/baw/ - General Discussion

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Yet another crazy ideas thread.

Would it be that controversial if museums and airlines introduced free, mandatory gags to put over your babies mouth when they start crying? Or even a bloody plastic bag?
There should be buffets where you're seated at a bar, and a conveyer belt moves the food past you so you don't even have to get up to get more.
...like a sushi-train? Just with other food.
That's what the idea is based on, but it would have to be more complex to keep food cold/hot and have a sneeze guard.
Instead of even being able to touch the food before choosing it, it should be on its own little tray and get pushed off the conveyor mechanically when you wave your hand over a sensor.
Autonywork !x4vv0ZYuAo
A nifty idea, though it'd require more manpower (for creating the individual servings) and potentially more waste as that food would have to be removed faster. Not that the conveyer is practical in the first place...
I have an idea, it's called: PET COSPLAY CONVENTION
It's like a comic-con except with people bringing their pets as cosplay. We could have contests, sell costumes, setup stages for pet's to have their picture taken, and finally: merchandising!

Whadda Ya think /baw/? Gud?
Terrible. Bringing your pets ANYWHERE would be disastrous, especially if they were all in one spot.
I actually went to a cat convention a while back. That's when I got the idea.
I figured they were already individual due to being on the tray? Maybe something like a bar but with food ordered at kiosks like a gas station.
Er, due to being on the conveyor mean. I guess that system would use something like extra tiny paper plates.
For making money, it is a fine idea.

In terms of how much I like the concept, please slap yourself in the face for me. You're probably a good guy and all but anyone who suggests that openly deserves a full second of pain in the face.
Consider this dating app/site system:
Anyone with a profile can choose to add anyone else with a profile to a list of those they'd consider dating.
This list is kept entirely secret, so you normally can't tell who else added who or even looked. However, if you add someone who already added you, you're publicly declared a match. This way people who are super shy about asking people out can attempt to hook up without worrying about what happens if they get rejected, since if it isn't reciprocated the other person won't even know they were interested.

As an option, one can choose to set their profile as enforcing monogamy. What this does is prevent them from adding or being added by anyone already in a relationship. Also, when they get do get matched up with someone, both their lists are deleted and no one else can match up with them. This helps keep you match from trying to get at the list of other people you were considering, which also making it so people who just add anyone and go on a bunch of failed relationships have to put more work re-adding people than those who only list a handful of crushes.

Might make the monogamy part mandatory, and/or make it a phone app where you pay twenty five to fifty cents per addition to your list to make it a huge cash cow. Not sure if I'd want to partner with another system for suggesting people to add, I'm thinking a phone app where you're expected to add people you already know would work well enough.
My thoughts on this?

Get a patent.
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Pre-emptive petitions. The Government better not even begin to do something I don't like.
Imagine if a petition had 250,000 signatures BEFORE it mattered.

Pic is a Managan glove; lights a fire when you click your fingers. No gas explosion or electrical risk, and glove material is obviously heat/flame resistant. Perfect for riots!
My brother agrees with you, I should go ahead and get one while I still can.

I don't know if I want to tell about bad laws they could be making if they hadn't thought of them yet, though if the idea of them is already public sure.

Neat glove.

Negotiator-bodyguard teams for dealing with peaceful situations, such as non-riot protests.
Police, when handling such situations, need to balance respecting the crowd's rights both with enforcing the law and protecting themselves/each other. In addition, they're generally trained more to deal with suspected criminals than with people who happen to be in a situation that might lead to crime occurring in the near future. This is stressful and a conflict of interest.

Instead, for peaceful situations you could have negotiators who are there just to talk to people without using any force, and bodyguards who just protect those negotiators without trying to enforce anything. The negotiators focus on controlling the crowd with their words and gestures, guiding them to a solution that maintains peace and and keeps the city functional. The bodyguards, being responsible only for keeping the negotiators out of harm's way, would hopefully be less panicky than enforcers simply due to having to deal with less.

Then police would only be called in if things go bad without somebody getting too scared and firing at the crowd when it could have been avoided. Plus, protestors might not even act as problematically if they know they aren't being faced with actual enforcers, just from negotiators being a less sever escalation of confrontation.

Does the glove come with the transmutation circle already on it, or do we have to draw it ourselves?
Autonywork !x4vv0ZYuAo
So glad I'm not the only one who thought that.
Included on demand, no extra charge.

I haven't seen FMA, or else I would have probably named it after Roy Mustang
I don't think this has been done yet, but a 'dating' show where instead of a beautiful guy/girl as the prize, they are actually someone who doesn't look anything like the contestants were told they would look. Like online dating. The contestants have to survive the date without hurting the other person's feelings.

Or maybe a the prize girl is a trap.
Special, high-risk military roles for suicidal people. Why let their life go to waste? Why endanger people who want to live?

Eh, suicidal people are usually very depressed — I-can't-get-out-of-bed level of depressed. Catatonia level of depressed. Not wanting to do anything is pretty much the determining factor.

They'd just sit in the middle of the battlefield and wait to die without doing anything that needs to be done.
Man, the morale bonus is everything on the battlefield. Haven't you ever played a Super Robot Wars game?
How about a first-person shooter style game where you are a rebel (in some country, I don't care which) fighting in a group and have the gameplay similar to other FPS games like CoD and Battlefield campaigns, but instead of having everything simplified like 'hold [x] to create a simple explosive', you have to create it manually step by step, choosing quantities of reactants and setting the trigger on your own, and THE GAME DOESN'T JUST TELL YOU HOW. That's right, you have to learn how to do it properly (or trial and error hard) to create a working explosive, and then use this knowledge later on to improvise your own. It could have a 'tutorial' where early on, other members of your group show you how to do stuff which you have to replicate.
Instead of 'hold [x] to reload', you have to figure out how to reload different guns (maybe a quick up-down on the d-pad to pull back and forth the bolt or to pump a shotgun, with 'x' to to insert a shell or magazine). Essentially, the game will try and reduce all the automated actions and replace them with something a little more difficult and more interactive.
If entropy is information, as it is in information theory and some views of statistical mechanics, couldn't we make a more effective generator by treating it as an information sink rather than a power source?
DudeWithMoney !SFwR6DnH/Y

So like Receiver, but for bombs?
I just had a look at Receiver, and yeah, pretty much. (But not just for bombs, that was only an example. The idea is to use that concept to replace all the automated actions usually found in FPS games)

Receiver looks sweet, I might check it out some more. Thanks.
Pop Rocks
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What if...

What if...eat your roommates?
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

Pretty sure that's illegal in every state but Alabama (and you need a permit for it in Alabama).
Imagine a long series of declines, short enough to step onto easily, and stretching out far enough that it's not too hard to balance on it with rollerskates. Now two of them in the same direction, staggered so you can lift one rollerskate for the next decline while the other is still rolling. Then another pair of the same going in the other direction. You now have a roller-trail for traveling across fairly level areas where all you have to do is lift your feet and let gravity pull you along. Rollerskates are compact and require minimal maintenance.
Do you think about this daily, or just every second month.

I mean, are they annoying or do you just not see the point of them?

I think I get what you mean... that would be interesting. I would hate to miss a step, though
It's an old plus4chan thing. I just wanted to bump the thread.
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I know, but wouldn't they spoil an omelette?
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It appears I have been outwitted. I will now tactically retreat before I suffer any further wounds to my honor.
Dr Goblin
As soon as I saw this I knew it was eat your roommate.
Autonywork !x4vv0ZYuAo
A beer hat, but for things like peanuts. Or Skittles.
Sounds like a choking hazard.
Autonymoose !x4vv0ZYuAo
I wasn't thinking a siphon that went straight to your mouth, more like a dispenser and you'd press it with your tongue to get a handfull's worth. The "beer hat" comes from wearing the major part on your head and having something that goes to your mouth.
Sports helmets that use weak, disposable materials to create crumple zones that absorb impact energy instead of just redistributing it. A less disposable variant: Use linear actuators in a matter like regenerative braking to turn the mechanical force into electricity, then dissipate it through LEDs to make players light up when they run into each other.
Crop circle substitute array: First, see if we can use magnetrons to bend crops similarly to how they are bent by those who claim there are non-manmade crop circles which are distinguished by being bent via microwave energy rather than mechanical pressure.

Once that's working, use the same technique as a substitute signal to develop a device that responds in a particular way to the signals which purportedly cause crop circle formation. Particularly, it should be able to then be reset to its original position on command, or after a short time.

Then put them in an array with a method of recording this signal reliably. Now we have a field that's responsive to crop-circle forming signals, but which can be written and re-written on repeatedly.This would allow us to see what order and speed the signal spreads across the array, and potentially more signals to be received in a small area and amount of time.

If noticed by those sending it, invention of a purpose-built circle array could also convey to them that we've uncovered more about the nature of the signal without sending a particular message to them beyond that.
>Island nation discovers toilets.
>Sewage system so bad it causes sinkholes until island is gone.
>Atlantis remembered as a civilization of geniuses.
You know how sometimes televised sports have special, friendly matches that don't go toward competitions (especially on holidays and stuff)? Why not have a little fun and get fans to vote for backyard house rules to apply to that match? Imagine international cricket with one-hand one-bounce, or beer-tennis, or football (American or League) with two extra tackles if you catch the kick-off on the full. Or maybe Mario NASCAR 64.
Well, what I know is in a sport like Association Football (aka euro mode) the pre season exhibition matches are usually still considered for worldwide rankings.
Even though there are a few changes like unlimited substitutions.

But its not a bad idea to go back to that.
They've been researching an alternative to the Offside rule for ages.
Mister Twister
What if history was not written by victors, but by time travelers FROM THE FUTURE? Someone in the future invented the time machine, went to the past to change it to what they prefer, return with memories intact, and enjoy the benefits the changed future provides.
They would be the victors then.
A small sachet of basic (pH) liquid to have after soft drinks and other really acidic stuff.
If ISIS/ISIL/etc. pretty much get munitions by stealing Kurd/Iraq/US weapons, then why not attach remote-detonated explosives to all large weapons? Not only will it destroy the weapon so that it can't be used by ISIS, but it may also kill the group that tries to seize it. At about $15-30 for a decent explosion (apparently 500g of C-4 is $15) I think it's a worthy investment.

So if a team around a something are killed or forced to retreat, ISIS don't gain weaponry and they may loose manpower. Win. (if the explosive can't be attached to the weapon's base for safety reasons, just bury the charge below the weapon site like a mine)
As a further note, hide C-4 around your flag. That shit is like honey to ants.
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A sad, lonely bachelor themed restaurant.

Cuisine would be cooked from ingredients like beef jerky, frozen waffles, cereal, and instant noodles.
It's faster than fast food, and maybe even cheaper. I think you might be on to something
A designated area filled with junk, old broken down cars etc that charged $5-$15 to go in with a sledgehammer and break whatever you want how much you want within a time limit based on how much you pay.
I dig this. Safety and lawsuits would be a bitch but I dig this.
>Safety and lawsuits would be a bitch
That's immediately what I thought when I read it, too. It would take some serious quality control, and you definitely wouldn't be able to use broken down cars or junk metal due to the risk of getting hurt by something rusted.

Really, I think it would be better to go for a more psychological approach. Take some cheap office furniture, like a cubicle desk, charge people a fair amount and let them go nuts. Hate your house for whatever reason (life or family issues), get to smash something that resembles your room in the house, or the entire house if your willing to shell out the dosh.

For bigger projects you could demand a pay advancement if you have to prepare anything before they can smash.

Model it out of places that people hate, and let them smash it up. Also have some random crap for people to destroy, if they don't want anything specific.
On the theme of lawsuits and safety issues:
>a small vial of infectious bacteria that will give you strong, noticeable illness symptoms that wear off in a couple of hours

The perfect way to avoid doing things!
And possibly fuck with your immunity system.
That's true, though if each decline was preceded by an incline, you would at worst get ramped into the air a bit instead of getting tripped right away, which isn't as bad. I'm thinking a ratio of three down to two up would work pretty well.

Thinking about it further, I'm guessing you could also have a track where each side is sloped toward the middle slightly, so you could step outward and roll in. This would also be a problem if it was too steep, but if combined with the steps could allow both to be made shallower.

Another idea: Something like http://www.thedrinkexchange.com/index.html but for art commission slots.
Meant to reply to >>395018
You know what would be nice? A website made to give you a sense of proportion, like a calculator.
42 billion. That's a big number. You know what 42 billion people looks like? I bet you don't. I sure as hell don't see it.
Let's try a million men. I can't picture it. How about a thousand? Still kinda hard for me. Hopefully you get my point. Large numbers by themselves are incomprehensible and therefore meaningless to an average person (except in mathematics, of course).

I propose a website with an interactive player that has input boxes that a person can type a number/value into, with a list next to it for units if necessary. The user can also opt to use objects as a unit, either by selecting from a list of models or uploading their own graphic to use.
When submitted, the site will generate a series of visual aids which the user can switch between, such as a 3D array the user can navigate, and various comparisons to well-known things of a similar magnitude.

T-this hasn't been done already, right?
How about the counter-terrorism forces organise for certain groups to start secretly dealing weapons with ISIS, except the weapons are self destructive. Video related. //youtube.com/watch?v=02VIY20Vp30youtube thumb
Not quite what you're talking about, but I came across this while looking into it and thought it was pretty neat http://www.onemorelevel.com/game/scale_of_the_universe_2012
Built in heating units under driveways and some roads that activate when it snows, so roads and driveways will be clear.

Maybe not financially viable, but maybe some rich people could install in for their driveways as a luxury?
//youtube.com/watch?v=xNP04UhToAMyoutube thumb
They exist already, and do cost thousands of dollars for a small area.
I heard about this concept a couple of years ago (not the indiegogo campaign though). The stuff people can do with solar panels already is amazing, it's just the cost that stops people.
↑↑↑ see-through panels for windows. Imagine those in a skyscraper.
How about a government-monetised app campaign similar to Pact (http://www.gym-pact.com) or Run An Empire (http://runanempire.com) [TL;DR, fitness/well-being apps]

So, when you achieve a well-being goal (eg. run around your block 10 times proven by GPS), the government pays you $0.05, or if you are in a gym for half an hour, you will get $0.10. It's not enough money to encourage cheating or bankrupt the government health system, but it's enough to encourage a healthier lifestyle for citizens.
The Sneaky Tiki

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>4K resolution CRT TVs
It would weigh as much as car. I really wish someone made new high quality CRTs now, though. There's clearly a market for it.
You know what would be a crazy idea? If Anonex (or whoever is running the site these days) fixed the goddamn delete button.
Mister Twister
Worked for me so far.
works for me too
Sounds like a personal problem.
What if all food companies were required to publish a video for each product outlining the full process of making it, along with a direct link to the video printed on the label? That way, you know exactly what is happening to the food you're eating.

Of course, this may cause issues when it comes to meat products.
Why would it cause issues? Everyone knows where meat comes from. Even the terrible one. There's more than enough video evidence already. If people don't care now, they won't care then.
Yeah, but I reckon people would get offended watching an animal get snuffed (assuming that part had to be included). I'm fine with it, but many people would be put off by it.

But then again, they could just not watch it. Yeah, I see your point.
I think people would just as much be disgusted by the way 3rd world farmers are treated, too. I mean the whole food industry is really fucked up. I get why people would focus on meat, but man that's far from being the only case of lack of basic humanity in the industry.
Freckle tattoo salon. Like a tanning salon with stencils, so you get freckle patterns and melanoma in your skin!
Tomato scented shampoo. If cucumbers and thyme can be a scent, so can tomatoes.
a containment thread for sjw debates, like the politics thread.
I think someone may have suggested it in the last /baw/, but a business where people can pay a couple of dollars to enter a room, and trash it to pieces.
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

Room, maybe not, but I have heard of places that let you pay to trash stuff like dishes and old electronics and whatnot. A local fair event in my old hometown used to let people take three whacks at a dead car with a sledgehammer for a couple of bucks.
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Mister Twister
There should be a version of YouTube for sharing audio ONLY. No video, not even image, just audio. To keep things legal, only commercially unavailable music should be allowed.
Mister Twister
Isn't it for original material and remixes only?
Yeah but it's basically the same thing. Plus it's more legal than your idea. Even commercially unavailable music would be iffy.
Strictly speaking, so it Youtube. It's not always enforced though.
How about we take all the world's nuclear waste and dump it in Chernobyl? It's already fucked up so we may as well use it.

Fun fact: some guys stole nuclear fuel from a power plant and didnt even wear gloves. Didnt go to well.
First of all, they're trying to clean up Chernobyl, and slowly making progress.

Second of all, the biggest issue with nuclear waste disposal continues to be ways of storing it where future archaeologists--in the case that we lose our records for whatever reason--don't assume it's a ritual site and wonder what could possibly have been so interesting that we put up so many warnings all over it.
>future archaeologists--in the case that we lose our records for whatever reason--don't assume it's a ritual site and wonder what could possibly have been so interesting that we put up so many warnings all over it.
put skull signs
If we saw a locked, ancient "holy place" with skulls drawn all over it we would be jumping for joy to see what was inside that had them so fussed.
It's impossible to make any place have a warning without drawing attention to it. A skull is the closest we have to a universal symbol for death.

If a person goes into a place with human skulls around it, it's their fault if they die.
>If a person goes into a place with human skulls around it, it's their fault if they die.
What a sentence.
What if the archaeologists aren't human, and don't recognize our cultural imagery of skulls as symbolic of death?
Well then if we are extinct, then there is no way we can communicate effectively with them. They're fucked, unless they somehow make the connection of that image to our remains.

I guess there's a couple of arguments for my side:
1) a skull is the best I can think of. Yes, it may not work with non-human life who do not instinctually recognise it, but what's the alternative? Maybe an drawing of a broken atom? That could work (but again relies on knowledge of atoms)
2) what is the big deal if a few explorers die in a highly irradiated area? Like, all life has value and all that, but hundreds of things die every second. Explorers are especially prone to dying. Aliens/humans shouldn't be that shocked.
Straight homogany. (Apparently homogany is not a word for homosexual marriage but I'm using it anyway)

Two legitimately straight partners enter an open, homosexual marriage. They can have sex with the opposite sex as much as they want without hurt feelings, but not have to deal with the opposite sex while raising a child. (poor kid though)
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

Well, this is a “crazy” ideas thread, and that’s about as crazy as it gets…
Music albums that consist of compilations of local radio jingles.
Most radio jingles are stock music purchased from albums, so...
Really? They seem farily imrpovised to me. I'd link an example, but seemingly none of them use the raido jingle on their web ads. So instead I link these non-examples that show nothing other than businesses I'm thinking of.
//youtube.com/watch?v=3XuKbea_Fxgyoutube thumb
Money (almost the world over) is merely a representation of agreed value. Whether it's backed by a commodity or not does not matter; paper money is still a representation of value, just physical value for a backed currency and imaginary value for a fiat currency.

Given this, assume the following scenario: A person removes $100 from their checking account as a single bill, then lights it on fire to destroy the note. This action was heavily recorded and irrefutable, so that no reasonable person would disagree on what happened to the bill. What, then, would stop the bank from simply adding $100 back to the person's account (perhaps less the cost of printing one $100 note)? If there is a law about this specific situation, why have it? No actual value was destroyed, merely the current representation of the value. If someone lights a picture of me on fire, the picture is destroyed, but I am still here.

Coin money is a bit different, because some coins do contain valuable metal (though not always to the value of the coin itself.)
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

Someone could counterfeit the bill well enough to fool video cameras and the average person.
>no value was destroyed
I disagree. I believe that paper(etc.) currency DOES have value beside its physical value. If you are outside a shop with no money at all, no bank account or cash, and we disregard your other belongings so you cannot do non-monetary trade, you cannot buy anything. To a shopkeeper, you have no value. However, if I give you a briefcase full of $100 bills, you can now buy things with those bills. While they don't have useful physical value (paper bills probably cost cents to print), they have serious trade value. The shopkeeper wants them so that he can trade them for other stuff. They are valuable to him.

Consider the reverse of your situation: the government mint prints off a fresh batch of $100 bills for you. There is irrefutable proof, etc., and once they give you the cash, you try and convert them to credit in your bank account. Why should they accept them, if they are only representations of value?

If cash was meaningless, then it would be useless.
Again, the scenario assumes it's 100% proven. The question isn't if the person could fake it, but what reasonable objection there would be against the bank just putting $100 back into the person's account.

I would never expect this to happen in real life, primarily because the destruction could still be faked in a number of ways. It's a thought experiment rather than a legal inquiry.

>no bank account or cash, and we disregard your other belongings so you cannot do non-monetary trade, you cannot buy anything
Only because you lack proof of sufficient funds and an agreement to transmit some of those funds at a later time. This is how a Credit Card works: You don't actually have anything of value you on, but the Credit Card (to a lesser extent, a Debit Card) is like an automatic IOU. The register will check with the card provider to make sure the buyer has funds, and then gives the person their purchase. Only later in the day (or, in some cases, many days) is the money actually transferred from your account to the store's. Checks are the same, but less dependable. Stores that go to remote areas or are mobile often have to store CC data and transmit it at a later time

>If cash was meaningless, then it would be useless.
Cash has meaning, and that meaning is giving physical form to imaginary value. Specifically, a value that our society collectively agrees upon, but is no less imaginary. This is easily shown by things such as credit cards: most places will accept that imaginary value despite the lack of cash. In a normal transaction you, the seller, and your bank/CC company all agree that a) you have money and b) you want to give some of money to the seller.

>Why should they accept them, if they are only representations of value?
Because by accepting them, the bank also accepts the value they represent. When you remove money in the form of cash, the bank and you agree that the cash represents the value removed from the bank account. My argument is that if the cash is provably destroyed, the value is represents still exists and could be credited back to the account.
They could, but why would they have any obligation to, especially if it unless it wasn't provably an accident?
>...agreement to transmit some of those funds at a later time
In that scenario, the point was that you had no funds. To buy would be to go into debt; to owe value you do not have.

>My argument is that if the cash is provably destroyed, the value is represents still exists and could be credited back to the account.
Where does the value exist? You took the value out of the account to represent it as cash.
If I have cash and give it to someone else, why should I not be refunded? According to my interpretation of your argument, you could say I no longer possess the representation of my value, and therefore it would be reasonable to refund me. I say that by dispossessing cash (via destruction or transmission) you dispossess the value it represents.
When you get a one hundred dollar bill, you are not holding an indicator that you own one hundred dollars, you are holding an object worth one hundred dollars. The decision that it was worth one hundred dollars was by an imaginary system, yes, but that's what it is. If the bank were to give you one hundred dollars of bread and you ate it, they wouldn't give you a refund either.
So here's one that came from a dream I had last night. A reality TV show about a group of people locked in a giant room that's like a big convenience store, but with ovens and microwaves and stuff, and it's packed from wall to wall with packaged food products. They're given a list of food in that "store" they have to eat before they're let out. It's all real food, but the catch is they can't tell what brand any of it is. It can be anything from generic store-bought brands to shit from other countries.
I could stuff empty vending machine capsules with fortune cookie papers and call them wisdom capsules.
I mean I already taped an entire page of them together and used cut-off trivia covered backs of ceral boxes to make a soddily crafted book of dubious knowledge. And if I could bother to learn how to type the Chinese characters on the back they'd all be in a relational database by now.
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What if intellectually property is nationalized and freely distributed by the state? And the government didn't award patents, but subsidized research and creative endeavors?
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

>What if intellectually property is nationalized and freely distributed by the state?

That isn’t a crazy idea. That is an insane one.
Ultimately, the government subsidizing research and creative endeavors would be the result of a universal basic income. I would push for a basic income first (because it's a great idea from an economic and humanitarian perspective all on it sown), and then push for the elimination of copyright and patent afterward. Those two actions combined would create a nation with an unparalleled level of creativity and innovation.
There are cartoon episodes (such as the one I am watching now) in which I like the subplot but not the main plot, or vice-versa. How about downloading movies/shows with a setting to select/deselect certain plotlines to play and skip deselected ones?
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A painting of flowers, except it's actually a small framed hanging garden with thin netting to keep the soil in but holes to let flowers out. Maybe even stack the soil at an angle to stop it falling out.

It probably exists but I can't find one.
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They exist. Though on a much larger scale than what you probably imagine. They're mostly used in office buildings to keep the air fresh.
Yet again, my dog and cat both want to play but not with eahc other. There should be a way to combine thowing and chasing toys with string dangling that allows cats to enjoy playing with dogs.
You can get small ones.

Awesome. Succulents too, so they hardly have to be watered.
>No longer available
Maybe I'll ry to build one then.
A motorcycle that looks like a centaur riding a pair of unicycles, with its arms for handlebars.
A town where kids are banned. Mostly as a refuge for pedophiles, either those who think they might act on their urges or who were caught and eventually released from prison but not a prison itself as anyone older than 18 can move there as well. Being caught with a kid, regardless of relation (not even someone's own children are allowed) would result in instant ejection from the town. Maybe one larger city for the country, maybe one medium-sized town per state. It would specialize in sex therapists.

Ideally it's set up as just an option for those convicted, and not a requirement, but if such a town existed I can easily see many states making it a requirement for convicted pedophiles to move to this town.
I was about to say that people who just hate children would go there by choice, but the stigma against pedophiles is pretty strong so I don't know if that would ever happen.
If it hasn't been done before, I'll try and make a montage out of all the montages that use "Don't You Forget About Me"
I would expect that people who want to avoid children entirely would go. They are likely to be the reason such a city would survive long-term. There would be some who's dislike is powerful enough to overcome the stigma, and a Pedo Town would still need a lot of non-pedophiles to be a workable city.

There probably would have to be a lot of work to overcome the stigma, yeah; at least enough that people realize that simply being a pedophile does not mean someone has abused children or is a horrible monster.
Who would want to willingly move to Pedo Town?
I'd market it as being more about having a city with lowered safety restrictions, like no demand for fences around pools because no kids to wander in and drown. Have all the stuff that gets banned at playgrounds for being too dangerous. Make public art instalations without worry about them getting climbed on and fallen off.
Ironically, people who hate children.
>Have all the stuff that gets banned at playgrounds for being too dangerous.

A town for only adults...and you still want playgrounds?
Well yeah, are you saying adults can't enjoy unstructured outdoor activities? To think only children can exercise without buiding a set of rigid rules around their acitivy, to me, suggests that the adults are their mental inferiors. Of course, it'd probably get styled as an outdoor extreme sports center, but the idea is similar.

Also, have you seen what kind of arbitrary novelty rooms get made in Japanese love hotels?
//youtube.com/watch?v=M3HAhvYynncyoutube thumb
There's prety much no way a city with no kids isn't going to have people using it as an excuse to be more lax about sexuality in general, just because it's not like there's going to be any kids around to see it. Unless there's another city that's already better known for it, anyway.

I mean what, are you thinking Nokids City would end up as North Korea as ruled by Mr .Wilson?
>Nokids City, due to removed distractions and lowered stress and restrictions, becomes more prosperous than all other cities
>society ultimately realises that having no children is the way to success
>human race dies out over the next century

Also, what's the policy for those who don't abort in this city? Simple eviction?
They are put upon a mule and banished to the wasteland.
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

aka New York City.
>Simple eviction?
Yeah, within a given amount of time. I can imagine there being "twin cities", where those who work or party in Nokids but have kids will live in a close-by Withkids City.
Tora Dora !n0CyHpL66I
Little movable barriers on the fronts/sides of car seats, for people who store their crap in their car. Never again will your piles of papers fall everywhere when you make a sharp right!
So now there's Kidtown next to Pedo Town?
What could possibly go wrong?
...yeah, ok, I didn't think that one through.
>someone called us the "stupid ideas thread"

As an official rule, punching someone because they said something that rubbed you the wrong way is silly. Now, I'm not going to go to bat for someone who got his jaw rocked for speaking foul of someone's mama. But it doesn't feel like a good precedent to set. Where is the line drawn exactly?

On top of that, there's also the idea of the retribution being inherently unequal. If someone calls your mother a fat sow, why can't you just call his mother a fat sow?
>On top of that, there's also the idea of the retribution being inherently unequal. If someone calls your mother a fat sow, why can't you just call his mother a fat sow?

People forget, but the old line "Eye for an Eye" was an admonishment against "justice" consisting of taking more from your attacker than they took from you. It's part of why Hammurabi's Code was considered an incredible stride forward in the rule of law and the why Babylonian civilization gave rise to all civilizations that came later--it prevented ever-growing cycles of retribution.
Even though it's difficult to draw a line somewhere, if someone sleeps with my girlfriend, or I catch someone trying to molest my child, I SHOULD be allowed to deck them multiple times in the face. In those situations, I am very well-justified in my anger and the other person shouldn't be allowed to file assault charges against me. I'm not exactly trying to encourage violence, but it pisses me off how no matter what stupid thing they did, people can still file assault and battery against you for giving them what they deserve.
No, you shouldn't. Police brutality is bad enough--empowering ordinary citizens to mete out their own ideas of justice through violence would turn civilization into a madhouse. We need to increase accountability, not make it more difficult. You are allowed to employ the bare minimum level of violence necessary to defend yourself / your children / others under your protection from harm, but retribution is neither your responsibility nor your right, and society is worsened if it becomes so. The fact that you get a visceral thrill out of the idea of doing violence to those who offend you doesn't make it beneficial to society.

You demonstrate this well enough by comparing "someone sleeps with my girlfriend" to "someone tries to molest my child." If someone sleeps with your girlfriend and she's fine with it, you are in no way owed any sort of recompense. You are perfectly justified in breaking up with her, but the person who slept with her did not betray you, and in no way owes you anything, including an apology. You were not part of that transaction. You feel hurt because your girlfriend was either unsatisfied by you or didn't care enough about your feelings to remain faithful--and you have every right to feel hurt by that. But the only reason you think you're owed a chance to punch the guy she cheated on you with is because you want to feel like more of a man by punching the guy she decided was more important than her monogamy with you. And that's retarded.
Your bias towards polyamory is what kills your argument.
It's not about polyamory at all. It's about not being a goddamned barbarian.
You are calling what 90% of the human race thinks is acceptable to do barbarism.
>if someone sleeps with my girlfriend
>I SHOULD be allowed to deck them multiple times in the face.


That's not how these things work. Your girlfriend doesn't belong to you. She's a person with her own agency and she decided to fuck someone else. That's on her, not the dude (or woman) she's fucking.


Are you /pol/-kun? I'd appreciate it if you kept your retard leaps of logic in the politics thread. No one said anything about polyamory, just that you aren't justified in assaulting someone for fucking your girlfriend even though SHE is the one who you are in a relationship with. The guy you responded to even said it was within your rights to want to break up with her if she cheated on you. Are you even reading?



Man, you are /pol/-kun. No one here is this retarded.
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I suppose this is what the thread gets for trying to make a joke. Back to SYM for me.
>literally everyone who disagrees with me is /pol/-kun, i should probably ruin every single thread by never ever shutting up about them
That IS a bad idea, anon.
I don't really care whether or not it's him. It's similar thinking and doing it riles him up, which I'm not sure why you care about it, given it's all he does around here. And honestly, you of all people trying to tell someone else off is hilarious, given all the shitposting you do around here.

Oh, and that's a fine strawman on your post. It's not that I think it's him for disagreeing for me. I've never accused you of being him for example (I'd honestly mistake you for some other person around here desperately trying to locate a golden mean where there isn't one). It's the same variety of retarded thinking, making ridiculously large leaps in logic to "prove" points. How the hell else do you think he came to the conclusion that *not* supporting assault against some third party is somehow in support of polyamory? That doesn't even begin to approach logical thinking.
And in addition, it's weird as hell that this is what you took from my post, given there's a counter argument present there that's not entirely based on the part of my post that triggered you.
Annnnd, I'll go ahead and apologize for that post, not the last two but the one that kicked off this bullshit. Didn't seem like it was a big deal when I made it.

I made this in 3 different posts because I'm actually playing Dark Souls at the moment.
i will never forgive you
dark souls isn't that bad of a game, come on
dark souls more like EASY MODE souls for GAY BABY'S
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well maybe i am a gay baby
Gift cards that are worth slightly more than they cost to purchase.

It's normally better to give a person straight-up cash than a gift card as a gift card is equal in monetary value but restrictive as well, but if a person buys a cheaper-than-listed-value gift card to ensure better value for money, it guarantees the recipient will buy items at that store, with only marginal impact on store profits. Also, you can't buy gift cards using those gift cards.

(This hasn't been done already, has it?)
Sort of. There will be deals where if you buy $X from a specific store or through a specific manner, it only costs $Y. Rarer is buying $X in gift cards and get an extra $Y gift card. Some places (like Subway) will do buy $X gift card and get a free item during the holidays.

As an example, I paid $80 for a $100 Steam Wallet card through Best Buy's eBay store this summer.
How about gift cards that are worth slightly more than they cost, but can only be used after a two week delay?
Tora Dora !n0CyHpL66I
Mi think they recently passed a law saying gift cards can't expire. But I wonder if it'd be legal to have them briefly worth more would be doable.
I like that idea.
I didn't mean they'd expire, but that they'd have a delay of some weeks after purchase until they activated.
If the pattern of how people use the cards once purchased is consistent, this means stores selling them will get a heads up on what's going to happen.
DudeWithMoney !SFwR6DnH/Y

Not only does that sound legal, it sounds an awful lot like a very short-term bond.
Here are two ideas for ads in games. I don't know whether they have been done before.

- an in-game billboard with real ads on them (ie. they link to an ad service, so a new one comes up every minute/play)
- a page on the menu that gives you in-game currency for viewing ads. The more you see, the more points you get.
Both of those definitely already exist.
Something that's like a payphone, but with a text terminal that lets people send TTY messages at rates comparable to those offered by pay-per-text cell phone plans.
Here's a crazy idea I don't even subscribe to.

There is a theory that time is discrete (ie. there is a quantum unit of time ["chronon"] that is indivisible; there is no smaller amount of time). Assuming this is true and matter is also discrete, if you have an object go toward another object at a high enough speed (more than the object's width per chronon), it will never collide as there is never a viable frame of time in which the objects are colliding. Like in video games, when an object is going so fast compared to the frame rate so that the code never detects a collision on any given frame.

TL;DR if time isn't continuous, you can make any objects go through one another if you make them go fast enough.
Take a list of computer maintinence and administration activities that one might perform as a learning exercise.
Create a standard virtual machine setup in which to do these tasks from a controlled starting configuration.
Share the VM and record yourself performing these tasks as fast as possible as if you were speedrunning a game.
Bankruptcy Insurance
Genetically engineer a variant of holly that grows in temperate climates but has caffinated rather than poisionous (to humans) berries like those of some tropical holly variants, to reduce United States dependency on caffine imports.
Robotic dogs that don't primarily serve to entertain humans, but are instead designed to work with actual dogs.
Thinking of how regenerative braking sytems work in the context of braking to avoid excessive speed when going downhill and using the stored energy to avid losing speed while going uphill, I considered that a similar afect could be acheived by a vehichle which uses a tall mast which raises and lowers a heavy weight according to the vehichle's altitude such that the altitude of the vehichle's center of gravity stays at the same while the vehichle goes up and down hills. Or I suppose it could still simply regulate speed directly instead of trying to measure altitude?
//youtube.com/watch?v=tEqvwnlMRvAyoutube thumb
Imagine a process like this with materials which act as semiconducters so as to create handmade microcircuitry.
Cattle eventually learning to brand themselves and their herd so that people think they belong to someone who doens't exist and shoo them back into the wild where they continue to roam feral.
Alternatively, extreme animal-activists doing the same thing.
Using /r9k/ extracts for use in teaching psychology or similar courses. Like all boards, there's some great, useful stuff in there once you get past the shitposting (which may take a while)

I honestly think a case study of a congregation space of social outcasts will help a therapist understand what they may be dealing with.
I know when I used /r9k/ I became a jaded intolerable shithead who was sure anyone who wasn't an introvert or male was out to publically humiliate me.

Yeah, I wonder what a therapist would do with that.
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

Reconsider their job.
A simple diving mask which employs a heatset connected to hydrophones and underwater speakers on the outside of the mask, to allow the wearer to speak freely underwater by dealing with the issue of air and water having levels of acoustic impedence. It should also have a dial to modulate frequency, with the hydrophone modulated in direct inverse to the microphone. In this way one could shift between frequency ranges to listen in on different forms of animal life and attempt to mimic their sounds.
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/hush-plug-control-via-smartphone-from-anywhere#/ This seems like the right thread for this.
>every reward tier is limited in quantity to ensure there's no way they can get flooded with more orders at release than they're actually prepared to fill
In terms of business decisions, this is the first time I've seen a campaign that's been run this sanely.
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1) Develop immunity to iocaine powder.
2) Put iocaine powder in your food you don't want your roommates to eat.
3) Put iocaine powder in the rest of your food.
4) Don't tell them.
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

You are not the Dread Pirate Roberts.
0) Become the Dread Pirate Roberts.
Tbh this is the first step to any worthwhile plan.
The only way to do it is to serve as the Dread Pirate Roberts cabin-boy until he dies.
Like i said, key start to any solid plan
Your roomate could eat your iocane power while you're trying to develop the immunity to get one too.
Pig farmers renting out their livestock to tattoo artists so they can practice on skin before working on humans.
Mister Twister
Are you suggesting this isn't already happening?
Reverse spelling bee. You are given a word and its spelling and you have to state its definition (or maybe its pronunciation?)
Eucalyptus flavoured Liqueur

edit: oh snap, there's eucalyptus vodka. I might get some.
That's called Balderdash. It's a board game. One of my favorites, actually. Though it's also got a bit where you try to bluff the other players into thinking your definition is correct, if you don't know the definition.
Darc Discordia !!VzpfrKjhXFf
That game is the best. Back in high school we'd go to my grandma's for dinner every Friday with some other family members and most weeks we'd play Balderdash. It's super fun.
I feel like making a parody edit on 1812 Overture, just instead of cannons, they're atomic bombs
You know how microsopes have both coarse and fine adjustment knobs? I'd like it if volume controls were also like that.
As someone with pretty messed up hearing (I'm hard of hearing but my ears are super sensitive to high frequencies) I would seriously love this and pay lots extra for it
Don't like a YouTuber? Buy them some traffic so their AdSense account gets banned.
Sorry, I don't listen to the devil.
Drats, foiled again!
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A game where every single control is a scrollbar.

Want to turn around? Horizontal scrollbar.
Want to look up? Vertical scrollbar.
Want to crouch or jump? Scrollbar.
Want to change weapon? Scrollbar.
Want to fire or reload? Change the value of the gun's scrollbar.

(this hasn't been done, right?)
Corn that's been genetically engineered to produced malt sugar instead of sucrose.
Etch-a-Sketch: The game?
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...yeah. I guess so.
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While flossing, I was thinking of a premise for a story, involving normal life but with a strange and unusual element (a premise that so often works). My premise was a man who's dick was a cactus. What would his sex life be like?

And the solution came quicker than I expected: he would eventually become the world's most cunning linguist. The end.

So, my story will be exactly 1 paragraph long.
Or it would start fucking cats, since he apparently has a dick like a cat's.
Filming an adaptation of Hamlet and Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead at the same time.
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An animated short about a male and female pair of post-apocalyptic survivors set to Sheryl Crow 's Soak Up The Sun. "Soaking up the Sun" is a euphemism for the grow lamp that the survivor pair have and the short amount of time the Sun appears from behind the clouds that Earth are constantly covered in. And what the term "lighten up" is referring for the survivors using a flamethrower to kill the mutants. It ends with the male survivor finally succumbing and becoming a mutant. The female survivor shoots him in his head with her "45" caliber 1911. The song ends, and then for 10 seconds of no music and the female crying.
A political party that chooses its nominee by having 2^ceiling(log2(sqrt(sqrt(national population)))) pre-primaries in various local regions followed by a single elimination tournament of primaries, allowing anyone in the involved candidate's regions (and those they win over the course of the tournament) allowed to vote in the tournament regerdless of their affiliation, and with no official party policies other than using this method in the primaries and supporting whoever wins it.
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

I see the phrase "single elimination tournament", but I don’t see anything about fighting. What kind of lame-ass bullshit is this?
Video porn sites with orientation filters. I don't want to see male actors. Is that so weird?
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

This is what "solo", "lesbian", and "girl-on-girl" filters/tags/categories are for.
yes, but honestly I haven't seen a site where many videos are tagged properly. They're not like boorus.

I've seen "guy fucks two lesbians" videos all over the lesbian tag, and most solo videos don't even get tagged "solo".

Am I just on the wrong sites or something?
Alarm clocks that tell scary stories so you're afraid to go back to sleep.
There are some pretty cool alarm clocks out there.

One of them dangles from the roof, and retracts a bit every time you hit 'snooze' so that eventually you have to get up to reach it.
We should fuse halloween and christmas into a single celebration that takes all of november
Mister Twister
That will only drive the suicide rate up.
Mister Twister
Deepthroats were invented by cavewomen as a method of cleaning the cavedick before the caveman would stick it in her.
>...before the caveman would stick it in her cave.

I dunno, I think the mouth might be a worse place to put filth.
Someone asked me to invent a way to spray ice cream out of a bottle. Seeing that, in its frozen state, ice cream is far too thick to spray, I think the best way to handle this would be to mix the ice cream with liquid nitrogen as it's being dispenses so that it freezes mid-air after already being in the form of droplets.
Mister Twister
You get 30 internet points.
Thank you, Twister.
A dish called "the debugging station" that consists of edible insects served on a container or platter that looks like a computer monitor.
How about a Noah's Deathmatch thing where we get like two or ten or a hundred of each species (or at least each species larger than an insect), put them in the same environment and see which ones become extinct last.

Ok, it's completely unethical, but it would be interesting to see which species' would win. I reckon a bear or alligator would be top, but rabbits may be able to repopulate faster than their death rate.
In fact, it's possible that, so long as there is grass, a valid food chain could survive indefinitely.

I like it!
>How about a Noah's Deathmatch thing where we get like two or ten or a hundred of each species (or at least each species larger than an insect), put them in the same environment and see which ones become extinct last.

I'm pretty sure that's called "The Ecosystem."
Yes, but the ecosystems we have are mostly divided and segregated.
*Now* they are. As a result of Noah's Deathmatch making them look for places to hide from the ones who were kicking their asses, or places to put their excess offspring for the more successful ones.
Alpharius a go go
Jousting at the Olympics.
In theory, a homosexual man could be in a relationship with a trap, and introduce ""her"" to his ultra-conservative parents so that they think he is straight.
One also wonders--if someone comes out to their conservative parents as trans, would the fact that they're also gay (which is to say, attracted to people of the same gender which they've transitioned to) make things worse or better in the conservative parent's mind?

Like would the parent see it as just being straight but "pretending" to be the "wrong" gender? Or would they see it as their child going from being comfortably cishet to being a double-whammy of queerness?
To allay the barrage of questions toward celebrity scientists which lie outside their areas of expertise, I propose celebrity information desk attendants whose job is to be good at looking up who to refer a question toward when the answer can't be easily looked up and verified.
An arty gallery heist themed paintball game where the objective is to remove art in the form of framed sketches from the gallery without being hit by the guards, with a prize of whatever you managed to escape with.
May as well put up blank or simple pattern canvases that get painted by the firefight. Use it as a shield for protection and a nice pattern of splatters. Frame it afterwards.
Alpharius a go go
Happy meals, but with books instead of toys.
The Adventures of Ronald McDonald in McDonaldland
Mister Twister
I wish I could dislike on Facebook.

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Crazy idea: what if 4chan users could vote to ban one other poster per day?

Once a post gets three votes against it, the poster is banned for 24 hours. Since users only get one vote per day, they will make it count.

(yes, I realise dynamic IPs and etc. could be abused)
It would result in a lot less dissenting opinion being expressed.
Mister Twister
Mob rule, huh? Well, you better agree with the popular opinions ALL THE TIME, or else...........
Given only one ban vote a day, I'd like to think it would be used against legitimate trolls and shitposters who attempt to ruin a thread, rather than controversial opinions.
A Chinese restaraunt where the fortunes in cookies are just randomly selected recent Twitter posts.
Starting a numbers station with a heavy arabic accent and getting permav&.

Nice. Maybe even a random Jayden Smith quote.
A website, similar format to reddit, in which people post and upvote posts. However, there is no real interaction or community: all upvotes and replies are made randomly by bots that pass a turing test.
Mister Twister
*open cookie*
>Look at those dumb people, they are so dumb! Feels good being smart! #NotEvenSmug
I'd love that.
How long does it take to create, package and sell them? Seeing as there are a lot of political tweets, it might be an interesting experience to get delayed tweets.

*open cookie*
>Oh come on, there's no chance in hell that this will end up happening #Brexit
Did we humans domesticate ourselves?
Mister Twister
Imagine if we discover another habitable planet and we do a planet-swap: each planet's intelligent species will most likely deplete different resources and each planet will probably not have virii and bacterium that attack the other planet's species.

>inb4 just dont fuck up this planet in the first place
It would have the net result same as Europeans first contacts in "New" world. Unknown viruses that one race was immune to through centuries of exposure, but will cause mass epidemics with the other race. That is principally what happened to the indigenous people of South America and North America both.
It very unlikely that viruses and bacteria that evolved to prey upon an alien planet's lifeforms would be able to prey upon us for quite some time. Of course, for the same reason, the plants and animals on that world are relatively likely to be inedible to us.
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Heros of the Storm amiibos. And each skin gets a new amiibo.
I'm tempted to reupload a cartoon episode and edit in a few bloody hand prints or splotches of blood into the background. Just to fuck with people, you know?
Dentures that are actually mullosks with teeth-like shells that can live in your mouth. In particular, it wold actively keep itself achored, making dentures usable for pets and anyone generally not be able to do the work of keeping their dentures secured.
MIT created a psychopath AI by letting it learn from Reddit:

Not sure where that ranks on the scale of crazy ideas.
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>We trained Norman on image captions from an infamous subreddit (the name is redacted due to its graphic content) that is dedicated to document and observe the disturbing reality of death.
Probably /r/WatchPeopleDie.
The admins were going to ban that one, but thankfully never did. I don't visit but it's important and educational, especially for sheltered people.
>didn't test on images due to ethical concerns
It's basically a feedback-aided random caption generator. Still fun though. Their Nightmare Generator is much better, although the faces at the top may be particularly scary for the sensitive. The place photos below just look really nice.
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oh wow, there is a moderately successful project of backing up the Internet Archive. i am amazed
75% is backed up, 25% of that is backed up twice.
A nation or state where reproduction is strictly forbidden. Only emigration is allowed.
Seems like people would need to be sterilized to actually uphold that amongst the populace.
Not really, you can just make the cost of living so high that nobody can afford children. It won't be "strictly forbidden" to have children, but childbirth will be low enough to pose a serious demographic issue, so immigration is seen as a necessity. See: Japan, Europe.

USA isn't affected because their people are already dumb enough that they don't care about silly things like whether they can afford children or not.
User 9
Old Economy Village
User 9
If we could get deer to use large, deer-sized scooters, I wonder how fast they could go on them.
Meister Tweister
They could not turn for shit.
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I'm still waiting for anger powered jetpacks. But I think we are closer for erotic taxidermy to happen in real life.
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On that note, the guy who did that comic is currently building underwater hamster habitats.
Hampture, September 13th 2017: Fish added!youtube thumb
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RC drug delivery.
What is the deal with peoples obsession with CRT televisions?
Mister Twister
They can have the lowest lag imaginable, and the best colours. NOT TO SAY YOU CANNOT HAVE EQUAL COLOURS ON OTHER TVS, but there is also nostalgia.
No, they don't always have the best picture quality. What makes them desired is that old game consoles were designed with CRTs in mind. They used the characteristics of the display (and sometimes even the video cable) to come up with better results. Like always having square picture even with non-square pictures, creating extra colours or fake transparency on hardware that could not do it, using the phosphor afterglow to make interlaced high resolution look less shaky, etc.
Mister Twister
Well, all games I really care for (PS1, PS2, PS3, component and MDMI era in general) do not use such tactics, so I will never need a CRT. A good progressive flat panel made with ANY technology will do the job.
It is arguable because PS1 does hardware dithering to fake a higher colour count and has such a low resolution that CRT screens make it look better. The screen is way sharper because the CRT can match the resolution of the game, while a flat panel would do some basic bilinear stretching with variable amount of ringing noise to make it run on its native resolution.
PS2 doesn't run in high resolution or in widescreen (except for very few select titles), and many games actually use 480i, so it would look better on a decent CRT too. Except for the games that actually do progressive output, which is not that common.

PS3 and above, games with digital output, will of course look the best on digital panels.
Mister Twister
You were wise to use the key word, "arguable". Because if you have a good deinterlacer (either built-in or something like a Framemeister), you can make 480i and 576i look good on a flat panel. And, arguably 240/288p of PS1 games does not look better on a CRT, since it introduces black scanlines.
The problem isn't the deinterlacing but that the low-res polygon graphics look really really blurry when stretched out to a HD panel. A good scaler helps, but those have their own downsides: Framemeister is extremely expensive and EOL, and has huge problems when a game switches resolutions mid-game, while the OSSC is good for 240p and switches resolutions fast but it is absolutely trash for interlaced games (it makes them look WORSE).

the Crt scanlines and shadow mask / aperture grille layouts do end up making the graphics much sharper, since each pixel is more defined, as opposed to a blurry soup on a hd panel.

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1680266930.003717 - 0.000478 (0.000478s): core files loaded

1680266930.003797 - 0.000558 (0.000080s): kobak\debug: setting up new instance

1680266930.003814 - 0.000575 (0.000017s): kobak\debug: finished setup

1680266930.003818 - 0.000579 (0.000004s): kobak\kcfg: setting up new instance

1680266930.003899 - 0.000660 (0.000081s): kobak\kcfg: finished setup

1680266930.003905 - 0.000666 (0.000006s): kobak\controls: setting up new instance

1680266930.003912 - 0.000673 (0.000007s): kobak\controls: finished setup

1680266930.003914 - 0.000675 (0.000002s): kobak\modules: setting up new instance

1680266930.003916 - 0.000677 (0.000002s): kobak\modules: finished setup

1680266930.003981 - 0.000742 (0.000065s): kobak\modules: loading module kobak

1680266930.003986 - 0.000747 (0.000005s): kobak\pages: setting up new instance

1680266930.003997 - 0.000758 (0.000011s): kobak\pages: finished setup

1680266930.004000 - 0.000761 (0.000003s): kobak\plugins: setting up new instance

1680266930.004003 - 0.000764 (0.000003s): kobak\plugins: finished setup

1680266930.004154 - 0.000915 (0.000151s): kobak\kobak: setting up new instance

1680266930.004161 - 0.000922 (0.000007s): kobak\kobak: finished setup

1680266930.004164 - 0.000925 (0.000003s): kobak\cache: setting up new instance

1680266930.004167 - 0.000928 (0.000003s): kobak\cache: finished setup

1680266930.004169 - 0.000930 (0.000002s): kobak\cache: loading cache file: kobak_cache

1680266930.004175 - 0.000936 (0.000006s): kobak\cache: checking cache file: kobak_cache

1680266930.004336 - 0.001097 (0.000161s): kobak\current: setting up new instance

1680266930.004343 - 0.001104 (0.000007s): kobak\current: finished setup

1680266930.004347 - 0.001108 (0.000004s): kobak\errors: setting up new instance

1680266930.004354 - 0.001115 (0.000007s): kobak\errors: finished setup

1680266930.004682 - 0.001443 (0.000328s): kobak\modules: finished loading module "kobak"

1680266930.004687 - 0.001448 (0.000005s): kobak\modules: finished loading 1 module(s)

1680266930.004690 - 0.001451 (0.000003s): kobak\current: creating default rewrite rules

1680266930.004691 - 0.001452 (0.000001s): kobak\current: starting validation of current section

1680266930.004699 - 0.001460 (0.000008s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "before_validation"

1680266930.004723 - 0.001484 (0.000024s): kobak\plugins: finished running 1 actions for hook "before_validation"

1680266930.004729 - 0.001490 (0.000006s): kobak\current: finished validating section

1680266930.004735 - 0.001496 (0.000006s): kobak\current: finished validating prerequisites

1680266930.004740 - 0.001501 (0.000005s): kobak\current: finished validating optional inputs

1680266930.004745 - 0.001506 (0.000005s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "validation"

1680266930.004755 - 0.001516 (0.000010s): KOBAK BBS: validating board

1680266930.004947 - 0.001708 (0.000192s): kobak\ban: query: querying posts

1680266930.004959 - 0.001720 (0.000012s): kobak\db: setting up new instance

1680266930.004961 - 0.001722 (0.000002s): kobak\db: Attempting to connect to database

1680266930.005620 - 0.002381 (0.000659s): kobak\db: Successfully connected to database

1680266930.005628 - 0.002389 (0.000008s): kobak\db: finished setup

1680266930.006421 - 0.003182 (0.000793s): KOBAK BBS: loading board specific plugins

1680266930.006949 - 0.003710 (0.000528s): KOBAK BBS: finished loading board specific plugins

1680266930.006958 - 0.003719 (0.000009s): KOBAK BBS: validating thread

1680266930.006966 - 0.003727 (0.000008s): kobak\thread: query: start

1680266930.006973 - 0.003734 (0.000007s): kobak\thread: query: thread mode set, calling posts query.

1680266930.006991 - 0.003752 (0.000018s): kobak\post: query: querying posts

1680266930.015226 - 0.011987 (0.008235s): kobak\post: query: constructing new post objects

1680266930.020077 - 0.016838 (0.004851s): kobak\post: query: starting lookups for thread locked statuses

1680266930.020208 - 0.016969 (0.000131s): kobak\post: query: setting up references/backlinks

1680266930.020575 - 0.017336 (0.000367s): kobak\post: get_posts: querying out-of-thread quotes

1680266930.021147 - 0.017908 (0.000572s): kobak\post: get_posts: applying quote backlinks to posts

1680266930.022216 - 0.018977 (0.001069s): kobak\post: query: finished.

1680266930.022233 - 0.018994 (0.000017s): kobak\thread: query: posts queried, setting up thread object.

1680266930.022256 - 0.019017 (0.000023s): kobak\thread: query: finished.

1680266930.022289 - 0.019050 (0.000033s): kobak\plugins: finished running 1 actions for hook "validation"

1680266930.022344 - 0.019105 (0.000055s): kobak\current: Template file found

1680266930.022347 - 0.019108 (0.000003s): kobak\current: setting up HTML vars

1680266930.022351 - 0.019112 (0.000004s): kobak\html: setting up new instance

1680266930.022374 - 0.019135 (0.000023s): kobak\html: finished setup

1680266930.022378 - 0.019139 (0.000004s): kobak\current: setting up per-page HTML vars

1680266930.022386 - 0.019147 (0.000008s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "setup_html"

1680266930.022485 - 0.019246 (0.000099s): kobak\plugins: finished running 4 actions for hook "setup_html"

1680266930.022487 - 0.019248 (0.000002s): kobak\current: finished setting up all HTML vars

1680266930.022489 - 0.019250 (0.000002s): start rendering html

1680266930.022545 - 0.019306 (0.000056s): loading thread

1680266930.022580 - 0.019341 (0.000035s): called header.php

1680266930.022588 - 0.019349 (0.000008s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "header_meta"

1680266930.022660 - 0.019421 (0.000072s): kobak\plugins: finished running 5 actions for hook "header_meta"

1680266930.022797 - 0.019558 (0.000137s): kobak\cache: loading cache file: kobak_banners

1680266930.022805 - 0.019566 (0.000008s): kobak\cache: checking cache file: kobak_banners

1680266930.023164 - 0.019925 (0.000359s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "after_postmessage"

1680266930.023180 - 0.019941 (0.000016s): kobak\plugins: finished running 1 actions for hook "after_postmessage"

1680266930.023198 - 0.019959 (0.000018s): rendering thread 392806

1680266930.023206 - 0.019967 (0.000008s): rendering reply 392806

1680266930.023284 - 0.020045 (0.000078s): rendering reply 392807

1680266930.023312 - 0.020073 (0.000028s): rendering reply 392808

1680266930.023336 - 0.020097 (0.000024s): rendering reply 392815

1680266930.023362 - 0.020123 (0.000026s): rendering reply 392816

1680266930.023384 - 0.020145 (0.000022s): rendering reply 392817

1680266930.023405 - 0.020166 (0.000021s): rendering reply 392919

1680266930.023432 - 0.020193 (0.000027s): kobak\kmedia: setting up new instance

1680266930.023437 - 0.020198 (0.000005s): kobak\kmedia: finished setup

1680266930.023458 - 0.020219 (0.000021s): rendering reply 392920

1680266930.023483 - 0.020244 (0.000025s): rendering reply 392924

1680266930.023508 - 0.020269 (0.000025s): rendering reply 392937

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1680266930.040263 - 0.037024 (0.000136s): called footer.php

1680266930.041283 - 0.038044 (0.001020s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "footer_meta"

1680266930.041419 - 0.038180 (0.000136s): kobak\plugins: finished running 9 actions for hook "footer_meta"

1680266930.041422 - 0.038183 (0.000003s): completed rendering most of the html

1680266930.041473 - 0.038234 (0.000051s): starting debug

1680266930.042502 - 0.039263 (0.001029s): starting debug_t

1680266930.04424200: end

SQL statistics:

time taken: 0.00075793 SELECT *, ( SELECT GROUP_CONCAT(DISTINCT `kobaboardban`.`boardid` ORDER BY `kobaboardban`.`boardid` SEPARATOR ',') FROM `kobaboardban` WHERE `banid` = `id` GROUP BY `banid` ) AS `active_boards` FROM `kobaban` WHERE ( (`iplong1` = '03eefa49') OR (`iplong1` <= '03eefa49' AND '03eefa49' <= `iplong2`) ) AND `type` IN(-1,0,1,2,3) AND (`id` IN ( SELECT `banid` FROM `kobaboardban` WHERE `boardid` IN(1) ) OR `global` = 1) ORDER BY `type`,`expiration` DESC no rows found or affected (prepared query)
time taken: 0.00817299 SELECT p.*, r.time r_time, r.reason r_reason, r.ipmd5 r_ipmd5, r.ipcrypt r_ipcrypt, r.password r_password, r.userid r_userid, s.total_posts, s.total_files, s.total_image, s.total_audio, s.total_video, s.total_swf, s.unique_ip, s.unique_user FROM `kobapost` p LEFT JOIN `kobareport` r on p.boardid = r.boardid and p.postid = r.postid LEFT JOIN `kobapoststats` s on p.boardid = s.boardid and p.postid = s.threadid WHERE p.`boardid` = '1' AND p.`postid` = '392806' AND `parentid` = '0' AND `deleted` = '0' UNION ALL SELECT p.*, r.time r_time, r.reason r_reason, r.ipmd5 r_ipmd5, r.ipcrypt r_ipcrypt, r.password r_password, r.userid r_userid, null as total_posts, null as total_files, null as total_image, null as total_audio, null as total_video, null as total_swf, null as unique_ip, null as unique_user FROM `kobapost` p LEFT JOIN `kobareport` r on p.boardid = r.boardid and p.postid = r.postid WHERE p.`boardid` = '1' AND `parentid` = '392806' AND `deleted` = '0' ORDER BY `parentid`,`postid` no error (prepared query)
time taken: 0.00053978 SELECT `boardid`, `parentid`, `postid` FROM `kobapost` WHERE (`boardid` = 1 AND `postid` IN(403235,41035120)) AND `deleted` = 0 no error


after_postmessage actions: 1 start: 1680266930.02316900 end: 1680266930.02317700 took (total): 0.000008
before_validation actions: 1 start: 1680266930.00470400 end: 1680266930.00472000 took (total): 0.000016
footer_meta actions: 9 start: 1680266930.04128900 end: 1680266930.04141500 took (total): 0.000126
header_meta actions: 5 start: 1680266930.02259100 end: 1680266930.02265700 took (total): 0.000066
setup_html actions: 4 start: 1680266930.02239000 end: 1680266930.02248100 took (total): 0.000091
validation actions: 1 start: 1680266930.00474700 end: 1680266930.02228300 took (total): 0.017536

Rewrite/redirect rules:

Redirect /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/0.html(?:\?.*)?$/ $matches[1]\/ 302
Redirect /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/1.html(?:\?.*)?$/ $matches[1]\/ 302
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/(\d\w*)s.png$/ /$matches[1]/thumbs/$matches[2]s.png
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/?(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=index&board=$matches[1]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/([0-9]*)\.html(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=index&board=$matches[1]&pagenumber=$matches[2]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/catalog\.html(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=catalog&board=$matches[1]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/t([0-9]*)\.(html|json|rss)(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=thread&board=$matches[1]&thread=$matches[2]&ext=$matches[3]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/posts_feed\.rss$/ index.php?section=posts_feed&board=$matches[1]&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/threads_feed\.rss$/ index.php?section=threads_feed&board=$matches[1]&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_posts\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_posts&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_threads\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_threads&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_nsfw_posts\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_posts&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_nsfw_threads\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_threads&ext=rss

rules in htaccess format:

RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/0.html(?:\?.*)?$ $1/ [R=302,L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/1.html(?:\?.*)?$ $1/ [R=302,L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/(\d\w*)s.png$ /$1/thumbs/$2s.png [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)/(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=index&board=$1 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/([0-9]*)\.html(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=index&board=$1&pagenumber=$2 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/catalog\.html(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=catalog&board=$1 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/t([0-9]*)\.(html|json|rss)(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=thread&board=$1&thread=$2&ext=$3 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/posts_feed\.rss$ index.php?section=posts_feed&board=$1&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/threads_feed\.rss$ index.php?section=threads_feed&board=$1&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_posts\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_posts&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_threads\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_threads&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_nsfw_posts\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_posts&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_nsfw_threads\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_threads&ext=rss [L,QSA]

Current time:

2023-03-31 05:48:50