/md/ - Murder Drones

> meanwhile in speis

sure would suck if a DD sucked my dick

>>438
KEK

>>459
20 inches of dangling death

>>592
Buy her clothes and wash the ones she has, she obviously was smelling your clothes because hers were all dirty

>>593
That a great idea anon thank you
>Kiss your cheek

>>601
She wants you to go to the beach with her!

>>601
Probably wanting to go to the beach or that her mom isn't home so you have to rate to see if her fit goes hard so she can show all of those bozos who is the drip queen

>>617
Oh alright then I'm sure she will love a good swimming
>>618
I told her it a great bikini I even brought her a golden bikini I keep seeing around the internet she loved it

>>633
get a restraining order, it’s super simple really

>>648
I already did and they are still finding loopholes and ways

>>670
Get a gun and shoot them bitches. Castle Doctrine allows you to shoot all intruders entering your home.

Is it weird that I find that purple haired freak kinda hot?

>>673
THEY FUCKING PARTY IT LIKE ULTRAKILL
Now my legs are blown up and now they are stealing my N

>>633
Come on anon :3
Just give the N for 15 mins, he will be fine... he will be messy and whimpering, but he will be ok...

>>692
bit they ankles

>>871
not at all, flies would never go near that body

>>933
Skill issue

>>933
Easy: lead them to a trap that you can stun lock them, chuck a shit tone of fireballs since they're weak to fire and get a easy dub

>>859
ÑYEH
YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME, GOOD LUCK

>>706
>the rock one
>the fiend one
>the monke one
explain

>>1057
The 3 big femanons

>>1059
which is which

>>1071
Probably the fiend one

>>1095
There once was a Dingo that ate a baby, the end

Furlington Boat Cactory....
>Fucking dies

>>1119
I'm gonna miss ya man

>>1408
Did you really drew that?

>>1758
huh?

>>1928
I'm gonna squize it even more harder until it not a sex thing

>>1959
ryona???
erotic???

>>2056
how’d that get in there haha

>>2056
>Uzi when no n

Ooooooough the penis pump really works!

>>2854
Oh fuck was speech-to-text on? How do I delete?

so my N (had him for almost 8 months) is currently in the drone-friendly hospital getting his stomach pumped, all because he decided to go outside in the middle of the night without my knowledge and eat a whole bunch of cement.
obviously i hope he’s gonna be okay, but man, if he’s not, it’s his own fault for being such an idiot.
if anyone here has dealt with something similar, what’s the recovery gonna be like?

>>3221
My life detector machine said your lying...
Did you fed him rocks?

>>3253
No? The fuck?
Okay so I just read online that Ns like to eat anything they can fit in their mouths. And if it’s something they can’t digest, they would normally just vomit it out.
But cement. Cement solidifies.
I could only find one story about an N eating cement, and that N became lethargic and eventually died because no one knew what was wrong. That scared me to think about.
I’m really glad I took my N to the drone-friendly hospital when I did. I think he’s gonna be okay but I’m still waiting to get to see him.

>>3256
Did you see him yet?

>>3423
I got to see him, he looked really unwell and tired unlike how I’ve ever seen him before. He’s gonna be okay, though, and he was laughing about it, but he needs to rest for now, the solidified cement really tore up his insides. I went to visit with him and he asked me to give him a hug, and basically *begged* the doctors to let him come home with me, but they said he needs to stay another night. I don’t wanna leave him, but I can’t stay there with him.

Anyone know where I can get Vs for cheap?

>>3492
You should stay with him. Try hiding under the hospital bed

>>3508
7/11

>>3508
It usually the maid subspecies there hard to take care of because there weak as hell

>>3492
Update: N is home now. He’s really tired and weak, the doctors said his regenerative abilities will be working overtime for a while and he’ll be fatigued, but he seems happy. He’s happy to be home. He cuddled with me on the couch for hours and watched me play fallout. He’s not supposed to eat solid foods for a while, so I stopped at the store on the way home with him and got him some pudding and ice cream and yogurt. He just ate some chocolate pudding and now he’s getting ready for bed. I’m gonna go to sleep too in a minute, I think I’ll let him sleep in my bed tonight cause he got really lonely at the hospital.
Anyone have any advice for taking care of him? Tips for his tummy aches and making him feel better? And how to make sure he knows that I love him?

>>3673
Rub his belly and make him drink Ginger Ale

>>3688
What if I slap his belly like a bowl full of jelly?

>>3721
You'll end up inside it depending on his mood

>>3688
Thanks yeah, I did end up giving him ginger ale. The other thing I’m not sure about, if N would like that or not, I didn’t really know how to ask and it seemed kinda awkward.

>>3721
Considering his insides are torn up and he’s been taking painkillers for his stomach, I will not be doing that. I could feed him jelly, though. Good idea.
>>3741
I… doubt that.

Has anyone else seen that strange...thing, walking around? Please tell me that I'm not malfunctioning, I see it pass by me in the hallway and no one seems to think it's weird. That thing doesn't belong here, it's not a Drone and I don't care what it says but it certainly isn't a human. I've seen what humans look like in those old motivational posters and I'm pretty positive they have eyes

>>3990
Do they have green skin or a question mark on their face?

>>4020
You've seen them too!?

>>4040
Use any human cleaning product and uv light to deter those creatures, they hate those things

I came in my Drone so hard that she exploded. What do?

>>4063
Put her head in a bucket full of oil to save her.

>>3673
Update: N doesn’t wanna go back to sleeping in his own bed.

>>4218
Too bad, you need to let him know that he's his own independent man

>>4219
I kinda feel bad but like. I can’t imagine having a 6-foot-something robot next to me in bed every night for the rest of his life. What about when I get a girlfriend?

>>4242
Idea. Why not get your N a girlfriend? I know it sounds weird but maybe this will make him less ot a boy and more of a man, so he won't sleep in your bed?

>>4265
How would I do that? What kind of girlfriend?

>>4330
Fuck if I know! Look just take your N out in public and encourage him to walk around without your oversight. Of course you'll still be watching him from a distance but he doesn't know that maybe.

Hey Anon, my parents aren't home...like always.

>>4364
Babe. I think you need therapy instead of clanging

>>4368
Do we still have a therapist? I haven't seen him around in a while, and he looked pretty tired the last time I saw him.

>>4369
You saw him? I thought he was dead

>>4379
What's with everyone going "I thought he was dead" every time I mention someone? I'm pretty sure I'm not talking to ghosts.

>>4347
Soo I did exactly that and he came back with 35 purple female units.

Soooo. My N just threw up on the carpet and there’s like. Twelve whole unchewed lemons in it
Why

>>4493
You could just ask, you know?
I'll let you know the answer will be "they taste better whole".

>>4498
You were right
What the fuck
How can I prevent this

>>4523
Do you feed him anything at all? They like having something to snack on now and then. If not, start doing it.
Boiled chicken and rice is a good starter if you don't have the money or time to cook anything better. Ignore the urban legend, the rice can only "puff up and kill him" if you're dumping pounds of uncooked rice down his throat.
If you want to bond with him, the two of you can eat the same things at the same table if he's kept himself clean and not stolen or eaten anything that isn't his. Do a quick search to make sure any given food is N-safe, but most things you can eat are safe for him.

>>4524
I will keep that in mind
I will start sharing my meals with him
And punish him for eating things that aren’t his or good to eat

>>4685
Fear

>>4685
cute AF

>>4708
CUTE AF

>>4685
>>4708
The fuck does this have to do with roleplaying?

>>4758
He was posting it purely for Femanon to see. That's kinda creepy

How do I ask my owner to stop spooning me at night and touching my groin? I want to be close but not that close

>>4761
damn, i just now realised this is the wrong thread

>>4782
How?

>>4784
retardation

>>4765
you mean you don’t want cuddles?

Hi guys. My N stopped breathing?

My N drank a whole carton of milk but he’s lactose intolerant what now.

>>4364
baby girl? daddy's home… hello princess... HAHAHAHAHA

>>4959
You can't talk about Murder Drones without talking about World War Two.

Humie gib Oogi bigger beanie!

I just want all drones to remember that:
>YWN have a humie bf
>YWN get uppies from a humie
>YWN get hugs from a humie
>YWN get headpats from a humie
>YWN have a humie offer you their blood
>YWN be called a "good drone" by a humie
>YWN be a humie's cuddle buddy
>YWN clang a humie
>YWN marry a humie
Give it up, toasters.

>>5198
I would like all drones to know that I am available as a human BF. I offer a man who:
>is unemployed
>hasn't showered in a week
>can't make phone calls without crying
>spends most of his time yelling at minorities on the internet
>only plays video games to complain about them, and has no other hobbies
>his mom used to tell him she loved him

>>5223
all the drone girls reading this are creaming their panties and you know it

>>5223
>>hasn't showered in a week
Come on man, it ain't that hard to shower

You know what they say about rabbits, Anon...

>>5198
and i want all N units to know that:
>you WILL get a human owner
>you WILL be constantly seen as pickupable by your human
>you WILL be hugged, squeezed by your human
>you WILL get headpats from your human
>you WILL get to softly feed on your human
>you WILL get called a “handsome boy” by your human
>you WILL be your human’s cuddle buddy
>your human WILL become your loving wife
>you WILL consummate your marriage with your human wife

So I made the mistake of buying a J unit as a companion for my N. And I came home from work to find her lounging on the couch with cucumbers on her eyes, with him kneeling and feeding her grapes.

>>5368
Kill the N and take his place

>>5599
Of course I wouldn’t do that, I like my N. I got the J just so he wouldn’t be lonely.

…But theoretically, if I was gonna do that, hypothetically, what’s the easiest method to kill him…?

>>5663
Feed him tons of oil and then give him a cigarette

>>5785
What will that do?

Hey I'm a drone who serve this human Russian chick and I been trying to confess to her for years how do I confess properly to her?

>>5981
Blow him up

>>6026
How

I woke up with a sore throat and dizzy, I only have a V drone, she is not even looking at me, I sense that something happen, does somebody knows if they do weird things to people while they are asleep?

>>6125
I can't relate, I'd recommend however checking your stomach for rocks

>>5680
shes gonna suck them all dry

>>6466
Cute drone Nathan where did you get her?

>>6489
Oh, she was a rescue.

Why did my N ask me to rub his belly, but then when I did, he yelped and ran and hid?

>>6677
your N is a little more retarded then most

My cynpede got fat now it cannot even move itself

>>6714
You think she got fat after I fed her your abdomen?

So me and my friend were walking, and we found something called a 'grenade'. Should we pull this pin on it? It looks important

>>6834
Maybe it grants wishes? Pull it

>>6834
It a buttplug

>>6879
>>6883
Okay I pulled it. Now wha-

>>7529
Spread your asshole. You know what to do next

>>7529
Give it a gun

>>7538
Goddamit sophie

A spider told me it was God and that the world wasn't real, and I kinda believe it. What do?

>>8420
Start a cult

>>8420
Trust in it's words

>>8420
Ehh I worship another upider goddess name rachnera, she gave me the blessing of getting drunk on caffeine

>>6063
Oil is flammable

>>8876
Why yes actually, I keep it stuffed in the front of my pants. You may have it back, but wash thoroughly

My drone is saying that it wants to "fuse" with me and has this funky looking book. What does that mean?

>>8846
What do you mean? How does this affect my N

>>9000
You should do it

>>9079
If you give him a burning object such a lit cigar, he will explode

THERE ARE HOT SINGLE DISASSEMBLY DRONES IN YOUR AREA, AND YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID
>CLICK TO LEARN MORE

>>9129
Why would he explode?

>>8937
Eww why does she smell like.... Wait come BACK HERE YOU MOTHERFUCKER

>>9142
Flammable Oil + Fire = Kaboom

I think I saw a oogi in my room. What do I do?

>>9954
consume it to gain its powers

>>8876
I last saw it in the Cyn thread

>>9997
What powers will I gain?

>>10008
Terminal 7 Brain Cancer

>>8420
kratos

>>10036
>Terminal 7 Brain Cancer
Not Terminal 8? What a ripoff

>>13823
Damn she's cute, ask her out

>>13862
I already did, and she a nice fellow she also remind me of a guy name thad

>>13877
That because she is Thad's sibling???? How did you not know

>>13898
Wait I didn't know that

guys how do i force my N to swallow a pill? he’s got an infection, but when i tried to make him take the pill for it, he wouldn’t cooperate at all

>>14130
Become the pill

>>14132
instructions unclear, am now an infant drone

>>14133
The implications here terrify me, so I won't say anything other than, enjoy the hell you've created for yourself

>>14201
The fuck are you talking about? What's a Cyn let alone an N? This is a god damn WAR! NOW GET BACK IN THAT FUCKING FOXHOLE PRIVATE!

>>14769
Throw it back, private!

Guys. I found my daughter role playing with her drones in her underwear. Is 14 years too late to get a abortion?

Hi there, I have a question, how do I get Humans On Drone Resources to help... a friend

>>25476
Submit a letter

>>25496
Where do I do that? My FRIEND really needs a human

>>25497
The post office? Look it really depends, are you with a company?

This place is a fucking ghost town.

>>5223
>Labor Botcel larping as a beautiful, hot, majestic, graceful and all in all superior human.

Do toasters really?