, but we suspect someone related to Joker being part of the plot.
>>428545 Jerry: The cars can ble slowed I suppose, but it will cost you at the race I bet. Well, it is your choice.
>>428557 It might be that the Pharaoh still has more men in the game than it looks. We know his connection to Dastardly and that he wrecked some of the cars.... Could be that he is our prime suspect for both of these issues
>>428506 Yeah, Egypt in general is a pain in the ass not worth dealing with. Learned that the hard way with Ramses. Anyways, what kind of favor? You realize we're racing each other in this very next round, I'm not particularly interested in handing you any sort of edge here.
>>428530 God, NO! No more albums! Look just, ramble on about your roommates or your neighbor, taunt our opposition, whatever if you have to make noise fine but I will take freaking ANYTHING over another song!
>>428522 Sounds like a good-guy problem to me, Jarvis. This Cocoon isn't slowing down for Armegeddon itself, it sure as hell isn't slowing down for some knock-off Joker scheme. I'm sure Jerry wouldn't let a Tourney full of mostly innocent racers fall to such a grisly fate, so either he'll stop the bomb or he'll die trying. Either way, I guess I'll be laughing anyhow.
>>428552 You know, cuphead here talking my ear off aside, I've got a good feeling about this. Feeling more nervous about Grievous in particular, that guy's always been popular despite literally choking in the third film, but my minions are many and their devotion without compare. They'll see me to victory or die trying.
>>428560 Look at good guy Jerry still trying to save people from there impending fate. Maybe things won't play out to your favor this time around. I can't wait to see the look on your face when everything blows up in it.
>>428551 And here's the raw data. The numbers represent the percentage of the votes each contestant obtained. 1 Cracking Cheese Lovers 80.8 2 Pups of Panic 79.8 3 Freeman Brothers 79.8 4 A Game of Cat and Mouse 78.87 5 Almighty Tallest 77.8 6 Assholish AS Duo 76.8 7 Dastardly Duo 75.8 8 Miser Bros 75.8 9 Ineptive Invaders 75.8 10 Copper Couple 74.7 11 Wilkins 74.7 12 Dapper Dealers 73.7 13 Mighty and Powerful Gods 72.7 14 Bertstrips 72.7 15 He did her right 72.7 16 Warner Bros 72.7 17 Duck Season, Rabbit Season 71.7 18 Duality of Frog 71.7 19 Fake Santas 70.7 20 Power of Two 70.7 21 Hill Family 70.7 22 Trolberg Jumpers 69.7 23 Showtime 69.7 24 Primal Duo 69.7 25 The Janitors 68.7 26 Calvin and Hobbes 68.7 27 Chum Bucket 67.7 28 SCAM Inc. 66.7 29 Enemies of the Samurai 66.7 30 Regular Team 65.7 31 Monstrous Monarchs 63.6 32 Naughty and Nice and Metal 63.6 33 Robotnik's Robots 62.6 34 Smooth Sailing 62.6 35 Gadgets and GET-zmos 62.6 36 The Fuzz 60.6 37 I.M.P. Couple 60.6 38 You Stay, I go 60.6 39 Duck Clan 59.6 40 Hench 4 Life 59.6 41 MIB 59.6 42 Frollo Show 58.6 43 Big Bazongers 57.6 44 OG Champs 56.6 45 Queens of Villainy 56.6 46 Avatars of Nemisis 56.6 47 North Pole Express 55.6 48 Addams Family 55.6 49 Big Bads of Video Land 55.6 50 Sector V 54.5 51 Blind Fighters 54.5 52 Pumpkin Heads 53.5 53 Tainted Love 53.5 54 Wander Over Sylvia 53.5 55 Detectives of Baker Street 53.5 56 Queen's Finest 53.5 57 Paranormal Preteens 53.5 58 Goofy Goobers 52.5 59 Heroes of Pure Heart 52.5 60 Grumpy Warlords 52.5 61 Patience and Humility 52.5 62 Hakuna Matata 51.5 63 Forgotten Foes 50.5 64 Team Reaper 50.5
>>428568 >>428567 How they hell do you motherfuckers not only have gay wedding, but two dudes endin up pregnant as well. You niggas is gayer than I thought. I don't even wanna win this gay ass competition anymore.
>>428559 Indeed you did! I heard you even gave one of the big shot overlords of Hell a scare!
>>428561 >>428560 >>428563 You know, next time you should try riding a mighty formidable creature into battle! They are MUCH less easy to rig, I tell you!
>>428566 You're worried about Grievous? Now, that cyborg can be harsh when you get on his bad side, but after his display in this year's mr /co/ I wouldn't be surprised if all that energy he put into the /co/lympus of 2019 has rusted his metal a little?
>>428579 Here at Team Chum Bucket, we don’t see anything wrong with touching sea cucumbers, if you will. If you’re homophobic, much like Krabs already outed himself to be, you might as well just concede to Karen and I now! You wouldn’t want to be cancelled on Twitter, would you?
>>428558 Negotiate with a villain? Why, that's against everything the Secret Service stands for! You think you've won, but after all the cheap stunts you pulled to get so far ahead, who's the REAL winner here?
>>428589 Fuck twitter!!!! You think a real nigga like me afraid of some cancelling bullshit. I wish a nigga would try a cancel me. I'm only 8 years old and black. I got kid privilege and minority privilege. Those twitter drama queen won't even dare try and touch me. If they do, they racist.
>>428560 >"Joker? Oh crap.... does Gordon know yet?" >"Also, thanks for the heads up Jerry, but costing us the race isn't on our list of things to do." >>428548 >"Toys, I guess? Kids still love toys right? Or is it all about tablets and video-games? Shoot, I *think* I still liked dolls when I was eight. >"Also if we can't stop cause of the bomb we're gonna have to turn Build-a-Bear into a drive-through." >"OH! You have got spare robots or gadgets we could wrap up and give them?" >>428552 >"REALLY unsure about racing Klaus. I want to win but I also really want to get on the nice list, and on top of all the henching recently beating him feels like it might put me over on the wrong side. If beating a guy who can circle the globe in one night while stopping to eat cookies at each house is even doable."
>>428590 (CONTINUED:) >I shit out a baby and the babies a cat. >You never heard of something like that >I shit out a baby and the babies a cat. >My ass is stretched out flat!
>I'm having a baby, and that babies a cat. >It'll come out with a brap and a splat.
>This shouldn't be fucking possible.
>It's the magic of Eire, Mao, it'll come through, every pore.
>Please no more.
>It's ours MM.
>And it's a whole experience it is! And now is pet....IS MY BABY!
>I'm having a baby, and a pussy at that. >I'm giving birth to my favorite cat. >Keep listening to this skedat! >I shit out a baby and the babies a cat. >You never heard of something like that >I shit out a baby and the babies a cat. >My ass is stretched out flat! >I shit out a baby, and it's my cat! >That is the truth, and that is that!
>Howard: Ooo! How unforante for the Horny Demons. Zim and Gir managed to blow up their car before they could even race in it. >Kreese: Well at least they will have more time to fuck. >Howard: It's a win win for everyone!
>>428590 >>428608 Just when Megamind posting seems to finally end we get shit like this. With the disappearance of Arbuckle and Megamind, a power vacuum was opened up that needed to be filled by something as equally awkward and grotesque.
>>428587 You're... QUITTING the race? This is some kind of scheme, isn't it? My mind may be slowly turning to mulch spending too much time with Shake, but I can still smell a double-cross from a mile away. >>428582 Well, 'worried' might be an exaggeration Al, but I've seen the fanart, he's got a cult following with these nerds. Still, even he will be as nothing before the might of the Cocoon. The jedi-slayer will be in the scrapyard before day's end!
>>428567 AND NOW, THE COMPLETE EDITION! >It was the middle of town, on a Dublin Night, all bored with the British Rats. >And a lad walked in, drunk fun then began, and I realized it was a cat.
>I stroked his fur, rubbed his catnip clean, and wrestled them furry mittens. >Then a month later, in my toilet one night. >It was a shit that was a kitten.
>I'm having a baby, and a pussy at that. >I'm giving birth to my favorite cat. >I shit out a baby and the babies a cat. >You never heard of something like that >I shit out a baby and the babies a cat. >My ass is stretched out flat!
>I'm having a baby, and that babies a cat. >It'll come out with a brap and a splat.
>This shouldn't be fucking possible.
>It's the magic of Eire, Mao, it'll come through, every pore.
>Please no more.
>It's ours MM.
>And it's a whole experience it is! And now is pet....IS MY BABY!
>I'm having a baby, and a pussy at that. >I'm giving birth to my favorite cat. >Keep listening to this skedat! >I shit out a baby and the babies a cat. >You never heard of something like that >I shit out a baby and the babies a cat. >My ass is stretched out flat! >I'm having a baby, and that babies a cat. >It'll come out with a brap and a splat.
>Dan had a baby and the baby is mine? >Oh, fuck you, this ain't fine! >Dan had a baby and the baby is mine? >While hopped up on Dublin wine? >Dan had a baby and the baby is mine? >This is motherfucking asinine! >Dan had a baby and the baby's a kitten! >Babies, babies, babies, babies >Babies, babies, babies, babies >Babies, babies, babies, babies >Babies, babies, babies, babies
>>428621 Same here. There's a lot of people who would see us fail in this contest. Speaking of which, is there anyone we know among the losers who can investigate these mummy sightings? So far they are mostly antagonistic. I still haven't found my Samantha...
>Struts around like she's hot shit >Pushes around David because he's too pussy to stand up for himself >Has to be the best at everything and always be right >Patronizes Hilda and sees her more as someone to pitied than admired >Thought rooms fucking cleaned themselves >Attacked David when he pointed out how retarded that was >Hilda raises the dead and wrestles a ghost to get her book and ghost maid back, but when she fails Frida tells her she wishes they never met and tells David, her friend for years, to fuck off too >Doesn't speak to either of them for weeks, neglecting her scout duties in the process >Ends up hanging out with the fear eating nightmare spirits that were haunting her friends, with no explanation given Face it, she's not that great a friend.
>>428620 And you DON'T have your own little hidden cult following on this web?
I suppose you could see this as your cult vs his!...And Vilgax's vs Shake's too!
>>428606 Sounds like a challenge indeed! But Saint Nick's said to be a jolly fellow! Just maybe he'll forgive you if you and your new boy buddy bust him like a nutcracker bursts the most solid of nutshells!
>>428638 Oh hush now! I never ordered you to get them to leave!
...Unless you forgot who has a chunk of /co/lympus ownership in his grasp!
>Kreese: The Mask and Beetlejuice grow a win despite the heckling from the Farmers! >Howard: I use to go to Chucks Suck and Fuck before it was given to Sneed. >Kreese: How was it? >Howard: Well let's just say that my doctor was not surprised that I got rabies.
>>428657 LISTEN HERE YOU IMPOSTER!!! I am the REAL Robotnik, I am the one who may or may not be Jack Spicer's father, and we'd find out sooner if you weren't TAMPERING WITH THE DNA TESTS SERIOUSLY WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, and I am the one that will win the race with King Koopa by my side! NOT. YOU. So get out of my sight before I blast you into oblivion!!!
>>428658 Mao, how nice to see you again. Heard you're in a tight spot, buddy... Where is Samantha? That's a pretty tough question to answer. I mean, where do souls go when they're used as fuel by an Aku monster?
S: Hel-lo SCAM faithful! Stan Pines, cofounder and CFO of SCAM Inc. here! K: Eugene Krabs, cofounder and CEO of SCAM Inc. here! S: Today we're visiting one of our exotic racetracks where we test the latest and greatest in vehicle technology to get a leg up on the competition. K: And it's all thanks to investors like YOU! Thanks to you, we've cleared the first round and, with your continued support, many more to come! S: But we need your help. The guys we're up against are a couple of magic weirdoes. This is much different than a couple of talking animals. K: That's why we need the continued support of our existing SCAM investors, and of course it's never to late to join the SCAM train! S: And to promote our benevolent takeover, for a limited time we're offering these commemorative "SCAM #1" hats to our first 100 voters! K: That's a $30 value for only $29.99! But only if you vote SCAM Inc! S: And that's not all! We're also bringing back the Nomination Special! FREE Mystery Patties, with purchase!
>>428602 K: And for Modest Mouse here, we have an even specialler offer! A fitting for a "MOUSE #2" hat! S: FREE of charge, with purchase of a large Mystery Patty meal.
>>428589 K: I CLARIFIED THOSE COMMENTS, PLANKTON!!
S: Anyway, thanks for your support, loyal investors, Both: And we'll see you in the next round!
>>428638 Ah, there seems to be a misunderstanding. I'm actually the true winner, you see. I can't lose. It's simply not possible. But I understand the confusion.
>>428647 >>428653 Did someone mention danger, thrill and adventure? No? Well, I do have an extraordinary sense in discerning these types of cascades. What is it that you need from me? My skills, my wit, my dashing good looks or all of the above?
>>428682 >Ok, your dad stopped thinking he was 4 people(a goofball, an evil genius, a gay pornstar, and an egg salesman), but he might have forgotten he sold a platinum album and also kinda sorta has a son...that being you.
>>428670 Come on now. Aren't you a hero or something? I have no love lost for that cat, but maybe you can go down to hell and save her? Look I hate Samantha and the very idea of helping her, but the kid is innocent. Maybe I have a soft spot for kids...
>>428654 >"But Al I don't wanna bust Santa like a nutshell, I love Santa and I love free stuff!" >>428607 >"Oh, RIGHT. Robot minions to do all the work. Man, having henchmen of your own seems like a lot of fun." >>428665 >>428666 >"TWO Eggmen?!" >>428672 >>428675 >"TWO Jacks?!" >"But which one is the other one's dad? Or... are some of you robots?" >"Oh my gosh what if Jack's actually a robot BUILT by Robotnik?!" >"Jack if you were a robot you'd tell me, right?"
>>428688 >>428688 >He was convinced he was talking to Pingasman, but I got him under control. His problems been worse ever since he started falling asleep for no reason and screaming about "the trolls coffee" in his sleep.
>>428684 Danger Mouse! Over here! We need your help investigating the car wrecks at the start of the tourney, they say they are being haunted by a mummy demon! >>428687 Come now! What's the case for making this an Orpheus plot? You're the one who let her boyfriend of eight years marry someone else after being resurrected! But I suppose... I must try. For Mr. Mumbles
>>428638 Sure I'll leave but just let me say one thing first. I've never had Wilkins coffee and I never will. Its the shittiest coffee to ever exist and it will always be the worst bar none. Taking a sip of Wilkins Coffee feels like sticking a toothbrush in my vag and I hate it. Ok that's all.
>>428654 Hey its nice to meet someone who's got their own cult of devoted followers like me
>>428668 Maybe you could meet Hal Jordan. I feel you two could relate to each other's plights
>>428674 How about I reply to this post and I die in my sleep tonight instead?
>>428678 Mr. Venom Knockoff? Could I schedule an appointment?
robotnik and koopa rper here, i've been having a wonderful time so far, but i think with all the things i've got going on in my life (including a fuck ton of final projects), I'm worried I won't be able to dedicate as much time to this tourney as I'd like to. so would anybody like to take over as robotnik from here on out? i'll still be koopa, btw
>>428671 If... if that is what your highness wishes. I will do best to observe - a-and perhaps learn as a student as well! For being in your not terrifying presence is c-certainly a benefit to me! (but bereft the presence of my dear is my real punishment...)
>>428647 >>428653 >>428684 Aw man really really sorry if this is ruining anything but I don't really feel like RPing as Ian anymore. The "I kneel" thing was just a one off joke. Someone else should probably take over, sorry again guys
>>428684 Hello, Mister Mouse. Allow me to introduce myself. I am John Blacksad. We are part of a detective team currently investigating paranormal activity going on, and we need your help in investigating. >>428694 Yes. Currently, because we are in the race, there is little we can do in terms of investigating the mummy sightings.
>>428694 Your slut girlfriend admitted to slipping something in my drink that night! I wasn't in my right mind! Ask her! I owe my dad thousands because of her! She also gave Simon the memory tape that trapped me in the first place. How could you have even liked such a disaster I don't even know. But sigh... Go rescue her for the sake of that kid, I guess.
>Yes, thank you.....sometimes I think I'm two people....sometimes I think I'm a gayporn star....sometimes I think I wrote a rock opera about a man fucking a cat and faked a DNA test to prove it, and then discovered that I actually had a son the whole time....
>That last one was true.
>Oh......I have a son.
>Yes....now about these nightmares you've been having......
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>>428629 Of course I have to be a dick about everything. I'm a goddamned SUPER VILLAIN, if you were to look in my job description 'dick' may well be listed in every section. And lots of people think I'm fun. Here I'll prove it. >>428654 >>428692 >>428636 Al, 69, Schnookums, tell Shake how much fun I am. >>428644 Seriously? You want to work in the Cocoon's labs? I mean, we've got tech but we're not exactly A.I.M. here. Still, I guess I can't see the downside... and this is seriously all you want in exchange for giving us the race? Why are you just giving up, I don't get it.
>>428693 Under normal circumstances I'm always ready to make a deal, but I've lost the plot a bit on this one and I don't know WHAT the heck is going on. We've got lots of important documents to falsif-I mean file, so we're just gonna let this weirdness sort itself out, and THEN we can take your money.
>>428708 I sure will. Hopefully that won't mean the whole tourney's going to hell again. >>428721 You might have to go at it alone for now. As Mr. Blacksad has said >>428707 the rest of us are currently in the tourney.
>>428716 Hey dude you wouldn't happen to have like, maybe the one piece of crossover fan art on the internet of Robotnik and King Koopa would you? Because google is just giving me the vidya counterparts.
>>428695 >>428697 >"I don't know... that seems like something a robot would say to hide." >"Okay, listen to me very carefully Jack: This sentence is false." >>428714 >>428674 >"AH! Not my mom!" >"Okay, okay, how's this: Jack and I make a pretty good team. He's got the tech and I got the can-do attitude and guns. I've had good partnerships with tech-guys before, so this feels pretty natural. Plus I think we're some of the few teen villains and/or anti-heroes competing, so we should stick together. Also we're cute, so that's very important to consider." >>428715 >"Uhhh... well, I definitely have had a lot of fun henching for you, sir! Definitely can't say the past couple of Tourney's haven't been a ride." >>428738 >"That doesn't really sound a whole lot better, crushing Santa's pride definitely doesn't feel like something I want weighing down on my conscience on Christmas."
>>428738 I gotta say Alastor, I feel a spoon caught in a garbage disposal right now since Shuma Gorath left me. It seems like all my suicide attempts keep failing and the KKK rejected me since I've got the ability to turn into a Lovecraftian Deity with black skin. Shit sucks.
>>428723 I gotta go to sleep now since I need to go to work tomorrow. I'll post it when I get back though.
One last thing, your racing skills do not fully represent your magic skills, so I'm still willing to give you a chance to be a coven member of mine in the future. But keep up this string of failures and you may find yourself becoming covenless. A wild witch.
And you should already know what happens to wild witches.
Now then, if you've understood all of that already, and no one here has a message for me, then I may be off to deliver The Titan the grave news.
I will return to this place tomorrow, with you, Amity, by my side.
>>428730 Oh fuck off Jerry! I'm not gonna take that kind of shit from a guy who probably hasn't partied since the Great Depression. >>428731 >>428725 I see. So you want to build a frickin' LANTERN BATTERY in my Cocoon. And what would you do with this Lantern Battery? More importantly, what can *I* do with this Lantern Battery? >>428738 ...could have done without that last part, but thanks. See, there you go milkshake, the devil himself knows I can party. >>428756 Yeah but like, me personally, I'M fun, right? Come on, all the good times I've put together for us? Remember that time you got to spring your first prison break, or start an interstellar war with Martians? That was all me, I'm a fun guy!