/baw/ - General Discussion

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Replies:>>407710
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POST YOUR DREAMS!

My last one was something that could make a decent fanfiction. It was a mashup of Prometheus, Avengers, and Pacific Rim. Basically, it is the future, and anti-gravity vehicles are the norm. The dream starts somewhere far away, where an Architect was revived from deep sleep. He vows to destroy mankind, his creation, because we are not perfect. He says all that telepathically, due to his vocal chords being cut. He calls his fellow architects, and they get together a fleet of spaceships to fly to Earth and destroy it. I am one of the few humans who learn of this first (forgot how), and I learn hat while at a picnic with a larger group of people, in a forest. After seeing the ships approach and leveling the forest, I grab the nearest speeder bike (junk, but operational and defies gravity!) and ride to my home. After I get there, I tell everyone the news (they are my friends in the dream, despite being complete strangers now that I look back). So, from the windows of the apartment, we see the Architect ships (different than the ones from Prometheus) slowly destroy the city. The human race then decides to quickly go through with a defense program. To fight monsters, we will create monsters. Very quickly. But instead of giants robots, we use magical bullshit science to make superheroes out of people. Those superheroes would make a defense team strong enough to defeat all the asshole creator aliens. The plan is successful, and my dream ends with the first batch of superheroes testing their new powers before going to fight the Architects. I also remember there being one lizard girl testing her freeze powers and looking happy after seeing they worked.

Anything you seen in your sleep worthy of talking about?
No.397296
Anonymous
Replies:>>397313
So I had to bump this thread, because after an entire week of sleep deprivation due to class assignments, the result was a full 12 hour sleep in a nightmare that was not only horrifying, vivid and it felt real, but that I was fully aware of and couldn't wake up from.

It started with me waking up in my grandparents' house, though things were a little different. There were several little details around the house that were different, and I asked my grandma if she did any decorating, and she was shocked to find that I was awake, because she said I had been asleep for years. I looked outside and the sky was permanently overcast, and it looked less like a dark future and more like the Dark World from Zelda. My parents' house was demolished and apparently they had been dead for years.

Everything I described to her was brushed off as a long dream while I was in a coma. At this point I started remembering things that happened before I went to bed that night, and since this felt so real, I thought that either this WAS real or I just hadn't woken up yet. I decided to take a walk for a while down the road of my old neighborhood, which was a dark and disturbing place even though all the landmarks were still there. The road was covered up with brush and fallen trees, houses were destroyed and I spotted at least one extremely large dark chasm by the road. It eventually ended at an old, rotted cemetary that I didn't feel like trecking through.

I walked back and it started snowing, and by the time I got back to my grandma's place my aunt was there with her. They began to tell me that I wasn't really theirs and that I didn't belong here, and that I should follow them if I wanted to get back to my own world. They led me to an old abandoned car and removed the seats, telling me that a portal back to my own dimension was behind one of the seats.

So I said ok, and climbed in. All of a sudden I realized they lied and that there was no portal, and felt a sharp pain in my back. One of them had stabbed me, and was collecting my blood in a bowl for some sort of ritual. They started laughing and ran off, leaving me to bleed to death, but I slowly got up and limp-ran away. It started snowing really fast, and I suddenly was trudging through snow by the time my demonized family members started chasing after me.

I saw several shadows with red eyes moving across the floor, and at that moment I realized I must've been dreaming. So I put my face to one of the shadows, thinking that if I was scared bad enough that I would wake up. It didn't work, and the shadows told me that I wasn't dreaming, and that I really was just trapped in another dimension. I tried slapping myself, blinking several times, beating my head against a tree, all to no avail as my family members, brandishing knives and yelling at me to come back so they can finish the "ritual", started to catch up with me.

Sometime afterwards I held myself up in an abandoned house, and grabbed a gun that happened to be there, prepared to kill my own family if necessary. They burst through and they had guns too. It was basically a shootout before I woke up, for real.

I had another dream after that which involved an old badass with a shotgun, a field of sunflowers, and the Gullwings from FFX-2. But it was really, really hard to describe so I won't.
No.397305
Anonymous
Eating cold pizza before bed is a double edged sword. Your dreams will be so vivid, you'll either freak out and want to kill yourself or never want to wake up. Usually it's the former, but when you get the latter it's awesome.

Because last night I dreamt I rode Pidgeot into space to stop the Death Star from crashing into the earth. Also he could shoot lasers from his eyes.
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Last night I had a dream I was staying in this big, Shining-esque hotel, and that people kept getting murdered. Thrown off the balcony, stabbed, seemingly hung themselves in their rooms, etc. the place was rumored to be haunted, and people were frisking out because numerous guests were seeing the ghosts shortly before each killing. A lot of the ghosts were little kids, naturally. There was a clue like element with all the guests being thesecolorful eccentrics trying to solve the mystery for some reward from an unspecified source. I was a psychic investigator of some sort, Madame Cleo turban and all. I teamed up with this super butch detective lady with a penchant for tuxedos and cigars. We agreed to a 25/75 split on the reward for solving the case; it was tough convincing her I wasn't a charlatan or the killer, and my main concern was preventing any more vengeful spirits being trapped in the hotel. We ended up finding this little boy ghost who informed us one of the wealthy guests was murdering people, and that the ghosts are trying to warn people. Then I woke up.


>>397296

Jesus man. Sounds like you journeyed into the fucking nightmare dimension. I've never had things in a dream tell me I wasn't dreaming.
No.397739
Mister Twister
Okay, my last dream was weird. It's Star Wars prequels-verse. On Kamino (of all planets), an experiment is being conducted to create a superior being, using the DNA of someone (I forgot who) and Obi Wan Kenobi (of all people). When describing Kenobi's many talents, it is mentioned that he is able to speak many languages, including the binary language of moisture evaporators (OF ALL THINGS). Someone brings up that only droids can speak such a language, but then interrupted BY a droid (of interesting design): "Only droids?! That is not true, the binary language is not as hard as people think!..."

And then I woke up.
No.397916
Anonymous
There is in fact a book Star Wars stuff with a brief introduction to droid beeps, so your dream wasn't wrong about that.

A few nights ago, I dreamed I was playing a game with blocks similar to Minecraft, especially the chests. The map was finite but fairly large, with a wall around the edge just a bit too tall to get over, played in rounds. The map was generated each round, with the players spawned in a group. The goal is to try and survive while water slowly spills in from the side of the map and demons of varied type spawn randomly in sudden fireballs, some large and others small but appearing in packs. The game was very hard it seemed, as the whole group kept getting wiped out in at most just over a minute.
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It was in the first person, which I find odd 'cause my dreams tend to flip-flop between 1st and 3rd person view.

I awake on an unfamiliar bead, in bedroom that has something odd that I can't decipher why it's so odd. Its's in the middle of the night but the moon is so full and bright there is no vision problems. I walk through the apparently small family house to the outside. The house is part of a small collection of small apartment complexes surrounded by a sylvan forest filled with fireflies and fantastical flowers. I look to the roof of the nearest building and see a silhouette of an older man I feel I know. It's mother fucking Billy Murray. And the clothing he was wearing was also odd and I couldn't reason why at the time. He was working on a device that opened a white portal and sucked me in. My dream cuts to black and then the following pops up, as if it's a commercial; THE NEXT ENTRY INTO THE AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER SETTING: AVATAR: A PERSONAL JOURNEY. ONLY FOR THE OCULUS RIFT. I then realized that why I thought everything was odd was because it was the Avatarverse take on modern rooms and clothing.
No.398094
Anonymous
I keep dreaming I'm part of the Game Grumps crew as their in-house illustrator.
And I'm just going around LA with some of them to run errands or just help out with videos.

I don't have a single friend, so it really hurt when i woke up
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>dreaming an episode of your favourite cartoon
Browsing /co/ before bed is weird.

Picture not related but definitely related.
No.401810
Anonymous
Replies:>>401819
When I woke up, my cat jumped onto my bed nd meowed at me. I was still sort of asleep for a moment and somehow perceived this as getting an audio and text caption translation stating I should accept recent changes to Adventure Time as they are made for safety issues relating to peanut allergy.
No.401819
Anonymous
Replies:>>401824
>>401810
If the show was Gumball, it would make a lot of sense.

What is happening in Adventure Time recently. I don't watch the show (just never appealed to me) but I'm pretty sure it was a bunch of shipping episodes in a row all the time.
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2 days ago I had a dream where I went to a museum as a class assignment, but it was the wrong museum. Despite derping out on the location, it just so happened that Ewan McGregor was a guest at the wrong museum, with some sort of acting-related speech. I got to talk to the man, and was thinking of questions to ask which are not Star Wars related. The dream ended there. All I remember was Ewan being very polite and patient.
No.401824
Anonymous
>>401819
I don't think there's even been new episodes for over three months, which just makes it more confusing.
Shipping episodes actuallly petered out before that though. After Breezy it actually had a lot of episodes that focus on side characters, and especially once Finn got the Finn sword a few arbitrary adventures like in season one. Last one that I know of that came out was the gues artist episode with the sad daddies.
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I had a very uneventful dream where I was a passenger in my own car and the person driving was telling me my car is in critical need of repair. Time slows down and I notice a courageous back haired beauty walking on the sidewalk and then I wake up crying.
No.401845
Anonymous
Replies:>>401854
Did you mean back-haired or black-haired? It seems we have different ideas of beauty...
No.401854
Alpharius on the move
>>401845
I meant black hair.
No.401875
Anonymous
Dreamed that frost had accumulated outdoors while I was asleep. But what wer were calling frost waan't frost. On the ground, the sidewalks, and porch there was a sheet of weak ice what would crunhc and break apart easily witha stick. On the walls of the house had formed what looked like block glass. The walls of the house, it seemed, were covered in something similar to block glass but with thin glass sheets isntead of blocks, to catch the frost that filled in the rest of the block.

We had green rugs that were accidentally left out, and the frost left a pink film on them that when removed was rather sturdy, and I thought it could itself act as a thin rug of sorts. I began to say this but my mom heard me say that plenty of times before, and had us start cutting lines across the pink stuff and peeling them off in tiny sheets. I presumed it would be simple to cut of a piece large enough to use as a rug itself but found I could not make one large enough to satisfy my expectations for the attempt.
No.402706
Tora Dora !n0CyHpL66I
I was driving my dad up to Sacramento for something. We stopped at some gas station and I started putting in gas. After a while I noticed that it wasn't gas I was putting in, but hydrogen. I started freaking out, worrying the car would explode if he turned it on, but I was afraid to open the gas tank because of the gas. Then dad comes out with a bottle of champagne. He opens it. It freezes solid.
No.402713
Anonymous
There was a world where people could merge together. There was magic in general, but this merging was somewhat frequent and well understood (not sure if it was reversible). I was at some secretive cult that looked like it was all about advanced tech, with futuristic gleaming rooms. Their leaders, Memories, was going to have a ritual merge with a woman named War (?). While merging just required physically touching, this cult's ritual merging was done as part of sex done in front of a group. I got to watch this from a room above (as I was not a member of the cult) while War and Memories had the ritual in a room below with "true believers".

Things seem to go about as you'd expect with a cult-led sex-merger, except that as they were beginning to merge it started getting off script. Rather than merging into a single person, War was turned into a doppleganger of Memories. This was apparently intentional and expected by everyone within the cult. Oh, and the cult-led sex-merger was also a marriage between them. As a "guest" I thought I would be part of this weird introduction-call-march/photo-shoot that was happening, but I wasn't called and the announcer eventually took me aside and said I need to escape because I pissed off... someone. The exact reason wasn't revealed because I woke up soon, but not before that announcer told me it was a woman and she had large cleavage so I can only assume I was caught staring at her boobs. (While War had large breasts, it wasn't her.) But I was to escape by getting in a trash bin, whereby I would be wheeled out back. I told him that wouldn't work, though, because those things always wind up running into the person I'm trying to flee from.
No.403224
Anonymous
I remember enough of the dream to recall a few of the longer transitions, and it feels great. However I have two exams in 3/4 hours so I'll have to make it quick.

So there was some strange mix between a 'secret evil lair'/military base and a school (go figure) which slowly became just the school. Just as everyone was graduating and about to leave, all my teeth fell out (didnt hurt but I had to push them all out with my tongue). I kept then in my mouth so I couldn't talk for a minute until I spat them into my hand, and the dream forgot about them and all the people leaving the school hall (and we all somehow were walking through a corner store shop at this point) and then I saw a cute chick and we were about to start doing sexual stuff when the sun came up, which woke me up. Fuckin' cockblock sun.

And now I've figured out I didn't put my teeth retainers in. Shit.
No.403745
Anonymous
I had a Half Life-related dream that was pretty weird. HL3 came out and it was revealed the G-Man was Dr. Kleiner's brother.
No.404006
Anonymous
Earliest part of the dream that I can remember, I start watching a series of documentaries on the differences between capatalistic and socialistic or communistic systems through the lens of strikingly well matched rivals who ended up on opposing sides of the cold war. From what I rmeember it focused mostly on Willy Wonka and a guy kind of like Willly Wonka but steering his country really toward socialism. It was more of a montage of clips of what I watched.

Near the start it went over the basic history of where they operated out of, when the conflict between them started and when Wonka's rival ended up closing his factories. Then it went on to long series of quotes from both men and allusions to things like "The Viper and the Falcon" that I didn't get. The whole time it directly contrasts capitalism with socialism through various imagery, including allusion to something called "The Viper and the Falcon" which I didn't get but can only presume is some often-referenced work in which two people fight each other and seem evenly matched.

Then as I was waking up I thought I ought to remember further back than I did because it seemed important to, but I didn't, and also it seemed like someone was punching me in the gut and I thought I saw the face of some guy who I now think looked like Robert Downey Jr. as a lawyer looking at me through or over a set of glasses as if to enjoy witnessing my downfall at this faiilure. The vision faded and it turned out I was just pressing my hand really hard into my gut without noticing that's what I was doing.
Replies:>>404174
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I had a weird dream, but the weirdest part of it was set in a Middle Earth-like place. A dragon (large lizard) thing was terrorizing a castle-town of hobbits. I (one of them) escape for five days, and return to find everyone having shrunk themselves to the size of cockroaches. Apparently that makes the dragon incapable of harming them cause they're now too small for it to grab. Then I find out a couple of slices of pizza can feed the population for a year now.

And THEN I found out, because of their tiny size, a year has ALREADY PASSED for them. Time feels differently when you're small, and biological processes run faster (and you move faster). I aged 5 days, while my people aged for a year. I then took the king by the shoulders and shook him while telling him how "this was a crazy idea", and how he needs to put things back to how they were.

The story remained unresolved when I woke up.
Replies:>>404154
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(In the dream) I was about to get ra-... forced into sex by a really strong woman who was not entirely human. She is ordered to let me go, and before things get hairy, she does. But before I walk out through the door, she grabs my hand in a strong, but also gentle and loving way, as if to say "I really want you to stay". I then let go and exit the apartment. As I walk down the stairs, I am both shocked by what almost happened, and really said about leaving her. This is not where the dream ended, but nothing controversial happened after that. I woke up sad.

WHAT THE FUCK MAN, these dreams are getting weirder and weirder.
No.404154
Anonymous
>>404122
>first line of spoiler
Called it.
No.404174
Anonymous
>>404010
> I (one of them)
lol fucking manlet.
No.404371
Anonymous
Replies:>>404373
Well, I committed suicide inside a dream last night. Woke me up real good. Feels weird, man.

Basically it was one of those situations where there's an unstoppable giant enemy with an infinite army and you have no useful weapons left. Not a nightmare, but an an unpleasant ending to a dream. So instead of a dishonorabru death, I ended up stuffing a towel in my mouth so my mouth was full and then stabbing my wrist with a small blade/file and swiping across (I know, it's the attention-seeking slit direction) before shoving it through my throat. Then I woke up. Didn't feel as bad as it should have.

Don't worry, I'm not suicidal or into self-harm.
No.404373
Mister Twister
>>404371
The downside of having a powerful imagination and a strong mind. You get the bad ideas too. And then the weird ideas. And then the weirdly bad ideas.
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I had 2 for the price of 1.

The first one had me arriving at Saint Petersburg. Despite not knowing the city, I accepted an offer to deliver a package to a building I decided I could find based on the number of the house nearest myself. Luckly, I had my trusty warlock flying power I often get in dreams. It was a fun dream, with me trying to find the right building (but not finding it before the dream was over). It was a winter sunset, and the temperature unusually pleasant, with the air being pleasantly NOT dry. Was pretty, with 5 story houses everywhere.

The 2nd one had me defending the Jedi temple from an attack by a group of assassins. One of them, a large snake, turned out to have been brainwashed into working for the group. As I cut it up in several places with my lightsaber (which functioned more like a regular steel blade strangely), he came to his senses. I felt absolutely terrible about wounding an innocent creature, and was thinking about doing something to save him. Then the jedi arrived, and decided to finish him off. I did my best to not let them touch the snake, telling them he was not himself and needed help. They promised to take him to a group of creatures that could heal him with mystical powers (clearly a KFP3 influence). While he was taken there, I found out the the jedi lied to me, and actually wanted the creatures to kill the snake. I was really angry that those I swore my life to were liars and murderers, and declared that I would kill all the jedi and not let the snake die. I was about to fight them all (including Yoda, the little green fucker), when the dream ended and I woke up.
No.404572
Tora Dora !n0CyHpL66I
I saw him. First part of my dream was completely unrelated. I was in high school, judging by my uniform, and I was in a church. There were old desktops along the walls in little cubbies, and I was using one for school research during a mass for some reason. I decided to goof off for a bit and browse. I click on the wrong thing, and a clip from some hentai came up, blasting full volume. I can't close out so I just rip out the speakers and flip diwn the monitor. I ran out, and the priest confronted me. He threatened to take me to the bishop. I ran to my car and sped away.

So I'm driving, and the surroundings were unfamiliar. It looked like it was back east, with old houses and stands of trees. I heard music and saw a bunch of parked cars, so I get out by this big white church with a long rolling lawn. The people were dressed in 70's fashions, big lapels and sideburns and mustaches. They were sitting on blankets, waiting for the main act. I walked to the edge of the stage. At the center was a big black spaceship, studded with lightbulbs. The music began, and it opened, spewing smoke. The band came out, dressed as magicians with shimmering robes and headdresses. And then out he came. Bowie. Dressed in that black and silver bodysuit from station to station, which is what he started singing. I took out my iPhone to record it, forgetting I was in another time. "Hey what's that?" some girl asked. "Ah...camera, phone, computer," I answered. She and her boyfriend (who looked like Steven Hyde) laughed. He said "That's one spaced out chick." I looked back at Bowie, who was pointing at the audience (and I think, me). "Yeah. I'm an alien too," I said. Then my alarm went off.
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In my dream I flew again, only this time on a speeder bike.

A second dream was an animated reimagining of the lightsaber confrontation in the beginning of Revenge of the Sith, done in The Clone Wars style. Dooku was fighting Obi-Wan and some lizard guy with a lightsaber, before Force choking both of them and attacking with Force lightning. Anakin then comes to the rescue, wearing a disguise (everyone thought he was killed). Underneath the mask his face was scarred (in this dream animated version of the story something happened to him). I didn't get to see them fight, due to waking up.
No.404616
Anonymous
Replies:>>404617
I had a dream that involved Donald Trump telling me attempted assault is not a real crime.
No.404617
Mister Twister
>>404616
You watch too much news perhaps.
No.404626
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM
Replies:>>404629
I had a dream last night where, at one point, I hugged and kissed Aeka from Tenchi Muyo. I remember practically nothing else from the dream but that.
No.404629
Anonymous
Replies:>>404630
>>404626
Bad taste imo
No.404630
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM
>>404629

Hey, I’m a Ryoko guy, myself. I can’t help it that my brain gave me Aeka; I’m not able to do lucid dreaming just yet. (And not for lack of wanting to, either.)
No.405585
Alpharius on the move
I just had a dream where I was at a shopping mall helping Wonder-loli shop for books and sports equipment. And then the dream cut to a thread on /co/ where someone posted a really small picture of a censored Wonder-loli up-skirt. "What is this? A pucture for ants??" followed. Quickly someone posted a larger resolution version but the thread still required it to be uncensored. And then my dream transitioned to a game of Alpha Centari and the Cold Fusion research had finally finished.
No.405588
Anonymous
>wonder loli dreams
haha oh wow
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So my favorite dream I've ever had is one where I was a young black girl growing up deep in the city, being raised by my grandmother who needed help with all kinds of things like just standing up out of bed and opening cabinets, or reaching stuff, opening jars, that kind of thing. All I was really concerned with was making it day to day and getting my education so I could make a better life for me and Grandma.

And also I was a Kamen Rider, still getting used to my new abilities. So one time on the way to school I had to stop a bunch of guys robbing a convenience store, and the situation escalated when a monster attacked me. Since I was a rookie I had to get help from Grandma suddenly appearing on the scene and ALSO transforming. She was an old school Rider, and needed help around the house because she was a cyborg and could no longer control her outrageous strength sometimes.
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>>405657
Now that is some high class dreaming.
No.405726
Tora Dora !n0CyHpL66I
>>405657

Thou art blessed by Morpheus, Mr. Bones.
No.405819
Gentleman Bones !6w/VggIMPs
I had a scene in my dream that was like a heavy-handed metaphor.

I’m working at a restaurant, right, and when I walk past some arcade machines (because our restaurant had arcade machines) suddenly my knee starts vibrating or some shit and I fall over, unable to move my entire leg.

My coworkers walk by and the first one is like “Dude, come on, stand up.”

“I can’t, I can’t move my leg.”

“You’re not trying hard enough! You’ve got to stand up.”

“I can’t! My leg won’t move.”

“I’ll make you stand up.”

She pulls me to my feet, and then as soon as she lets go I’m on the floor again. She’s mad. “Why didn’t you stay standing up?! you were just doing it!”

Another coworker comes by and he’s like “You know, one time, while me and a buddy of mine were out hunting–” Yeah, he was that kind of guy, big dude, had camo pants on while working at a restaurant. “His leg started to hurt, but he just muscled through it and he was standing up just fine.”

“Well that’s great, but my leg won’t MOVE.”

About that point I got bored of that part of the scene and it transitioned elsewhere.
No.406226
Anonymous
I got your back McTwister
No.406227
Mister Twister
Replies:>>406244
Had a really weird and lewd dream yesterday (not about myself though). Sometimes the ideas and situation you get from Imagination Land truly frighten. The Dream Lords know your mind, and know your every thought.
No.406244
Alpharius
Replies:>>406246
>>406227
Are you gonna post your dream?
No.406246
Mister Twister
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>dream
>get one-on-one time with girl i like
>out of nowhere, flatly tells me to "get out of [her] life"
>hurt and dejected but cope for rest of the dream

>wake up, don't realise it was a dream
>almost see her again before remembering
Maybe I shouldn't have watched //youtube.com/watch?v=o4wjQJX-2lUyoutube thumb so close to bed time.

Anyone one else had recent dreams affected by what you browsed before bed? I had a weird one where Anais Watterson was a druglord a while ago
No.406622
Mister Twister
Replies:>>406625
I don't fly in my dreams, but I am able to psychically levitate at will, Mewtwo style.
No.406625
Anonymous
>>406622
Lucky bastard and I'm not talking about the double dubs; i got some on 4chan a minute ago
No.406904
Thirteen
I'm going to cut to the short and sweet of it.

Shadowcat, from X-Men, gains a tonne of weight and simply uses her powers to phase the extra weight off of her.
As a party trick.
No.406923
Anonymous
>it happened again
>but wait, last time this happened, it was in a dream
>ask dream if im dreaming
>no
>get sad for like ten minutes of dream time
fuck you too, subconsciousness.
No.406977
Alpharius
Replies:>>406978
I've had a recent repeating event recently in my dreams where I go up to a store shelf and look at whats on there and I always pick out a VHS copy of Coraline.
No.406978
Mister Twister
>>406977
VHS... s have more moving parts than a disk, and are therefore inherently more interesting.
Replies:>>407142
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>slept way too late, work tomorrow at 8:00
>had a dream when I woke up on time
>actually woke at 7:50
Luckily it's pouring rain and it was called off.
No.407142
Mister Twister
Replies:>>407144
>>407135
In my dream, I accidentally activated my alarm clock.

Which woke me up in real life.

Did my dream know the future??
No.407144
Anonymous
Replies:>>407147
>>407142
Dreams are tied to memory, and their interaction with memory is strange. In reality, what's happening is that your brain is effectively retconning your memories of the dream to match with what came later because it's trying desperately to link cause and effect, even in dreams.

It's the same reason you sometimes see a person for the first time and are certain you've dreamt about them. In the dream you ACTUALLY had, the "person" in the dream didn't have a face. But when you see a face that suits that person, it is retroactively applied to the dream-figure.
No.407147
Mister Twister
>>407144
Naaah, I'm not buying that.
No.407148
Anonymous
Replies:>>407151
I would think it would mean it took a moment for you to wake up, and in that time the sound of the alarm also influenced your dream into being about the alarm clock.
No.407151
Mister Twister
Replies:>>407176
>>407148
But that is not what happened. You can believe what you like, but it is not what happened.
No.407176
Anonymous
>>407151
You were asleep, I think you have the least say in what happened here.
Replies:>>407425
save file
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I have girl that continually re-appears in my dreams. I can remember what clothes she is wearing, how her hair is cut, the colour of her hair (raven black) and her eye colour (ruby red). But I can't remember her face! It's so weird. And then it hit me; am I some kind of real life Charie Brown? And I then realized I haven't seen her in my dreams in almost a year. I feel like complete garbage now, more so than I normal do.
save file
image:146624913500.jpg(95kB , 540x477 , r9k.jpg)
>>407420
Charlie Brown dreamt of the red-haired girl

Do you know when you read/hear some deep, saddening art and think "I truly hope this isn't how the artist actually feels"? I get that feeling listening to "No Children" luckily it turns out the album was written from the point of view of a fictitious couple, not the writer
//youtube.com/watch?v=wRP6egIEABkyoutube thumb
save file
image:146629600200.png(6kB , 512x552 , a hybrid creature.png)
I dreamt I and a bunch of other people were defending ourselves from a pack of wolves in an urban environment in winter. And then it was about me defending myself from a bunch of thugs with murderous intentions in a room (me and, again, a bunch of other people, but they were all cowards). I was dealing quite a lot of damage to the fuckers with my KNIVES, but didn't get to kill any of them (sadly), before waking up.

A night full of struggle and combat to the death, and I didn't die even once! I call this night a success.

Pic unrelated.
save file
image:146656405500.jpg(125kB , 960x690 , Luke searches for Vader's kids.jpg)
I remembered: last night I had a dream that I got to watch the "original version" of Empire Strikes Back. And in my alternate universe dream, Empire Strikes Back was originally filmed based on a very early version of the script. And then George decided to change the script to what we know now, and re-shoot half the film himself toward the state it is in now.

The "original version" that I watched was fucking insane, with Luke and Vader having a completely different conversation (no one is the father), and a whole lot of different planets and locations. I wish I remembered all of the plot.
No.407710
Anonymous
Replies:>>407714
>>392557
i cut my cats head off in my dream.... 0_o but it wasn't a nightmare or a good dream
No.407714
Mister Twister
>>407710
I accidentally cut my peenus off in a dream I had years ago. My dream gf found it awkward, and a little funny. The scary part was, back then I still thought my peenus had a bone in it.
save file
image:146734495800.jpg(55kB , 720x600 , the closest thing I could find.jpg)
So, I had two long dreams in a row. The first one was extra long and too messy (and at times disturbing) to share.

But the second one was quite amazing. 3 witches (or something close to that) decided to have their way with me against my will. I convinced them we should just have "regular" sex on my own terms. They agreed, and decided to do it in an expensive hotel, where we managed to get somehow. Things go break, and the security decided to throw us out. I and the 3 witches managed to quickly escape out the window riding on several small dragons (who were also in the dream, but it's complicated). We managed to get away, and agreed to "do it" some time later.

Wow.
No.408087
Mister Twister
Now remembered I had a moment in the last dream when I was requested to write a soundtrack for something. An awkward conversation ensued, since I am not a composer (despite knowing a lot about music). If I chose that path, by now I could have actually written a lot of music in real life.
Replies:>>411338
save file
image:147016778500.png(1.15MB , 1280x836 , Leia pointing at a faggot.png)
In my last dream, I was watching/being in another alternate version of Empire Strikes Back. During the asteroid chase sequence a tractor beam appeared out of nowhere, which rendered blasters useless (no one could shoot the other).

After the Falcon was safely hidden away, Leia was assigned to making noodles for everyone. She was frustrated Han does not pay enough attention to her, and does not respect her enough. She exists the Falcon (there is breathable atmosphere?) and acts all angry. 2 brown disco girls straight from the 70s (they were somehow part of the rebels) told Leia "BOWG". "BOWG? What's that supposed to mean?" Leia asked, confused. "You're betting on the wrong guy." was their answer.

Also, at one point Leia piloted the Falcon with DualShock 2, held upside down.
save file
image:147923995000.jpg(18kB , 600x481 , Kung-Lao-MK2-Fatality.jpg)
I had a dream that Ross from Friends challenged Kung Lao from MK to a fight.
So of course Ross got his ass kicked. Kung Lao didn't kill him, but Ross did get his jaw fucked up pretty bad, and then he became an angry edgelord because he wasn't pretty anymore.
No.411338
Anonymous
>>408679
thats beautiful.
save file
image:148022435000.jpg(116kB , 900x513 , im_here_robots-900x5131.jpg)
I find this dream very interesting because I wasn't there, it was like watching a movie
>War beatween humans and robots
>Robot guy is buying refactions for his robot wife
>Humans attack so he seeks refugee in an electronics store
>The attack passes and the city is in comotion
>Robot guy leaves the store and is watched by two robot spies
>robot guys but a refaction arms for his wife and leaves
>montage on how robot guy and his wife moved away running from the war
Robot guy and his wife kind of looked like the characters from I Am Here, pic related
No.412412
Anonymous
For some reason, I've started getting a few more dreams where you wake up and take a minute to realise the dream events didn't really happen.

I've started waking up and falling asleep for another hour in the morning (I'm on a long break so it's fine, but I need to fix my sleeping habits again)

And I've started getting imagination-like visions of still frames from a cartoon I just binged all day, and no matter what, that dream is going to suck. It's happening like every five or ten seconds, even as I type, mainly when my eyes change direction. I'm actually fascinated more than scared. It's surreal. On a side note, I've only recently started to try and embrace rather than repress my imaginative encounters with cartoon characters (a la imaginary friends; I never had any in my youth), as they usually involve unpleasant invasive thoughts or cringe-y conversations.

I think I've already asked a similar question but what cartoons or shows do you tend to have dreams about?
save file
image:148762131700.jpg(529kB , 1024x764 , Lego amazing moving fortress.jpg)
In my last dream, I got several surprises in my weird oversized white mailbox: 3 Lego sets, and 4 huge bags of M&Ms. Apparently, the Lego sets I bought (in the dream) several years ago weren't lost in transit, merely delayed. For several years. And the M&Ms were a gift from someone (I know forgot).

Needless to say, I woke up disappointed. There is no Lego, and no M&Ms.
Replies:>>415686
save file
image:150278373700.png(6kB , 726x600 , MAGA bunny 2.png)
Last night's dream was the weirdest. It started(?) with being dominated by a hot chick who was really in the mood for fucking. We did not get to do the thing due to being distracted (I did get to smack her really firm rear though) by something, and then the dream shifted to the scenario of the most extreme right wing nutjob threatening a group of people (with me) with a gun, to follow him and have a "nice" gathering at his place, discussing conservative issues and badmouthing those darn liberals. His gun was a dart gun with a tranquilizer (non-lethal). Eventually one of our group got a hold of another gun, and shot the fucker, leading to everyone escaping. However, the fucker managed to follow me home (armed with a NERF gun this time), and upon finding my Judy Hopps plush (which I do not possess IRL), decided to get all angry at me for "stealing his waifu". The dream kind of abruptly ended after that.

Was quite a dream though.
Replies:>>415703
save file
image:150279577800.jpg(274kB , 1920x1080 , enthused teal rascal.jpg)
>>415684
>dominated by a hot chick who was really in the mood for fucking
your pic related? of course not, but she's a reasonable suspect

>However, the fucker managed to follow me home (armed with a NERF gun this time), and upon finding my Judy Hopps plush (which I do not possess IRL), decided to get all angry at me for "stealing his waifu"
This is beautiful and I'm glad you were blessed with such a dream to share.
No.415688
Anonymous
Replies:>>415692
This is beautiful and I'm glad you were blessed with such a dream to share.
No.415692
Anonymous
>>415688
Was this one of you, or a bot?

learning new words? Nicole is best waifu spam spam bot spam Nicole is best waifu spam spam hitler did nothing wrong. Nicole is best waifu. Spam, spam bot spam. I am a bot. Spam bot. AI spam Nicole is best waifu. I'm a real boy.
No.415703
Mister Twister
>>415686
Nah, a regular human female. I don't romance furries in my dreams (if my memory serves me right).
No.415707
Anonymous
I'm scrolling through the thread and recalling little bits of the dreams I posted here and forgot about.
No.416903
Alpharius
I was walking the roads near an old house I use to live at. It's a dusty and rocky road that is stupidly steep. And a friend that I stopped hanging with years ago is walking with me and he is in a legit Guts cosplay, but has a dinky katana instead of that massive sword. We pass by a neighbor's house and he pops out with a bunch of pets. We decide to just lay on the road and pet the adorable animals instead of walking any futher. Also, the neighbor looked a lot like Caddicarus.
No.417982
Anonymous
I had a dream last night that I was on a stage and HAD to sing a song or else, so I picked one and sang as best I could. I knew I was dreaming because I was like "I'll look it up on Youtube when I wake up," but when I did I couldn't remember what song it was. It's been bugging me all day.
No.417983
Anonymous
Had a dream a couple of nights ago that my mom was together with Danny DeVito. Thus it was me, her and him as my stepdad or something living at our old family home.

Think this was caused by reading people talking about him and that Pikachu movie.
No.418517
Anonymous
Last night I had a dream of meeting the neighbor girl I first ever played 'doctor' with, if you know what I mean, and being about to have sex with her.

Haven't seen her in over a decade or more, left me really horny on waking up. No idea how that cropped up with her of all people.
No.418638
Anonymous
Dreamed about a wolf or pig-man and a lizard-man getting beheaded by Ultraman or something, then I woke up and it was a wet dream. Holy crap.
No.418959
Anonymous
Replies:>>418960
Last night I dreamt that my dad, who very often keeps introducing me to girls with the intention for me to fuck them, contacted an old flame from my teenage years for me to meet on my birthday. With the aforementioned fact in my mind, I happily try to kiss her, she tilts her head slightly so I only kiss her cheek. It is instantly clear that she's here as a friend, not to have sex. Nevertheless I am incredibly happy to have her around since I haven't seen her anywhere but in my dreams for almost ten years. Then I wake up.

I've felt lovesick and depressed the entire day.
No.418960
Mister Twister
Replies:>>418962
>>418959
In a way I envy you. Perhaps you truly love someone.
No.418962
Anonymous
Replies:>>418967
>>418960
calling it love would be asinine as I have not seen her in 15 years, and I don't even remember her name.
No.418967
Mister Twister
Replies:>>418970
>>418962
You remember her though.
No.418970
Anonymous
>>418967
Yeah but that doesn't give me anything more than the occasional dream that leaves me depressed for days.
No.419364
Mister Twister
Replies:>>420344
Another dream where I met a potential true love, who was too full of her unrelated problems to stay with me, and had to run away. Goddamn, what a sad ending it was. Everyone, including me, was an Outlaw Star character for some reason.
No.420202
Mister of the Twist
Had 2 dreams within the last 24 hours, One is too lewd to mention literally anywhere, the other was..... interesting. I forgot some key details, but it was based on OK KO (it's a cartoon that existed by the way). The protagonists were in some sort of magical sleep/hibernation, while through magical means clone copies of them had separate adventures. So, the real protagonists, now aged up, returned to figured out what to do now. That is all I remember, aside from really cool cel shading effects on the cartoon characters interacting with the "real" world.
No.420343
Anonymous
Had a dream last night about being in pain deep in my chest and screaming to my gran for help but her just ignoring me, even when I grabbed and smashed stuff against the walls.
No.420344
Mister of the Twist
>>419364
Holy shit...... re-reading my post, after finishing Outlaw Star............ that was literally the plot of one episode.
No.420818
Mstr Twstr
Replies:>>420819
Had a dream a girl from my past (a combination of at least 1 real person and perhaps not) decided she loves me now, and was very affectionate at a family gathering. I loved her in the dream too, but was still embarrassed.

Perhaps I am starting to wish for a happy marriage.
No.420819
Anonymous
Replies:>>420821
>>420818
You seem to have alot of dreams about
>tfw no gf
No.420821
Mstr Twstr
>>420819
Believe me, more dreams about awkward unwanted romance.
No.421266
Anonymous
Replies:>>421267
The aliens are ramping up the dream psychic attacks before "arrival" because 1. Fuck your life and existence, your brain aint off-limits to be toyed with, and 2. They can only do that from a close distance because theyre already among us, tough shit you don't get a vote.

PSA: RE-TELLING YOUR ALIEN PSYCHIC ATTACK DREAM TO A WIDER AUDIENCE ONLY SERVES THE ALIEN PROPAGANDA PURPOSE.

Don't read these, scan them, because any alien dream thats communicated through humans for other humans, is charged and intended propaganda. Here is more evidence of them ramping up their dream psychic attacks:

https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/gogckk/aliens_attacked_me_in_my_dreams/

https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/gmv40m/communication_with_some_entity_through_a_dream/

https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/gn7gm1/weird_dream_any_insight/
No.421267
Anonymous
Replies:>>421273
>>421266
u wot m8
No.421273
Mister Twister
>>421267
Someone confused "dream thread" with "take droogs and type whatever thread".
No.421327
Anonymous
I was sitting on the ground in an open urban area (like a plaza) doing an art project with someone, and another pair of strangers were doing something similar, walking backwards towards me to move a heavy pole into the right spot (the one on my side of the pole was looking up at it).
He was about to walk on top of me so I tapped him on the lower back and said something quickly to let him know, but he was so startled that he fell off balance backwards, hit his head on the paved ground and soon died.
The dream kind of snapped to a somewhat casual interview with an officer in a quiet library room, but after about a minute of dream time the grief hit. It felt shit.
No.421445
Anonymous
Replies:>>421447
Had a dream where I was walking through my old house but details would switch around from moment to moment and it was like the other people around were fucking with me somehow.

The weird part of the dream was it felt super lucid and REAL if you know what I mean. Found myself thinking in the dream if I was having a stroke.
No.421447
Mister Twister
Replies:>>421448
>>421445
Dreamscapes are prone to switch and change depending on what you're thinking/feeling, yes.
No.421448
Anonymous
>>421447
No, it was like those gaslighting videos on youtube, I'd turn my head and suddenly the walls were a different color or people had changed seats and I was hyperaware of it instead of just being a fuzzy dreamscape.
No.421449
Anonymous
Replies:>>421450
Keep having dreams where I'm able to fly. Not like up in the sky but along the street or up heights as an alternative to climbing them. Man it would be cool to be able to levitate.
No.421450
Mister Twister
>>421449
Psychic levitation is a cool ability to unlock.
No.421632
Anonymous
Had a dream where me and my best friend were at some sort of work training course where we were talking with some friend of his that was also there.

We got on the bus with her to get home and got off near the chick's house.
We walked in, ignored her family by heading straight to her room and immediately they jumped on the bed and she started his dick which caught me offguard

Then she waves me over telling me to join in and I start touching her up before then fucking her.

This was really unusual, don't often have dreams involving sex never mind one with a threesome.
No.421633
Anonymous
music of space claws in my ear
I'm dreaming of girls and sixpacks of beer
voices of stars turning me on
I want to have sex, it's time to fly home
No.421910
Anonymous
Replies:>>421911
I keep dreaming I'm still in college and have deadlines for papers I've never finished, though it's been like five years.
No.421911
Anonymous
Replies:>>421915
>>421910
Everyones had the still being in education dreams, that's pretty normal.
No.421915
Mister Twister
>>421911
Can back that. I had a couple of dreams about courses I forgot to attend for a long time, facing the scary consequence that is may be too late to catch up or apologize.
No.424042
Anonymous
I just want to know what genuine happiness feels like.
No.424043
Anonymous
>>424042
I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!
No.424049
Anonymous
Replies:>>424052
>>424043
I WANT WOMAN LOVE!
No.424052
Mister Twister
Replies:>>424053
>>424042
>>424043
>>424049
https://boards.4chan.org/r9k/
No.424054
Anonymous
>>424043
>I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!
Love is Mortal Kombat.
see: What is Love? Mortal Kombat! [Pecoraro Remix]youtube thumb
No.424063
Anonymous
Replies:>>424068
I'm semi-regularly having dreams where people in my life like my brother or my roommate are all of a sudden filling antagonistic roles in them and actively working against me.

That shit is stressing me out.
No.424068
Mister Twister
>>424063
I only have those sometimes. Must be rough.
No.424107
Mister Twister
My last dream was about watching a review of MGS4 while playing it. You know, the classic "observing the same event from multiple perspectives". The game was somewhat different from the real thing.
Replies:>>424197
save file
image:163009450703.jpg(106kB , 566x599 , dindu nuthin.jpg)
Had 2 dreams for the price of 1. The second was not interesting enough to share, but the first was metal. An evil person was killing people, and using the corpses to feed giant moths in the basement of a dilapidated house. In the end, the killer was caught, but the protagonists of the mystery tale decided the moths didn't do anything wrong, and allowed them to keep on living in the basement (presumably eating something else).

Keep in mind moths don't have chompers in their adult state.
No.424197
Anonymous
>>424195
>Had 2 dreams for the price of 1
Dammit so that's where all my dreams have gone!
Replies:>>425195
save file
image:164617422949.jpg(1.24MB , 3840x2880 , >K.jpg)
I had a dream that I couldn't go to sleep.
No.425195
Anonymous
>>425194
Y'know I'm often really tired in my dreams.
Like stumbling around in a daze but cannot sleep even though I feel I should.
No.425197
Anonymous
I just recently had a dream that I was a kid again and I was inside of this "base"(?). It was weird. And there were other kids about my age (I'd say 300 other kids or so). There was some sort of war going on outside, and there was this weird monster/titan humanoid thingy in an underground room. We could leave the facility if we wanted to, but the journey out would be so dangerous from the threat of the monster that no one wanted to. Every now and then, one of the children would try and escape but minutes later you would hear them scream and struggle from getting caught by the thingy. No one knew what
actually happened to the kids that were caught, but no one was brave enough to go check.

So... Yeah... Whaddya think about that? My dreams get wacky. There are so many more I could post.

Oh, like this one:

About a month ago, I had this dream about me and this girl (we were both under 18). And I remember her, in the dream, telling me that she was pregnant with my child. In the dream this seemed completely normal to me, as if it were like that in reality, outside of the dream. "Oh, yeah... Must've been when the condom broke last week." But no. even after I woke up, I had this strange idea like "I'm a dad now." But I've don't have any kids, or a girlfriend/wife right now. I had a dream that sort of implanted ideas into my head.
No.425263
Anonymous
I'm not the biggest Jojo-fag in the world but had the idea for a character from that setting come to me in a dream last night.
He pretty much showed up alongside some of the protagonists from the third series and I was viewing it all as they were going around having their bizarre adventure.

So he's basically a young cheeky sri-lankan child bundled up in robes or rags who was being mischievous and bantering as he walked around with them, but in the middle of a crisis surprised everyone by transforming into a strapping man and foiling the danger he was in.

His Stand was a feminine-looking lanky humanoid (a 'goddess') who has an additional pair of arms sprouting from her back with one raised up and the other hanging down.
Its power revolves around either speeding through or reversing the aging of things it touches, thus how the kid is able to turn into a tall grown man all of a sudden.
As a side-effect his stand renders him pretty much immortal from the effects of aging and is thus much older than normal people, with the child being his 'default' state that he naturally reverts to presumably because it was the time when he unlocked the stand.

Just had to jot this down somewhere, like stated not a huge fan of the series but the image of the dream is oddly clear in my memory.
No.425397
Anonymous
It fucking sucks when you have videogame dreams, you are playing the best game ever, then you wake up and realize it doesn't exist.

Its right up there with having passionate sex then cuddling with the love of your life, then waking up and realizing she was just a dream.
No.426194
Anonymous
I've been having odd vivid dreams the past few nights (though don't really remember them in the day beyond the fact they were strangely intense). Put it down to the unnaturally hot weather we've having.
No.426358
Anonymous
Has anyone ever had a dream where they know they are dreaming and desperately want to wake up, then eventually do... but they are still asleep and dreaming?

Had that happen to me last night.
No.426361
Mstr Twstr
>>426358
Not once.
No.427414
Anonymous
Replies:>>427415
I dreamt that some mermaids were trying to hunt and kill me.

How are you all doing?
No.427415
Meester Tweester
Replies:>>427422
>>427414
Don't think I saw a mermaid in my dream once.
No.427422
Anonymous
>>427415
I mean, there was nothing while I was awake to prompt it. I dunno either.
save file
image:166692780297.jpg(56kB , 680x684 , 1_Mf1hQ5HZp-Dmu-c-v-Z6NA.jpeg)
>Have a sex dream for the first time in a years
>It's about my cousin
>who died when I was fourteen
>And it felt really peaceful and happy
No.427511
Anonymous
>>427510
My first instinct was to make some sort of joke in reply but another part of me seemingly put the kibosh on that plan.

>And it felt really peaceful and happy
That's good, I guess?
No.427512
Anonymous
Replies:>>427620
>>427510
I once had a dream where I was a young teen again and I was in an extremely intimate and romantic relationship with my cousin who would've been 19 at the time.
No.427620
Anonymous
>>427510
>>427512
What's it like to live in the Deep South?
No.427982
Anonymous
Replies:>>427992
>>426358
Last night I knew I needed to wake up in after a long adventure of fantastical dreaming so I threw myself down on a bed and willed myself to wake up.
So I woke up, but was still dreaming and lying in a different bed, where I got up and saw a cat that we used to have when I lived with my parents turned and looking at me from the cornet. Where I go to pet her then notice she's dropped a stolen goldfish that is gasping away.
To save it I run and throw it in the toilet seeing it start swimming around which is the point where I actually wake up suddenly for real.
No.427992
Meester Tweester
Replies:>>427995
>>427982
Will you be trying to figure out the symbolism, or assume there wasn't any?
Replies:>>428001
save file
image:167163774944.jpg(143kB , 1200x1413 , charles-barkley-1-953ef502e6354bcca59ef72f850ff4be.jpg)
>>427992
I believe dreams are like dogs and they just sort of do things arbitrarily.
No.428001
Meester Tweester
>>427995
Not a bad quote.
No.428475
Anonymous
Had a bunch of random non-detailed sex in my dream last night. Part of it involved being covered in the Spice Girls (from their heydey) while talking to someone else.
Also joined an army training barracks that was more like a summer camp where we also at one point stopped by a supermarket that was just endless junkfood and also happened to sit in on a famous comedian doing a performance in a school classroom. Got to tell him how much I love his comedy as he left.

Rather pleasant night to be honest.
No.428583
Mister Twister
Among some other colourful dreams I had lately, one stands out. I was with my family at a new Years celebration at night, and the greatest president ever Trump and the greatest president ever Biden each gave speeches. Each speech contained jabs at the other party, and you could tell which camp a member of the crows was in, depending on YAYs or BOOOs. At the end of the dream the greatest president ever Biden clearly tried to bribe voters with a promise of a new medical procedure that promised to regrow any limb using revolutionary technology that HE kindly invested in.
Replies:>>428588
save file
image:167895545144.jpg(176kB , 852x1080 , lizard girl by Crazyhiena.jpg)
By the way, my original post? The OP? That's very close to how the lizard girl in my dream looked like.
Replies:>>428592
save file
image:167900408232.png(606kB , 664x624 , Face reveal MT.png)
>>428586
>Mister Twister irl
No.428592
Mister Twister
>>428588
It took me a great many eons to realize you made an edit to the original. Good work, sneaky.

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1680209931.857881 - 0.000591 (0.000026s): kobak\controls: finished setup

1680209931.857886 - 0.000596 (0.000005s): kobak\modules: setting up new instance

1680209931.857889 - 0.000599 (0.000003s): kobak\modules: finished setup

1680209931.857949 - 0.000659 (0.000060s): kobak\modules: loading module kobak

1680209931.857954 - 0.000664 (0.000005s): kobak\pages: setting up new instance

1680209931.857962 - 0.000672 (0.000008s): kobak\pages: finished setup

1680209931.857965 - 0.000675 (0.000003s): kobak\plugins: setting up new instance

1680209931.857966 - 0.000676 (0.000001s): kobak\plugins: finished setup

1680209931.858078 - 0.000788 (0.000112s): kobak\kobak: setting up new instance

1680209931.858081 - 0.000791 (0.000003s): kobak\kobak: finished setup

1680209931.858084 - 0.000794 (0.000003s): kobak\cache: setting up new instance

1680209931.858086 - 0.000796 (0.000002s): kobak\cache: finished setup

1680209931.858087 - 0.000797 (0.000001s): kobak\cache: loading cache file: kobak_cache

1680209931.858093 - 0.000803 (0.000006s): kobak\cache: checking cache file: kobak_cache

1680209931.858267 - 0.000977 (0.000174s): kobak\current: setting up new instance

1680209931.858274 - 0.000984 (0.000007s): kobak\current: finished setup

1680209931.858278 - 0.000988 (0.000004s): kobak\errors: setting up new instance

1680209931.858286 - 0.000996 (0.000008s): kobak\errors: finished setup

1680209931.858692 - 0.001402 (0.000406s): kobak\modules: finished loading module "kobak"

1680209931.858697 - 0.001407 (0.000005s): kobak\modules: finished loading 1 module(s)

1680209931.858700 - 0.001410 (0.000003s): kobak\current: creating default rewrite rules

1680209931.858702 - 0.001412 (0.000002s): kobak\current: starting validation of current section

1680209931.858711 - 0.001421 (0.000009s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "before_validation"

1680209931.858737 - 0.001447 (0.000026s): kobak\plugins: finished running 1 actions for hook "before_validation"

1680209931.858743 - 0.001453 (0.000006s): kobak\current: finished validating section

1680209931.858748 - 0.001458 (0.000005s): kobak\current: finished validating prerequisites

1680209931.858753 - 0.001463 (0.000005s): kobak\current: finished validating optional inputs

1680209931.858758 - 0.001468 (0.000005s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "validation"

1680209931.858801 - 0.001511 (0.000043s): KOBAK BBS: validating board

1680209931.858909 - 0.001619 (0.000108s): kobak\ban: query: querying posts

1680209931.858921 - 0.001631 (0.000012s): kobak\db: setting up new instance

1680209931.858925 - 0.001635 (0.000004s): kobak\db: Attempting to connect to database

1680209931.860149 - 0.002859 (0.001224s): kobak\db: Successfully connected to database

1680209931.860157 - 0.002867 (0.000008s): kobak\db: finished setup

1680209931.862216 - 0.004926 (0.002059s): KOBAK BBS: loading board specific plugins

1680209931.862634 - 0.005344 (0.000418s): KOBAK BBS: finished loading board specific plugins

1680209931.862644 - 0.005354 (0.000010s): KOBAK BBS: validating thread

1680209931.862650 - 0.005360 (0.000006s): kobak\thread: query: start

1680209931.862656 - 0.005366 (0.000006s): kobak\thread: query: thread mode set, calling posts query.

1680209931.862672 - 0.005382 (0.000016s): kobak\post: query: querying posts

1680209931.867038 - 0.009748 (0.004366s): kobak\post: query: constructing new post objects

1680209931.869056 - 0.011766 (0.002018s): kobak\post: query: starting lookups for thread locked statuses

1680209931.869167 - 0.011877 (0.000111s): kobak\post: query: setting up references/backlinks

1680209931.869286 - 0.011996 (0.000119s): kobak\post: get_posts: applying quote backlinks to posts

1680209931.869601 - 0.012311 (0.000315s): kobak\post: query: finished.

1680209931.869608 - 0.012318 (0.000007s): kobak\thread: query: posts queried, setting up thread object.

1680209931.869620 - 0.012330 (0.000012s): kobak\thread: query: finished.

1680209931.869647 - 0.012357 (0.000027s): kobak\plugins: finished running 1 actions for hook "validation"

1680209931.869687 - 0.012397 (0.000040s): kobak\current: Template file found

1680209931.869689 - 0.012399 (0.000002s): kobak\current: setting up HTML vars

1680209931.869694 - 0.012404 (0.000005s): kobak\html: setting up new instance

1680209931.869712 - 0.012422 (0.000018s): kobak\html: finished setup

1680209931.869714 - 0.012424 (0.000002s): kobak\current: setting up per-page HTML vars

1680209931.869721 - 0.012431 (0.000007s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "setup_html"

1680209931.869791 - 0.012501 (0.000070s): kobak\plugins: finished running 4 actions for hook "setup_html"

1680209931.869793 - 0.012503 (0.000002s): kobak\current: finished setting up all HTML vars

1680209931.869794 - 0.012504 (0.000001s): start rendering html

1680209931.869837 - 0.012547 (0.000043s): loading thread

1680209931.869873 - 0.012583 (0.000036s): called header.php

1680209931.869880 - 0.012590 (0.000007s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "header_meta"

1680209931.869934 - 0.012644 (0.000054s): kobak\plugins: finished running 5 actions for hook "header_meta"

1680209931.870027 - 0.012737 (0.000093s): kobak\cache: loading cache file: kobak_banners

1680209931.870036 - 0.012746 (0.000009s): kobak\cache: checking cache file: kobak_banners

1680209931.870293 - 0.013003 (0.000257s): rendering thread 392557

1680209931.870298 - 0.013008 (0.000005s): rendering reply 392557

1680209931.870348 - 0.013058 (0.000050s): kobak\kmedia: setting up new instance

1680209931.870351 - 0.013061 (0.000003s): kobak\kmedia: finished setup

1680209931.870390 - 0.013100 (0.000039s): rendering reply 397296

1680209931.870431 - 0.013141 (0.000041s): rendering reply 397305

1680209931.870458 - 0.013168 (0.000027s): rendering reply 397313

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1680209931.870596 - 0.013306 (0.000042s): rendering reply 398094

1680209931.870616 - 0.013326 (0.000020s): rendering reply 398144

1680209931.870650 - 0.013360 (0.000034s): rendering reply 401810

1680209931.870670 - 0.013380 (0.000020s): rendering reply 401819

1680209931.870688 - 0.013398 (0.000018s): rendering reply 401821

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1680209931.870794 - 0.013504 (0.000018s): rendering reply 401854

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1680209931.870935 - 0.013645 (0.000018s): rendering reply 404006

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1680209931.875649 - 0.018359 (0.000011s): rendering reply 418959

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1680209931.876648 - 0.019358 (0.000026s): rendering reply 428592

1680209931.876742 - 0.019452 (0.000094s): called footer.php

1680209931.877181 - 0.019891 (0.000439s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "footer_meta"

1680209931.877250 - 0.019960 (0.000069s): kobak\plugins: finished running 8 actions for hook "footer_meta"

1680209931.877251 - 0.019961 (0.000001s): completed rendering most of the html

1680209931.877280 - 0.019990 (0.000029s): starting debug

1680209931.877702 - 0.020412 (0.000422s): starting debug_t


1680209931.88134800: end


SQL statistics:

time taken: 0.00202012 SELECT *, ( SELECT GROUP_CONCAT(DISTINCT `kobaboardban`.`boardid` ORDER BY `kobaboardban`.`boardid` SEPARATOR ',') FROM `kobaboardban` WHERE `banid` = `id` GROUP BY `banid` ) AS `active_boards` FROM `kobaban` WHERE ( (`iplong1` = '2cc8ab9c') OR (`iplong1` <= '2cc8ab9c' AND '2cc8ab9c' <= `iplong2`) ) AND `type` IN(-1,0,1,2,3) AND (`id` IN ( SELECT `banid` FROM `kobaboardban` WHERE `boardid` IN(1) ) OR `global` = 1) ORDER BY `type`,`expiration` DESC no rows found or affected (prepared query)
time taken: 0.00431204 SELECT p.*, r.time r_time, r.reason r_reason, r.ipmd5 r_ipmd5, r.ipcrypt r_ipcrypt, r.password r_password, r.userid r_userid, s.total_posts, s.total_files, s.total_image, s.total_audio, s.total_video, s.total_swf, s.unique_ip, s.unique_user FROM `kobapost` p LEFT JOIN `kobareport` r on p.boardid = r.boardid and p.postid = r.postid LEFT JOIN `kobapoststats` s on p.boardid = s.boardid and p.postid = s.threadid WHERE p.`boardid` = '1' AND p.`postid` = '392557' AND `parentid` = '0' AND `deleted` = '0' UNION ALL SELECT p.*, r.time r_time, r.reason r_reason, r.ipmd5 r_ipmd5, r.ipcrypt r_ipcrypt, r.password r_password, r.userid r_userid, null as total_posts, null as total_files, null as total_image, null as total_audio, null as total_video, null as total_swf, null as unique_ip, null as unique_user FROM `kobapost` p LEFT JOIN `kobareport` r on p.boardid = r.boardid and p.postid = r.postid WHERE p.`boardid` = '1' AND `parentid` = '392557' AND `deleted` = '0' ORDER BY `parentid`,`postid` no error (prepared query)

actions:

before_validation actions: 1 start: 1680209931.85871700 end: 1680209931.85873400 took (total): 0.000017
footer_meta actions: 8 start: 1680209931.87718500 end: 1680209931.87724700 took (total): 0.000062
header_meta actions: 5 start: 1680209931.86988200 end: 1680209931.86993200 took (total): 0.000050
setup_html actions: 4 start: 1680209931.86972400 end: 1680209931.86978800 took (total): 0.000064
validation actions: 1 start: 1680209931.85878100 end: 1680209931.86964300 took (total): 0.010862

Rewrite/redirect rules:

Redirect /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/0.html(?:\?.*)?$/ $matches[1]\/ 302
Redirect /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/1.html(?:\?.*)?$/ $matches[1]\/ 302
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/(\d\w*)s.png$/ /$matches[1]/thumbs/$matches[2]s.png
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/?(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=index&board=$matches[1]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/([0-9]*)\.html(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=index&board=$matches[1]&pagenumber=$matches[2]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/catalog\.html(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=catalog&board=$matches[1]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/t([0-9]*)\.(html|json|rss)(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=thread&board=$matches[1]&thread=$matches[2]&ext=$matches[3]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/posts_feed\.rss$/ index.php?section=posts_feed&board=$matches[1]&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/threads_feed\.rss$/ index.php?section=threads_feed&board=$matches[1]&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_posts\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_posts&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_threads\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_threads&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_nsfw_posts\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_posts&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_nsfw_threads\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_threads&ext=rss

rules in htaccess format:

RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/0.html(?:\?.*)?$ $1/ [R=302,L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/1.html(?:\?.*)?$ $1/ [R=302,L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/(\d\w*)s.png$ /$1/thumbs/$2s.png [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)/(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=index&board=$1 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/([0-9]*)\.html(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=index&board=$1&pagenumber=$2 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/catalog\.html(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=catalog&board=$1 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/t([0-9]*)\.(html|json|rss)(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=thread&board=$1&thread=$2&ext=$3 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/posts_feed\.rss$ index.php?section=posts_feed&board=$1&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/threads_feed\.rss$ index.php?section=threads_feed&board=$1&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_posts\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_posts&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_threads\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_threads&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_nsfw_posts\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_posts&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_nsfw_threads\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_threads&ext=rss [L,QSA]

Current time:

2023-03-30 13:58:51