/mtv/ - Music, Television & Film

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Hold on to your butt.
Because the park opens tomorrow.
Are you READY!?
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Hope I can learn this by heart then.
>having four raptor buddies
>not calling them Blinky, Inky, Pinky and Clyde
Blue is 2nd, she's going to go out like a champ and people gonna cry big sopping tears.
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And this is even more funny now.
To bad it did not get a shitty cartoon that we could like ironically now days.
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I saw JW.
This is what I thought of it.
Yeah, this. It isn't JP, but it is definitely a vast improvemente over part 2 and 3.

Also, Blue is the coolest, best brosaur ever, goddamn.
Most important question: How many heaps of dino-scat, and how large were they?
I always wanted my own team of pet velociraptors. Owen is living the dream I had literally since I was in kindergarten.
The final battle against the Indominous Rex is one of the most ridiculous things I've seen on film. and I fucking loved every sweet moment of it. Blue and the T-Rex teaming up? And then having that little "well done, bro" moment? Absurd, stupid, and yet SO awesome.
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And the best part about that is they trick you into thinking they are doing a repeat of the Spino fight, by having the Rex get is ass kicked thanks to the Verizon Wireless Presents Indominus-Rex's arm advantage but then the swrev happens and everyone goes AWWWWW! Great moment. Even if the fight end the same why as the shitty first IDW JP comic(see pic). Because what else are they going to do with the BIG one?
Non that I saw.

Also the reviews are in!

And now too talk about the bad stuff, because its not a perfect movie.
The 3d starts out bad but gets. (That winder background looked so shit!)
Would still recommend it when shit get going.

Claire is not the mad scientist the trailer makes her out to be.
Instead she is Twilght Sparkle: Workaholics without her number assistant dragon to keep her on the ground.
And the movie gives her so much shit for it and I could not stand that.
Like when she is on the phone with her sister and said "if she gets kids" her sister corrects by going "when you get kids".
Fuck you Hollywood, your worse then vidjagames sometimes.
I'd rather have nothing then watch you poorly jerk off them old "family values" again...

And ALOT of people makes really FUCKING stupid decisions, but thats just par for the courses.
Still, those godsdamn fucking kids!

One could also make a case about Owen being to Gary Stu'ish I guess.
But not as crasy as Blue ninja skillz.
There where guys carrying stuff out of the room just before she showes up.

And one would think they would have cleaned up all the old stuff after retaking the island.
Cool call back though.

They also shit on Drone warfar harder then the Robocop remake.
Because something alive that WANT to kill everything is better then killer robots just following programing.

Finally, my fav JP dino, Dilophosaurus, only gets a mention and a(badass) hologram cameo.
But I will take what I can get, give how they got shafted in the last two movies...

Anyway, so is Site B still a thing?

And dont stay after credist, they dont show anything.
Even if you could show the Fiendish dr. Wu being up to something.
Or get shot in the face given that one line delivery.
Atlest they have a set up for those hybrid dino soldiers now.
NO JOKE AND I WANT IT! Or just Riptors.

This took hours.
T4 was here
And I'm glad that Dr. Hendy Wu brought up the fact that there dinosaurs has always been patch job bullshit.
Even if its a blink and you miss it moment.

To bad it still wont shut up the whiny feather fans...
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Funny you should say that~
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From Twitter.
The benchmark for this movie is whether it's going to be better or worse than The Lost World. While it's not going to surpass the original movie, it can't possibly be worse than Jurassic Park III because that would require malicious intent.
Rodyle !Cljnc/gZnM
So Jurassic World is a dumb movie with stuff that annoys the hell out of me. This is not inherently an issue though, as Jurassic Park is also a dumb movie that annoys the hell out of me sometimes.

+I actually like the kids in this one.
-Leans a little too heavily on characters and elements of the first movie too much. The new CEO is basically just Indian Hammond with just a slight dab of dickish book Hammond, Ian Malcom's fucking drivel is spread over a few characters (Chris Pratt, mission control guy, Chris Black's African buddy), and they ape the Jeep Scene about 4 times
+There's some real fucking good dinosaur murder
-Wrong T-rex sound effect
-Ultimately pretty minor for me because I don't cry tears of blood over effects and there's no real way to justify puppets in daylight, but the cgi is noticeable
+The aunt starts out as the Lawyer but her Sigourney Weaver levels increase in a pleasing manner over the movie
+Chris Pratt
-The notion that people are BORED OF DINOSAURS so they have to make a super dino is dumb but whatever, what I can't get over is the Dinos For the Military subplot and the notion that priority 1 on retaking the island wasn't pumping the Aviary with the heinous chemical weaponry known to mankind
+They do such a good job at Dinosaur Disney World that I honestly would be okay with a movie that was just exploring that in depth with nobody getting eaten
-No Richard Attenborough because he's dead
+++++++++++++++++++No Jeff Goldblum because if there's any god his career is dead

I liked it. It certainly blows TLW and 3 out of the water. I would have to watch this and Park back to back to really compare the two.
For the most part it didn't seem that the issue was people getting bored of the dinosaurs (the attendance was obviously good, and visitors visibly loved the spectacle), but that people got used to the idea, that the HOLY SHIT factor was getting lost.
I would imagine that having to fly to a remote South American island probably limits exactly how high their traffic can get, and may require them to specifically target a small group of returning rich folks.
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Maybe it will become more common now when they are going have(maybe) to sell off there asset to recop loses.
Planteater petting zoo is still the shit!
>Dinosaur Disney World that I honestly would be okay with a movie that was just exploring that in depth with nobody getting eaten
May not work as a movie BUT would make one hell of a series!
Live action, cartoon, cg, I dont care, JUST GIV ME!
Jurassic Tokyo, Paris, build a new California Facility.
Okay they had a Barbasol promotion for this film, did they find the can and the remains of Dennis?
Jurassic World making serious bank over the weekend.




How about a game for the Occulus or any of those upcoming VR systems, that is all about being a visitor at Jurassic World during a normal day in the park.
Only if I have the option to mess things up.
>"Completely misses what made the original so great, but it's a good popcorn flick."

Yeah, that's about what I expected.

>Jurassic World already had been expected to score the biggest June opening of all time (way above Man of Steel’s record $116.6 million), but it also earned the biggest debut of the year, beating Avengers: Age of Ultron, which (only?) brought in $191.3 million when it opened in May. Jurassic World also earned a whopping $82.8 million on Friday, giving it the third biggest opening day of all time.
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Why does every review think this is a fake dinosaur?
It was like the most common enemie in the lost world ps1 game.
The fuck?
Because it looks dumb.
And now Jurassic World has defeated The Avengers.


>A monster hit, indeed: “Jurassic World,” as it turns out, took in $208.8 million at the North American box office over the weekend, 2 percent more than estimated on Sunday and enough to enter Hollywood’s record books as the biggest opening ever, Universal Pictures said on Monday.

>The previous record-holder was “Marvel’s The Avengers,” which took in $207.4 million over its first weekend in 2012.
That kinda tracks for most the dinos
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>no Starlord jokes
That pic's still adorable though.
That's actually pretty classy of Feige and the studios.
Shows what can happen if your studio isn't a total asshat and ruins all the goodwill between the two. T-Rex after that fight, course she can weld the hammer.
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Yea, that when thought my head too.
Sort of.
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From the thread on /co/
T4 was here
So could Echo have survied the fire or is it just me and my dad who thinks that?

I mean she did just bound on the grill, could have landed safely off-screen, just knocked out for the rest of the fight.
The way it looked, there was some sort of explosion, probably the propane tank ruptured and engulfed everything in flames. Honestly, I think Delta has better odds of surviving.
T4 was here
Yeah, but it looked like it was one of those "woosh" flames that lasts like one second.

Also finally so one makes my feeling into word:
Exept that the babysiters fate was funny as fuck to me.
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I like to compare it with the scene with Gennaro and the Rex in JP.

Both are characters who are slightly annoying and not really made endearing to the audience but get deaths that are way more brutal and humiliating than they deserve.

Maybe it's done because that's what would actually happen when the animals go out of control in that situation. And if it hadn't been them it would have been some other character (I had my money on Pratt's friend dying but was pleasantly surprised when he lived), but that death scene has to happen to *someone* to show how dire the situation is.

There's a name for that trope, it's not Worf-ing, it's something else.
Snes !v68zTeBMI.
>On the phone with her sister, Claire uses the phrase “if I have kids,” prompting Karen (Judy Greer) to disapprovingly correct her to “when,” before tearfully expounding on the importance of family values.

Every time I see somebody criticize this line, they always neglect to point out the fact that Karen was very obviously about to enter some kind of business meeting right after their conversation. If the message of the scene was supposed to be that a woman having a career is a bad thing, that seems like a very strange detail to leave in.
Not if the message wasn't "A woman shouldn't have a career" and instead was "A woman should consider having kids to be a higher priority than their careers."
Mr. Stone !zWb42fBPMM

Yeah, seems like the line is supposed to make the idea of children vs. career a zero-sum game with one choice winning over the other—with the obvious “winner” being “children”, of course. (What woman would choose career over children, amirite‽)
Personally, I didn't have any problem with that part, because in context it made sense. If it was Claire saying "gee I need to have kids" than yeah, it's stupid, but the person who said that was her sister, a woman who quite obviously has a very different set of values. Plus, that kind of joke has been done since forever using a characters' mother, just yesterday I was watching The Fifth Element and there was Corben Dallas' mom pestering him that she is never going to be a grandmother. Am I supposed to be offended by that line?

Hell, the sister is facing an imminent divorce, so it is not like having a traditional family worked out perfectly for her.
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>. Am I supposed to be offended by that line?
> Sister is in tears, obviously emotional due her divorce
> hang up the call because of that comment

Snes !v68zTeBMI.
Again, Karen obviously has a career while raising two kids, so the message obviously can't be that you have to choose between the two. I'm seeing a lot of people getting really mad at the idea that a mother of two could possibly think that having kids has improved her life. When did the idea that your family is more important than your job become misogynistic?
Right but it wasn't made as a joke, that was a completely serious line that was supposed to further the character
In my theater everybody laughed at that bit.
It's not the fact that she thinks it improved her life, it's that she takes for granted that her sister needs to have babies to be complete.
"No one ever died wishing they spent more time at the office" doesn't stop being true just because someone has ovaries.
Snes !v68zTeBMI.
See, what we have here is a failure to communicate. What I heard her say was something like "Even though I may have had to make sacrifices in other areas of my life, being a mother has brought me more joy and purpose than anything I would be doing otherwise. I encourage you to do the same someday." What you apparently heard was more along the lines of "Because you are a woman, you having a career is a bad thing because it distracts you from fulfilling your primary purpose in life of marrying a man so you can birth and raise his children."
T4 was here

Also I'm a bit sad that her making a "to do" list for a date did not get follow up joke.
They fucking wright them self, COME ON!

Like after Owen does that childish sex motion she could have said "Yes, that was on the list" and been super salty.
Snes !v68zTeBMI.
Yes what? Yes, that second quote is what you think the writers were trying to say when they put that line into the movie?
Sharkman Jhones

Man, I remember that comic making me madder than it should have. It ascribed a lot of qualities to Owen's that just felt like the artist had never seen the movie or just outright wanted him to be "problematic" rather than looking at what was actually there.

...and why does everybody look like they came out of Steven Universe?
It's the new "in" thing. Of course you're going to have a lot of people aping that style just like they did with noodle limbs after Adventure Time.
I feel weird because I never did see any of the other films.
I should put that on my immediate to-do list now.
Sharkman Jhones

1 is a must, 2 was pretty great when I was a kid, and 3...felt optional? I can't remember much of it.

>I like to compare it with the scene with Gennaro and the Rex in JP.

Hell, compare it to Jurassic Park 2, where the super nice balding tech guy gets ripped in HALF by two t-rexes just for trying to save Malcom's life, and Malcom and crew don't even give a shit about it.

The only difference between World and JP 1 & 2's brutal death scenes to people who did nothing to deserve it was that this time it happened to a woman, and that makes it "sexist" to certain stupid people.
The thing about the sitter scene is it is by far the longest, most drawn out, distressing kill in the whole movie.
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Jokes about T Rexes having small arms never stop being funny.
Yeah, the way they had it go through so many hoops did make it feel considerably more mean-spirited than any other time a dinosaur killed someone in World.
Sharkman Jhones

My guess is that they knew somebody had to die hardcore, some side character that we prolly don't care about. So the assistant got chosen. I'm not sure the scene or even the movie overall would have changed much in any way had the assistant been male.

"Well, one guy got eaten on the toilet. Second dude got double eaten, just plain ripped up by two T-Rexes, (insert hardcore eating death from 3, if present. Can't remember the events of that movie for jack.)"

"What do we do for the fourth movie?"

"Well, somebody's gotta be eaten right?"

"Right, but...we did that already."

"Well...shit...let's make it really really something, then! Like, you think the character's gonna get eaten, then...they *don't* but then they do...but they *don't*...THEN they do!"

"Brilliant! It's like the Final Destination got all up in here!"

"...The fourth Final Destination movie?"


"That's the fourth movie, THE Final Destination, it-"

"I don't care, man, I just meant in general."
Snes !v68zTeBMI.
>(insert hardcore eating death from 3, if present. Can't remember the events of that movie for jack.)
There was the guy the raptors didn't kill in the "They actually set a trap" scene. After the trap was sprung, one raptor grabbed the guy's head in its mouth and snapped his neck. That's the most memorable of the three on-screen deaths in that movie.
T4 was here
There are some cool shit here.
T4 was here
Godsdamnit, I fucking knew it!
>This was not going to be a kiddy show
>They wanted the show to be a mature prime time series
>All we needed was Spielberg’s approval.
>he never bothered to watch what we had done.

Jesus christ, what in the name of fuck.
Spielberg can be quite the pill, but that also comes from not understanding what cartoons can be more than a "toy commercial' many pin them as. And yet hew was knee deep in animated productions in the '90s, go figure.
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I can't tell if it's awesome, ridiculous, ridiculously awesome or so ridiculous it loops back around.
Anything yet on where the films will go. Will we have the Dino Whisperer having to go break up the Dino Crisis in China.
That's what I keep hearing. China does Knockoffs and things go down on Hong Kong.

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1679307532.162212 - 0.008812 (0.000015s): rendering reply 43235

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1679307532.162273 - 0.008873 (0.000020s): rendering reply 43406

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1679307532.162777 - 0.009377 (0.000018s): rendering reply 43453

1679307532.162790 - 0.009390 (0.000013s): rendering reply 43454

1679307532.162808 - 0.009408 (0.000018s): rendering reply 43455

1679307532.162830 - 0.009430 (0.000022s): rendering reply 43456

1679307532.162884 - 0.009484 (0.000054s): rendering reply 43457

1679307532.162904 - 0.009504 (0.000020s): rendering reply 43463

1679307532.162920 - 0.009520 (0.000016s): rendering reply 43469

1679307532.162942 - 0.009542 (0.000022s): rendering reply 43751

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1679307532.166304 - 0.012904 (0.000059s): rendering reply 44907

1679307532.166352 - 0.012952 (0.000048s): rendering reply 44915

1679307532.166376 - 0.012976 (0.000024s): rendering reply 45168

1679307532.166489 - 0.013089 (0.000113s): called footer.php

1679307532.166892 - 0.013492 (0.000403s): kobak\plugins: checking actions for hook "footer_meta"

1679307532.166978 - 0.013578 (0.000086s): kobak\plugins: finished running 8 actions for hook "footer_meta"

1679307532.166981 - 0.013581 (0.000003s): completed rendering most of the html

1679307532.167018 - 0.013618 (0.000037s): starting debug

1679307532.167447 - 0.014047 (0.000429s): starting debug_t

1679307532.16809200: end

SQL statistics:

time taken: 0.00054789 SELECT *, ( SELECT GROUP_CONCAT(DISTINCT `kobaboardban`.`boardid` ORDER BY `kobaboardban`.`boardid` SEPARATOR ',') FROM `kobaboardban` WHERE `banid` = `id` GROUP BY `banid` ) AS `active_boards` FROM `kobaban` WHERE ( (`iplong1` = '03eeca4c') OR (`iplong1` <= '03eeca4c' AND '03eeca4c' <= `iplong2`) ) AND `type` IN(-1,0,1,2,3) AND (`id` IN ( SELECT `banid` FROM `kobaboardban` WHERE `boardid` IN(5) ) OR `global` = 1) ORDER BY `type`,`expiration` DESC no rows found or affected (prepared query)
time taken: 0.00249696 SELECT p.*, r.time r_time, r.reason r_reason, r.ipmd5 r_ipmd5, r.ipcrypt r_ipcrypt, r.password r_password, r.userid r_userid, s.total_posts, s.total_files, s.total_image, s.total_audio, s.total_video, s.total_swf, s.unique_ip, s.unique_user FROM `kobapost` p LEFT JOIN `kobareport` r on p.boardid = r.boardid and p.postid = r.postid LEFT JOIN `kobapoststats` s on p.boardid = s.boardid and p.postid = s.threadid WHERE p.`boardid` = '5' AND p.`postid` = '43132' AND `parentid` = '0' AND `deleted` = '0' UNION ALL SELECT p.*, r.time r_time, r.reason r_reason, r.ipmd5 r_ipmd5, r.ipcrypt r_ipcrypt, r.password r_password, r.userid r_userid, null as total_posts, null as total_files, null as total_image, null as total_audio, null as total_video, null as total_swf, null as unique_ip, null as unique_user FROM `kobapost` p LEFT JOIN `kobareport` r on p.boardid = r.boardid and p.postid = r.postid WHERE p.`boardid` = '5' AND `parentid` = '43132' AND `deleted` = '0' ORDER BY `parentid`,`postid` no error (prepared query)


before_validation actions: 1 start: 1679307532.15466700 end: 1679307532.15468200 took (total): 0.000015
footer_meta actions: 8 start: 1679307532.16689900 end: 1679307532.16697400 took (total): 0.000075
header_meta actions: 4 start: 1679307532.16047100 end: 1679307532.16051700 took (total): 0.000046
setup_html actions: 4 start: 1679307532.16032900 end: 1679307532.16039500 took (total): 0.000066
validation actions: 1 start: 1679307532.15470900 end: 1679307532.16023700 took (total): 0.005528

Rewrite/redirect rules:

Redirect /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/0.html(?:\?.*)?$/ $matches[1]\/ 302
Redirect /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/1.html(?:\?.*)?$/ $matches[1]\/ 302
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/(\d\w*)s.png$/ /$matches[1]/thumbs/$matches[2]s.png
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/?(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=index&board=$matches[1]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/([0-9]*)\.html(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=index&board=$matches[1]&pagenumber=$matches[2]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/catalog\.html(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=catalog&board=$matches[1]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/t([0-9]*)\.(html|json|rss)(?:\?.*)?$/ index.php?section=thread&board=$matches[1]&thread=$matches[2]&ext=$matches[3]
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/posts_feed\.rss$/ index.php?section=posts_feed&board=$matches[1]&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/threads_feed\.rss$/ index.php?section=threads_feed&board=$matches[1]&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_posts\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_posts&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_threads\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_threads&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_nsfw_posts\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_posts&ext=rss
Rewrite: /^latest_nsfw_threads\.rss$/ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_threads&ext=rss

rules in htaccess format:

RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/0.html(?:\?.*)?$ $1/ [R=302,L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/1.html(?:\?.*)?$ $1/ [R=302,L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/(\d\w*)s.png$ /$1/thumbs/$2s.png [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)/(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=index&board=$1 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/([0-9]*)\.html(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=index&board=$1&pagenumber=$2 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/catalog\.html(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=catalog&board=$1 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/t([0-9]*)\.(html|json|rss)(?:\?.*)?$ index.php?section=thread&board=$1&thread=$2&ext=$3 [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/posts_feed\.rss$ index.php?section=posts_feed&board=$1&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^([a-z_\-0-9]*)\/threads_feed\.rss$ index.php?section=threads_feed&board=$1&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_posts\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_posts&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_threads\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_threads&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_nsfw_posts\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_posts&ext=rss [L,QSA] RewriteRule ^latest_nsfw_threads\.rss$ index.php?section=latest_nsfw_threads&ext=rss [L,QSA]

Current time:

2023-03-20 03:18:52