/baw/ - General Discussion

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Your fortune: キタ━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━ !!!!

Sex thread, because the new boards are dead and this was one of my favorite longtime discussions on the old /baw/.

This is the thread for

>Sexual questions of any nature
>Sex toys
>Fetish discussion

Just don't be a dick, and use NSFW tags where necessary.
Venkman !kM/YMzVjpI
Isn't that what the fetish thread is for?
Your fortune: Average Luck


Could be, yeah. I was thinking that was geared more to discussing particular fetishes, whereas this one was for everything related to sex, not just kinks.

Whichever one works best, really.
So... am I the only person who gets a little upset that basically everyone thinks that being gay is no longer a big deal? Even ignoring that around 30% of world countries have it as a crime, many of which it is punishable by death, just remember that in most of the United States you still can't get married, and you can be fired merely for being gay yet have no legal recourse.

It's like they just see that a few celebrities have come out and everyone's been cool with it, and they forget completely that the average person doesn't have an entire security team to keep the "bullies" off of them.
Autonymoose !x4vv0ZYuAo
In many areas within the US it still is a big deal, but that continues to decrease. Gay people can still be bullied for other stuff, but if someone goes after them for being gay that's when the security team will pop up. And I have no problem with that (the security team, not the bullying.)
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

>In many areas within the US it still is a big deal

It's typically a bigger deal in "red states", but even that's changing - for instance, a group of religious leaders/churches have banded together to fight against North Carolina's Amendment One under the argument that banning same-sex marriage limits the religious freedoms of churches that want to ordain same-sex marriages.

The chief problem people seem to have with gay people these days lies in the idea of "the gay mafia" - you know, where the political side of the LGBT community jumps all over anything seen as remotely anti-gay (see that awful Boondocks series finalé episode for an exaggerated example).

Everyone outside of the politics seems fine with letting gay people go on about their business. They don't seem fixated on the idea of gay sex as much as the anti-gay forces (who seem to think about it even more than the pro-gay side).
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It's also not helpful when you LGBTQ militants polarizing people even further.
>when you LGBTQ militants
I meant
>when you have LGBTQ militants
last night I was having sex with my fiancee, and pulled out to cum.
I accidentally gave her a facial from way down between her legs.

while I did feel bad, I was also pretty proud.
I know this post is old, but given the speed of this site, I'm still going to ask no one to respond to this. Just don't do it. Not one post. It's transparent troll bait.

Well how does she feel about it? Because I'm chuckling over here.
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I honestly cannot remember the last time I was horny. Sure, I jerk off, but apart from morning boners I can't recall the last time I got an erection by watching/reading/fantasizing about/ something.

Maybe this belongs in the "you're old thread". Anyway, it makes me sad.
Any useful advice?
How old are you? Also are you on any kind of medicine (antidepressants or something) that may "kill" your sex drive?

I put kill in quotations there because anecdotally, I feel less like jacking off these days, but I still feel I have a pretty strong sex drive. Then again, I could be getting old, too.

I've found that the whole getting an instant boner whenever you so much as see or think of something sexual (as well as being in any state of "horny") is basically just a teenager/very-young-adult thing. So long as you're still physically able to become aroused, have an orgasm, and perform if with someone, there is nothing wrong. You're just in control of your body instead of it controlling you.

Personally, I find it's pretty nice not having to masturbate twice a day, every day, to keep the urge down.
I'm on lexapro, imipramine, LamicTal, risperdal, remeron and rivotril.

That's the problem. I don't become aroused, like, at all. It's just the manual stimulation which makes my boner semi hard.
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Not sure if this belongs here but

>conversation with coworker
>these are her exact words, I am not paraphrasing or anything, I swear

>"All men are misogynists by default"
>"We live in a fatphobic society, it's disgusting how skinny is the default image"
>"All porn is rape"
>"Porn teaches that women are objects"
>"I would never date a man if his dick was smaller than 8 inches"
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What a horrible human being.
Did she escaped from tumblr?
I used to think the whole fat tumblr feminist thing was an exaggeration. A joke. It couldn't possibly be this bad. But no, turns out it's true. What the dick man.
Autonywork !x4vv0ZYuAo
(I think he posted in the wrong thread.) I don't understand, can't you just find that stuff in any women's fashion catalog? I mean, they wouldn't be taking part in other sex acts, but for skin/clothing I would think that's not entirely necessary.
DudeWithMoney !SFwR6DnH/Y

That sure is a lot of second-wave feminism capped off with a very much NOT second-wave phallo-centric view of sex.
I checked the label on them. While SSRI's are notorious for libido loss, none of the medications I take plays a role in ED.
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THREAD CHALLENGE: Find roleplay porn with a good actor. Fetish is up to you.
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>porno with two twins, one dressed as an angel and one as a demon
>angel is encouraging masturbation while demon isn't
uhh, girls?
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I've adopted this as a fetish thread.

>artist does furry stuff as well
>see something about musk fetish
>think he means rose smell fetish for over a month
Apparently its an Australia/New Zealand thing, "musk sticks" are a flavoured candy that tastes like rose and sugar, and we don't have many deer and shit.
desc. on bottom right
Buddy. You can't go around talking about porn with twins and no go posting a link, now.
non-identical. They claim to be twins.

Brooke Marie and Vikki Lynn. If you're going to pick fake names, why not do Brooke Lynn.
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more adventures from porn guy

>browsing ass pov videos
>its a latino woman dissing black woman asses
>its actually kinda funny, not even /pol/ really

Did they forget to edit out the blooper reel at 0:25 ?
You know what, fuck it. This is officially my blog thread. Feel free to interrupt.

>find fucking qt girl
link: http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1466990406
>voice is familiar but can't put finger on it
>oh wait
>its the same as a really feminine guy from high school (amazing singing voice btw)
I don't know if I'll be able to get off to her now that I've realised this relation
>two officers more-or-less rape third lesbian character
>third character's actor switches every minute between enjoying/accepting and resisting
Mister Twister
That shit is why I respect AbbyWinters that much: 99.8% of the time it's just happy women enjoying sex for no reason, and no "plot".
I hear you. I admit though, I do find some of the plots bloody hilarious, almost satirical.

//youtube.com/watch?v=o3jR_9oW3Lkyoutube thumb
>3DPD videos
>find girl, she's alright
>pornhub says she has a pretty high rank
>porn comments (yeah, I know) say she's also known by another name
>look up other name
>ranked even higher
Impressive; she's two of the top 500
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>solo cam-like video by a Romanian woman
>when she attempts a seductive tone, she sounds like a stereotypical /co/ evil villain
Lana Ivans
>I'm gonna leek the tiep of uer cack. You liek eht?
Dunno how well versed the people here are in this stuff, but may as well ask and see if anyone does have thoughts.

My girlfriend doesn't like vibrators, dildos, fingering, or oral sex. Just dick. She does masturbate, but has never orgasmed. There are a lot of kinks that she enjoys, though some of them are ones that I can't really assist her with--not out of lack of willingness (I'm completely willing to do most things, even things that are a little weird for me), but because they just don't work coming from me. For example, she's a sub, and while I'm fully willing to play dom to her, she says it doesn't work because she knows my personality too well and knows that I'm too sweet and too easy to win over for her to really feel dominated by me, and just roleplaying domination feels inauthentic to her.

We're poly, so it's not like she can't find satisfaction in these areas elsewhere, but I still want to do as much as I can to be a good lover to her. What options do I really have available to me to improve my lovemaking here? I've got a really girthy dick, so she likes the feel of it, but my lack of length limits the viability of some positions, and the fact that we don't really engage in much foreplay (as going down on her or fingering her beforehand are things she tends not to enjoy) means I have to rely pretty much entirely on thrusting as my means of pleasuring her, and it's hard to keep that up for very long before I get tired and overheated.

Personally, I think that if I can get her to relax and leave things in my hands, I could probably make oral and digital stuff more fun for her, given enough practice. And she likes bondage, so tying her up and then going down on her / fingering her seems totally doable. But I don't want to, like, disrespect her by assuming I know more than she does about her own body. Any thoughts?
>Dunno how well versed the people here are in this stuff
Well, you lost me at "girlfriend"
1) have you tried talking to her about this?
2) I honestly doubt you'll find good advice here, possibly try /adv/ or an appropriate subreddit.
Consider the eternal "ask the opposite gender anything" thread on /adv/
No yeah, seriously. Joking aside, I really wish you the best and talking about it is always the best anwer. My only experience with sex was being a young guy getting coerced into it on my high school graduation day.
It wasn't pleasant and I've dreaded doing it again since.

So I'm like, not even supposed to be in this thread really. Shouldn't have taken a cheap shot at you, anon. Best of luck.
Why are there some bloody talented gay artists? I have a half mind to spend the summer turning my self gay through herm, futa and girly porn.
i want to stop critically analysing porn
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM
An interesting read on, of all things, the taxonomy of porn:

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Just become bi. You always win, because you play for both teams. And you are also invisible, because neither straits and gays will deny your existence. Win-win.
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

>you are also invisible, because neither straits and gays will deny your existence

Until Bisexual Visibility Week, in which case you should reschedule that bank robbery.
Is there any truth to the tale that watching loads of porn over the years damages your reaction to sexual stimulation?
Yes. Like, mountains of evidence really.
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>You always win, because you play for both teams.
More like everyone hates you and treats you worse than a whore. It's like being biracial, neither race accepts you. Also bi people are 85-90% of the LGBT community, we're carrying all the water, doing the hard work.
Yeah I read a book called 1984 that said this was possible.
Yeah it was about how you can't say "cunt" on tv. We really do live in an Orwellian dystopia.

Seriously? Get off your high horse. Any societal change in attitude isn't some doublethink any more than it was when we agreed "nigger" wasn't ok. Then again, this being a 4chan offshoot, you probably think anyone who doesn't like it is some prissy normie, online or irl.

and no, you don't get to call trans people "it" either, you judgement-affected douche.
he's almost certainly the one in the politics thread who defended Trump by saying "Everyone's freaking out that he said an adult word"
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>video is absolutely perfect except for one extreme bonerkiller
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>tfw favourite artist starts turning gay
which artist?
multiple, but mainly sunibee He picks up fetishes as if they're on sale.
me again
Haven't watched porn for around five days.

Abstinence kinda sucks, in the way that at times you can find almost anything attractive. Today I got a boner to Happy Tree Friends. I don't know how.

i guess that show really gets the blood going. ha ha.
Everythings wrong with my dick, seems like its been caused by a lifetime of daily masturbation

The head seems too dry even though uncut, have a lack of sensitivity that is most obvious during sex when even thrusting away or getting head don't feel much, even when I'm masturbating it takes too long and near the end have to seriously crank it with maximum effort to even finish which is way too much of a struggle (fairly unfit, though I've been doing extra walking and short bursts of jogging for awhile now just to keep things moving, apparently my heart is in fine/good shape according to the docs)

Don't even seriously care about having sex again beyond minor urges (for a basic=degree of intimate physical affection?) since its never been that great, just hate my dick getting worn out.
Rodyle !Cljnc/gZnM
Man, giving a massage is always great, but the oil I used this time was way too strong a smell when mixed with her pussy juice, made me cough.

Try jojoba oil or a biotin scentless massage cream.
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>Implying I'm watching porn with real women or men in it
None of you have sex outside of marriage solely for the sake of procreation, surely?
Your fortune: Bad Luck

Where do you think you are?
People on 4chan could still use their neetbux to hire the services of prostitutes.
Too busy paying the rent for that.
I feel bad for the sex workers during the time of the pandemic.

Alot of businesses are suffering or going under because of the situation, and their job involves getting very intimately entangled with a large amount of people.
You can't really just wear masks and be ok in those circumstances.
It's a sign anon.
>Sexual questions of any nature
Why are dicks less unpleasant looking than vaginas

Is God gay for making them that way?
Can you "cure" years of too much masturbation? Asking for a friend.
Why do you think he created man first? Then Adam turned out straight and God's like 'oh shit, im gonna have to borrow your rib for a moment'.
You're not curing masturbation itself, what are you curing? Addiction? Physical insensitivity? Erectile dysfunction? Unwanted fetish escalation? Dick ants?
>Dick ants?
Has science come up with a cure for that?

>You're not curing masturbation itself
Why not? It is a plague on humanity, it withers the soul.
Physical insensitivity.
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Stand Tall sex thread
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In these troubled times its important to stay safe
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My uncle works at marvel and sent me this audio from an upcoming MCU special

What's the worst place/time you've decided to have sex?
Inb4 Never

the boobs aren't really the focal point of that image
But only the bottom lips are touching and its not exactly the best visual viagra for me....
Look up deepthroating if you don't get it.
I wonder how prostitutes and other dealers of sex are handling the neverending epidemic.

Like their job is pretty intimate, serving multiple people on the regular, it is not really possible to have a job with a higher infection chance.

And how has it changed the response from potential clientele, have they cut back on their consumption due to events?
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it normal to be more excited by the idea of grinding an messing around than actual penetration an fuckin
Mister Twister
Recreational sex does not need to include penetration. The only people who don't know that are puritans. And buddhists (no penetration = not sex).
I imagine you put your cock in a condom for this, just incase you blow.
Can you really impregnate a chick through your slacks and through her fetish swim suit?

Actually I'm not even sure what the original context/source of that webm even was.
Was that an ongoing service? Or is it more just a single event with some pornstars and some of their lucky fans.
I think he brought up the condom simply so you don't make a mess.

>Was that an ongoing service? Or is it more just a single event with some pornstars and some of their lucky fans.
In Europe, there are porno expos where you have porn stars doing things like that, topless lapdance and rubbing your crotch and so on. I don't know if this is the same, but there are indeed events like that.
If you like sex threads, then there are 375 of them in /pco/
That's kind of dumb to say, since there's a difference between western drawn porn image threads and a general sex discussion thread.
Hmm... yes... I see that now
I'm an old man in my 30s who had a few but not enough sexual partners and am on medication that makes the whole deal sort of dulled and not worth it.

Wish it was possible to just stop thinking about sex entirely, instead of still getting excited for the subject despite not caring for the reality of it.
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Mister Twister
>just foreplay, I never finish the job
He never says he doesn't finish the job, just that doing oral that way guarantees moisture - which implies that there's penetration to follow.
Mister Twister
You missed the point, but fine.
If you have a dick smaller than 8 inches you are basically a woman, she's not gay.
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bump girl was great, does anyone have a full gallery? I'm sure I have most pics but probably not all.
Only place I can think to look off the top of the head is Know Your Meme
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What superpower would yous want for sex-purposes?
Even the most commonly wished for power of flight could have applications in the bedroom (or outdoors with a daring partner)
Mister Twister
Regeneration. Regrow some of my foreskin. Regrow it better even.
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"Shapeshifting" is cheating and I don't care!
Shapeshifting is a good choice, though it might be preferable for your partner to have it rather than yourself.
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is being a redhead a mutant superpower?
In todays multicultural world? It pretty much does.
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it would help me to get a partner
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Being able to switch between being a man and woman on a whim would be pretty good.
You can't tell me if you had that power you wouldn't explore your curiosities.
Being able to create duplicates of yourself. One Man Gangbang. Never need to worry about looking bad due to running out of stamina when you could just run a train on someone.

In a pinch would also be able to help the likes of >>423863 get a partner if granted this ability.
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That's.... informative.
Humanity's thirst for knowledge is irrepressible, it will be our salvation.
Mstr Twstr
What flies over the heads of many animal dick degenerates is the simple fact that it is very hard or even impossible to enjoy sex if you had one of those dicks. And if there is no enjoyment in sex, then what is even the point?
Why do you hate the investigative powers of Science?
Mstr Twstr
Because Science is a faggot.
Go swivel on your broomstick Harry Potter.
Sex is boring, does anyone else much prefer just jacking off?
Sex is kind of fun, but just another one of all the empty ways of using up a day.
This girl I talk to alot in college starts hitting me (physically) and calling me names, she also randomly does quirky thinks like rubbing her ass/boobs on me gently. Today she grabbed my dick (hands outside the pants). I'm big dummy and I think she likes me (question mark?) Lets say I like her, what the FUCK do I do? My self confidence is less than zero at moments like these.
I mean she can't be clearer in showing some degree of interest than grabbing your dick, if perhaps not a healthy sort of attraction.

If you are into what's going down and want things to go further (instead of it being abuse and her bullying you) you are gonna need to say something to her.
Imagine being the guy stepping into a "portal" for the first time...
Did anything ever come from this?
Or did bully girl end up beating anon to death out of frustration over his meek and unassertive ways.
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What do you think of vagrubas anon
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i remember once i hadn't cum in 4 days so my balls were pretty full and i had sex with my gf and pulled out to cum and BOOM facial and eyeshot from between her legs
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>not cumming for merely 4 days turns you into a literal sex bomb
This is actually a legit thing, the less often you drain your balls, the more sperm will be there, and it will shoot out at higher pressure. It's why porn actors can barely manage a teaspoon worth of jizz, they fuck every day so they don't have time to regenerate. And it's also one of the reasons why for couples who want a child, it is recommended to have sex every 3-4 days.
>It's why porn actors can barely manage a teaspoon worth of jizz
>can barely manage a teaspoon worth of jizz
Haha and I'm not even even a porn star, or having sex...
Mister Twister
You are talking about four days. FOUR DAYS.
You're always extremely negative whenever you comment on anything sex-related Twister.
Think I get off more reading textual sex stories now than actually looking at visual porn.
Anyone else read that stuff alot? Any personal Suggestions on where to find good stuff?

Like I bounce around various places currently, the Sex Story section of XNXX or various reddits dedicated to sex confession or experience to get a fix. Sometimes I'll just type a couple of key words then "sex stories" into google and see what pops up.
Oddly enough don't check out Literotica very much anymore, used to do so but just dropped off for some reason.
I get more aroused by the part where they grope and undress each other, than the actual fucking.
There's apparently a contraceptive pill for use by men in the works, that's interesting.
Mean if you are going out and having casual sex you probably still want to wear a condom to prevent catching anything, but this might be good for people in long-standing relationships.
I'm not sure that's a good idea, given that sperm is produced over time. You'd have to take the pill day, if not weeks in advance, to make it change sperm production in a way so all your spunk is infertile. That's assuming it affects the sperm. If it inhibits ejaculation then it would reduce the pleasure factor for many so that won't be any good. Also, the sperm production is also tied into hormone production so that's also a potential problem.

This can have significant downsides that would have long term consequences on society. But then so did the pill for women.
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Is big titty envy and big dick envy equivalent?
Not really, because big dicks aren't immediately visible and what matters isn't the size but how many pussies you put your dick into. Also, men aren't so shallow; if two women finds they dressed up the same they go full bananas.
>Also, men aren't so shallow
Haha, that's a great commercial.

>Does anyone actually shave their balls?
But smooth as pool balls?
I shave, not epilate.
This is the first time I've seen 'epilate' as a term.
Seems like a rather unpleasant thing to do.
It's the same thing as waxing, except there are machines similar to electric razors that, instead of cutting, pull the hair out.
Don't you hate it when you masturbate and manage to damage your urethrae so directly afterwards it causes you discomfort in your penis slit and leave you feeling like you need to keep going to pee more every time you walk back to your computer
redheads are truly a more evolved species of women.
Too bad they are a SSR Premium due to their low and decreasing numbers.
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Will mankind ever reach the stars and have sex with aliens?

If not is there even a reason for us to continue?
>Will mankind ever reach the stars and have sex with aliens?

I don't know, but that is the plan.
Have you no spirit of man? If that's the case, we shall CREATE them!
Maybe that was Weyland-Yutani's goal all along.
The talk of weaponizing xenomorphs was just a smokescreen for their TRUE goal, so as to acquire funding & resources from others who lacked their higher vision...
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X-ray Vision

So I could see that sexy skeleton inside
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Wonder if I should head into the city and visit the knocking shop there. Obviously haven't been over since Covid and the lockdowns happened.

Don't even really enjoy sex that much but wouldn't mind getting some intimate activity with a curvy sexworker.
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This is literally the reasoning behind the myths of Dryads isn't it?
Ancient men seeing oddly sexy trees in the wilderness and imagining the possibilities.
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Walking through the forest and then suddenly like, Damn Boi!
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I feel bad for people who need to perform potentially dangerous sexual acts to either get off or get someone else off.
Everyone knows its the religious girls that are actually freaky perverts.
Is it true you can cause serious harm by blowing air into a vagina? Or is this some urban legend I heard about long ago.
Muscle contractions would probably push the air back out, or in the worst case, it would come through your mouth as a burp.
I wouldn't be surprised if the increase in pressure could rupture the birth canal, assuming you blow in hard enough. On the other hand, that thing is designed to push out babies, so it would depend on how much air pressure is applied.
Not sure if it is something you'd want to try.

>or in the worst case, it would come through your mouth as a burp.
How exactly would air travel from the vagina into the mouth?
I read someones porn fairytale series once years ago. Was on Literotica I think.
It was about a prince whose magical vagina went all the way through to her mouth, so she could take massive long dicks all the way throughout her body, like that of a dragon..
The story ends with her in a relationship with both the Prince and the Dragon at the same time.

Remember there being a followup story about the daughter of the princess who has the same 'gift'.
At one point early on the daughter has a threesome with a friend of hers and is eating their pussy, and is surprised when the dude comes in said friend's mouth she can't swallow it out her pussy.
I did not expect that answer.
Not sure if this is the exact thread for it but here we go:

So, my last sexual partner was this really cute guy. Short, kind of chubby, caramel skin, just a real cutie. We met at my job, he was really into me and kept flirting with me except I was too oblivious to notice, so I kept making conversation and we get to really talking and I really like him. Like he shows me his photos from his drag days and we sing songs on the radio on his car and it's nice. One thing leads to another and he invited me back to a motel room for the day. And I have a really good time.

This repeats a couple times until eventually he talks about how he used to think he was trans until he learned the estrogen would kill his fertility and he couldn't have kids and he really wanted them. I don't want kids at all, so that fell completely flat. Just vanished from my life, no texts returned.

But a few weeks later another guy starts sniffing around and flirting, so I flirt back because I know what to look for a bit more now. So they start showing off and they show me their drag stuff and even come into work with it on sometimes. He asks me out and I turn him down because he's frankly kind of an asshole to a lot of my coworkers.

So, my new DnD group has a cute guy join and we're sniffing around one another's dating potential, one-upping one another's cooking on our days to bring food, etc. And he posts videos of his drag performances.

So, apparently I am drag queen bait of some sort.
That's an odd coincidence.
Do you live in the Drag Queen capital of your nation or something.
No. Or at least it's not like there's a registry for that sort of thing. The weirdness continues when you consider that it was all in the last half year or so.

It is odd, though.
save file
image:166799333100.png(2.43MB , 1724x2005 , 1667975049201682.png)
>Permavirgins are retarded
Meester Tweester
That article has "and this is a good thing".
Have sex, Dumdum!
...why do the dog breeds shown have giant dicks while the big cats have tiny ones?

and why are humans so much better hung than gorilla / orangutan / chimp / etc?
Meester Tweester
Has to do with procreactional vs recreational sex, and how often do you have it. Most animals do it once or twice a year for procreation only, so a huge dick flopping around would mostly get in the way.
Isn't there a species of chimp that basically solve every issue with sex?
>Isn't there a species of chimp that basically solve every issue with sex?
yes, it's called "girlfriends".
No, its called Bonobos, who are a kind of chimp.
save file
image:167904145316.jpg(288kB , 1212x1994 , 1679033865401860.jpg)

load average: array(3) { [0]=> float(0.06) [1]=> float(0.08) [2]=> float(0.12) }

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1679582500.927956 - 0.000356 (0.000356s): core files loaded

1679582500.928023 - 0.000423 (0.000067s): kobak\debug: setting up new instance

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1679582500.928100 - 0.000500 (0.000005s): kobak\controls: finished setup

1679582500.928102 - 0.000502 (0.000002s): kobak\modules: setting up new instance

1679582500.928104 - 0.000504 (0.000002s): kobak\modules: finished setup

1679582500.928147 - 0.000547 (0.000043s): kobak\modules: loading module kobak

1679582500.928151 - 0.000551 (0.000004s): kobak\pages: setting up new instance

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1679582500.928160 - 0.000560 (0.000003s): kobak\plugins: setting up new instance

1679582500.928161 - 0.000561 (0.000001s): kobak\plugins: finished setup

1679582500.928285 - 0.000685 (0.000124s): kobak\kobak: setting up new instance

1679582500.928291 - 0.000691 (0.000006s): kobak\kobak: finished setup

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1679582500.928510 - 0.000910 (0.000007s): kobak\errors: finished setup

1679582500.928888 - 0.001288 (0.000378s): kobak\modules: finished loading module "kobak"

1679582500.928893 - 0.001293 (0.000005s): kobak\modules: finished loading 1 module(s)

1679582500.928895 - 0.001295 (0.000002s): kobak\current: creating default rewrite rules

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1679582500.928903 - 0.001303 (0.000007s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "before_validation"

1679582500.928925 - 0.001325 (0.000022s): kobak\plugins: finished running 1 actions for hook "before_validation"

1679582500.928929 - 0.001329 (0.000004s): kobak\current: finished validating section

1679582500.928934 - 0.001334 (0.000005s): kobak\current: finished validating prerequisites

1679582500.928938 - 0.001338 (0.000004s): kobak\current: finished validating optional inputs

1679582500.928942 - 0.001342 (0.000004s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "validation"

1679582500.928950 - 0.001350 (0.000008s): KOBAK BBS: validating board

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1679582500.929682 - 0.002082 (0.000686s): kobak\db: Successfully connected to database

1679582500.929719 - 0.002119 (0.000037s): kobak\db: finished setup

1679582500.930508 - 0.002908 (0.000789s): KOBAK BBS: loading board specific plugins

1679582500.930919 - 0.003319 (0.000411s): KOBAK BBS: finished loading board specific plugins

1679582500.930928 - 0.003328 (0.000009s): KOBAK BBS: validating thread

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1679582500.941004 - 0.013404 (0.000017s): kobak\thread: query: posts queried, setting up thread object.

1679582500.941022 - 0.013422 (0.000018s): kobak\thread: query: finished.

1679582500.941054 - 0.013454 (0.000032s): kobak\plugins: finished running 1 actions for hook "validation"

1679582500.941121 - 0.013521 (0.000067s): kobak\current: Template file found

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1679582500.941129 - 0.013529 (0.000004s): kobak\html: setting up new instance

1679582500.941151 - 0.013551 (0.000022s): kobak\html: finished setup

1679582500.941154 - 0.013554 (0.000003s): kobak\current: setting up per-page HTML vars

1679582500.941161 - 0.013561 (0.000007s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "setup_html"

1679582500.941251 - 0.013651 (0.000090s): kobak\plugins: finished running 4 actions for hook "setup_html"

1679582500.941254 - 0.013654 (0.000003s): kobak\current: finished setting up all HTML vars

1679582500.941256 - 0.013656 (0.000002s): start rendering html

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1679582500.941440 - 0.013840 (0.000073s): kobak\plugins: finished running 5 actions for hook "header_meta"

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1679582500.951086 - 0.023486 (0.000109s): called footer.php

1679582500.951738 - 0.024138 (0.000652s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "footer_meta"

1679582500.951932 - 0.024332 (0.000194s): kobak\plugins: finished running 8 actions for hook "footer_meta"

1679582500.951935 - 0.024335 (0.000003s): completed rendering most of the html

1679582500.951984 - 0.024384 (0.000049s): starting debug

1679582500.952793 - 0.025193 (0.000809s): starting debug_t

1679582500.95370000: end

SQL statistics:

time taken: 0.00074410 SELECT *, ( SELECT GROUP_CONCAT(DISTINCT `kobaboardban`.`boardid` ORDER BY `kobaboardban`.`boardid` SEPARATOR ',') FROM `kobaboardban` WHERE `banid` = `id` GROUP BY `banid` ) AS `active_boards` FROM `kobaban` WHERE ( (`iplong1` = '03ecd18a') OR (`iplong1` <= '03ecd18a' AND '03ecd18a' <= `iplong2`) ) AND `type` IN(-1,0,1,2,3) AND (`id` IN ( SELECT `banid` FROM `kobaboardban` WHERE `boardid` IN(1) ) OR `global` = 1) ORDER BY `type`,`expiration` DESC no rows found or affected (prepared query)
time taken: 0.00487399 SELECT p.*, r.time r_time, r.reason r_reason, r.ipmd5 r_ipmd5, r.ipcrypt r_ipcrypt, r.password r_password, r.userid r_userid, s.total_posts, s.total_files, s.total_image, s.total_audio, s.total_video, s.total_swf, s.unique_ip, s.unique_user FROM `kobapost` p LEFT JOIN `kobareport` r on p.boardid = r.boardid and p.postid = r.postid LEFT JOIN `kobapoststats` s on p.boardid = s.boardid and p.postid = s.threadid WHERE p.`boardid` = '1' AND p.`postid` = '392469' AND `parentid` = '0' AND `deleted` = '0' UNION ALL SELECT p.*, r.time r_time, r.reason r_reason, r.ipmd5 r_ipmd5, r.ipcrypt r_ipcrypt, r.password r_password, r.userid r_userid, null as total_posts, null as total_files, null as total_image, null as total_audio, null as total_video, null as total_swf, null as unique_ip, null as unique_user FROM `kobapost` p LEFT JOIN `kobareport` r on p.boardid = r.boardid and p.postid = r.postid WHERE p.`boardid` = '1' AND `parentid` = '392469' AND `deleted` = '0' ORDER BY `parentid`,`postid` no error (prepared query)
time taken: 0.00041914 SELECT `boardid`, `parentid`, `postid` FROM `kobapost` WHERE (`boardid` = 1 AND `postid` IN(393115)) AND `deleted` = 0 no results


before_validation actions: 1 start: 1679582500.92890800 end: 1679582500.92892200 took (total): 0.000014
footer_meta actions: 8 start: 1679582500.95174400 end: 1679582500.95192400 took (total): 0.000180
header_meta actions: 5 start: 1679582500.94137200 end: 1679582500.94143700 took (total): 0.000065
setup_html actions: 4 start: 1679582500.94116500 end: 1679582500.94124900 took (total): 0.000084
validation actions: 1 start: 1679582500.92894400 end: 1679582500.94104900 took (total): 0.012105

Rewrite/redirect rules:

Redirect /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/0.html(?:\?.*)?$/ $matches[1]\/ 302
Redirect /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/1.html(?:\?.*)?$/ $matches[1]\/ 302
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/(\d\w*)s.png$/ /$matches[1]/thumbs/$matches[2]s.png
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/?(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=index&board=$matches[1]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/([0-9]*)\.html(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=index&board=$matches[1]&pagenumber=$matches[2]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/catalog\.html(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=catalog&board=$matches[1]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/t([0-9]*)\.(html|json|rss)(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=thread&board=$matches[1]&thread=$matches[2]&ext=$matches[3]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/posts_feed\.rss$/ index.php?section=posts_feed&board=$matches[1]&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/threads_feed\.rss$/ index.php?section=threads_feed&board=$matches[1]&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_posts\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_posts&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_threads\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_threads&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_nsfw_posts\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_posts&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_nsfw_threads\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_threads&ext=rss

rules in htaccess format:

RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/0.html(?:\?.*)?$ $1/ [R=302,L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/1.html(?:\?.*)?$ $1/ [R=302,L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/(\d\w*)s.png$ /$1/thumbs/$2s.png [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)/(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=index&board=$1 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/([0-9]*)\.html(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=index&board=$1&pagenumber=$2 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/catalog\.html(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=catalog&board=$1 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/t([0-9]*)\.(html|json|rss)(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=thread&board=$1&thread=$2&ext=$3 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/posts_feed\.rss$ index.php?section=posts_feed&board=$1&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/threads_feed\.rss$ index.php?section=threads_feed&board=$1&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_posts\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_posts&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_threads\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_threads&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_nsfw_posts\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_posts&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_nsfw_threads\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_threads&ext=rss [L,QSA]

Current time:

2023-03-23 07:41:40