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No.418789
/rgdg/ Retro Guardian Development GeneralSeltzr
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The New Radical Adventures of Golden Guardian

The Golden Guardian universe get's advanced to the late 80s/mid 90s and now GG is mentoring her own festy sidekick.

Anchor all major plot discussion here
No.418790
Seltzr
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Aubrey Page/Golden Guardian anchor post here
No.418791
Anonymous
Replies:>>418793
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Oh, I was just about to make this thread myself. I wasn't going to call it a general because this thread will likely last for years here.

A new character in the Golden Girl universe is in development.
She's Golden Guardian's sidekick in the 1990s.

Her name is (tentatively) Bronze Buster. She's a "dark age" hero/character who is at odds with her mentor over the methods used to enforce justice.
No.418792
Seltzr
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Sydney Keegan anchor post here
No.418793
Anonymous
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>>418791
This is a good representation of the tension between her and her mentor.
No.418794
Seltzr
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>>418792
No.418795
Seltzr
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>>418792
No.418796
Seltzr
Replies:>>418849
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>>418792
No.418797
Anonymous
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>>418790
Audrey, she's Audrey Page.

So we're probably just going to have general GG discussion in this thread now since the other one is for archiving actual comics. Not like there's any lack of space on this board.

And another of Yoto's concept drawings for Bronze Buster.
No.418798
Seltzr
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>>418792
Sydney moodboard
No.418799
Anonymous
Oh Christ, 90s designs.
Don't forget to draw everyone with 1 billion teeth, and their legs always obscured.
No.418800
Anonymous
Replies:>>418806
Alright. Stuff still in the works:

Backstory options (nothing decided yet, each are different ideas)
-Genius charity worker who makes prosthetics, caught Audrey's eye because of altruism. Takes justice too far because she's mad at the system being broken
-Delinquent who boosts cars for cash. Golden Guardian apprehends her gang. Need a reason why she takes her on as a sidekick. Possible criminal parents.

Powers (each is a different option):
-Concealed cables. Like web shooter, but with metal wires. Uses them to grapple things to swing the objects around, not herself. Boots have spikes for anchoring her to the ground.
-Magnetism. Can grab metal objects with magnetic gloves and fling them around. Has magnetic boots and can walk up metal surfaces. Needs to be anchored with her boots to fling things around.

Silicon:
At some point or another she has an accident that leaves her near dead and a silicon symbiote or something other rebuilds her body. She goes a little mad after that and uses her newfound power to enforce her more brutal dark age justice.

Personality:
She genuinely looks up to her mentor, but feels inferior to her in every way. Both as a hero and in cup size. She has jealously and anger over her own lack of growth/power. She's loud and cocky when on her own, but quietly frustrated when around Golden Guardian. When she gets her silicon powers, she reshapes her body to look like Audrey's since she views her as the perfect hero and woman.
No.418801
Seltzr
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a bunch of anons back at /coc/ were saying the project would die if we start posting our shit here. What do you think?
No.418802
Anonymous
Replies:>>418804
>>418801
This board is explicitly for projects like this that need a more long lasting place for development. We'll be back on /co/ on Sunday with the next /coc/ thread along with whatever happens in this thread in the meantime. That way it still gets greater exposure for work shopping, but we don't risk triggering a shitposter with multiple threads in a row.

>>418794
>>418795
Still more of a fan of D or G costume wise.
Exposed collar bones with a jacket that can come off when she gets serious seems fitting.
No.418803
Anonymous
Replies:>>418805
>>418801
I think that one anon had a point. Any discussion we have here will end up kinda circle-jerky and if we do post in to /coc/ thread next week it'll just be us with a bunch of made up stuff that we made offsite when the whole concept was a creation by committee. I think the BEST course of action, since the thread is already up, is just slowly putting more work into some of these designs without doing too much about her as a Character, since only two of us were really drawing designs for her to begin with. No character stuff, just mess around with the art side of things.
No.418804
Seltzr
Replies:>>418805
>>418802
Whelp, the artists are still working on the designs.

I'll keep posting my art here for critique in preparation of Sunday.
No.418805
Anonymous
Replies:>>418807
>>418803
Well, I followed you guys here. But I do agree that it's going to be a much smaller opinion pool here unless other anons did the same.
But on the upside, it'll be less shitposting for a while. Part of the reason why /coc/ threads became weekly in the first place was to give everyone time to "recharge". Not sure if that logic is still sound, but we still have a thread every week.

>>418804
I'll give whatever feedback I can, then it can get torn apart when it gets sent back to the larger committee.
No.418806
Anonymous
Replies:>>418808
>>418800
If she has the delinquent origin, I could see her Silicon form having a caveat of needing to absorb/eat technology in order to survive. Like she needs a supply of raw metals to prevent herself from falling apart.
No.418807
Anonymous
Replies:>>418808
I dig the designs, the ones which aren't full 90s crazy. The sidekick chick looks great, but reminds me a bit too much of Gogo from big hero 6.

>>418801
>a bunch of anons back at /coc/ were saying the project would die if we start posting our shit here. What do you think?

They just say that because fewer people visit here, so you'd get less progress if you explicitly do any progress only here. But you can use this board to archive whatever content was already made, so they don't get lost. And if you make any progress, just post it back on 4chan prime.

>>418805
>Part of the reason why /coc/ threads became weekly in the first place was to give everyone time to "recharge". Not sure if that logic is still sound, but we still have a thread every week.

Nah, that was because /co/ barely makes new content anymore, so the /coc/ threads became emptier and emptier. There were times when they all went empty for months.
No.418808
Anonymous
>>418807
Oh no, I'm talking about back in 2013 when /coc/ threads were still blazing fast. It was decided around then to only have them on weekends to give everyone a chance to recharge because otherwise they were just made one after the other and everyone was getting burnt out with the non-stop threads.
Over time they became emptier. The one we had just now was the first one that hit bump limit in months, and probably the first one that hit bump limit in the span of a day in years.

That's the power of a new character and artists actually being around drawing stuff.

>>418806
Does that mean that she's also constantly losing mass as well?
No.418809
Seltzr
Replies:>>418873
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>>418792
No.418810
Seltzr
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>>418792
Earliest Sydney art
No.418811
Seltzr
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>>418792
No.418812
Anonymous
Replies:>>418813
Wait, so... this thread is exclusive for Golden Guardian and sidekick development? Or is Golden Girl still fair play here? What about villains, both new and old?
No.418813
Anonymous
Replies:>>418814
>>418812
It's made with the intent of developing the sidekick, but it's likely going to have other discussions as well from the other eras of the GGverse.

Golden Guardian and Bronze Buster are going to need things to fight against.

Do you have an idea in mind for one of the other eras?
No.418814
Anonymous
Replies:>>418815
>>418813
>Do you have an idea in mind for one of the other eras?
Not as much as the other eras, but I'm interested in how past villains are going to be adapted to the 90s.

I saw some anons talking about Iron Assailant in the 90s, but the discussion was very diluted (natural result, as the sidekick is a very cool idea and it used the whole thread).
But that made thought about what would happen with Jade Empress, The Racketeer, The Quiz Master, Rocker Billy (and others) in the 90s.
No.418815
Anonymous
>>418814
Jade Empress I have no idea. I assume she goes on to being a regular nemesis of Golden Guardian since she now has the bracers instead of Silver Queen. I don't know if it's even possible for her to be killed off.
The Racketeer would likely be too old by then to be an active villain, I think he'd either be dead or retired since he just couldn't keep up. (I had an idea for him in the last thread about Audrey pulling the plug on his mic mid monologue that might be worth hashing out into a script)
The Quiz Master actually reformed during the Bullion arc and is working at the TV station again after getting mental help.
Rocker Billy also reformed during the Bullion era after he got possessed by a demon who made him do things he regretted. I think he's an anti-hero during this part of the timeline or something not villainous anymore.

Iron Assailant after the soviet collapse should still be explored.
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I'm not gonna lie. Designing BB has been fun but I honestly feel like me and Seltzr are kinda at odds in terms of the design. A lot of push and pull. Like it's a character by committee so I accept that there's gonna be a bit of compromising to be done. I guess I just have slowly grown this attachment to how I've drawn her so I don't really know where we go from here.
No.418817
Anonymous
Replies:>>418819
>>418816
I still think she should have a copper colored leotard. But anyway...

What do you think the main point of contention is? The accessories on top of the base clothing? Or the base underclothes themselves?
No.418818
Anonymous
The color of oxidized copper might also be interesting for one of her costume colors now that I think about it.
>>418817
I'm probably overreacting but I definitely just feel like we have different approaches to character design and we're more or less each individually designing her character.
No.418820
Seltzr
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>>418816
I'm actually trying to meet you halfway now. What would you change?
No.418821
Seltzr
Replies:>>418822
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Here's my isolates. You can concept on it if you wish. I'm not going to force you to. Its at your leisure.
No.418822
Seltzr
Replies:>>418823
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>>418821
No.418823
Seltzr
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>>418822
>>418820
Sorry if I'm being kinda unreasonable. I know you worked hard on those outfit designs too and they're pretty good. I really like that belt I drew on her hips that's sorta sits diagonally on her hips. Kinda fits that 90s "I don't care" type style. Also I usually give her sunglasses, but I dunno I think some sorta glasses or goggle she'd wear when she's in like..."hero" mode would be cool? How do you feel about those things?
No.418825
Anonymous
If I may stick my nose, I think both Yoto and Seltzr are doing a terrific job, and all this discussion is all part of the creative process.
And if we are being honest, usually it was a single artist who usually drew the base concepts of new characters, and later other artists would threw their bone into it.
At least for me, this is a first seen two artists working together, at the same time, trying to fresh out a concept.

So, please keep going, you two rock.
No.418826
Seltzr
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I dunno. I guess I saw her a little darker.

I'd imagine she'd enjoy teasing thugs with knives.
>>418826
I honestly really like this picture
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>>>418820
I tried. I'm not too attached to the suit color or design and we can definitely work on it. What do you think about that logo I made for her? I definitely like it in theory but I feel like it could definitely look better. Also what're your thoughts on fishnets for leggings, or her uniform having slight shorts rather than leotard? Finally I really like the idea of giving her sunglasses and Think a borderline blackish brown is the best look (I was actually thinking pure black but I think a brownish hue looks good). If you have any opinions on what works and what doesn't please feel free to tell me and we can figure out what direction to go from here.
No.418830
Anonymous
Replies:>>418832
I get that the idea is for her chest to contrast GGs in size, but could you at least not make her completely flat?
No.418831
Anonymous
Replies:>>418832
>>418826
I think she'd get darker in attitude as time went on.
She certainly becomes that way when the silicon incident occurs. Like she goes from cocky smile to psycho smile as we get closer to her transformation.

>>418829
I really like this. The logo on her chest looks good with that color.
I'm not an artist, but would fishnets end up hard to draw if they showed up in multiple panels in the same comic?
>>418830
Yeah I imagine her being either a large A-cup or A B-cup. Not completely washboard but might as well be compared to GG
>>418831
>I'm not an artist, but would fishnets end up hard to draw if they showed up in multiple panels in the same comic?
Fishnets aren't really hard to draw. They're more just...tedious to draw. Not difficult, just time consuming.
No.418833
Anonymous
Neat to see people working on new concepts after all this time.
No.418834
Seltzr
Replies:>>418836
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>>418829
This is more of a Bronze Era 70s fashion
Especially with that earthy green color. 80s/90s (Retro Era) was all about loud colors. The only people who weren't wearing colors were goths; who wore strictly black. We can have darker colors to keep her gothy, but we'll need a couple of loud items somewhere; like purple gloves or something. I try to stay away from pure black and pure white in general when it comes to art. If people want to use solid black for an extremely dark brown, that's fine too.
We need more angular shapes in her costume. Horizontal divisions in the colors are not retro enough. Everything needs to look more shapely and dynamic.
The chest emblem is nice but most of the newer superheroes were dropping that in their design. Only legacy heroes kept their chest emblems; Batman, Superman, and now Golden Guardian. If the newer heroes had an emblem, it was a button or a medallion somewhere on themselves; like Rogue.
The jacket is pretty dated. Its very loose and flappy looking; like bell bottoms. A more fashionable 90s jacket would be tight fitting and angular.
And a lot of those items seem like they are off-the-shelf. She needs more special looking boots/gloves.

I like the fishnet and the shorts.

Also I believe she's a gadgeteer. We need her to look techier. One of the ideas was that her choker has an AI in it named Sylikon/Silicon which is what she eventually mergers with.

I also like the idea of her being a skater ninja too with a high tech hoverboard.
No.418835
Anonymous
If she does end up being not-powered from the start, where should she be keeping whatever gadgets she uses? Just in the belt or in the jacket?

There could be some cables hidden in the jacket that she can move around as if they were tentacles.
Just as much potential to skewer people with them as there is to wrap them up to incapacitate them.
Replies:>>418840
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>>418834
I get what you're saying with the sleeves and that's a good point. I always associated 90s fashion with baggy clothes but fitted jackets are actually a pretty big part of it too. I still like the idea of it being black especially since I'm going a bit Superboy with it >>418798. As well as sorta wanting her to be modeled after punk and eventually grunge which started creeping up. But to your point it depends on what she has underneath. If her jacket's black, her clothes have to be vibrant or vice versa. I only picked that Greenish color cuz it fit the "bronze" theme but I'm really not attached to it.
So my idea that I should've typed out before now is that she's been GG's sidekick for a few years and as time goes on her costume evolves from a more stereotypical superhero suit into what it is at the end, with so much fashion covering it that it barely resembles its former self (in the same way 90s superheroes practically wore casual clothes). Especially with more stylish but also more punk clothes just to show she's going in a different direction than GG might've expected. Having said that I do like the idea of her having a logo that mirrors GGs at first but as time goes on and she mods her costume it's like a Pin or maybe even nonexistent on her outfit. (Or maybe printed on the back of her jacket. That'd look kinda cool)
I like the high tech skateboard idea too but I feel like if we go that route we almost have no choice but to give her something akin to a backpack or else she'd have nowhere to keep it (unless it pops out of a capsule like dragonball or is just INCREDIBLY collapsible and can fit in a belt compartment.) It really does lend itself to the "hip young kid" aesthetic that a lot of 90s and 2000s characters tried going for.
Thoughts?
No.418837
Anonymous
Replies:>>418838
Oh, OH.

How about this? You said the BB logo would be the on the back of her jacket. What if the hover skateboard (that's a Back to the Future reference, right?) is attached to her back? It looks like her logo (the butterfly BB) when collapsed, almost like she has wings on her back when it's not in use.

Just throwing that out there.
Replies:>>418839
>>418837
That's actually super neat. I dunno how I'd draw that out but it'd be such a cool idea to keep that design in that way. It kinda reminds me of something I thought of a while back which is that BB gets...exponentially better at gadgets. Like at first it's simple things like magnets and smoke bombs but as time comes up she starts making increasingly phenominal things because GG's funding/pushing her to follow her dreams.
No.418839
Anonymous
Replies:>>418844
>>418838
Maybe the hover board is collapsible?
It can be shortened like a sliding door. She grabs the two Bs and pulls them to make the part that she stands on. So there's a B facing both directions when she's on it.

It'd just be drawn attached to the back of the jacket like how one would carry around any other sort of weapon on their backs.
No.418840
Seltzr
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>>418836
Well actually, I guess fitted angular stuff was really more for the adults in the 90s. It was actually pretty popular for the the kids to wear the looser stuff. hmm, I guess there was a lot of baggy wear, even before Grunge took hold in the later half of the 90s.

But I think the question is are we mirroring the fashion of irl 90s or are we mirroring the fashion in 90s comic books. Because if we are mirroring comics fashion, then we're actually mirroring the most outrageous fashion at the time. I don't believe anybody irl actually wore those big Jubilee shades. No, they got them from music videos and red carpets.

I was actually thinking of just cutting out the back of her jacket so she can carry a bo staff. And the staff also has a hidden blade for when BB gets more "feisty".

Honesty, maybe the capsule idea might be better for weaponry. And then she can pull sais and knives from under her jacket.

Also track suits were popular in that era. Something to consider.
No.418841
Seltzr
Replies:>>418842
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too Rogue?
No.418842
Anonymous
>>418841
She doesn't have a hair streak, so Rogue doesn't come immediately to mind.

What's going on with the glove and cable?
No.418843
Anonymous
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>>418842
>Rogue doesn't come immediately to mind.
Rogue did dress up like that in the 80s, she was rocking that punk rocker getup plus she had the fluffy hair. And she always wore some green dress, usually based on black all-body stocking (that ALWAYS got shredded during the fight, no matter what).
No.418844
Seltzr
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So first of all, I just want to throw this out.

I'm only working on the stuff that we agreed on (or nobody protested about) in the 4chan /coc/ board. I don't want to run into the problem of us sprinting ahead of the larger forum.

So I don't want people introducing new shit here. This thread is workshopping only. Save your new ideas for Sunday.

We can work out the technical aspects of BB and other characters here. So we can go ahead with skater/ninja/techie BB concept, but don't be introducing new characters and plot stuff here.

Its sad because I want to tell you about the new villain that I've been thinking about. GG/BB could immediately start fighting him without getting into the complexity of the BB arc. People want to start running with these characters, right? I think anons will like him, he's going to be very New.

>>418839
You know what, I just came up with a more elegant solution. She has hi-tech boots, right? She can just project an energy board. Easy.

>>418842
Hacking, but I just came up with a better idea.
Everybody knows that if you want to hack in the 90s you pull out a Game Gear. We can nix the stupid glove now.

Okay, I'm really feeling this design.

Also the Sylikon AI has to talk to her, right? I'm guessing Sylikon can feed her information through her shades I suppose.
No.418845
Anonymous
>>418844
Her torso looks too man-like in that base pic. Maybe shrink her ribs some and perhaps give her less wide shoulders. The jacket can stay the same size, since if it is a leather jacket, then it would far thicker than her skintight suit.
No.418846
Anonymous
>>418844
I wasn't planning on coming up with scripts for her yet since I know too many things about her are still in the early stages of development.

An energy board, huh? Then I think her boots need a more neon pink color or have neon highlights of some sort.

Hacking in the 90s was almost always portrayed by a polygon face that took cues from Tron. Binary stings didn't really become a popular representation in media until The Matrix came out, and even that wasn't binary.
If you want to really go all in, tie the AI back into BIGRAC, the old super computer that Silver Queen and Golden Girl used back in the 50s. That thing has probably been massively upgraded by then.
No.418847
Anonymous
>>418844
Now I'm thinking of a gag quirk of her Silicon form being that she lacks the dexterity to type out hacking, yet her spiky hand can just plug into terminals like Robocop's Spike.
No.418848
Anonymous
Replies:>>418849
>>418801
>>418816
>>418820
What exact physical features do you even differ on? Your BBs could easily be the same girl with different make-up, expression and haircut when I look at them.
No.418849
Seltzr
>>418848
as of now, not much.

when I was exploring these concepts
>>418794
>>418795
>>418796
it was a bit more different
No.418850
Anonymous
Replies:>>418851
Wait, if the hover board became an energy board generated by her boots, then that removes the idea of her having some gear she carries on her back in the shape of a BB.
No.418851
Seltzr
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Alright what do you think?
Yoto, where you at?

>>418850
I dunno about carrying stuff on her back. She wears a jacket. It makes things weird. She can just pull stuff from inside the jacket itself. BB emblem on the back is nice though.
No.418852
Anonymous
Replies:>>418854
>>418851
The jacket is a good stand in for not having a cape.
The jacket also makes for a good callback to how a Bullion design has her with a jacket for some reason.

The boots could use some sort of color highlights if they actually have tech built in.
I'm not sure about the purple color, it might be too dark in hue for 90s costumes, but I don't know enough about the comic hero aesthetics of that time since I was more into the DCAU during that decade than the comics.
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>>418851
Sorry I'm here! I really really love the jacket.The shades look good too. I think the one element that I'm not a huge fan of is the arm sleeves on the costume, cuz they really clash with the jacket. I get the desire to have them on the suit without the jacket though. Also I get what you're going for with the bronze color but it's a little to dark and brownish. I feel like even as bronse it should have a lighter shine just to pop more. (Also I apologize I'm not CRAZY about the purple color, though I also don't have another suggestion right now.) The boots look nice, I was picturing something a little bit more traditional but with a cyber punk aesthetic but these aren't bad.

Sorry for my abscence. Been working on other stuff
No.418854
Seltzr
Replies:>>418855
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>>418852
purple is generally a darker color. BB is a darker character. That was my logic, I guess.

Adding in tech lights could divert from the gothy aesthetic.

>>418853
well the purple was chosen because its a complementary color to GG's yellow. I wanted to go with a cooler color.

I see what you're saying about the bronze and gloves.
Replies:>>418858
>>418854
Something you gotta be mindful of is to never have too much brown in a design. It just makes the whole drawing look muddy and earthy. You gotta be really careful in general how you balance the colors on a character. Color theory isn't my specialty but balancing out a design's color scheme is no small task. I think it'd be smart for us to take some photos of super heroes and heroines from this era and see what they did in terms of color. Especially ones that used a bronze/golden aesthetic
No.418856
Anonymous
Replies:>>418858
>>418851
Looks pretty damn good. The boots look bulky though. I get they're tech, but still.

>>418853
Yeah, bare arms do work better with that jacket. Another option is to simply give that jacket long sleeves.
No.418857
Anonymous
Replies:>>418858
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What about long gloves and short sleeves?

And if the bronze color brings too much brown, then how about making the purple leotard the oxidized copper color (that loud green color) and have the collar and belts be a different color?

Darker characters in the 90s didn't necessarily wear darker colors. For example, Cable, the poster boy for 90s pouches, wore a lighter shade of blue a lot of the time.

Also, this is just funny to me when I went looking for more examples of the 90s superhero jacket.
No.418858
Seltzr
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dirty edit

>>418855
how's teal?

>>418856
I can simplify the boots a bit so that the tech portion is isolated to the feet.

>>418856
>>418857
I was jumping off of Yoto's black jacket design. I just wanted the jacket to be sportier and show off her slim arms. So the reader can see how weak she clearly is compared to GG and others. And it looks nice.
No.418859
Anonymous
>>418858
I like this. I might be the only one though.
It might look even more "earthy" like this, but I don't think that's a bad thing since she's supposed to be grungy. So kind of dirty in her tactics I assume.
Earthy, dirty, grunge... it all sort of runs along the same tracks in my mind.
>>418858
I think teal is a good color choice yeah! Works well and gives off the bronze vibe very well since aged copper (the main component of bronze) starts to oxidize into green. Definitely the more vibrant colors read better!
No.418861
Anonymous
>>418858
The thing with those boots is that you can't make them look fashionable without a complete re-design. So if you think that's unreasonable, you should either keep them full bulky tech as-is or have them be something she changes into. This half and half just makes them look less like cool tech while still keeping them unfashionable.

My perfect option would be a pair of fashionable boots that transform into your original design, but that half and half thing is just "no".
No.418862
Anonymous
Replies:>>418863
>>418858
The teal is great, but those bronze outlines have too much wonder woman vibe.
I dislike the mascara, but that's just my opinion.
No.418863
Anonymous
>>418862
I always thought of Wonder Woman has having more gold or silver flair with her accents.
About how much vibe can be used in a design before it's too much?
No.418864
Anonymous
>>418863
It's not the colour scheme that reminds me of WW, it's that the edge of her top has a thick line accentuating her breast line - Wonder Woman has the exact same feature on her costume.
No.418865
Anonymous
>>418864
I don't dislike that, but I do see your issue since Silver Queen's design already takes a lot from Wonder Woman and it can be argued it's not in-line with the 90s look BB is meant to have.

At the same time, I don't think she should be in a bikini top like Wonder Woman was in during that decade. The shoulder-less leotard is good I think.

So what do you think should be topping off that piece of clothing?
>>418863
>>418864
I get what you're saying. I felt like giving her copper accents would be better than making the whole outfit copper colored. I feel like our options are somewhat limited since we decided early on she has a bronze collar meaning most outfits she wears would have to leave her neck bare. Most superhero outfits , being one piece's suits that cover the neck.
>>418798
Of the characters here Dazzler has the choker and jacket but she's not really even wearing a super suit, just a low cut top because that's all you needed in the 90s to be a super hero. I guess the hardest part is figureing out if we wanna go full 90s "The character doesn't wear a superhero costume at all" or do the "Mix of fashion and costume" that a lot of other characters have.
Now this is just my own dumb thing I thought of with BB having a proper costume when she was younger that she slowly grew out of wearing. So I dunno maybe we can have our cake and eat it too by trying to think of what a proper costume would look like by itself that we use to figure out how her fashion would evolve. I mean I'd hate to lose the costume we've made so far I'm just thinking about the kinds of styles these types of characters went through.
No.418867
Anonymous
>>418866
What if you put the outer copper rim into the jacket edges, not the bikini top? You'd still get the color contrast that way.
No.418868
Anonymous
Replies:>>418869
>>418866
One silly idea I had is that the copper collar would have part of the costume under it, so it was keeping part of the costume attached to her body.

So far most of the ideas about BB stem from the time which she's the most at odds with GG, meaning her costume would already be that far along.
Would that be early 90s, mid 90s, or late 90s? Or does that not matter and it's just a big melting pot of everything that is the 90s?

For what it's worth, I do like the current build/direction of the costume.
Replies:>>418871
>>418868
Her basic Gimmick is "the rep for the 90s." But being honest I think her pre-transformed look should be early to mid-90s inspired while her Post-transformation form would be based more on mid to late 90s. Basically so her character eventually covers the entire 90s.
No.418870
Seltzr
save file
image:161861973854.jpg(874kB , 1885x1128 , lineup.jpg)
Honestly, I feel like purple was the better color.
No.418871
Anonymous
Replies:>>418872
>>418869
A lot of the early 90s aesthetics are still very similar to the late 80s from what I can tell.
The "trashiness" of the 90s wasn't in full display until, I want to say, 1994. That's when the bad girl hooker costume trends started becoming more and more popular. I think. I have to stress that's what I think, I'm probably wrong on this time frame.

So I think the current design for BB is actually on-track for early 90s since the jacket look really was early 90s.

Sylikon's look though, that's probably going to end up being the trashiest of trashy bad girl inspired with Venom on top, but I guess that's a conversation for later.
No.418872
Anonymous
Replies:>>418873
>>418870
I am biased to green colours. The fuchsia may look more in line with the 90s trends.

>>418871
The slapper suits became a trend once they started Liefeld and his ilk on comics, which was earlier than 1994. You already had some characters dressed as such, for example Psylocke's new design in 1991. But you are probably right in that by 1994 EVERYONE used that trend.
No.418873
Anonymous
>>418870
I like the oxidized green color, but I'm not super attached to it. I'm just glad it got tried at all.
90s colors tended to be pretty loud before darkness set in I think, so purple still works.

I think she needs to look loud in terms of color.
But if we're only discussing color now, does that mean the rest of her design is pretty much set?
What still needs to happen with the jacket and the boots?

>>418872
I bet Audrey hated that. >>418809 Is something that will probably get fleshed out more once the design is further along and we're back on /co/ on Sunday.
No.418874
Seltzr
Replies:>>418875
save file
image:161868033929.jpg(158kB , 1678x1248 , silo.jpg)
I may just end up making a poll for either teal or purple on Sunday.

So I've been taking a look at the silhouettes and I feel like I need to shorten her boots to sneaks so she looks more agile. Being weak is one thing, but being slow and weak is another. She'll look a bit more like Tracer, but that's fine because Tracer isn't going to show up.

Also, she can use a hip pouch. Maybe a bit smaller than what I drew, but you know what I mean.
Replies:>>418876
>>418874
Are you gonna include all the colors you did in that poll or just the teal and purple?
No.418876
Seltzr
Replies:>>418880
save file
image:161868440654.jpg(147kB , 883x1179 , dasasdeasd.jpg)
>>418875
I only really feel teal and purple.

>teal - oxidation color, cool contrast to GG
>purple - complements GG's gold color perfectly. Exotic like BB.
>blue - isn't too bad I guess. Its a placid color though.
>pink - is exotic but may be too feminine for BB
>red - too close in temperature to GG. BB is fiery though.
>orange/yellow - too close to GG
>black/white/grey/brown - too boring

experimenting with stockings
No.418877
Seltzr
save file
image:161868557949.jpg(203kB , 1279x1176 , fgghfkh.jpg)
I don't want to make her too complex. I want her to be accessible for other artists and not constantly a pain to draw for myself.

With that said, I kinda like this.
No.418878
Anonymous
Replies:>>418879
>>418877
Knee pads to fit with the totally radical hover board?

Also, just be prepared for the possibility of the poll being hijacked and spammed. That always happens whenever a character gains traction and a poll happens.
No.418879
Seltzr
>>418878
I'll to be the final judge and I'll listen to the arguments as well.

Anyways its only going to be options that already satisfy me.
Replies:>>418881
>>418876
Well don't forget, late 80s, early 90s Hot pink was EVERYWHERE. It wasn't just the girl color. It was the "hip young person" color.
>>418877
I actually really love the stockings/Kneepad combo. Honestly the more things you add the more it feels like the super suit is the element of her design that's the hardest to reconcile. Sorry I haven't drawn much lately to help but I legitimately am having trouble thinking of what to do with it.
No.418881
Seltzr
Replies:>>418882
save file
image:161868876735.jpg(94kB , 634x1095 , rtrerte.jpg)
>>418880
If its pink it has to be the hottest neon pink ever. And it has to be accompanied with another neon color. We could replace the bronze color, but do you really want to do that?

Anyways bronze and neon pink? I dunno.

Really, its the bronze that limits my options. I'd have a larger range of colors to choose from without it.
No.418882
Anonymous
>>418881
I think the bronze is what should be the foundation it's all built upon.
That is sort of her theme in the succession line she's in after all.

It's also an option to change the collar and other bronze colored pieces to that oxidized teal color.
No.418883
Seltzr
Replies:>>418884
save file
image:161869983287.jpg(487kB , 1775x2532 , sdasdasadssda.jpg)
Here's a different value scheme. Teal and purple.

black jacket style is on the left for comparison.
No.418884
Anonymous
>>418883
Making the jacket colored with the under color being black actually works since GG's outfit does the same thing.

This will be an interesting poll tomorrow.
No.418887
Anonymous
save file
image:161902041058.jpg(473kB , 991x1239 , 1618970449967.jpg)
Well that was a productive thread. This seems to be the final design based on it.
No.418888
Anonymous
save file
image:161902047562.png(473kB , 1153x1015 , 1618984057683.png)
Possible backstory for Sydney:

She has neglectful parents, like "Matilda" tier neglectful parents.
She gets by on her own by doing odd jobs fixing things, which she learned to do on her own. Things like cars for the older siblings of schoolmates or something.

It becomes a "Don't tell mom the baby sitter's dead" type of situation. She's good at fixing things, but can't keep or get a job doing that because she's too young. She finds a flyer for the position of system admin at Sterling Steelworks, which is entering the digital age (really early digital age) and through lies, luck, and being a fast learner, manages to score the position.
Now she has income, but has to fake a number of things about herself to get and keep that income. Audrey is also looking into the process of bringing Sterling Steelworks into the future and notices some of the inconsistencies in the payroll and employee listing. Maybe some exemplary employee didn't show up to accept an award.
Anyway, she looks into it as Golden Guardian, suspecting foul play or espionage, and finds young Sydney running the show.

Sydney being in the position of system admin tasked with digitizing records puts her in the perfect position to find the monetary link between Sterling Steelworks and Golden Guardian.
She literally just followed the money to uncover Audrey's identity, which also serves to highlight the changing times.

So she might've even been expecting GG to show up.

Sydney got caught because she double dipped. She had her fake employee system admin ID, but then also made up another position as intern/assistant for her actual self so she could keep anyone from finding out by being present and not suspicious.
No.418889
Anonymous
Replies:>>418893
save file
image:161902064372.jpg(3MB , 3062x2304 , 1618758145257.jpg)
New villain for the era: 'The New'

'The New' is a rampant criminal infomarketer android, who's supported by a cabal of rogue corporate promotional agencies. The New's main objective is to commit high-profile crimes in order to gain maximum promotional exposure.

The New's Attributes:
>stronger and more durable than the competition.
>perfectly lit.
>flawless segues.
>always upbeat.
>always knows where the camera is.
>indoor voice is as quiet as a bullhorn with amazing vocal range.
>can instantly change the color and pattern of his suit at will.
>can produce any useful product; on the condition that it's given its promotional attention.
>can spawn any article of clothing/outfit depending on the product. (ex. western theme = cowboy hat + lasso)
>can emit music, sounds, and short jingles.
>can project text/logos and images around him.
>can make any door (hinged or not) slide up or down with accompanying glowing fog.
>can easily break through walls for EXTREME marketing entrances.
>refers to others as 'customer', 'consumer', 'the competition', etc...
>if successful, can dazzle observers with his products. Dazzled victims will shill alongside him.
>often uses phrases like “Feel the Rush!”, “Catch the Wave!”, “Refreshingly Original”, and so forth.
>Can shill in any language.

The only way to defeat him is to shill a competing product better than him.
No.418890
Anonymous
An outline for a 'The New' story taken from the thread, slightly edited based on comments in the thread:

>cops have a bank surrounded
>The New explodes out of the front of a bank in a big dramatic entrance
>the explosion takes out/knocks down the cops
>news cameras are on him, he proceeds to shill his products
>onlookers become dazzled
>GG/BB arrive to the scene
>Some character interaction
>fight begins
>GG/BB end up getting surrounded by dazzled bystanders
>The New prepares for a finishing blow
>"But first!... Let me enjoy the the Wild Fruity Taste of the New [Soft Drink]!", says The New.
>"I think the lady would like something a little more classic!" says a dark figure from up on high
>He's dressed in all black and wearing a facemask, but we can see that he's sporting a pompadour.
>Tosses a bottle which GG catches
>Proceeds to open the bottle
>soda fizz spraying recklessly
>seductively drinks the sweating bottle
>her hair blowing through the breeze
>Turns to the camera and says, "I prefer the crisp clean taste of [Soft Drink] Classic."
>The New is stunned
>BB comes in with the hacking
>!ERROR!
>GG punches his ass to the stratosphere
No.418891
Anonymous
Another plot outline with 'The New' taken from the thread:

>average citizen in Platinum City
>thinking about getting a sandwich, when suddenly, The New appears
>he's holding a toaster
>he starts pitching to me about how great it is
>"Try the brand new Toaster Deluxe Ultimate™, a technological modern marvel that no kitchen should be without! Making the perfect sandwich will no longer be a problem, as it toasts a variety of -"
>"Stop right there, The New! Let that citizen make his own choices about the products he purchases!"
>The Golden Guardian appears with a shorter brown girl by her side.
>"Ah, Golden Guardian! Say, are you interested in sandwiches? I've got a perfect-"
>"The only sandwich I'm interested in is the one I'll be giving you!"
>"Oh, you're selling a sandwich, too? Better than mine? What's it called? What's the main ingredient?
>"The main ingredient... is my knuckles!"
>Golden Guardian cracks her knuckles and makes a fist, and her partner(I think she's the Bronze Buster?) tenses up as well.
>The New opens his mouth to speak, but stops short and turns to me
>shoves the toaster into my arms and hands me a business card.
>"I highly value you as a loyal consumer, and I hope you'll enjoy this quality product. Don't forget to tell all your friends!
>He runs away, with the Golden Guardian and Bronze Buster in hot pursuit.
>look at the toaster
>seems alright, nothing too special
>flip it over
>it's made in China
>mfw
No.418892
Anonymous
And another GG/BB plot idea from the thread, just so we have all the big talking points here:

A new game is coming out called BAMF. The local Chancy Clown King Hotdog place (he has a whole theme park but I can't find the name of it) is running a promotional event to win a copy of he game early.
They have a new item on the menu: The Satan Supreme. A super spicy bratwurst named after a boss in the game. Anyone who buys and eats it gets an entry to a lotto to win a copy of the game early (limit three entries per customer per day).

The New provided the copy of the game, leading to the whole promotional event being suspect.
Someone wins it, they play it, the enemies come out of the game and begin terrorizing the city.

GG and BB get the call about pixelated monsters: a three headed monster up on goat devil legs. Each head does something different like shoots lasers, breaths acid, and the middle one has horns for a charging attack.
They find out the monster takes no damage no matter how hard they hit them.
GG stalls for time so BB can figure it out with her portable computer (think the book computer Penny had in Inspector Gadget).
She figures out the video game characters are only programmed to be defeated by certain weapons from the game. Tracking down the special copy, she pulls weapons out of the game like how the monster came out of the game.

Gives BB an excuse for a triple head shot.
She brings forth the weapon from the game used to kill the monster and blows its head clean off while GG is fighting it, showering her in pixel gore.

How well does GG take it? Not well, but she understands it was the only method to kill the monsters.
She still chastises BB for double tapping it.

The whole thing was arranged by The New as a publicity stunt for the game to boost sales by involving the heroes.
No.418893
Anonymous
Replies:>>418894
>>418889
I like this guys design so fucking much.
The funky original pattern looks the best, reminds me of the backgrounds in Toejam & Earl.
No.418894
Anonymous
Replies:>>418897
save file
image:161903601477.jpg(545kB , 1600x1182 , tuff e nuff.jpg)
>>418893
He reminds me of the American box art for Tuff E Nuff.

Which is actually very fitting.
No.418895
Seltzr
save file
image:161905035907.jpg(171kB , 1178x1197 , BB-sheet.jpg)
update

>thinking of things to add to her arsenal
No.418896
Anonymous
>>418895
Hah, was the one who threw out the idea for shock prod nightsticks. Making them collapsible is a good idea.
No.418897
Anonymous
Replies:>>418898
>>418894
Who did that art? I remember that style but can't quite place it, I think I saw it in either 80s Superman (Man of Steel era) or in X-men...
No.418898
Anonymous
>>418895
The brass knuckles are a must.

So is the hoverboard set for coming out of her shoes?

>>418897
I have no idea.
No.418899
Anonymous
save file
image:161905540518.jpg(154kB , 1200x1622 , 1356900831923.jpg)
>>418895
>hacking device is a Game Gear
Don't forget the TV Adapter!
No.418900
Seltzr
Replies:>>418901
BB needs a logo. >>417832 Any suggestions?
No.418901
Anonymous
>>418900
'The Brilliant Bronze Buster' was the idea that caught on a little in the thread.

The B in buster should have some punches or indented fist marks.
No.418902
Seltzr
save file
image:161914851619.jpg(137kB , 1798x765 , logo.jpg)
No.418903
Anonymous
>>418902
Nice lookin logo
No.418904
Anonymous
Replies:>>418905
>>418902
Makes me imagine the logo is being presented like bullets hitting a wall.
No.418905
Anonymous
>>418904
Very body bags feel if it did that
No.418906
Anonymous
save file
image:161923323571.png(429kB , 963x926 , 1618766511999.png)
>>418792
No.418907
Anonymous
save file
image:161923330050.png(432kB , 943x945 , 1618772855557.png)
>>418792
Civvies.

I believe the idea suggested was Sydney actually does need glasses, but wears contacts when in costume.
No.418908
Anonymous
save file
image:161923350046.jpg(536kB , 1647x1263 , 1618783643557.jpg)
Sylikon is still a work in progress, but it's still good to have the current build in the thread.

It might be good to take some cues from the T-X Terminator design if she's too heavily Venom/Carnage influenced.
No.418909
Seltzr
Replies:>>418911
save file
image:161923882697.png(917kB , 7426x3156 , BB_Title.png)
I'm just organizing a character sheet for BB. This design
>>418895 is pretty much locked in.

>>418908
Yeah, I was thinking of leaning more into the liquidy design rather than the crystalized witchblade growths
No.418910
Anonymous
Does Guardian have any lingering body looks issues?

Wondering because I have a comic idea I'm working on of GG and BB on the side of the road while GG changes her bikes tire. BB just pestering her with questions while GG is flat out done with the subject.
No.418911
Anonymous
>>418909
Neat.
Makes me think of brass knuckles and the aftermath of being hit with them.

>>418910
I think she's fairly comfortable with her body by the time she's Golden Guardian. Everything finally fits into place.
But remembering her awkward teen years might still make her uncomfortable.
No.418912
Anonymous
>>418908
Looks like a McFarlane version of the Silver Banshee (DC Comics).
No.418913
Anonymous
>>418910
>Does Guardian have any lingering body looks issues?
Nah, she's very confident with herself by this point.
No.418914
Anonymous
save file
image:161929351499.jpg(328kB , 1651x2592 , 1618939467779.jpg)
Making sure we're not losing any art made along the way.
No.418915
Anonymous
save file
image:161929467590.png(305kB , 1000x1272 , 1618757281622.png)
At some point or another I imagine the idea of an elastic villain will be brought up again.
No.418916
Anonymous
save file
image:161961178522.png(824kB , 1708x1296 , 1619594476841.png)
>When you keep annoying your mum until she finally agrees to play computers with you
No.418917
Anonymous
save file
image:161966634415.png(1.5MB , 3265x2440 , 1619642416031.png)
Alternative Bronze Buster design.
No.418918
Anonymous
A lot of things happened in the most recent /co/ thread.
My main contribution was writing scripts for both Sarah and Audrey's first meeting and Audrey and Sydney's first meeting.
'The Sensational Silver Queen Presents: Heart of Gold' was received more warmly than 'The Glorious Golden Guardian Presents: (title pending, Bronze Star suggested)'

The bits of feedback I got for Bronze Buster's origin I've incorporated into a second draft. That mainly consisted of adding panel breaks to make it easier for others to gauge the pacing and adding in a few lines and uzis.
I'll likely tweak the second draft some more before the next thread, but I don't want to dedicate too much effort to it until I know whether or not anyone actually likes the idea I put forth.

I still don't know where and when to add in that 90s slang. Most of the suggestions feel too 80s, but I suppose it would be early 90s when they first meet.
No.418919
Anonymous
Replies:>>418923
>>418918
Bronze Star Rising is a fine title.
No.418920
Anonymous
Replies:>>418923
>>418918
They first meet in the late 80s, so its up to you whether to use 80s or 90s slang since it overlaps a lot.
https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/122259159/#q122260852
No.418921
Anonymous
>>418790
Trying to shoehorn in your speshuk donutsteel character and you can't even get Audrey's name right. SMH. Probably have ignored all the other stuff about her too.
No.418923
Anonymous
Replies:>>418924
>>418919
Alright.
What else is usually associated with bronze? Aside from bronze metals.
I want to see if I can worm anything through my mind for later possibilities.

>>418920
I can think of one spot to use something I actually remember from the 90s without it feeling forced.
No.418924
Anonymous
Replies:>>418925
>>418923
When people say bronze to me I tend to think of bronze sheriff stars like in the wild west, which is presumably what people are thinking in combining the common idiom "Rising Star" which is naturally applied to an up and coming young hero in the making with "Bronze" to get the origin comic title.

Its not as common in terms of sayings & metaphors as GOOOOOOOLD to be sure, since humans have always been obsessed with that which glitters so.
No.418925
Anonymous
>>418924
Huh, not sure if she would ever refer to herself as the new sheriff in town, but it does open up new avenues.

Anyway, here's the current draft I have of The Glorious Golden Guardian Presents: Bronze Star Rising
https://pastebin.com/nHX9uG5v
No.418926
Seltzr
Replies:>>418927
save file
image:161973997024.jpg(47kB , 700x351 , luke-skywalker-hand-1593184127.jpg)
Can't draw.

Cut myself badly on my finger joint. Every time I bend my finger it tears itself open. Sucks.
No.418927
Anonymous
>>418926
I wish you a speedy recovery and I hope you heal up properly.
No.418931
Anonymous
save file
image:162033025705.jpg(1.95MB , 3036x4048 , 1620054879540.jpg)
Azul drew BB.
He wanted to do a "bring it on" pose, but had trouble with the hand placement.

With how it's scribbled out, it looks like she's flipping someone off, which kind of fits her.
No.418932
Anonymous
save file
image:162033027854.jpg(71kB , 2354x2267 , 1620109426862.jpg)
And another one from Azul.
No.418933
Anonymous
Replies:>>418936
save file
image:162033060960.jpg(95kB , 1066x1131 , 1620275992139.jpg)
WIPs for some bad guys for GG and BB to fight.
A mother and son pair. Designs probably aren't final.

Prinprick - Design is inspired by 90s sleaze. She has the power to make spikes grow out of her body from anywhere. Possibly gets her powers from a drug made from alien piss, or these are just her normal powers. A mood swinger. Meant to be as over the top and ridiculous as possible with 90s sleaze.
Sidestep - The boy who can dodge anything. He inherited this power from his father who dodged raising him. He's just really good at dodging. If it's raining and he decides to dodge the rain drops, he's not getting wet. Likes to badmouth others so they take a swing at him, then dodges to watch his would be assailant stumble or get a face full of his mom's spikes.
No.418934
Anonymous
save file
image:162033087150.jpg(113kB , 1048x1131 , 1620258509563.jpg)
Sensei Dave.

>Audrey is driving Sydney somewhere telling her that if she's serious about being a caped crusader she at least needs to know how to defend herself, and not the dirty tactics way. Sydney is all excited thinking she's being taken to some super secret training place.
>Cut to her being dropped off in Sensei Dave's mall dojo with an annoyed frown as Audrey smiles and waves goodbye saying she'll pick her up later.
>Rub some salt in the wound that she's the oldest kid there to make her think it's a class for babies. The younger kids are actually better than her at the moves and that pisses her off enough to take Sensei Dave's training seriously, no matter how laid back he is.

Sydney ends up learning a great deal from him, even if she gets all the wrong meanings from what he's trying to teach her. He looks lame, he says lame things, but somehow he's a cool guy.
May or may not have had mystic kung-fu adventures in the 70s thanks to a magic surfboard carrying him across the ocean.
No.418935
Anonymous
And there was also a bunch of conversations about what sort of origin Sydney should have and everyone flip-flopping from one idea to the next.
I have no clue where any of that stands right now. It will probably have a stawpoll forced upon it so everyone can be disappointed with what gets chosen.

Also, I just feel like saving this idea.

Let's say BB has her ninja throwing stars taken away by GG
"No blades!"
So BB thinks and gets a whip. She Indiana Jones whips some criminals to tie them up. GG can't complain about that.
When GG turns her back and isn't looking, the criminals begin to struggle, so BB pushes a button on the whip to electrocute them.

Later on, they're fighting The New, who has shilled hard enough to get some dazzled zombies. He throws a punch at GG who has her back against the wall or otherwise does not look like she can dodge it. BB uses her whip to snare The New's arm. He'sun phased and starts pulling BB in like a fish, until she pushes the zap button and shorts him out just enough that he's now shilling a different product, undazzling the bystanders and giving GG time to punch him down or out or away or however they get rid of him.

So BB thinks GG is going to take her whip away and is holding it up reluctantly, but GG doesn't take it from her.
"You're responsible enough to have that."

BB now has something to be happy about.
No.418936
Anonymous
Replies:>>418937
>>418933
One of the starting pitches for Sidestep is he's a school classmate of Sydney and is the one who can't tell that he is Sidestep even though it is obvious to the audience and Audrey who thought Sydney already knew.
No.418937
Anonymous
>>418936
That is how I pitched it.
I was thinking about how Sydney would react when she finally realizes. In an EXTREME way? Or how quickly she would be made to realize.
I'm thinking it wouldn't be a status quo thing like with Billy, more like only an issue or two. Just long enough for her to make a friend only to find out he's a bad guy.
No.418938
Seltzr
Replies:>>418939
Looks like nobody was watching the /coc/ thread, oh well. Guess I'll post progress here.
No.418939
Anonymous
Replies:>>418940
>>418938
It happens. /co/ moves fast and there's not someone awake at every hour of the day to keep /coc/ threads up.
Anyway, the script featuring Pinprick and Sidestep. Sorting it didn't take as long as I thought.

The New Adventures of Golden Guardian & Bronze Buster: Highway Robbery
Draft 1:

https://pastebin.com/5DTdwedi

It's a first draft, there is currently no page pacing because I'm sure more things will need to be added in and lines will be changed.
No.418940
Seltzr
Replies:>>418941
>>418939
Oh, nice.
I'm going to have to take some time to look at this.
Should we talk about this stuff here? Some anon was angry at me for having discussions outside of /coc/.
No.418941
Anonymous
Replies:>>418942
>>418940
I personally do not distinguish between the weekly /coc/ threads and the /coc/ board.
Links to plus4chan /coc/ are posted in every single /coc/ thread and plus4chan is an open message board that has been around for over 10 years. The very board we are posting on right now was made for the exact purpose we find ourselves using it for: the discussion of /co/ projects.

Also, I was the anon who first came up with Pinprick and Sidestep (I didn't name them though), and I'm here now initiating this conversation.

So if you want to give me feedback about the script I'm writing now instead of waiting until Sunday, I'm here.
No.418942
Seltzr
>>418941
alright cool
No.418943
Seltzr
Replies:>>418944
>https://pastebin.com/5DTdwedi
Alright. I like it. So here's my suggestions.

They should have face covering helmets when they're riding the cycle. When GG/BB finally introduce themselves, then the helmets come off for a proper reveal.

This is GG/BB's first comic, so we need to get their relationship right. We need more infighting between them. They're pretty much the opposite of PP/SS.

Maybe GG catches BB throwing the stars.
>"I said no stars!"
>"It was just a couple!"

When PP/SS finally get away BB should instead say
>"Ahhhh... come on! Look they're getting away! You should have tore her head off when you had the chance!"

We can shorten the scenario where BB "defeats" SS and instead have it from SS's perspective
>SS is moving bags to the car
>SS notices that there's bags on the floor on the other side of the car
>shot of BB looking smug in the car with no loot in there

We need more witty dialogue.
>BB is running straight at the POV of the reader, now brandishing a tonfa.
>BB: “You won’t get away from me!”
She needs to say something wittier here or something that shows she's frustrated
>BB: "Come and get some tonfa fondue!"
I dunno

>SS: “Hah-hah, you can’t hit me.”
to
>SS: “Hah-hah! Having trouble? You're hitting nothing but air!”

>PP: “Can't touch this!”
to
>PP: "How do you like the new look?"

>GG has her hands on BB’s shoulders to clam her down
>GG: “Are you unharmed?”
>BB: “Somehow he’s able to dodge everything.”
BB needs to collect herself after getting motorboated by GG. Maybe she stutters a bit too.
>GG: “Are you alright?”
>BB: “Wow... y-you're really..."
>GG: "BB?"
>BB: "uhhhhh... I was trying to hit him but... he j-just dodges everything I throw at him.”

There's probably some more scenes/dialogue that needs a little more grooming.
No.418944
Anonymous
>>418943
When GG runs off panel when the bike stops, she leaves the helmet behind then.

"Can't touch this" was an attempt I made to inject 90s into it.

I don't disagree with any of those suggestions, I'll edit the draft tomorrow.
The dialogue is always a challenge. That's probably going to be an on-going struggle.
No.418945
Anonymous
Looking at it some more, the "like the new look" line doesn't work with the context since GG would've already seen PP all spiked up by then.